I'm obsessed with the man I had a little bit of fun with, 16 years ago!
Q. This is really weird. So, some 16 years ago, I had a one night stand with this acquaintance - we traveled together to a new city with a group of friends and stayed in the same house. I was relatively sexually inexperienced and socially inept. The ...
A. 1 December 2017: 1) You are drowning. The worst mistake you could make is to tense up and fight it.
2) Don't fight "it". Embrace it.
3) Yes, at the end of the day, the other aunts and uncles will turn out to have been right, but right now, this 'thing' for you ... (read in full...)
I like a guy but he seems to prefer a slimmer girl, do I have a chance?
Q. Been working at Starbucks for about a year now, it's right next to my uni business school. There's a guy who's been coming in for the last few months and is pretty lush hehe, blond, blue eyes, muscular and wears our uni rugby T shirt, he's rly tall ...
A. 28 November 2017: Well, considering how you're into this "really tall" thing... are you attached? Would you consider dropping a boyfriend for this "really tall" beau?
Have you got other guys in your periphery that you flirt with too?
If so, then you've estab... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about why he doesn't make eye contact during sex?
Q. Eye contact during sex? My husband usually turns his head away from me or closes his eyes. I dont remember having a problem with it years ago... but recently he holds me close with my head buried in his neck and almost forcibly stops me from bei...
A. 27 November 2017: I'm personally not into fantasizing about other things or people during sex. I find masturbation loads better suited for that.
if you say he urges you not to move... a different angle that I can think of is that I'd usually do that, i.e. breaking... (read in full...)
Can I ever make this right?
Q. I'm 38 year old guy. A year back my younger brother wife became close to me and we got too closer. Initially i thought she is giving this attention just due to the respect towards an elder brother. I loved it. But finally she was treating me like ...
A. 25 November 2017: Had I been in your shoes, I'm pretty sure I would not have found the strength to do better. So many times life has thumbed its nose at me when I was damned that I did *not*. But guess what, when I did or tried to, life still thumbed its nose a... (read in full...)
Am I missing something here? He asked for my number but never called!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 22 y/o female from Memphis, TN .. ? I recently got close with this guy that I work with .. We talk, laugh, and joke .. He even gave me a little cute nickname. At first I wasn't really into it, but then I started to really enjoy th...
A. 24 November 2017: I don't really see evidence from your post to indicate that he was hoping for a quickie before you left, or anything like that. He's not interested. That's for certain. What you are missing: you must have been convinced that your note was 'su... (read in full...)
Does he even like me? Or is it all in my head?
Q. So I met a guy a year ago at my mothers work and he and I got along very well we had an instant connection. We grew our friendship for a while and then he left for college about 2 hours away. When he left his mom asked me to plan him a graduation ...
A. 24 November 2017: I agree with A_Simple_Girl and Carmine's baby 123, if you've got that girl in you then you could straight out ask him, otherwise, just be yourself or work on finding out who you are.
I'm sure though that had it been me, after the "I think we shoul... (read in full...)
I like her but I'm confused
Q. So me and this girl have been talking for quite a while now. I didn't want to rush into anything and we like eachother lots but I don't know i'm confused about it.I really like her but on the other hand, I feel like i'm not good enough for her. I'm ...
A. 24 November 2017: I don't know why, your post reminds me of... Do you happen by any chance to listen to LP's 'Lost on You' kind of music? If tomorrow she suddenly stopped speaking to you, would you ask her "Why did you suddenly stop speaking to me?"... Woul... (read in full...)
I'm 19 he's 16 and I'm worried about what people would think if we dated
Q. ok, I'm 19 and I became friends with a boy whos 16 years old and I notice that i started to get feelings for him a little bit so i tried to put it to the back of my mind and ignore it, but recently he admitted that he has feelings for me which is ...
A. 24 November 2017: Look, we do not know what you know about him, and you are in the best position to understand what kind of guy he is that makes you be attracted to him.
You did not come here saying that you think he's too young for you. It sounds more like you... (read in full...)
I love her, but can't say it out loud!
Q. i knew this girl for 3 months now and we are getting along so well, i love everything about her and i feel like home when i'm with her. we match to each other and have the same frequency. i'm a great listener and i love to listen to her speak. ...
A. 24 November 2017: I've been in your shoes dude. Lots of guys have been in your shoes. In less than 10 years' time you'll realize that all of what you are saying, "i love everything about her and i feel like home when i'm with her. we match to each other and ... (read in full...)
How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?
Q. After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...
A. 10 November 2017: Right now, you must be feeling like *everything* you've ever believed in has always been a lie. If you keep wondering how can she do this, why would she do that... the 'game' will be playing you. If we want to stand a chance of getting ahead of... (read in full...)
Still missing the X-Factor... what does he have that I dont?
