A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:in the past 3 years ive been having trobles with guys, im 18 and im attracted to men twice my own age and every time i try to date someone my own age im not attracted to them or we just dont conect and it never works out, i just dont know what to do i dont want to marry a 40 year old but it seems that the only thing im attracted to, even if the guy is smoken hot, im just not attracted to him, but it a sexy 38 year old guys walks by ill melt. DOes anyone no what i can do to change this so i dont end up with someone 3 times older then me!!!
View related questions:
older men Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, viddard +, writes (16 July 2013):
The truth is, it is always possible that you may go before he does. I'm in my fifties, and I've lost one ex to breast cancer who was younger, and another contracted a blood infection and left two children behind. Follow your heart and live for today. Why should society dictate matters of the heart. If you lived in Europe they wouldn't bat an eye.
A
female
reader, Harlequin  +, writes (2 September 2008):
Don't be so worried about how you feel, i'm 18 and have always found older guys way more attractive and have never had successful relationships with guys my own age because of this and can see myself feeling like this for many more years, but at the end of the day whats the rush, you're still young and at the prime age to enjoy yourself without feeling guilty as you haven't got any major responsibilities such as a marriage/kids. Don't even begin to think too far ahead its not worth it, just accept your feelings and use your sense and you'll be fine. It just sounds like its frustrating you a bit, which i can understand but if its older guys you like then don't fight it, the right person will come along eventually.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): what is wrong with being attracted to older man? they are knowledgeable, stable in their job, and confident. you are the one who leads, he follows.
make up your mind, it doesn't look like you are sure about yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): I know what it is like. I am in my 20s and I have been attracted to older guys since a very young age. If you can't seem to change your "orientation", there's not much you can do for now. I suggest you try going out with some guy friends your age whom you are already comfortable with as friends. If you find it can't lead to a relationship, forcing yourself to get too involved with a guy your own age whom you are not attracted to is not fair for him and will creat hurt later on for both parties. Wanted to remind you that an older guy with his age appropriate maturity will in fact not likely to decide to marry you in reality, even if he finds himself indeed very infatuated by you, because (I know this sounds harsh but I don't want you to go through what I have gone through) other than your youth which will erode over the years, you really don't have a lot to offer intellectual and experience wise to him because you don't yet have as much life experience as him and you are in different stages of life and thus, your values, etc will differ. These differences you might be able to ignore at first, but as the relationship progresses, they will keep coming up and make mutual understandings difficult. Wait till you turn 30 and then things might get easier. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): Maybe you should try and date an guy your age or someone a bit older, like by 6 years. I don't blame you for not marrying an older man, they have load of baggage in the form of kids and exs.
...............................
A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 If you don't want to marry someone 3 times older than you, then simply don't accept any wedding proposals from someone 3 times older than you. In all likelihood, a man in his 30's is likely not going to be considering marriage if he's dating someone in her early 20's simply because of the age gap.
It's difficult to pinpoint what causes you to feel attracted to this older men. It may be that they possess a type of inner strength that you find attractive or it may be that they live a lifestyle that you enjoy, but make no mistake, eventually a guy your age will come along who will have these things and will sweep you off your feet. He may not be the best looking, or the richest, but he will have what it takes to rock your world.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 November 2007):
 Your feelings are normal. I wouldn't worry about it. Many women are finding older men attractive, because their more refined, instead of an evening beer bashing, enjoying a play, or a nice dinner. I find too younger women are attracted to older men because of the increased maturity. Some younger women are ready for a real long term relationship, where many guys that are younger are not.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): (smile). Well, hon, I think your feelings are natural. It is just that in our society, they don't usually work out well. There are all kinds of theories in psychology why you feel the way you do. Many say you need a "father figure". Maybe, but when I was your age, I had some tremendous crushes on older women. Some were teachers and married. I knew there was no chance, and I even felt guilty for my feelings. But, they were really the examples of what kind of woman I wanted to end up with. I realise that now. Use good judgement. You have lots of time. Tom
...............................
|
