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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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My boyfriend's weird relationship with his 2 grown daughters disturbs me
Q. My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his grown daughters. They are 20 and 25. He allows the younger one to drink in our home when she is driving. He roughhouses with the older one and sometimes will intertwine his limbs with hers when they are ...
A. 4 July 2013: OP, let's start with a premise, just for the sake of argument.. and of precision : going to a nude beach with your grown up children may be a bad idea or a good idea- depending from who is the person having the idea and why he is having it.
You ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my b/f alone for a night to go out with my friends? No males are invited!
Q. Hi. Currently I’m away at my uni town, and am planning on going home for 2 weeks with my boyfriend who is from my uni town. A group of my best/longest friends from home want to meet up, but they don’t want any boys to be there. One of the girls I’...
A. 25 June 2013: SVC, for once I don't agree - it's ONE evening out of 14 ! I often had family and friends visiting me for long visits, one month or so, and I bent over backwards to make them comfortable , keep them entertained,make sure they had fun.. .... yet ... (read in full...)
FWB...is am I in for a bad break?
Q. I've been in a fwb relationship for 6 months. I knew within the fourth month, I had very deep feelings for him. I have voiced how I feel about him and even explained that he is my fantasy. He was just outta really bad breakup and new to my area. ...
A. 24 June 2013: I have an answer but you won't like it :
I don't know if you are headed for a bad break, but surely you are headed for heartbreak.
You see him as your dream man and surely would see yourself being in a committed relationship with you. He told ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's weird relationship with his 2 grown daughters disturbs me
Q. My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his grown daughters. They are 20 and 25. He allows the younger one to drink in our home when she is driving. He roughhouses with the older one and sometimes will intertwine his limbs with hers when they are ...
A. 24 June 2013: OP, I am a bit perplexed here, I don't get what EXACTLY is your beef with the situation.
On one hand you play it as if it is simply a matter of disapproving his parental skills and the exanple he sets for his kids. In this case, you may be righ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my b/f alone for a night to go out with my friends? No males are invited!
Q. Hi. Currently I’m away at my uni town, and am planning on going home for 2 weeks with my boyfriend who is from my uni town. A group of my best/longest friends from home want to meet up, but they don’t want any boys to be there. One of the girls I’...
A. 24 June 2013: An evening meal in a pub ? So probably you won't even be back home late. Much ado for nothing. Go already !... (read in full...)
Okay for a model girlfriend to kiss another guy model for photo shoot???
Q. My girlfriend does allot of modeling and yesterday she told me that she might be in a photo shoot where she will have to kiss another guy model. I'll be honest and say I am very protective of her and I don't even like the idea of a guy touching her ...
A. 24 June 2013: I'm with Aunty BimBim. If you want to make sure your gf naver has to kiss another guy, then chose one with a different job, not a model or an actress.
It's her job, you can't tell her what to do at work . ( ( And it's a fake " stage " kiss anyw... (read in full...)
She broke my heart and she's expecting me to wish her a birthday message
Q. Hi, My ex- girlfriend that broke up our four year relationship would be celebrating her birthday in some days time. The fact is 4 months ago she broke up with me and recently she's been finding different means and tactics to get us talking,...
A. 24 June 2013: You don't want to send her birthday wishes - so do not send her birtday wishes. She did not send you wishes on your birthday , you can do exactly the same. Where's the problem ?
In you are worrying about etiquette ( ... anyway a fresh break up and ... (read in full...)
We have been dating 8 years and never had sex because of pregnancy fears
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we have never had intercourse. We are ready to, but we are freaked about getting pregnant because we have both always been so serious about attaining our high degrees in school. In high school i...
A. 24 June 2013: I agree ( as usually ) with YouWish. No, dear Op, there MUST be issues. Either with fear of penetration or sexual shame or some other hung up, or.. with your bf.
What other people do ? They ( hopefully ) practice responsible contracception ( say,... (read in full...)
Do I leave my b/f alone for a night to go out with my friends? No males are invited!
