A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I just want to know a thinkg ....my bf is a kind not intrstd in marriage he just says we will be in relationship for how long we can be.and if I say love he just says thank you...wat does it mean...I INA confused statsle now..should I finish this relationship or not?
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female
reader, Tia Maria  +, writes (20 June 2017):
Not everyone believes in marriage-do YOU want to get married in the future? It sounds like he does want a relationship, just that he doesn't really believe in getting married-do you really love him? Is being in a relationship with him more important to you than having a marriage certificate? and will this change if you have children by him? how does he feel about having kids in the future? As for the thankyou comment,it sounds like he's just joking around with you, or perhaps he doesn't love you yet but likes you and feels he could grow to love you eventually-if you notice a pattern of him always teasing you with nasty undertones to it, then this is cause for concern but otherwise I wouldn't read into it too much,if the relationship is happy otherwise, then give him a few months and see if he starts to say I love you- as for the marriage thing, bear in mind that he may eventually change his mind about this as he gets older, especially if you guys have been together for years.Don't waste your time though, if getting married is an absolute must for you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2017): Well I guess the real question is what kind are you? Are you the kind of person who wants to be married? Because if you are then you are not withh the person for you. If you don't care about getting married, and can handle a relationship where he hasn't said I love you, then you can wait to see how things turn out.
But based on this question I would say that you are in relationship with a guy who is not for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2017): If your emphasis is constantly on marriage, perhaps he hasn't committed as much; because he's not on the same page as you. He may not want to lead you on before he feels exactly the same about you. Obviously, he's not there yet.
Knowing what I know about your culture; he better not say he loves you until he knows his parents (particularly his mother) loves you. For all you know, his wife has already been picked-out for him; and he just hasn't revealed this to you. He only may be on a venture to determine if he can find love on his own; or dating to see what he can experience in life, before the day comes he must settle-down.
Just maybe he knows the words should not be said before you really mean them.
Young people have to learn how to iron-out disagreements, practice how to compromise, and come together to tackle problems together to see how strong they are as a couple.
Let me tell you something young lady, you have much to learn about independence, how to survive a fluctuating economy, and prepare for an uncertain future as a woman. This means learning to survive on your own. Pressing some guy to say I love you or you'll dump him is just psychological-blackmail.
Let things flow naturally, and see if you actually feel that he does; then you have every right to expect to hear those words. Not just hear your echo when you say it. I am going to take some time to give you the benefit of my wisdom.
It's not about how often, or if, he says "I love you." It's more important if he means it. If he demonstrates his feelings; he doesn't really have to say it. Know why? Because you'll know it already in your heart. At your age, love is more idealistic than it is real. The word marriage should be a foreign word in the mind of someone under 21 years of age. Most 25 year-old's are still figuring what the hell they want to do with their lives.
At your age, you should be having fun. Getting educated. Making friends, and choosing your career. Not centering your life and thoughts around some dummy you're trying to squeeze the words "I love you out" of. If he hasn't said it, it's because he isn't ready to, or probably never will.
I am now in a relationship that is now reaching the 4 year-mark. I was six-months in, before I could come to say I loved him. I've had a prior-relationship lasting 28 years. I think I'd know what love is. I've had plenty of time to figure it out. Then got even more practice once my first passed-away; and left me on my own to find it again.
Now about the present person in my life. I wanted to know him. I wanted to see all phases of his moods, hear him express his opinions on things, see how much we share in-common, and in what ways we differ. I wanted to know what values we share. He said he loved me first. Well, I did everything I could to give him reasons to care for me before he did. I also wanted to be sure when he said it, he had enough time to mean it. Well, I said it when my heart was so full of it that it spilled out of my mouth, and I couldn't hold-back the words. This man is such a sweet and loving human being, he is consistent, adorable, and he would give you the shirt of his back. When I said it, he knew/knows I meant it. I don't throw the L-word around just to hear myself say it. You will know more with time and experience.
You can't just expect those words to come from just any guy.
You're young, dating, and just learning what a relationship is. It will be years down the road before you really know what true love is; and how to tell when those words are said and truly have meaning. The actions come first, and the words then back them up. Just my take on it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 June 2017):
 Considering that in your country the overwhelming majority of marriages are STILL arranged , regardless of what Bollywood movies choose to tell us, and that if your bf is Hindu or Muslim ( combined, another overwhelming majority ! ) he may not be " interested in marriage " as a personal preference, but very likely he is interested in fitting in , and performing what for both Hindus and Muslim is a social, ethical and religious duty, so unless your bf is a social reformer, a weirdo, or .. a filthy rich / powerful / megafamous guy who can, in a way, make his own traditions... if he is a regular guy, what he is saying is that he is not interested in marriage with YOU, and that he can't see any future with you ( probably because his parents have someone else in mind for him, or because there are social / economical / cultural differences between you )... He will try and be with you, and to hang on to you... " as long as it is possible ", i.e. as long as
it is convenient to him, and/ or as long as he is allowed to stay single .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 June 2017):
 Sounds like he REALLY doesn't want to be emotionally attached to you as he foresees marrying someone else at some point - maybe an arranged marriage? That YOU are the "hold over" until he has to marry someone.
So basically he is using you until his future is settled. YOU are not his future, you are just there to warn his bed, give him sex and affection.
He doesn't SEE a future with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2017): I feel the boyfriend is toying with your emotions but this is only because he lacks maturity and does not want a relationship that jumps from engaged to married at this moment in time.
It costs nothing to say "I love you too!"
"Thankyou" is not the worst I have heard. There is also:
"I love me too!"
Or any other evasive answer.
He may not be the touchy/feely sort of guy you want!
You could try modifying it to:
"I love being with you!" and see how that goes.
Dont offer him any more unrequited expressions of love and if you have had enough of his unloving attitude then kick him to the kerb and get out and get living!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (20 June 2017):
 It has no future. If you've been together less than 6 months (with anyone), I think it's wise to wait before saying "I love you" or you may be falling too quickly for guys.
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