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*izz.butterflies agony aunt

*izz.butterflies

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*izz.butterflies's profile:

I love knowing I can change someone's life by providing the right advice.Since I was little I was advising my friends and when I couldn't advise myself I would seek the advice of others.

The kind of advice I tend to give is practical.I put the person who asked FIRST,and morality second.I am not worried much about what society suggests,as society views are always altered by the time/area we live in. My faith in God results in Morality,but I will always consider YOUR good first,then societys.

Thanks for reading this Have fun & God Bless

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Why can't he stay hard?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. At first I held off having sex with him because I wanted it to be "special" I guess. I wanted to see if he was in it for the long run. And he waited just like I asked. I love him and I know he loves ...

A.   10 September 2014: I've had the same problem with my ex.He was only 22 but couldnt keep it up. he also took medical exams which turned out to be ok. so what was the real issue? i always encouraged him to have sex, unlike you, so that his confidence wont drop. bu... (read in full...)

Is she loyal or disrespectful?

Q.   Hi, I have been dating my gf for more than 2 years now and we are deeply in love. We have a great sense of understanding. Recently her job took her to another city. We do keep in touch daily. Now, the problem is her colleague is really inter...

A.   10 September 2014: Tell her 1) to return the gifts 2) to stop meeting him outside the office. in other words, man up otherwise... ur gf is taking u for granted. i also suggest u go to her city for the weekened and deal with the guy. ... (read in full...)

I don't want to care about him no more!

Q.   Hi. I'm 24 years old and I still care about this guy I loved since Iwas 17. There was always a mmisunderstanding with the two of us to where we never got back together. But at times he would say he wanted to be alone and then when I'm in a situation ...

A.   8 September 2014: I have been in the same exact situation. It took me two relationships to get over him, but mostly the fact that after 4 years of no communication, I decided to have closure. The problem is, we put these guys on a pedestal. When I approach... (read in full...)

When we spend time in his country I'm basically an afterthought

Q.   My husband and I have grown apart. When we are together traveling (which we do frequently) or even staying in my country we get along great. We spend time together and have dates, watch movies, exercise together, make love and generally get along ...

A.   8 September 2014: where is he from?... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is stressed; why is he so distant?

Q.   I will try to give you all a synopsis of my situation to hopefully obtain a better standing from my viewpoint. This incredible guy and I have been quite serious for about a month now. We haven't put a label on our relationship, but we both know and ...

A.   8 September 2014: okay u didnt mention how far u live from each other. I suggest u go see him and relax him a bit. maybe when hes stressed he cannot be good in online/phone communication.... (read in full...)

Should I Be Annoyed With My Boyfriends Mum?

Q.   I am a bit annoyed with my boyfriends mum. My boyfriends brother had a kid some months ago and his mum has that kids photo on her phone as a wallpaper instead of mine. I had my baby but she has not changed the photo from being of that other kid. ...

A.   8 September 2014: did it occur to you that maybe someone else set the picture of the other grandkid in her phone as wallpaper? like a nephew or friend? Maybe she doesnt know how to set the wallpaper and doesnt care much to change it? avoiding her for this... (read in full...)

He's scared to leave her to come back to me!

Q.   Im asking for help on a very tricky long question so im sorry in advance for this. History of it started 7years ago me and my partner got together we had known eachother on off for 5years before and things moved quick. I was pregnant after 4...

A.   15 March 2013: e are best friends n have kids ... Excuses, excuses. No, you aren't best friends. You feel you deserve to be with him just cause you have kids with him. it doesnt work like that. You are basically his mother. always there for him whenever he ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't drink, how do I handle the alcohol issue in his birthday party invitation??

Q.   Hey y'all ! So I've been in a LDR with my awesome boyfriend for a year now. He comes to see me often, so he's met my friends. this time, i want to throw a birthday party for him at my apartment...and all *my* friends will be invited obviously since ...

