A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Aunts and uncles! Please help..So I've been seeing a guy for 5 months, I'm 25 and he's 30.. Things are a bit rocky here and there, but today iced the cake. I seen a comment on Facebook and decided to Snoop... I see him address his 38 year old brother as "lil bro" in a comment.. Fast forward, I do a background search. Guy I've been seeing is 43, nearly 44 and not the 30 year old potential I thought I knew. I feel so betrayer and kind of disgusted. I've been laid up with a man 18 years older than me versus the 5 I originally thought. Am I making a big deal of this? I like him, but this makes me feel SO betrayed.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 June 2017):
 I would be furious and I would end it, all trust would be gone for me. You obviously didn't guess his age and he ran along with it, that is just another lie. I would run for the hills!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2017): My neighbour thought I was 28... and I got asked for ID in a pub the other day.. I am 48..... there are people who look much younger than their age and had I said to my neighbour actually I am 30 he would have believed me. Good genes in my family but the main thing is sunblock.... if someone keeps out of the sun and/or has high levels of melanin in the skin, doesn't really abuse and substances or smoke, the skin will retain its youthfulness. Sun is the worst enemy, look at how many leather handbags are walking around due to frying in the sun. A naturally dark skinned man can easily look 20 years younger.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much. When I confronted bhim, he said I just assumed he's 30 and ran with it, which is a complete fabricated lie, who just assumed someone's age and never asks them in all of 5 months.
Youcannot- I'm not sure if you're familiar with the saying "black don't crack" lol, guy looks fabulous for his age.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 Deal breaker! This is a huge lie and you would be a fool to accept this treatment. He has show absolute lack of respect for you.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 18 years is a huge gap. He lied so he could catch a young one!
You can't trust him, regardless of his excuses.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 June 2017):
 I'm a little puzzled how you can not have guessed he was older than he said he was. It's not like there is a LITTLE difference between his implied and actual ages: there is 14 years! I do not know any 44 year olds who would pass for 30 - except with the lights out.
As you admit things are rocky anyway, in your shoes I would be giving this guy his marching orders and telling him to go and find someone his own age.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (22 June 2017):
 Oh yes, its a big deal alright!!! You have every right to be upset and feel betrayed. Like the other aunts have said, the first thing that comes to mind is "what else did he lie about?" Wife? Ex-wife? Kids? Who knows???
This would be a deal breaker for me. I can sort of understand someone fudging their age by 2-3 years and then coming clean, but 18 years? He didn't confess either, you had to snoop to find out. I don't think he's a keeper hun..throw him back into the water and find another fish!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2017):
 I totally agree, that IS a HUGE deal.
He should have either COME clean BEFORE getting intimate with you or at the VERY least before getting into a relationship with you.
Like there other ladies mentioned if he lied about his age, what ELSE did he lie about? And not only that, he probably guessed that you were NOT looking for a "daddy figure" to date so he figured he would "just" lie to you and once you were dating and sleeping together You wouldn't mind. But... he was WRONG.
LYING about his age is not only disrespectful towards you but it's also treating like you are a kid who doesn't NEED to know the truth and THINK/DECIDE for yourself.
An 18 year age gap is a LOT compared to a 5 year. While I normally don't have a problem with age gaps (each to their own) the LYING to my face would be a deal breaker.
I too would be pissed off.
YOU have to decide if 18 years is TOO much and whether being LIED too is a no-go. And then act accordingly.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 June 2017):
 That is a MASSIVE deal! This guy lied his way into your life and into your bed. What else is he lying about? Is he married? Is he a sex offender? How can you know, now that it's proven that he's willing to carry on such a profound lie for a length of time.
You live in the US? Look him in the eye and ask for his driver's license. When he balks and asks why, ask him what his date of birth is. Someone telling the truth can rattle it off immediately, while someone lying about their age usually has to hesitate to calculate things like high school graduation years (Class of '05, Class of '18, Class of '91 or '92, which would be him!).
However the conversation comes out, the fact that the guy is that much of a liar would be a big dealbreaker to me. 14 year age difference?? And he had sex with you while lying to you? Strike out.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 June 2017):
 This IS a big deal. Apparently if you had known that he was 18 uears older than you, you would not have given him a chance, or at least you would have thought long abd hard befire taking up with him. He knew or imagined that, so he fised the problem his way, by a lie. He gets the girl he wants- but you do not get the kind of man you wanted, i.e. a man in a certain age range, which he instead exceeds.
I am sure some people will tell you " oh age is just a number ", and I agree, on a case by case basis ; but that's not the point, if he is young enough for you or not. The point is that his lie took away your freedom of choice, your freedom to decide, " Ok, he is older than ideal, but I can deal with it " or else " No way, -dealbreaker ".
In this light he is as bad as a married man telling you that he is single because he knows that otherwise you would not put out for him. This is not an innocuous little white lie, said out of vanity - this is a scam, and if you feel angry and betrayed - it figures !, I don't know how else you should feel.
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