Q. Hi. Currently I’m away at my uni town, and am planning on going home for 2 weeks with my boyfriend who is from my uni town. A group of my best/longest friends from home want to meet up, but they don’t want any boys to be there. One of the girls I’...
A. 23 June 2013: I would go out. I think your friends are right, he's an adult, he can survive an evening without you. You can call some of your friends' boyfriends to keep him company, if you wish, but ask your bf first, not everybody thinks that a night spent ... (read in full...)
Should men stand up and get involved for their partners?
Q. I have a question about men standing up for their partners. My husband today told me a story about a woman at a wedding who was being picked on by another female guest. The woman went on and on but the lady who was being picked on's husband did ...
A. 23 June 2013: Well, if you can have screaming rows with your husband, then you can stand up for yourself, can you ?
I think your husband should intervene in case you risk physical harm, or maybe if someone is harassing you by insulting you , threatening you,... (read in full...)
Why did she wait 2 years to break up with me after our talk about having children?
Q. My girlfriend of 13years (fiance for 3 of those) left me 2months ago. Its a really tricky one this. We always agreed on not having kids. We were very happy together. No fighting, no cheating. We always gave one another space when we needed to do our ...
A. 23 June 2013: Yes, keep it no contact. Aren't you two broken up ? So, why contacting her, to be " friends " ? You said it yourself that you can't- it's true, right now you can't, it hurts too much, maybe in future when the emotions will be less raw.
Plus, if y... (read in full...)
How much, if any, of the insurance money I got after my father passed away should I be expected to give to my guardian?
Q. Hey everybody I'm getting $37,000 from insurance because my dad passed away, and I live with a guardian. I've been living with her for a year. How much should I give her because I know she wants some of it, she asked me if I was gonna give her...
A. 23 June 2013: Please listen to the advice you are given, and do not part from ANY money but what it's fair and reasonable for repaying what you consume. So what if they call you greedy, better be called " greedy " than be called " the fool that let herself be ... (read in full...)
How much, if any, of the insurance money I got after my father passed away should I be expected to give to my guardian?
Q. Hey everybody I'm getting $37,000 from insurance because my dad passed away, and I live with a guardian. I've been living with her for a year. How much should I give her because I know she wants some of it, she asked me if I was gonna give her...
A. 22 June 2013: Nothing. Your state appointed guardian has no cliam over your inheritance.
Why do you still have a guardian, btw, aren't you over 18 already ?
If you mean that you are still living with your EX guardian, and want to keep living there, agree on... (read in full...)
I'm not so sure that she's the one for me. How can I know if I should really take it to the next level?
Q. Hi , I need some advice about my relationship, I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 years (from we were about 20~), I love her and I think she loves me (at least that's what she claim), we can have fun together and we seem like a cute couple, ...
A. 22 June 2013: Yes, you've got quite a dilemma on your hands.
Because there's being in love and then there's being compatible and fit to share a future, and not necessarily the two things will coincide.
In your case, they don't. Frankly, the girl sounds l... (read in full...)
Music is my life, but I hate being in a band with these guys
Q. Dear aunts, This isn't a romantic relationship question, but I hope you can help me. I'm really torn up and upset about this. well, it's that I play the guitar in a band. Music has been my absolute life for a long time and I always LONGED to...
A. 22 June 2013: This is a bit as if Keith Richards kvetched because Bill Wyman or Charlie Watts - or even Mick Jagger, actually - would go to parties without him. They did, did he give a fuck ? heck no ( read the autobiography :)
This is about MUSIC. I know you ... (read in full...)
Ideas for fun first dates?
Q. You have probably read my other questions recently about my online potentials! Well, I've been talking to this girl recently who sounds really nice, and guess what, she asked me when we are going to meet up! I have been out with younger women be...
A. 22 June 2013: I agree with Euphoric 29, a first date ( and a blind date too ! ) should never be too construed and complicated. Ideally, it should be planned as simple - and short.
First, it's really about talking,breaking ice and getting to know each othe... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't think its a big deal to have a kid with another woman. It bothers me!
Q. I am 17, 2nd year college, while my boyfriend is 26, already a professional. i met him at school when he was tasked to be the substitute teacher for our class since our teacher is still on leave. he handled the class very good that he draws all our ...
