His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?
Q. I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...
A. 13 March 2019: OP again: We had a FaceTime conversation tonight. At first he said he would have a kid if I moved there, and then he said a string of negative things about how it's a sacrifice and take up all his time. Finally when I pressed him, he admitted he ... (read in full...)
His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?
Q. I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...
A. 13 March 2019: OP again: We had a FaceTime conversation tonight. At first he said he would have a kid if I moved there, and then he said a string of negative things about how it's a sacrifice and take up all his time. Finally when I pressed him, he admitted he ... (read in full...)
I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?
Q. My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...
A. 16 January 2017: I was just on Cuba and there is a lot of fear of being caught. It's way easier to get a Hooker in Vegas for example.
That aside, why do you think he's going to cheat? Has he been unfaithful? Did he make reference to it?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is sending me screenshots about him cheating! Help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years now. He has a kid with another girl. I love him so much and thought he was the one until tonight whenI got a bunch of screenshots of texts from his kid's mom about them hooking up. Apparently they ...
A. 19 October 2015: Any chance she's sending you screen grabs from texts when they were actually together ? Or do they have the current date on them?... (read in full...)
Is it more romantic to be proposed to in a public or a private place?
Q. Just wondering if some ladies (or gentleman) can help me out . Do you think it's more romantic If you were proposed to in private verses a public place. I've been thinking about asking my girlfriend to marry me but I want to include her daug...
A. 13 October 2015: I would ask her in private and then have the family waiting in the wings to immediately celebrate. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to still be so angry and hurt? Why can't I forget?
Q. Well nearly a year after the split I'm still angry and hurt that my friend went off with my ex behind my back. I have tried to do all the things I should do - like no contact and blocking off social media - but it still hurts and I still ha...
A. 24 September 2015: If you can get yourself to believe that its truly better the universe made it so these two people would be out of your lives. It sounds like they are not the most upstanding people - the way they handled this or the fact they could even do it in the ... (read in full...)
Week of partying while telling me he's done with it all.
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles ... Would anyone be ok with their 47 year old boyfriend of 3 Years going out 6 nights in one week. One night was with me, another was at a local pool hall , other nights were clubs. 2 of those nights were 6AM nights ! I ange...
A. 25 February 2015: Thank you. Will check out al-anon.
I am so sad that he can't live up to his own promises of stopping the party lifestyle for a more meaningful one
... (read in full...)
Banned at work! Romantic relationships, what to do?
Q. I work at a place where romantic relationships between employees are banned. I know this woman there, we've both been there for many many years, been friends all this time. I know she has a romantic attraction for me and I am attracted as well. We ...
A. 27 February 2014: No one at work has to know. Tell no one. Most businesses say it to cover there own butts from sexual harassment lawsuits - but it should not stop you too from living a happier life - together. ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how or where a 47 year old women can find suitable men to date?
Q. Hi, I'm wondering how or where a 47 year old women can find suitable men to date? I've been alone for over 16 years - no dates, no sex, no prospects. When my children were younger, I used to go to the "weekend daddy" places -Chucky Cheese, ...
A. 10 February 2014: How about a dating site directed for marriage ? Christian Mingle or e harmony?... (read in full...)
I want to just spend time with my boyfriend and not do other things. I know this isn't healthy!
Q. So I'm in a relatively new relationship. Met him in May, began dating in August and have officially been in a relationship since November. Here's the thing I completely adore him! I was with my ex for 6 years and during the majority of that ...
A. 30 January 2014: This happens early in relationships - I wouldn't worry ... But just fall out of touch with everyone. As the relationship progresses - you will fall back into normal patterns and he may need more space.... (read in full...)
My BF wants me to go to the same college he does, but that's a ways off and I can't say yes.
Q. My boyfriend has asked me if I would go to the same college as him I'm 17 he's 17 and I don't want to say yes because I feel like college is a time for me to be free ad explore and I love him I really do but recently he asked me if I would marry him ...
A. 27 January 2014: If its easier , blame it on your parents. Go to a college of your choice. A LOT changes in college. Can you imagine if you went to his college just for him and then you guys broke up and you're miserable there because it's not what YOU wanted.
T... (read in full...)
Any sayings that make you feel better after a breakup?
Q. Hi, Has anyone got any good sayings that make you feel better and help forget, get over a relationship that is or hasn't worked out? For example, I saw a good one "If you are left wondering were you are stood, it's time to stop standing and sta...
A. 18 December 2013: "the best revenge is a life well lived - without that person!"... (read in full...)
Went through boyfriends phone and found messages to other girls. Is this cheating?
