A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there ! I have a " graduation " Dilemma . I had a messy divorce and lost my home and most of my possessions to my ex husband . My daughter has a University graduation in two weeks and gave her two allocated tickers for her graduation to her grandparents . Both my ex husband and I have been put on a waiting list for any spare tickets . My daughter has said " If there are no tickets available " why don't you wait outside ? ! My daughter is now 22 years old and it is a three hour trip to get to the graduation ceremony ....I feel hurt but understand who to invite is difficult for my daughter . I really do not want to wait outside with my ex husband ! Advice would be appreciated !
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (27 June 2017):
 OUCH! So your daughter is graduating from college and was given two tickets to have who she chose to be there, and she bypassed you and your ex-husband and instead gave them to her grandparents??
That's gotta hurt! Why did she do that?? Was your divorce so messy as to make her nervous that the two of you would cause a scene? Obviously, since you are hesitant to occupy the same space at the same time as your ex, I wouldn't go to the graduation to wait outside.
The best thing to do in this situation is schedule a separate time to celebrate with her. I would not drive 3 hours in order to wait outside, and yes, I'd be hurt too. But it sounds like you understand that she has a reason for who she chose, and you can't unscramble the egg of the divorce, which I'm sure she's devastated over.
If you're on the waiting list, you may be able to stay in contact with the school or check the city or college periodicals for extra tickets to get a hold of to go. Some kids' parents can't make the drive, so there might be spare tickets. Be proactive, and maybe you'll get lucky and get your seat.
Otherwise, don't wait outside. She made her choice, and without a ticket, you shouldn't drive there. Make your separate mother-daughter celebration time plans then as your alternative.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 June 2017):
 I agree with Denizen, - get over it. It's worth having to go through some inconvenience to be there for your daughter in such a special occasion, and if all the hardship you'll have to go through is to wait outside with your ex husband- it 's not such a hardship, no matter how bad your relationships are. He surely won't physicallu attack you or verbally abuse you while you are waitung for your daughter to come out from the ceremony, right ?
You don't need to entertain him or to make conversation if you don't feel up to it. You can greet him with a civil " Hi how are you ? " or another bare minimum expression of polite aknowledgement, and then, if you wish... take out a book or a magazine and read until your daughter shows up. This is not about you or your ex , or what either one likes and prefers ; this is about celebrating your daughter's big accomplishment !
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (27 June 2017):
 Get over it. It is your daughter. Plan to take her and the grandparents somewhere special after the ceremony. Three hours to her special event...? Well that's not much compared to a lifetime is it?
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