A.   10 February 2013: First off, thanks for the responses :) I dont know guys... like i said, my boyfriend has been around my friends who drink, but this time its gonna be HIS party. I'm thinking of calling them up actually. It's gonna be easier to convey and won't sound ... (read in full...)

My husband left me to go to the states while I wait for my visa. I miss him!

Q.   i got married two month back and a two weeks ago my husband left me and went to states and i am here waiting for my visa to come. the problem is that i miss him alot. i spend most of the day looking at his picture and crying.we videotalk on a daily ...

A.   18 January 2013: how long do u have to wait ??... (read in full...)

Moment of silence for Dear Abby

Q.   I think we should have a moment of silence for the passing of our fellow agoney aunt Dear Abby....

A.   18 January 2013: When did this happen???? Rest in peace aunt Abby!... (read in full...)

Do I get out of my troubled relationship now or stick it out till August?

Q.   Hello, I've been dealing with some issues lately and I've decided to turn to the internet for help. I've been dating this guy for nine months as of the 17th of January. Let's call him Ted (that's not his real name). Ted and I have known each ot...

A.   18 January 2013: Man...what a story... I can write for hours but let me just sum it up : 1) Stop any contact with the slutty friend who slept with Ted. The reeason isnt only because she did what she did but also because she doesnt offer you PEACE of MIND. She has ... (read in full...)

More than 6 years together, he's still putting off marriage and now its making me bitter and unhappy.

Q.   Sorry for the length, I feel the information is necessary to get a good reply. THANKS to anyone who reads and replies! I am 24(female), my boyfriend is 33. We have been together for over 6 years and living together for just about 6 years. No majo...

A.   17 January 2013: i agree with all the aunts. let us know when the 7th anniversary happens .... (read in full...)

My friend/college room mate is a stalker and its really starting to creep me out!

Q.   Okay so I recently started noticing something about my friend, strange behavior! We recently got accepted to a university and we share a dorm together. I never really noticed it about her untill we moved together. Okay so the strange behavior is ...

A.   17 January 2013: how can u be college roomates with a girl when ur a guy? I think u should get rid of her asap. a person whos constantly on facebook stalking people and wont even let u sleep at night.... u've had enough my friend. go move in with one of ur male ... (read in full...)

Should I leave my girlfriend because of my insecurities?

Q.   I have been asking for advice regarding my ldr before, so this is not the firts time im posting, i tried to post a while ago but it was rejected due to lack of information, so i will try to give as much info as i can keeping it short. I have a l...

A.   17 January 2013: I need to talk to you in private. I am dealing with a very similar situation. Send me a message and I'll get back to you. ... (read in full...)

My daughter doesn't get along with my fiance and when she sees her father is so down and then sees me so happy, she takes it out on us. What can I do?

Q.   My daughter is moving back home from uni very soon. The problem is she doesnt like my fiance and barely speaks to him unless she wants him to do something for her. Its not been too difficult when its just for a few days at a time but full time, i ...

A.   16 June 2012: caring guy is 100% right. dont expect her to just be decent around ur fiance...even if she is, r u gonna be happy that she isnt truly at peace? take her out and TALK with her. COMMUNICATE. dont tell her she needs to respect ur fiance etc...focus on ... (read in full...)

Online guy--we're going to meet should I take a parent the first time?

Q.   so three years ago i met a guy online, he lives in another country . So we were friends for about a year then it kind've became an online relationship when he told me he liked me and i liked him back. We talk on video call etc and ive spoken to his ...

A.   16 June 2012: where is he from? :)... (read in full...)

I rarely feel like having sex. Is there anything I can do naturally to help this problem?

Q.   I'm a 30 year old man. I very rarely feel like Sex. I know it's affecting my relationship. I always want to sleep as soon as I lie down. I fall asleep so easily, after sex, if we have it, I fall straight asleep. I dread the thought of sex. When we ...