Q. My bf and I have been going out for almost 7 months now. I've never gone through his stuff before but he left his phone behind today and I got curious. I honestly wasn't expecting anything, maybe just a couple messges from his girl-friends. Wha...
A. 20 November 2013: You're worried he's getting bored at 7 months?!? He shouldn't be.
And if he's On tinder - that's a hookup site. He's not
Committed to you. at the very least keeping his options open... (read in full...)
Sex is the best ever but boyfriend is treating me badly! Do I leave or stay for the sex?
Q. Hello everyone. I am in a really hard situation and it is eating away at me emotionally. I am in a relationship with a guy who I care about very much. The relationship is 6 months old although I had known him for a year before that. He has s...
A. 15 November 2013: I understand how you feel. Completely. I have been in a situation with a guy who is also emotionally unavailable at times. I see previous posters saying they haven't heard you describe anything bad - but I understand it's not always tangible. You ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have hair there? How do I tell her?
Q. I'm 26 years old and I have been with my girlfriend who is 24 for 5 months now and we are a stage of absolute relaxation around each other, she is the most amazing person I have ever been with, she is so kind, she is caring, she is funny and just ...
A. 25 October 2013: She should not shave this area! It will grow back and be prickly. Waxing only!!
(and I'm sure she knows it's there. And you should NOT say anything - unless it was a general conversation about waxing vs shaving). ... (read in full...)
Is it usual for guy 1 to ask about other dates?
Q. Hi, another internet dating question. If you are talking to more than one guy, is it usual for guy 1 to ask you if you've got any other dates lined up? Basically guy 1 chatted to me for ages, and when I asked to meey.him he ssid he would if he w...
A. 25 October 2013: I have used online dating and my initial gut reaction is Guy #1 is one of those married or already committed men who use dating sites to boost their ego or test the waters before they leave. Of course, it's just a hunch.
However what I DO know ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have hair there? How do I tell her?
Q. I'm 26 years old and I have been with my girlfriend who is 24 for 5 months now and we are a stage of absolute relaxation around each other, she is the most amazing person I have ever been with, she is so kind, she is caring, she is funny and just ...
A. 25 October 2013: hair "there" IS very common. In fact, Go for any Brazilian bikini wax and they have a special "back strip" just for that.
... (read in full...)
Broke up... feeling sad. Thoughts? Advice?
Q. My boyfriend, of 3 years, and I broke up Sunday night. We're both the same age and don't live together, but spent weekends together and any days during the week if we found time. We were a serious couple and had talked about children and settling ...
A. 25 October 2013: In times like this - I have sent an email with all my feelings of love. Exactly what you said here - minus the blame game. IF you are sure you want to try again - put pride aside and say "I don't want to break up but maybe we just need a break". ... (read in full...)
If he is who he says he is then I'm definitely interested
Q. I'm a smart, successful, attractive woman in my 30s, and, even though I have very progressive, healthy attitudes towards dating and sex, I can't help but feel a bit like an idiot. I went out with a man I met online last weekend who was new to the ...
A. 24 October 2013: I've learned over the years and sadly - you set the stage early with guys. You either fall into a category - friend, sex or GF. Of course there are exceptions but sex on a first date usually deadens the relationship to just sex. Sorry. He probably ... (read in full...)
Ex is telling embarrassing personal details!
Q. My ex from 5 years started telling people about 2 years ago some very personal information of mine. Why he is doing this I don't know but I am horrified to the point where I can't stop thinking about it. We have had no contact now for years and I ...
A. 24 October 2013: You care because it's normal to care about what others think of us.
However , put your mind at ease. Most people will view him as a bitter ex by the mere fact that he's talking negatively about an ex. It's just not classy and most people w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves me but is constantly on Facebook and has messages from other women on his phone.
Q. So my Boyfriend of 6 months that loves me to death and worships the ground I walk on is constantly on FacebooK. I actually Deactivated my account because of him. I just got tired of constantly seeing him on there... So tonight when he was checking...
A. 8 September 2013: He is disrespecting you. Not the women. You are not in a relationship with them. I would say - have one calm conversation about it with him and tell him you find it upsetting. Ask how he would feel if you were messaging with other men and calling ... (read in full...)
Help with boyfriend please. He's been increasingly distant, with no contact for past 5 days.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's 35 and I'm 31. We don't live together but see each other a few times a week and will stay over at the other's house on the weekends. Things the last 6 months or so have been so horrible. We basicall...
