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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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What is the correct protocol for children that don't live at home and being invited out with us?
Q. I have a question for other blended families, I have two kids ages 12 and 7 and my fiance has two kids 22 and 18. The 22 and 18 year old live with their boyfriends and my children live with me and my fiance. Here is the question. When planning...
A. 3 July 2017: Well, the fact that this relationship is better than the previous ones does not mean per se that this is a good, or even sustainable, relationship. Maybe the previous ones were really terrible and this being slightly better still does not make it ... (read in full...)
What is the correct protocol for children that don't live at home and being invited out with us?
Q. I have a question for other blended families, I have two kids ages 12 and 7 and my fiance has two kids 22 and 18. The 22 and 18 year old live with their boyfriends and my children live with me and my fiance. Here is the question. When planning...
A. 2 July 2017: I see now Aunty BimBim's post - and I recant my advice. I take it back. Not that it's not sensible advice, in a normal average blended family situation. It is.
But yours is not exactly a typical situation, and your problem is not the etiq... (read in full...)
What is the correct protocol for children that don't live at home and being invited out with us?
Q. I have a question for other blended families, I have two kids ages 12 and 7 and my fiance has two kids 22 and 18. The 22 and 18 year old live with their boyfriends and my children live with me and my fiance. Here is the question. When planning...
A. 2 July 2017: I agree with Chigirl in almost everything . Of course you should have invited your bf's daughters to his special celebration - age is irrelevant in this case, same as the fact rhar they live by themselves. You should have invited them even if ... (read in full...)
I am still breast feeding my school aged child
Q. I do not see a problem with this however I wondered what the general consensus would be .... I am breastfeeding an almost 7 year old? I am quite out spoken about breastfeeding but a side from close family and friends, no one knows that we are still ...
A. 2 July 2017: Oh society has got used to the fact that there are people who live life along to the beat of their own drum; it's the solitary drummers who won't get used to the fact that other people do not have to applaude or approve their different drumbeat, ... (read in full...)
My LDR girlfriend gets obsessive when I am with my family or friends
Q. So long story short ive been in this relationship and it started off perfectly fine until she got obsessively clingy. Everytime i go out with my parents/friends/family and I'm too busy to respond (I should include this is a long distance ...
A. 2 July 2017: No, obviously this is not normal- nor acceptable. Why do you put up with this ? She is not a woman... she is an electronic anklet !. I am sure that you like, or love , this person and you'd rather stay in the relationship . But without mutual trust ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about her behavior. She seemed into me but then would not get off the phone??
Q. Hi, I met this girl whilst I was going to work. She works in an airport. I travel a lot on short flights. I noticed this girl was very friendly to me a few weeks ago. Also when I entered the airport the other week I noticed she had spotted me and ...
A. 30 June 2017: If she has not answered anything, not even one of those vague " very busy right now "... it sounds like she 'd rather be left alone. Who knows, maybe she has one of those botring jobs where the occasional chat with a friendly customer is a ... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex-roommate will want to date me again if I put zero pressure on him?
Q. So I dated my roommate for a year. It never progressed very far because every time I put pressure on him (which I have a habit of doing) he freaked out and pulled away. We really liked each other though so I always assumed the problem was living ...
A. 30 June 2017: I agree with Honeypie, I think too you won't fix it.
Or, maybe you'll " fix it " in the sense that , if in a while he should miss you and contact you again ( whether because just horny or genuinely nostalgic, it does not matter ) he stil... (read in full...)
Is a man without a big wallet a deal breaker for you?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently met a great man. We've been dating for a few months but we have met each other's parents because we are serious about each other. Recently though, my worries have been our financial status. He is a hard working chef a...
A. 30 June 2017: This may seem harsh too, but yours is a strange question, coming from someone who is unemployed , or at best a part time worker : where is YOUR big wallet ? What do you bring to the table, moneywise ? Maybe you should concern yourself about how ... (read in full...)
2000 messages after and my interest has not waned in one particular man
Q. I am a little sad as I write this and would appreciate this question is posted. I am new to online dating. A guy from the dating site started talking to me. I wasn't interested in him but after a few days of talking. We exchanged numbers, did skype ...