A. 22 June 2013: I can't but reiterate what Got Issues said.
Forget about the child, that's not the problem.
The problem is that this guy is too old for you, sounds sleazy , unprofessional and unscrupolous ( how nice, using his professional capacity of substitu... (read in full...)
Am I using him? Am I worthless?
Q. I want to know if I am out of line. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now he has three kids and I have three . We only have four of the kids living with us because his two older children are adults. I work four months of t...
A. 22 June 2013: @ Euphoric 29 : your understanding of the role of a stepparent only shows that you are a generous person, but it's definitely not the understanding of the Law in the OP's country, nor the understanding of stepparents in general.
Legally ,ste... (read in full...)
Am I using him? Am I worthless?
Q. I want to know if I am out of line. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now he has three kids and I have three . We only have four of the kids living with us because his two older children are adults. I work four months of t...
A. 21 June 2013: You are not using him and you are not worthless, anyway , as unpopular as my opinion can be, I must say that I understand his dismay in being the sole or main source of support for 3 young children that are not his. These children have a father, ... (read in full...)
Is my current relationship worth it?
Q. i am in a relationship of 2 years that generally, i'm content with. i have never had many girlfriends and most of my close friends have always been guys. i do consider myself a tomboy so when a guy hits on me, i'm pretty flattered. my current ...
A. 21 June 2013: Personally I think that sexting is definitely already cheating . And probably even all your correspondence with that guy before the sexting could be called an emotional affair. Seen as you kept it rigorously secret fron your bf... you were aware ... (read in full...)
Why would an ex delete you completely from their life?
Q. Why would an ex delete you completely from his / her life? Especially when you did nothing wrong to them and you did not hurt them in any way....
A. 21 June 2013: Because there's no need or interest for it. You share with a certain person a part of your path, then your path diverge- and each moves on , unencumbered and unsaddled with remnants from the past.
There's a lot of people who think that " stay... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 21 June 2013: If he contacts you again... just ignore him , totally ignore him and forever hold your peace .
Even if he should say that he got divorced eventually and he's now single ( which of course, coming fron him, could very well be a big fat lie ). His ... (read in full...)
Should I give this jerk who dumped me a piece of my mind or not give him the satisfaction?
Q. I would love your opinion about this. I was dumped today by a low life, cheating prick. He came to my house to tell me. I am really upset by not only the fact he did it but by how he did it and how unfeeling and cold he was about it. He came t...
A. 21 June 2013: It's normal that now your emotions are all over the place, but if you can ,say, inhale 10 deep breaths and calm down a bit, may you will appreciate that :
1 ) a coward, he was not. Cold and unfeeling, probably, but not a coward. He came in pers... (read in full...)
How can someone say 'no communication' and then have the audacity to come and take a phone back that you lent them in the first place?
Q. my ex boyfriend broke up with me 4mths ago, we didn't talk for a month, then he began talking back to me. we had arguments till he felt we shouldn't communicate, I will say fine and respect what he said, then he come and try talk again when I don't ...
A. 21 June 2013: You should colour your phone gone, buy a new one, and take it as a lesson to become asserive. People can only play games if you play along with them, and sorry but you called all this drama upon yourself big time. Broke up 4 months ago and still ... (read in full...)
Why did she wait 2 years to break up with me after our talk about having children?
Q. My girlfriend of 13years (fiance for 3 of those) left me 2months ago. Its a really tricky one this. We always agreed on not having kids. We were very happy together. No fighting, no cheating. We always gave one another space when we needed to do our ...
A. 21 June 2013: No, don't worry, you haven't wasted her life, she just wants now things that she never wanted before.
And yes, I can imagine you still love her and miss her. But- try to see it this way , you miss someone that does not exist anymoe. Someone who ... (read in full...)
Help!! Who do I choose? The one who makes me his world or the one who gives me goosebumps?
Q. I have to choose between two men. #1 is kind, loving, considerate, caring, sweet, faithful, would do anything for me and makes me the centre of his universe. BUT he is boring, predictable there is no chemistry or spark between us and the sex is d...