Q. I might drive a Mercedes Benz, and he does not. I might hold a degree, have been to business school, and he does not and hasn't. Well before I perceived her as a love interest, I stepped in to fill in gaps regarding her father figure in life. ...
A. 5 November 2017: @N91, "Are women supposed to be falling at your feet because you drive a Mercedes and have a degree?" I'm sorry, English is not my first language, and in my learning of English, my usage of "might" (twice) is the operative word that answers ... (read in full...)
Is she ready for a new relationship?
Q. There is one girl I know her from Facebook at that time I was in my country we kept texting and everything was fine her bf just left her from few months ago and went to U.K. At the beginning she told me she is not ready yet I told her I won’t force ...
A. 4 November 2017: I agree with N91. You should not be allowing this to be done to you. She's slowly transferring whatever burdens her ego about her boyfriend's leaving onto you. I can't help feeling that she'll dump you when she's 'functional' again, and ha... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should ask a colleague out
Q. I'm 26 and have been single for around 7--8 months now since splitting with my gf of 3 yrs. I found that break up hard and I'm unsure if I want a new relationship. However I've only been with 2 girls in my whole life and I'm desperate to "get out ...
A. 4 November 2017: Friend, You are not currently in an enviable state of mind. That's no excuse for not asking girls out. Forget about moping about, feeling sorry for yourself, giving yourself time to heal... those are just excuses to delay getting into Action. ... (read in full...)
Why did this woman pass such a comment on my 'almost' boyfriend?
Q. Hello. I'm a fitness model and I train at a studio with my friend who is also my trainer. We've just got involved together outside a business relationship. There's this other girl who he also trains. She's been with him almost as long as I hav...
A. 28 October 2017: If I were in your shoes, I'd ask myself "What's the most that I have to 'fear' about what she said?"
I'd say that in the worst case, most of the information that her 'message' bore was not meant for *you*, but for *him*.
That would be her way... (read in full...)
A guy keeps sending me mixed signals.
Q. Last month I met a guy, he's a friend's(F1) friend's(F2) friend.. We were a few girls and him. We had dinner and drank alcohol so we were all kinda drunk. F1 would continuously tell me that she feels like this guy is coming on to me really strongly ...
A. 28 October 2017: Maybe you can ask yourself, "Am I the only girl whom he keeps 'guessing' the way he keeps me 'guessing'?"
My guess is, with the waiting-"three days"-before-texting-you-for-some-books thing, and, using F1 and F2 to ask about you... he's working ... (read in full...)
Has my husband gone off me
Q. Hello I have a problem with my husband never wanting sex anymore we have been together 6 years and married just over a year ago and now have two children together.in the beginning we were sex maniacs and he couldn't get enough of me now he never ...
A. 28 October 2017: "I know people say it gets less in time but I feel so unwanted"
You do have the knowledge. That's great.
If you were on a Best Wife in The World pageant, and were asked the question, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the level of 'cr... (read in full...)
Why would he say "I love you" if he has no intention of changing his life for you?
Q. If a married man you've been involved in a long term relationship with tells you he loves you, could he really mean it, even if he will never leave his wife to be with you? It's a terrible predicament to be in when you realize you now love this ma...
A. 28 October 2017: "he set you up to fail from the beginning because he never had intentions of becoming serious with you"
Did *you* "from the beginning" know for certain that you "had intentions of becoming serious with [him]"?
If he had not made the choice ... (read in full...)
Why am I still dreaming about my ex even though I'm in a loving relationship
Q. I went out with a girl for a brief period 9 months ago. Although she ended it only after 3 months of dating I was crushed. I honestly felt deeply in love with her and she admitted early on that she was in love with me too. We didn't have a bad break ...
A. 25 October 2017: Make sure that, unlike me, you do not confuse 'lingering love' with phobia, aka Fear Of Missing Out. And instead of 'just move on', I'd tell you, Look back over the break-up... was something about it too sudden? too brutal, as in totally against ... (read in full...)
She takes more than she gives and I know part of the problem is her low self-esteem!
Q. Hi, when I told my girlfriend that I love her she replied, for the first time, that she does as well, although she doesn't know if it's really love. She justified this with saying that she discussed the matter with her mom and when her mother asked ...
A. 21 October 2017: I'm with Honeypie on this one. 200%.
Going by what transpires through your post, it sounds to me like you're a placeholder boyfriend for her. She's letting you think she's got low self-esteem but has plans for doing better than 'you' when the time... (read in full...)
Feeling the pain but finding it hard to let go
Q. Hi, I went through an extremely bad breakup lately and it has left me reeling worse than any other breakup and has shaken my confidence, as well as my desire to date. But the worst is that I still contain feelings for the girl even though she did ...
A. 20 October 2017: You are not alone. You are not the only one. Hang in there man. Make of what I will tell you next what you will, but for the past fifteen years, not a minute has gone by when I have not missed my 'the one that got away' too. You know that s... (read in full...)