A. 27 June 2017: He said he is interested , but he is not showing it through his actions, and actions speak louder than words.
Sounds like a waste of time, if you ask me. First of all, he does not want to get married , and you do. Ok, marriage is not some... (read in full...)
Graduation dilemma - what should I do ?
Q. Hi there ! I have a " graduation " Dilemma . I had a messy divorce and lost my home and most of my possessions to my ex husband . My daughter has a University graduation in two weeks and gave her two allocated tickers for her graduation to her ...
A. 27 June 2017: I agree with Denizen, - get over it. It's worth having to go through some inconvenience to be there for your daughter in such a special occasion, and if all the hardship you'll have to go through is to wait outside with your ex husband- it 's not ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend had me arrested for harassment charges! Has anyone else experienced this?
Q. I need some advice please. I was with my boyfriend nearly 2 years and the relationship was great, we had so much in common and were lovers but also best friends. I have abandonment issues and eventually started to self destruct until, after weeks of...
A. 27 June 2017: Well, regardless of the fact that you could, and should, have blocked him and deleted him even if he pleaded to stay in touch.- let's define " stay in touch ".
It's very possible that your ideas about what constitutes staying in touch betw... (read in full...)
I'm confused about her behavior. She seemed into me but then would not get off the phone??
Q. Hi, I met this girl whilst I was going to work. She works in an airport. I travel a lot on short flights. I noticed this girl was very friendly to me a few weeks ago. Also when I entered the airport the other week I noticed she had spotted me and ...
A. 27 June 2017: Hey, even if she does not answer, or answers no- at least you have tried. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I agree that, from what you say, she sounded interested ; asking you about your relationship status, and letting you know hers.. gene... (read in full...)
He's a slob but I'm afaid to let go
Q. I don't know what to do any more. My relationship seems like it's going nowhere quickly. I use to be really happy with my boyfriend, but now he constantly blames me for everything. He's never happy with anything. The other night I called him o...
A. 27 June 2017: He thinks drinking a bottle of wine a day , or a bottle of vodka in one sitting ( congratulations for his strong fiber, there's plenty people who ended up in an ethilic coma for trying to do this ! ) in front of a 5 years old is acceptable. You, ... (read in full...)
I have a gf but still think about my ex
Q. I feel so bad for thinking about my ex and I know people are going to bag me out for it. If it was someone coming to me, in which I am often the person, it is what I would be telling them. I tried to give myself time to heal after we broke up, 2 y...
A. 27 June 2017: ...Erm...and ?
It's over. O-V-E-R. All this was 3 years ago. It made you suffer, it affected you, no doubt- but : you csn't change the past. You can never go back to what it was. You can never bathe twice in the very same river- water flows, and ... (read in full...)
He cheated, we broke up. He's never apologized and its weird being in the same group of friends
Q. The guy I was seeing exclusively for the past few months recently cheated on me when he was drunk and I found out about it from my friend. At the time I was obviously very angry and upset when I spoke to him and so even though he apologised it ...
A. 26 June 2017: For the sake of the group ?... He does not need to do anything for the sake of the group. This is personal, between you and him, and technically he has already done what he was supposed to do, i.e apologize to you. You decided to not accept his ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend had me arrested for harassment charges! Has anyone else experienced this?
Q. I need some advice please. I was with my boyfriend nearly 2 years and the relationship was great, we had so much in common and were lovers but also best friends. I have abandonment issues and eventually started to self destruct until, after weeks of...
A. 26 June 2017: Yes, it would be interesting to know the other side of the story. What he did sounds rather extreme and unless he really brings you ill will, in a very bad, unhealthy way, I don't think he would have resorted to that, unless you had acted in a ... (read in full...)
Why is he still looking for me? He's married now.
Q. 9 years ago (15-16yrs old)I dated a guy in H.S. But we only dated for about a month before he broke up with me over the phone. In that month we were together we had sex and seems like all the guys were talking about it..Well next school year he ...
A. 24 June 2017: Now, you block him, do not respond to any attempts to contact if he tries again, ignore him, and move on with your life , as it is about time. What else ? What else would you want to do ?