A. 2 September 2013: Sounds like he is done - but after 3 years - he owes you a face to face breakup. You can send him an email to that effect. Say you are assuming its just not working anymore and want a peaceful resolution. Closure.
Good luck. I know this is hard... (read in full...)
My husband's comment about "you women" made me immediately think he's cheating!
Q. I have suspected for months that things have been going on at my husband's place of work although of course he has strongly denied as he really has too much to lose. However, we were about to go to bed for sex the other evening and it was cold so ...
A. 31 May 2013: It COULD be that his sexual interest is peaked at work by someone and he has fantasized there about going into the woods ... But it could be a fantasy (not actual cheating) and now he's trying to involve you in it. As for the change in sex drive - ... (read in full...)
My husband's comment about "you women" made me immediately think he's cheating!
Q. I have suspected for months that things have been going on at my husband's place of work although of course he has strongly denied as he really has too much to lose. However, we were about to go to bed for sex the other evening and it was cold so ...
A. 31 May 2013: Hmmm that does seem a bit suspicious - however - its possible he's remembering women from his youth, or he recently saw this on a TV show, or a buddy complained that his wife/girlfriend always does this - and it was on his mind? While I believe ... (read in full...)
I need advise in how to stay away from this Dr. Jeckell & Mr. Hyde that I love!
Q. Hi, I have been reading past advice on this website on dealing with dating an Italian man. Thank you. I sure could use some more support and advice. I haven't seen him in 30 days and I'm trying to stay away from him. We have been dating for sixteen ...
A. 28 January 2013: If you've already gone 30 days - keep up the no contact! Delete his # from your phone - don't answer or text back. I have dated Italian men from Italy and I know exactly what you are talking about. In general, the ones I dated fed off drama and ... (read in full...)
I assume he is a swinger!
Q. Given that I am not too familiar with Twitter, is it possible to accidentally "follow" someone? I ask because I noticed that a guy I like is following a swingers club. It's only the one, and all the other stuff is famous people, rock bands, etc. ...
A. 27 January 2013: He could just be curious or maybe he likes the idea of the lifestyle and wants to know / understand more. I'd bring it up in a general non judgemental way. ... (read in full...)
I have trust issues with my BF after he sexted his ex on Facebook
Q. Hello all! i have a question about my partner. It's been a rocky road for us but he moved in in november 2012. A week after i discovered messages to his ex lovers, not one but a few, which angered and hurt me immensely. He reminisced about their se...
A. 27 January 2013: Dump him. He is being so disrespectful to you and your relationship. You should feel like number one. ... (read in full...)
Despicable actions by him in the past. So do I try to forget that? And see him again? Or say NO to him?
Q. My ex constantly said he slept with my sister whenever we would argue. He would do this because he knew that would destroy me and knew that my sister and I were very close. I confronted my sister she denied it and no longer speaks to me. As...
A. 28 December 2012: Do not get back together with a guy who messes with your family. He is not a person of substance and he's toying with your emotions.
You deserve so much better!... (read in full...)
Rejected during exclusive conversation? No hope?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for six weeks. We were hanging out every single day for a month. He took me on dates, etc. We slept together one month in and then we had a fight and it's been weird ever since. Tonight I asked him where we stood and he s...
A. 6 October 2012: So gemz88 and other responders - do you all agree that it's not too soon or odd to have this initial talk after six weeks - having spent 4 to 5 days a week together and talking/texting every day?
He tired to make me feel like a crazy woman for brin... (read in full...)
Rejected during exclusive conversation? No hope?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for six weeks. We were hanging out every single day for a month. He took me on dates, etc. We slept together one month in and then we had a fight and it's been weird ever since. Tonight I asked him where we stood and he s...
A. 5 October 2012: Thank you for your answers. We only had sex once and it WILL NOT be happening again now that I have gotten that answer.
His response was "we've had sex once and you're trying to have the boyfriend/girlfriend talk?" (which discounts the entire s... (read in full...)
Am I just being paranoid about his strange phone behaviors or is there something to worry about here? And how would a normal person react to this?
Q. Earlier tonight I asked my husband to see his phone to hear a voicemail his brother had left. It seemed like he was going through some things and pressing a lot of buttons before handing me his phone. I am a paranoid person and I think I suffer from ...
A. 15 September 2012: Couldn't they be work related calls?... (read in full...)
Without advertising how can my wife and I find another couple who might like to play? But not full sex.
Q. My wife and I would like to experiment playing with another couple. Not ready for full blown sex, nor oral sex even. We have also talked about MFF like this, or her doing stuff w another guy, but again no penetration or oral. There is no way we w...