A. 20 June 2013: Take neither. Old shoes feel comfy but then they become just smelly and misshapen and you get totally sick of them. Swinging for chandeliers is very fun, for a while, a few weeks or months, but there's always the moment when you realize you need to ... (read in full...)
Are these signs of interest or am I reading too much into it?
Q. Just asking knowledgable people's opinion. There are two girls i have an interest in. Both seem to be interested in me. One works in a shop I frequent and the other at a place of work I do deliveries to. I come to both these places at random...
A. 20 June 2013: The evidence is not conclusive . These girls might have wanted to impress you, or maybe they are just vain. Many women just tend authomatically to want to look at their best when there's a man around, it 's not even conscious. I know because... I ... (read in full...)
A girl that my b/f used to be intimate with is in our circle of friends. She's always around, how can I deal with it?
Q. I am in need of some advice..my b/f and i are 29 years old and have been together for almost a year..i have no doubt that we truly love each other and we see a future together. We are both currently staying with family members in order to save ...
A. 20 June 2013: So what do you suggest ? That, since this girl is going to be around to all the birthdays and other outings of the group, and your bf is not supposed to attend on his own- he should just cut off his friends of a whole life and just stay home with ... (read in full...)
Return a gift after breakup?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have been seeing this guy for over about two months now. He was away for a while so I couldn't see him but he brought me something which I thought was really sweet. After he came back, we went on dates. On our first date I pai...
A. 20 June 2013: Are you serious ? It can't be . Are you looking for some excuse to contact him again and patch up,perhaps ?
There's no obligation, and it's not customary , returning gifts unless they are engagement gifts . Or maybe, if it was something supe... (read in full...)
Why did she wait 2 years to break up with me after our talk about having children?
Q. My girlfriend of 13years (fiance for 3 of those) left me 2months ago. Its a really tricky one this. We always agreed on not having kids. We were very happy together. No fighting, no cheating. We always gave one another space when we needed to do our ...
A. 20 June 2013: 13 years are a long time, people can change in 13 years . Particularly about having children. When I was a teenager I just hated children ( well, I am not much of a child person, even now- I loved MINE, but others', I can take them or leave them ) ... (read in full...)
G/f said we should take a small break. What do I do?
Q. we've dated for 2 years we had a "breakup" about 8 months ago as a result of a fight, but we made up the next day and we have been together since. we haven't had a major fight like that again, and I took time to address my issues related to it so...
A. 20 June 2013: This is not even an advice, this is just my personal opinion , feel free to diregard it :
personally I think you made a BIG mistake even in accepting a break. I don't believe in breaks, breaks are stupid. They are for children, you know like when... (read in full...)
Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?
Q. Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!...
A. 20 June 2013: Yes and no. I think it's true to a relevant extent, with hard work, ambition, determination, PASSION you can obtain surprising results and get yourself where nobody thought you could arrive. But, it takes talent too, and for some careers more than ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity with her but will I regret it later because of the circumstances?
Q. Hi, I'm a 26 year old male virgin. I was offered by a air hostess to 'be' with her next week. I do have to pay so she is offering sex as a service. I am seriously thinking about it and was just wondering if I should do it. I just want to get...
A. 20 June 2013: Aha! Freudian slip :).... (read in full...)
Is marriage the right thing for me to do?
Q. I just want to share my story and I would Love your opinions. it was about 8 or 9 months ago I was walking into church for a revival when I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He was well dressed, the cutest smile with pe...
A. 19 June 2013: No disrespect meant, but, if it persists,... go see your doctor. It maybe some mood disorder.
You see a guy once from afar, and you want to marry him because he has a beautiful smile ? how does this make sense ? Ok, you have been texting, or t... (read in full...)
I made a mistake and it hurts so much I don't want her to leave me
Q. Thank you for reading... I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 years and we are very happy together. We have always been good but she left me last week and i can't see what to do from here. I was at a party a few weeks ago and there were a...