A.   16 June 2012: maybe ur tired of it because ur overly exposed to it since ur fiance has such a sex drive that secretly you know she will initiate sex so u dont wanna bother.... have a talk with her and ask her to stop initiating sex...just to see what happens..... ... (read in full...)

I have a b/f, just wanted a friend but have I done something wrong?

Q.   I'm currently in a very loving relationship and have been for three months. Unfortunately, he went home for the summer while I stayed to do summer school. He and I talk everyday and I tell him I love him. Geez, I just finished writing him a love ...

A.   11 June 2012: dont say anything to ur boyfriend. be less naive please. theres nothing wrong with having guy friends but they should know ur seeing someone and RESPECT THAT. now move on ...nothing happened and dont upset ur boyfriend over this...especially if u ... (read in full...)

Why is everything conditional in this marriage to her? Am I way too forgiving?

Q.   Firstly, a big thankyou to the agony aunts who helped me through some past difficult times :) I can bring some good news. I'm still married (I'll get to that in a bit) and my work situation has improved so much. I went through a rocky period of ...

A.   11 June 2012: I understand. Everything is clear then. Divorce her. she has no right calling you a loser. and she has no right to make ur life miserable. and u have no right letting her do that. divorce her and stop getting so sentimental. any other guy would have ... (read in full...)

I have a b/f, just wanted a friend but have I done something wrong?

Q.   I'm currently in a very loving relationship and have been for three months. Unfortunately, he went home for the summer while I stayed to do summer school. He and I talk everyday and I tell him I love him. Geez, I just finished writing him a love ...

A.   3 June 2012: hellooo;...hes not a friend since he started talking about ur outfit and hair...(unless hes gay) he was flirting with u from day 1... i say tell him u dont wanna hang out with him anymore... thats the end of it. u love ur boyfriend,dont mess things ... (read in full...)

Could a long distance relationship work?

Q.   Well here it goes, I've been chatting online with some girl for a few months now and believe i'm in love, here is how it all happened, and all i'm wondering is.. Is it possible? can it happen? does she really love me? It all started online i...

A.   3 June 2012: its working now isnt it? dont go to croatia though. u need to meet soon.... (read in full...)

Why is everything conditional in this marriage to her? Am I way too forgiving?

Q.   Firstly, a big thankyou to the agony aunts who helped me through some past difficult times :) I can bring some good news. I'm still married (I'll get to that in a bit) and my work situation has improved so much. I went through a rocky period of ...

A.   3 June 2012: the truth is gonna hurt. now listen. 1) yes your wife is wrong for chatting up all these dudes BUT ... PEOPLE GET AWAY WITH WHAT POEOPLE LET THEM GET AWAY WITH. repeat 10 times . What does this mean? from reading ur post, ive u... (read in full...)

Risk my heart for passion? Or not have passion but have stability?

Q.   "John" is the father of my four year old daughter. He hasn't seen her in four years. My choice, because I don't like his lifestyle. He's a player, has to be out every single night, and my daughter is only one of three of his kids, all with ...

A.   3 June 2012: The good part is youre not offically yet with george. u can get it out of ur system with john , if u think it wont affect you. and yes im speaking about sexual gratification here. if you choose to do this for the sake of the passion, rememeber that ... (read in full...)

Tips for first-time clubbing?

Q.   this is my first time going round town and basicly what do i do??? just got my i.d (im 19) my friends have invited me out tomorow night and what do i do? how do i speak to girls?? do i have to dance? (wich i cant) what about when my mate goes to the ...

A.   3 June 2012: did you hear the word SWAG before? Well do your research. No, you can't be standing there, looking intimidated. You should smile and have a fun time with your friends. by no means go to the bathroom when ur mates go. DO NOT GET DRUNK...that... (read in full...)

Tips for changing the timing of my period?

Q.   Right... So basically, im going on holiday on the 1st of August, but im due to be on my period then. I dont want this to ruin my holiday, so i want to dely my period? Im not ready to use a tampon and i dont want to go on birth control.. Does a...