You know he is using you for sex !, and also with... (read in full...)
Told my boyfriend I got a new job at a hotel. He was concerned men would look up my skirt.
Q. I told my boyfriend I just got a new job! It will help me pay my bills and I really needed a job right now. It's in housekeeping at an upscale hotel. The first question he asked is what will I be wearing? He was concerned it would be a skimp...
A. 23 June 2017: I can think of a few guesses right off the bat, but they are all just guesses, we really can't say anything sensible without any background. We do not know anything about him, or his personality, or his culture, or your financial position ... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating lied he said he was 30, he's almost 44
Q. Aunts and uncles! Please help.. So I've been seeing a guy for 5 months, I'm 25 and he's 30.. Things are a bit rocky here and there, but today iced the cake. I seen a comment on Facebook and decided to Snoop... I see him address his 38 year old brot...
A. 22 June 2017: This IS a big deal. Apparently if you had known that he was 18 uears older than you, you would not have given him a chance, or at least you would have thought long abd hard befire taking up with him. He knew or imagined that, so he fised the ... (read in full...)
We don't want kids or pregnancy but husband is against abortion. Help!
Q. My husband and I never wanted children. I dislike children and the thought of being pregnant. He is fine with them but prefers not to have any of his own. We have always used condoms. I have never used any other kind of birth control. I do no...
A. 22 June 2017: Just for the record : tubal ligation , and tubal implants , do not guarantee 100% success. There is still a ( small ) risk of becoming pregnant after the procedure.
5 out of about 1000 women will become pregnant after 1 year from tubal liga... (read in full...)
I feel disappointed by my friends' promiscuity
Q. I am a gay guys with have two other gay friends, who are extremely sexual and attractive. Every time we meet someone who is remotely attractive they make a b-line for them within minutes. They have slept with or tried to sleep with maybe 85% of the ...
A. 22 June 2017: Uhm- and you are looking for " meaningful connections" in gay bars and gay clubs ? Based on what, the meaningful conversations and sincere exchanges which you definitely cannot have in that type of venue ?
Pardon my cynicism, but I am not just... (read in full...)
Do I ask him about marriage? children? He says he doesn't ever want to marry again
Q. Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to think about having children and getting married? We both have a daughter each, and he has been divorced for the last 3 years officially. He is 10 years older then me, and we met while he was in the process of g...
A. 22 June 2017: But you have asked him already , and he said NO. In fact , no to marriage , and "uhm... yeah maybe" to adding to the family.
What else can you ask him ? if you ask him : Do you want to marry me NOW, do you want a child with me NOW- you know the ... (read in full...)
Told my boyfriend I got a new job at a hotel. He was concerned men would look up my skirt.
Q. I told my boyfriend I just got a new job! It will help me pay my bills and I really needed a job right now. It's in housekeeping at an upscale hotel. The first question he asked is what will I be wearing? He was concerned it would be a skimp...
A. 22 June 2017: Nonsense. Your bf must have watched too much old fashioned " French maid " porn movies .
When I was young, I took a summer job cleaning rooms in a posh hotel in Park Lane ( London ). We had to wear a skirted uniform ( a sort of baby blue... (read in full...)
Is my son over-reacting?
Q. My son is 20 and my older son 27. They started college around the same time. My oldest is going to a for-profit school for culinary arts; meanwhile my youngest is attending a community college on a full pell grant.. my oldest needs the car to attend ...
A. 21 June 2017: No he is not over reacting, he is damn right !
I can't even believe this is a true question, IMO it must be a troll. Either that, or parenting styles are really widely different in your country and mine , way more than I had noticed and expe... (read in full...)
I feel disappointed by my friends' promiscuity
Q. I am a gay guys with have two other gay friends, who are extremely sexual and attractive. Every time we meet someone who is remotely attractive they make a b-line for them within minutes. They have slept with or tried to sleep with maybe 85% of the ...
A. 21 June 2017: I confess that I am more on the side of your slutty friends. Non because I like promiscuous people of any gender or because I like promiscuity. But because, tbh, I find your predicament quite hypocritical.
Basically, you are complaining that... (read in full...)
Does her telling me to move on really mean its over?
