A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i'm 20 years old, happily engaged to an amazing girl and have a daughter that I love so much. I work behind a bar in a busy nightclub and recently a new girl has started her and no matter how hard I try I cant keep her out of my head, and with reason. She's stunningly beautiful, really funny, great to be with and everything. The problem is I don't ever want to cheat on m fiancee, but last night during shift we were playing little games together where we wold try to slap each others bums and put our arms around each other. I just wanted to know do you think that is wrong and I should stop talking to her alltogether or how far is too far? Also should I tell my fiancee about her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): You should continue talking to her while your are at work, but cut out the games. How would you feel if your gf did these things with a cracking looking bloke while she was at work, gutted!!! so stop the patting on the bum lark now!! Before it gets out of hand and you no longer have a lovely gf and your family life is blown apart. Also people that we meet at work and look drop dead gorgeous often make the worst partners, i know, i have tried that before, it didnt work. Take heed, stop the carrying on NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Take care
xx
A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Any man with any kind of sex drive is bound to be physically drawn to an attractive woman. It's our biological nature. With that said, you made a promise to be faithful and as a man it's your job to keep your word.
I'm in no place to put a moral judgement on your actions, but I can objectively interpret them for you. You two are flirting in a really sexual manner. If it keeps up, she WILL expect you to have sex with her but whether that happens is up to you. You have to ask yourself if you are willing to break your fiancee's trust and your own word in order to have a fling with this woman. That is what's at stake here.
As for whether or not to tell your fiancee, keep it to yourself. At the moment, nothing has really happened. You work in a bar so women are bound to flirt with you to try and get free drinks and whatnot. Which brings me to one last thing, if you for some reason, decide to risk your relationship with your fiancee then you better be sure that this woman is not just flirting with you because you work at that bar. It'd be a really bad situation if you risked your relationship for a woman who was not into you, but who was ONLY into you because you work at that bar.
Think how bad that would you make you look in the eyes of your fiancee: You'd be the man who wanted to cheat only to find that you couldn't. If she sees that other women do not find you desirable, it's very likely she'll start wondering why SHE finds you desirable; not a good situation. Not only that, but you'd be the man who wanted to cheat but did not have the social savvy to keep it quiet. What does that say about her, marrying a man who's not socially capable of keeping secrets? What things about you and her have you already spilt?
Anyway, I hope things work out for you.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 hey,
i don't think that is a good way of acting because you have a child and a fiance. don't stop talking to the other girl, but be just her partner at work DON'T PLAY THESE SILLY GAMES ,
you have your responsibilties and if you love your fiance you wouldn't replace her for anyone.
stay away from the other girl talk to her in a buisness way..
and show her that you lve your wife.
because i know that you will be more than hurt if your fiance was doing the same behaviour..cause this might make you lose everything you have with your fiance and i know for a fact that this is something you don't want,but don't keep this to yourself talk to your fiance cause she might find out one way or another... tell her maybe you have gotten too far but it will never happen again. and do anything to fix what you did and by anything i mean ANYTHING...
good luck and byeXXX(tell us what happens next)
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Hello.
Some times when people work together they grow attached to each other, which is not a bad thing, but you both seem to have taken this a stage further, horse play is not really a good thing between work mates or friends, because of the responsibility towards you GF and daughter, i would not tell your GF about this incident it may be a one off, and you dont want to upset your relationship over one act of horse play, as long as you discontinue this game straight away, i can see there is no damage done.
You really need to talk to your work mate and inform her of your situation, it will not hurt to talk to her but anything else is a no no, you really dont want to loose your GF, and daughter over this one event.
Hope this will help you.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 I think you've gone too far, and you knew that or you wouldn't be asking the question. If we feel guilt, there is usually a reason.
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