A.   3 June 2012: you can do two things 1) call up your gyno and he will prescribe birth control pills that can change the time of ur period. 2) do use a tampon.... (read in full...)

Does he consider our LDR a genuine relationship or am I on the side?

Q.   Dear Cupid: Am I too paranoid/insecure, or are there some red flags here? Something about this LDR doesn’t sit right with me. After chatting 3 mos. on Facebook, I returned to my home state to meet a guy I went to high school with (-I’m 3 states ...

A.   3 June 2012: From reading ur post carefully, the insight im getting is that he is using you. not for sex obviously. hes using u for emotional support. ur always there for him if he needs someone to talk to, and that boosts up his confidence in case another girl ... (read in full...)

Regretting the offer for her to move to California with me if this is her 'real' personality....

Q.   I have somewhat of a long backstory to my question, and honestly feel extremely immature resorting here, but I would rather the anonymity of the internet than posing these questions to a friend. Anyway - to start, I grew up in Maryland. When ...

A.   16 May 2012: I'm not as confused as you are here buddy. Firstly, it was wrong for her to sleep with you. It was an act of desperation.If it wasn't,she wouldnt have turned into this whole different person. I understand you might not understand this because men ... (read in full...)

Regretting the offer for her to move to California with me if this is her 'real' personality....

Q.   I have somewhat of a long backstory to my question, and honestly feel extremely immature resorting here, but I would rather the anonymity of the internet than posing these questions to a friend. Anyway - to start, I grew up in Maryland. When ...

A.   16 May 2012: I'm not as confused as you are here buddy. Firstly, it was wrong for her to sleep with you. It was an act of desperation.If it wasn't,she wouldnt have turned into this whole different person. I understand you might not understand this because men ... (read in full...)

Online girl told me my intensity was too much and I needed to "dial it back" since we had never met. Why did she have to be mean?

Q.   Recently, I got an American girl interested in me on dating site. She is 31 and half ,I'm 32. She added me on msn messenger and we also talked over the phone once. I expressed my feelings for her and she didn't say loves me but told me that she ...

A.   11 March 2012: I can't stop crying when I see at her picture? = ReallY? SERIOUSLY?/ Do some background research on WESTERN women. You cant expect an american woman to act in the same manner a pakistani girl does. there are significant differences that need to ... (read in full...)

Very deep into a relationship but it's very hard to keep it going and even harder to end it

Q.   We've been together 9 months. She's been living in my house most of the time, where I pretty much pay for everything. She has spoken several times about marriage and expects to be engaged sometime in the next year. I love her, and i like the thou...

A.   10 March 2012: I agree with chocoholicforever and everyone else. Do not go ahead with marriage. I must point out something .... Yes she's dependent on you...but...you are a little proud of yourself that you've "convinced" a 33 yr old to be with you on th... (read in full...)

Is it wrong for me to ask boyfriend what he was doing when he asks if he can call me back?

Q.   This is a small thing, but it's driving me crazy and I need some outside perspective. I am in an LDR and we talk on the phone every night before bed usually for about a half hour to an hour, sometimes longer. We both sometimes have to hang up for ...

A.   9 March 2012: 1) read why men marry bitches 2) NEVER engage in "routine" nighty phone calls. He will soon start seeing you as a CHORE and wont cherish the times with you. which is already happening. SOLUTION change it up. dont be available 100% of the ti... (read in full...)

My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...

A.   9 March 2012: cut the b.s while it is early. theres a saying that people from nothern "colder" countries are also colder...as in you normally expect to hear this from someone in england than spain for example.... U are being very technical about this but l... (read in full...)

Those who were successful in LDR, how did you convince your partner to move closer to you?

Q.   I am in a LDR of 11/2 years. I developed a habit of snooping very early in the relationship which I think is really bad. I have already fallen in love with the guy so it was hard to get rid of him. He does this thing that I have never seen with any ...