A. 15 August 2012: If you live near a major city there are probably swinger parties. Some are higher end and you have to be screened first. You and your wife can just go to look and you will meet like minded couples. You don't have to do anything there. ... (read in full...)
Long distance stringing along?
Q. Met a guy 6 months ago, he knew I was moving West in a few months he fell in lone with me and I fell for him too. We spent 4 months together every night then I left for Nevada. We are 1700 miles apart he calls or web cam daily, says he misses me ...
A. 8 August 2012: Are you sure the FB wall is filtered? How do you know the exes can't see what you write?
In this case - I say go with your gut and break up with him. You said you are looking to trap him in a lie - because you know it's there - you just can't put ... (read in full...)
We had a very emotional and nasty breakup and haven't spoken since.
Q. My ex-girlfriend and I dated inconsistently for over three years. We also lived together for most of that time period. Throughout that time period, we had some rocky times, but also some amazing ones. However, the major problems were her twin ...
A. 1 August 2012: You deserve better. Someone who will make you number one!
Good riddance. Don't contact her again. And she will come crawling back when it doesn't work out with this other guy. But you should not sit around and wait. Find someone who thinks y... (read in full...)
I get depressed going out and seeing children that I'll never have so now I don't want to go out!
Q. I am late thirties. Whenever I go to a mall or wherever and see couples and families with children out together I get this tight sensation in my chest and I feel rock bottom sad that it didn't happen for me, as I never married or had children. I ...
A. 29 July 2012: I am 34 and was feeling the same exact way when I would see babies - happy couples. I was with a boyfriend who didn't want kids or to settle down. It was almost painful when a coworker would announce their pregnancy. That was 3 months ago.
One d... (read in full...)
I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 26 July 2012: I would not ask her to pay half directly. It would be a huge turnoff.
But I would drop a hint like "I've been spending so much (in general) " and then ask her on a picnic or a free event. If she likes you she will get the hint. Personal... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is perfect and makes me happy yet I'm constantly insecure that he would cheat on me
Q. Hi, Im 19 and about two years ago i met a guy and a year later we started dating. He's only my second relationship in my entire life. Everything is great, he's so sweet, he's soo good looking but here's the proublem, he's 1,243 miles away. This has ...
A. 23 July 2012: You have to realize that if a guy as young as he is - 1200 miles away - is making the effort to text, call and Skype you EVERY day - his heart is IN it. He is making that choice to be with you. Take that as the truest sign - actions speak the ... (read in full...)
I didn't let him touch me and now he's ignoring me. Did I handle the situation wrong?
Q. I met this guy at the weekend who I know through mutual friends and we went on a first date in the week. The drinks were flowing and we were having a smashing time, it was like the night should never have ended. I felt so comfortable. Anyway he ...
A. 14 July 2012: Sounds line he wanted sex - you didn't deliver - he's done because he wasn't interested in a relationship or really dating.
And if you had had sex - it would likely be the same outcome. He wouldn't have called. Sounds like he was looking for a one ... (read in full...)
I am worried that a re-organized date could ruin my chances with her.
Q. Hi Guys, I met a girl ( 26 ) online and we emailed and chatted on the phone for 4 weeks before meeting up. The 1 st date was fantastic, market date then extended to a game of pool where she bet a kiss on the result of one game and me cookin...
A. 13 July 2012: When I really like a guy - it doesn't matter what we do on a 3rd date. I'm going to get to know him more.
And if she offered it - I say it's fine. Relax and enjoy!... (read in full...)
How do I get this new man in my life to open up to me?
Q. My question is how do I get my bf to open his life to me? We have been dating almost 2 months and we have mutually agreed to only date eachother, we are sexually active and he pretty much drives to see me 6 out 7 days of the week. He lives an hour ...
A. 11 July 2012: Google the name he gave you.
Go to switchboard dot com and hit "reverse search". Put in his phone number and see what pops up.
And flat out tell him that you want to come over or that you suspect he's married or with another woman and that t... (read in full...)
How do I get this new man in my life to open up to me?
Q. My question is how do I get my bf to open his life to me? We have been dating almost 2 months and we have mutually agreed to only date eachother, we are sexually active and he pretty much drives to see me 6 out 7 days of the week. He lives an hour ...
A. 10 July 2012: What ?! 2 months and he won't tell you were he lives?? BIG red flag. I would tell him that is really weird and makes you concerned. If he gets defensive - then you know for sure something is very wrong. Have you found his address online? ... (read in full...)
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