A. 19 June 2013: I think your Gf is being a wimp for love- She is keeping you in the doghouse for a little while, and wants to show herself stern and unpliable ,and let you sweat ot a little more,... but the simple fact the she calls YOU- her EX for now- first ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my old job? I worry that the store manager does not like me and I suffer social anxiety. Or should I look for something else?
Q. For 3 summers I have worked at a retail store, and then leave when I go back to college for the year. When I work there, I always feel very unconfident because I worry that the store manager doesn't like me, and I always feel like I am under su...
A. 19 June 2013: I think you should just go back. I think that you are looking for a new job in part, surely, for the reasons you mention, but in part - to run away from a challenge. Your old job was challenging for you and you hope that miraculously all this will ... (read in full...)
I am so sick and tired of losing out in love and being the lonely one.
Q. I feel absolutely hopeless. I love my friend more than I have ever oved anyone. If he goes back to his ex wife or doesn't lvoe me now is there some hope that maybe he'll fall for me in the future? I am so sick of the loneliness and pain I feel ...
A. 19 June 2013: Let's start from the bottom :
no, OP, you don't really KNOW for a fact that you'll never be able to meet another man, that you'll never have another chance but with him.
This is what it feels now because you are freshly heartbroken, and vulnerab... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I love my 16 year old cousin -- is that wrong?
Q. I love my 16 year old cousin is that wrong Why I love her I love her in so much and I want her bad, when our family has gatherings me and her always are together and make each other laugh, in my point of view she is smart and funny and very ...
A. 18 June 2013: Here on DC ? Are you sure you got it right ? Different people have different opinions, but I can't think of ONE of the Aunts and Uncles, at least among the regulars, that would encourage a 13 y.o.to have sex.
Even without the complications of your... (read in full...)
Do you think I should even try to have a friends with benefits relationship with him or is that just setting myself up to get heartbroken again?
Q. Hi all, 3 years ago I started dating a Marine. We grew up near each other and were friends for several years before we started dating. We did the long distance thing for about a year when he started asking me to relocate (across country) to marr...
A. 18 June 2013: Oh brilliant- so you are going to give him what he wants ( but you don't really want ) for what ?... As a reward for having been a perfect selfish asshole , and as an incentive to do even worse once he realizes he's just got to whistle and you'll ... (read in full...)
What are your opinions when it comes to friends having surgery
Q. If someone say an ex girlfriend, someone you're friends with, or know really well got a nose job what would you think of them? Taking into consideration that their nose was bumpy, hooked and too big for their face... Would you think any differ...
A. 18 June 2013: That's a strange question, for me. Alas I don't have a very exciting life, all rather normal and predictable, and YET I don't think I could spare 30 seconds to think about how and why X changed her nose, and I can think of about 500 things that ... (read in full...)
My Dad refuses to be around my boyfriend
Q. I'm going to my cousin's 30th birthday party next week, but I can't take my boyfriend with me, as my dad is going to the party too, and he doesn't want to be around my boyfriend. My boyfriend used some bad language when he came to my dad's birthday ...
A. 18 June 2013: As I wrote in my previous post that ended up by mistake under another question, you seem to think that having Bipolar Disorder means being entitled to do the heck you want whenever you want , and it is the same as being an irrational stark raving ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's weird relationship with his 2 grown daughters disturbs me
Q. My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his grown daughters. They are 20 and 25. He allows the younger one to drink in our home when she is driving. He roughhouses with the older one and sometimes will intertwine his limbs with hers when they are ...
A. 18 June 2013: OP, you say yourself that he touched her accidentally- and if it was accidental, what was there to say ?!, other than maybe " oops sorry " , but perhaps not even that, to not make it more awkward than it was.
I too am not a big fan of roug... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity with her but will I regret it later because of the circumstances?
Q. Hi, I'm a 26 year old male virgin. I was offered by a air hostess to 'be' with her next week. I do have to pay so she is offering sex as a service. I am seriously thinking about it and was just wondering if I should do it. I just want to get...
A. 17 June 2013: Cerberus rises a reasonable point , i.e. maybe the general prejudice against buying sex is irrational and sentimental, because, to look at it closer ... why renting a woman 's private parts for your use should be any different from buying a ... (read in full...)
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