A.   9 March 2012: He likes you as a casual,occasional girlfriend he sees on weekends. He enjoys the sex and ur company UP TO A POINT. U cant make him commit, let alone *CONVINCE* him to move closer to you. get out now and find urself a better guy. be proud enough to ... (read in full...)

Do I meet him and let him help me financially to be with him?

Q.   I have no idea how to start, i really have a big dilemma. I recently took a break from college due to some family problems. In this time i have had a lot of spare time on my hands so of course i overkilled the internet. It is at that time that i...

A.   17 February 2012: DO not go to England on your own. suggest he comes see you. if u dont have to spend money on a plane ticket, u will be able to spend some money on ur dates.Not that u need to. its not about finances here,its about manners and courtesy. ur guy wants ... (read in full...)

Too bad to stay. Too good to leave.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been going out for 1 year. I moved in with him 2 weeks into our relationship. We have known each other since we were 13 through mutual friends but didn’t start our relationship until we were in our 20’s. The start of our rel...

A.   31 January 2012: he is your bestfriend but his bestfriend is the drug dealer. did i sum it up for you? if not... in the end stay friends. honestly i dont see how him being your boyfriend can have a positive outlook on you. he wont change. why? in ord... (read in full...)

How can I prove my feelings are real?

Q.   Please help me, I desperately need help and I don't know what to do anymore. I have met the most amazing girl ever. She is kind, thoughtful, sweet, caring, faithful, intelligent, fun..everything that a man could want. We never even argue. What...

A.   26 January 2012: +1 kc100. PLEASE RELAX. IF U CONTINUE PRESSURING HER SHE WILL GET AWAY FROM YOU. GET A PART TIME JOB OR FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES,EXCEL IN THEM AND BUILD A FUTURE FOR YOURSELF. THE KIDS QUESTION IS A REALLY TOUGH ONE....DONT STRESS OVER IT... (read in full...)

Why am I angry with my boyfriend?

Q.   This is a tough one to explain, where do I start. My father was very abusive, controlling and walked all over my mother, and I grew up watching this. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, I am 18 and he is 15 years older than me. Things were ...

A.   25 January 2012: Thanks for your response sweety. Your appreciation caused a big smile on my face :) Stay blessed. good luck! Mucho luv!... (read in full...)

Poor communication, a misunderstanding and so her friends abused me for being late. Should I be aggrieved with her since she was unsupportive to me re abuse by her friends?

Q.   So this is my story. I have always wanted to be with this girl and finally, she agreed. We've been dating for a bit more than a year now. We got our ups and downs but all in all, it was pretty good, except for the fact that it was "just" "pret...

A.   25 January 2012: 100% agree with your decision. she probably wanted to break up with you but didnt know how to tell you. so she made you do this. you sound like a very reasonable person. dont let this bother you.... (read in full...)

What is his problem? He disappears for days and is uncontactable.

Q.   Okay so I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now we get along well AND we understand each other perfectly were even compatible zodiac sign wise ( hes a scorpio AND I'm a Pisces ) and everything is perfect except for the fact that every ...

A.   25 January 2012: dont do anything. wait until he contacts you. then appear aloof. be like "oh heeyyy how have you been"...and if he wants to talk about something, be like "I cant see you tommorow. I have (..).Matter of fact my whole week's schedule looks extremely ... (read in full...)

Why am I angry with my boyfriend?

Q.   This is a tough one to explain, where do I start. My father was very abusive, controlling and walked all over my mother, and I grew up watching this. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, I am 18 and he is 15 years older than me. Things were ...

A.   25 January 2012: STEP 1 get that dog OUT RIGHT NOW. no dog sleeps between a couple. let him sleep at ur feet if anything, OR BETTER in his own bed.this will take time but u can watch 'ITS ME OR THE DOG' online. look up Victoria,the dog trainer. Looks like you need... (read in full...)

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