Q. Hello i was in a relationship with a woman for 17 months , she ended it because we argued, quite a bit , as she wanted to settle down,and i did , but not yet , she said at begining of april ,can,t say goodbye , so i,ll say goodnight, that was the ...
A. 21 June 2017: No, most women do NOT say one thing and mean another. Particularly in your age range, by which they have stopped playing silly games if they ever did before.
Of course , some do ( play games ). Those are women , though, who are mani... (read in full...)
Am I selfish or is he trying to guilt trip me?
Q. I feel my boyfriend has the most unrealistic expectations of me and it's really pushing me away. Hr told me this evening on the phone that his back went out of place so he had to take the day off work to rest as well as see a physio. He also ...
A. 21 June 2017: Ar a glance.. maybe half and half :)
Your bf IS laying it on pretty thick- then again, it depends. The distance is 90 minutes also for him, so if he is the one who is always, or most often , driving to see you on weekends- then you do not ... (read in full...)
Why did he give up his trip with the boys?
Q. My boyfriend turned down a golf trip with the guys next weekend. It's out of town and they go every year. He said it's because he knows I worry and he doesn't want to upset me. In the past I have given him grief. Many of the guys go to strip club...
A. 21 June 2017: Uh ? You've lost me :)
- You asked him why he cancelled the trip when he knew you were away. He said : but I did not know, I had forgotten. Why is this answer not good enough for you ? Are you in the habit of doubting regularly anything he says... (read in full...)
When I say I love you, he says thank you. Should we be in a relationship?
Q. I just want to know a thinkg ....my bf is a kind not intrstd in marriage he just says we will be in relationship for how long we can be.and if I say love he just says thank you...wat does it mean...I INA confused statsle now..should I finish this ...
A. 20 June 2017: Considering that in your country the overwhelming majority of marriages are STILL arranged , regardless of what Bollywood movies choose to tell us, and that if your bf is Hindu or Muslim ( combined, another overwhelming majority ! ) he may not ... (read in full...)
I'm tempted to punish him by cheating on him
Q. Hey all!! I'm in need of some good solid advice and know this website would be my best bet for non sugar coated advice. I know I'm not the only person going thru this type of stuff, so please help me thru it. I've been dating the same guy for...
A. 19 June 2017: Whar makes you think that he would go trough the same pain you went through. What if he is not that bothered. What if he basically does not give a f..k, except perhaps ar best because of superficial hurt to his male pride .
It does not
soun... (read in full...)
Why did he give up his trip with the boys?
Q. My boyfriend turned down a golf trip with the guys next weekend. It's out of town and they go every year. He said it's because he knows I worry and he doesn't want to upset me. In the past I have given him grief. Many of the guys go to strip club...
A. 19 June 2017: Well, because you gave him enough grief in the past that he has decided that the small pleasure of hanging around his hotel room with his buddies ( or even to be able to tag along when they they visit strip clubs ! ) is not worth the aggravation he ... (read in full...)
What are some warning signs I should look out for when dating?
Q. what are some warning signs/ red flags I should watch out for when getting into a relationship? I was in a short term relationship with a guy months ago that I got re- introduced with friends. There was a mutual attraction and I was very excited ...
A. 16 June 2017: I think I remember your story from previous posts , but , in case I were mixing you up with other posters, what I am going to say also applies to your current post :
I don't think this is a matter of red flags and warning signs , exactly. It is s... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wanted to use an old tube of lubricant during sex but I got upset because he's used it with previous partners. Am I being silly?
Q. Hi Everyone, So I have a bit of an awkward question, but genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting and too embarrassed too ask friends/family. So my boyfriend of 1 year has had a tube of lubricant in his drawer for a while, I noticed it a whil...
A. 16 June 2017: Yes, you are.
While on one hand I understand how you do not particularly enjoy to be reminded of your bf's sexual past , which is something you'd rather not to focus on, - then again if you wanted to be coherent, by the same token you shou... (read in full...)
Who could this strange woman be who showed up asking questions about me?
Q. Can anyone help me make sense of this situation? I live in a house. I rent the downstairs portion. My landlord who owns the home told me that this morning a woman knocked on his door asking questions about me. I was not home at the time. She ...