Feeling the pain but finding it hard to let go
Q. Hi, I went through an extremely bad breakup lately and it has left me reeling worse than any other breakup and has shaken my confidence, as well as my desire to date. But the worst is that I still contain feelings for the girl even though she did ...
A. 14 September 2017: Try this... take this post of yours, for as long as it takes, focus on only one thing: rework, rephrase, trim down to the point that you are eventually satisfied a third party has every piece of *strictly* necessary *information* to help you; that ... (read in full...)
Letting things go and agreeing to disagree
Q. How do you agree to disagree with your partner. We had a conversation the other day and he said something which he is down right refusing to admit to. I know he said it as it was the last thing he said. I know its not the end of the world but i have ...
A. 25 August 2017: Ok, Philosophy 101, loosely quoting John Holbo: 'if two people are to have a discussion that is worth their time, they have to start by agreeing on something' Starting point: neither you nor your beau is deaf, so you both know the exact words that... (read in full...)
My ex is contacting me again, what should I do?
Q. My ex and I had a messy break up. I got drunk, was upset and got into some trouble and ended up in hospital. I called my ex and left a message to say I was in hospital. She never came and I never heard from her. I ended up needing surgery. Year...
A. 25 August 2017: Only you can decide if it's worth your time, or if you've got better things to do.
My guess, since you're asking about it on dearcupid.org then if you consider that contact with her, say, as an acquaintance, helps you learn something new, som... (read in full...)
I feel directionless, as if my life is the same thing, over and over.
Q. This is sort of relationship question. Relationship with oneself. I feel stupid for feeling so low and for needing advice on how to find happiness after 40. I just never thought I'd feel this bad. Age and looks were never the problem for me. I...
A. 22 August 2017: I could say that I feel this way too about my own life: it did not turn out the way that I had thought. That being intelligent and bright and brilliant, it couldn't turn out otherwise than that I'd have a great career that would build itself by just ... (read in full...)
I like her a lot, she's gone cold, what can I do that wont mess it up?
Q. Met this awesome girl online, we hit it off immediately, we had a ton in common, both artists, both geeks, and into the same games. I asked her out and we had a great time at an arcade. we did a ton of art collabs together, played games together and ...
A. 22 August 2017: You might as well tell yourself this:
The ease with which she told you that she had had a 'booty call' indicates that where you are thinking that you were living something totally special with her, she's done all that and probably more with, sa... (read in full...)
We've fallen out over nothing. What do I do?
Q. I've been hanging out with this girl for the past 2 months(i know im slow). We have a pretty good friendship and I could tell it was heading towards a relationship. We had an awesome couple of days planned(aka dates) and basically we broke down and ...
A. 19 August 2017: Call her. Once.
If she does pick up, talk about her holidays, talk about the adventures she's posted on Instagram. Leave it to her to bring up the 'race' plan which she ought to know you are waiting for her response about.... (read in full...)
My husband is unaffectionate
Q. My husband literally acts like I'm invisible he never hugs/kisses me or shows me any love at all. I've asked him over and over what's wrong or whether he still loves me he just says that he does love me yet never changes. I even asked him if h...
A. 18 August 2017: Well, you can start with stop living for someone to hug/kiss or show you any love at all. Ask yourself, I'm close to half-way through my life expectancy. Being married notwithstanding, who is the best *Me* that Life calls me to be at this point in... (read in full...)
What is the point of this relationship? Unbiased advice requested!
Q. I am so angry and upset. I am honestly considering if the better option is to just walk away from my five year relationship. I am really sorry but this is going to be quite long. I need some advice, or just pointed in the right direction. I wis...
A. 18 August 2017: Lady, Nature knows no need for a reason, as long as she produces Life. One form of Life is your beau, and the defining characteristic that our human brains (correctly) see in his type is "Narcissistic Emotional Abuser". The reason why he is an emo... (read in full...)
I feel guilty for having feelings for my wife's sister!
Q. I am very happily married but I think I love my wife's sister. She is married to my friend who has changed over the years and treats her terrible. We were always close but now she confides in me all the time. She is always hugging me and rubbing my ...
A. 18 August 2017: *hats-off and bows to the advice that YouCannotBeSerious offers* As thefilthycritic said when he rated 'City of God': "Pretty Damn Fucking Good!" Ask yourself, what does your Sister-In-Law really want out of 'this'? My money is on that s... (read in full...)
Why is this former FWB guy contacting me?
Q. Why would a guy clearly delete my number and then pop up asking for it again? Hi, so I'm currently 18 and last year me and my guyfriend of nearly two years had sex. He took my virginity and we had sex a few times but as friends. I know, I should'v...
A. 13 August 2017: "I don't believe that for a second, knowing him, he deleted it in an attempt to delete me from his life."
In other words, he had done exactly what any of the aunts and uncles here would have advised him to do had he come here for advice about mi... (read in full...)
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