A
female
age
51-59,
*hreelabs
writes:I found out my husband viewed quite alot of porn on the internet, pretty much straight porn. I knew he was up to something because we hardly ever had sex. I did a little spying and found out he was also viewing alot of personal ads but these were all transexuals and he had an online acct on a gay website. Keep in mind this man would not even watch Will and Grace. Well I lost my cool and really let him have it. Well he swore he was only curious and had not acted on anything. He begged me not to leave and he worked very hard at making amends, but I still have this nagging feeling that all is not right. I check his computer daily andits always clear of anything suspicious but I feel he is just better at hiding things. Should I confront himagain? I know if I find out he is doing this again I will leave. Any advice is much appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): I don't know. Clearly he is behaving really weird. Straight men don't just develop "curiosity" about gayness out of the blue. And happily married men don't look for extra marital flings. Gayness is something that comes about when your a kid and are beginning to have sexual thoughts. He obviously has some repressed desires for gayness that he is eager to explore at this point in his life. And to be honest he probably has explored before. Like when he was a kid. I know that when you are in a relationship and you love that person it is so easy to blind yourself of the reality of things.
Look, if you love this man, then you can work through anything. But if he is not making you happy then you might be better off without him. Just don't be fooled. Obviously this guy is gay, to some extent. And obviously he is looking for some extra marital fun. Are these things that you can live with??
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 November 2007):
 I would ask him if he's up to anything.
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