A. 16 June 2017: I would exclude that this visit is your landlord's invention, why should he have concocted such a story ?, it does not benefit him in any way.. Why would your landlord want to scare you ? his interest is not in scaring you away, but in fact in ... (read in full...)
I changed my mind about having children, he wants children would this be the end of our relationship?
Q. Hi everyone, this one is a difficult one for me. I recently got engaged to a man I love and think the world off, the time we been together we have had minor disagreements, but other than that the relationship has progressed smoothly. Lately I have ...
A. 16 June 2017: If it's just about the babysitting costs, well yes, a bit.
Having children IS a costly endeavour per se. It just comes with spending money, and you should be prepared to that , if you DO actually want a child.
Plus, you would spend money an... (read in full...)
My partner is making me feel bad for not letting him live with me permanently. What should I do?
Q. When I first met my partner, I explained in the first 3 months my views about living together before engagement. I explained that I have lived with an ex in the past and it didn't work, so therefore I want to wait until engagement before living ...
A. 16 June 2017: He is being silly- and manipulative. ( And maybe you should think long and hard if marrying him is the best choice for you, or even an option; but that's another sthing ).
Why is it your fault if he did not make adequate living arrangements bef... (read in full...)
I'm not sure that I want to return to my husband. He can become abusive and violent
Q. I am currently separated from my husband as he is staying with his family abroad due to family matters. My husband can have an extremely bad temper and I have always been scared of him and nervous around him and not the happy person I used to be be...
A. 16 June 2017: I DO try my best when I answer DC questions to put myself in the OP's shoes, to see where they are coming from.. but some times it's next to impossible :
OP ! You've gotta be kidding. I think that this would be a simple, linear decision to make... (read in full...)
I didn't cheat so why do I have crabs and my husband?
Q. I'm married I found crab louse on me I'm not Committing adultery my husband doesn't have any of those things on his body how can that be?...
A. 13 June 2017: Pubic lice are generally transmitted through sexual contacts, but it is possibile, although uncommon, to get them through contact with bedsheets, towels, or other induments ( lingerie, swimming suits .. ) etc. recently used by an infested ... (read in full...)
My partner is falling for his ex and although I know I should end things I love him!
Q. I've been in my relationship now for almost 6 years and engaged for 2 of those years. (No date for marriage due to both of us being at risk of redundancy) and over 5 years ago we had a problem with my partners work colleague. To give a little ba...
A. 13 June 2017: I agree with YCBS ; I think too that you should choose for him.
I realize that it's easier said than done and that it must be very painful for you to let go of the man you had planned your future with. Then again, keeping living with someone who ... (read in full...)
Six years together and she doesn't want to commit
Q. My girlfriend of six years can’t commit. She doesn’t want to be tied down. She lives in my house but only pays towards the services – gas, electricity etc. She pays nothing towards household items but does buy some of the food. I can’t get her ...
A. 13 June 2017: She won't give you back your life ? ... Easy : start making her pay rent - and her exact half of all food , bills, and household items . She's gonna be out of there faster than you can say " domesticity " !
This is an extremely convenie... (read in full...)
Why am I so stuck on social media?
Q. Hello everyone About two years ago I used to hang out with a group of girls that weren't that great - they were gossip fueled - vain - and all they cared about is showing off and getting married. For two years I fell into that hole - I started...
A. 13 June 2017: Well, can't you simply disconnect from social media, if it bothers you so much ? Close your Facebok account ...and enjoy all the leisure time which Facebook currently ties up for you, and which is probably more than you have realized, by flling it ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to gain the attention of this gorgeous Turkish girl when I return to Turkey for another vacation?
Q. Hi people I'm a college student from France. So I want to share my story with you all and hopefully find a solution. A couple friends and I went on vacation to Turkey 2 weeks ago, and I met this gorgeous Turkish girl. I've never seen anything li...
A. 12 June 2017: Not to rain on your parade, but , if you have already tried to send her textS, plural, and she never answers, maybe she is not overly interested, and SHE is the one who wants to keep it at a cute little holiday conversation !
Turkish girl... (read in full...)
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