A
male
age
36-40,
*hootit
writes:Hi,I'm a 26 year old male virgin. I was offered by a air hostess to 'be' with her next week. I do have to pay so she is offering sex as a service.I am seriously thinking about it and was just wondering if I should do it. I just want to get this off my shoulders so to speak and want to know what sex feels like. Hopefully, it will give me more confidence.On the other hand, I may regret this. I am also very nervous if I go ahead with this. Thoughts?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 June 2013):
 Aha! Freudian slip :).
A
male
reader, shootit +, writes (19 June 2013):
shootit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry I meant I understand that there will be NO emotional attachment between us
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A
male
reader, shootit +, writes (19 June 2013):
shootit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all,
I'm the OP. Thanks for all your insights. I see both sides of the story of whether to go for it or not.
To make it clearer, she is actually a webcam girl who is also a flight attendant. She is travelling to my city so that's how the offer came about, not sure if that will change opinions or not.
Anyhow, she claims she has medical reports stating that she is disease free. I have requested for that before we go any further as I am still thinking about this.
I just want to know what sex feels like physically, I understand there will be emotional attachment, and I understand that emotional attachment makes sex better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): "It is the difference between having sex with a willing partner or having sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you."
She offered and is willing to make money that way. Her choice basically. She's willing to have sex with him for money. That's willing to have sex with him. I've had sex plenty of times when I wasn't willing to for lots of reasons. Knowing I would have to lie next to a pissed off woman if I didn't, being one such reason. But that's not even the case here. She selected him.
"Not all prostituted women are doing it due to extenuating circumstances, but more than 90% worldwide are."
Well as a professional woman who already has a pretty good job I can say she's very likely part of the 10% and is willing to go that extra mile for that kind of money.
"If you randomly grabbed 100 prostituted women, only 8 of them would be there just because that's a job they picked."
You'd probably get the same if you polled 100 McDonald's employees or cleaners. In fact if you polled all the workers in the world you'd find very few who are in the job they wanted because they had to be through necessity and not because they picked it.
I understand your view Euphoria and completely respect it, as I do person12345's opinion. But I can't agree, just my view really, I've had plenty of sex that was nowhere near emotional or special, with people with far less integrity than a woman who sells her body (not that they lack that of course but you get my point). In my view we generally pay for sex as is, whether that's to "treat" a lady by paying for the date, or by "going that extra mile" to get our reluctant partner in the mood. That too can cost money.
The cost of having to pay everything on a date or handing her the money directly, same thing in my mind. Direct versus indirect financial trade.
Maybe it's the idea of it being so precious is what makes the OP so nervous about it. I know plenty of men who let it become such an amazing profound thing in their minds that it held them back. That one final mystery that makes women seem so daunting still and the thing we have shoved in our faces all the time. Maybe for the OP, he's just reached a point where he wants to give it a shot, and with this lady he has that opportunity.
So what if she wants a bit of cash instead of a compliment, or a paid for meal, or some charm, or just because she gets horny when drunk and loses control, or she's out to fuck the first guy she sees to get over an ex, revenge on a boyfriend or any of the myriad of other, perhaps questionable reasons women and men have sex. Two consenting adults having sex is not immoral just because there's money involved, there is money involved indirectly in obtaining sex in a lot of regular dating too. Dating costs money, transport, meal etc. So what if the sex is one of those services too?
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (17 June 2013):
 This wouldn’t be our VIRGIN Airline offering you this extra service would it? I know we have to pay extra for a meal and onboard entertainment, but this is a new one to me!? Looks like our Australian Hostess are trying to get more customs to fly with them? Have you discussed getting bonus Frequent Flyer Points? :) Seriously though, you are hoping this experience will give you confidence… Yet you haven’t had the confidence so far in meeting a female mate or partner to develop a relationship? So how is it you think that one lay (or a thousand lays), paid or free is going to make or turn you into a confident lover/person? I don’t believe it works that way.You “may regret this is” an understatement; as you will most definitely regret this as you are someone who is voicing himself asking for our thoughts… whereby you’re either asking for approval, courage and support to go ahead with this OR encouragement to save your virginity and build your confidence elsewhere?Frankly you’re best to do whatever you can live with at the end of the day. It’s your conscious and health at risk, not ours!Besides do you think you’re really going “to know what sex feels like” with this Hostess with the mostest when you should be wearing protection!? Surely you’re not that gullible or naive to trust a pretty smile and her word when she does this sort of thing on the side!?Flyer Beware – CAA
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 "I don't see how money changing hands makes the act of fucking them somehow disgusting,"
It makes a pretty big difference actually... It is the difference between having sex with a willing partner or having sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you. Sex is different from other services because a) it's unbelievably dangerous, b) it is the only job that uses someone's internal organs, and c) has a lot more emotional and mental "things" attached to it than other jobs. Not all prostituted women are doing it due to extenuating circumstances, but more than 90% worldwide are. If you randomly grabbed 100 prostituted women, only 8 of them would be there just because that's a job they picked.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): There is a male poster who comes to this website who lost his virginity to a prostitute and has continued to pay women for sex for many years. He ask aunts to help him learn how to develop and maintain a proper relationship with women because he does not know how to.
Why do you want to lose your virginity? Have you ever had a proper relationship with a woman (even if you did not have sex with her)? What do you hope to accomplish by losing your virginity? Are you expecting a positive or negative experience?
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (17 June 2013):
Dear Cerberus,
I really like to argue with you and respect your opinion. Anyway, to me, sex should be for free. It's one of those few things that I feel should not be traded with money. Really good sex is more than just a physical action. It's mutual desire. And that can't be sold.
Look, I think sex is something precious. And you can have sex with a stranger and still find it a precious moment. But to just go, plan it, pay for it and have it all on your terms.. without the risk of rejection, but also without the thrill of real excitement.. don't know. We're not animals. We're humans and we create meaning around sex. It means something to the OP to lose his virginity after all those years.
I wish for our OP to discover that he can get a girl without paying. I believe in him being man enough to go out in the real world and be successful there.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (17 June 2013):
 Sex is not a moral issue. Paying for sex is not a moral issue. It is a paid service like any other, if you want to and have the money and understand that you are paying for sex and not a relationship or any other sort of emotional bond with her, then no one has a right to tell you that it's 'Immoral'.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (17 June 2013):
Cerberus rises a reasonable point , i.e. maybe the general prejudice against buying sex is irrational and sentimental, because, to look at it closer ... why renting a woman 's private parts for your use should be any different from buying a woman's strength and muscles to , say, have her give you a good scrub to your floors ?
I don't feel bad at all in hiring a cleaning lady, she offers services that I need, and as long as I pay her fairly and treat her politely, what's wrong with that. While I would feel horrible in hiring an escort, of any gender- but , that's an nstinctive, gut feeling thing. I realize that it might be just my personal hang up, or a social , cultural hang up- that you are not obliged to share.
So I won't try to change your mind based on morals.
But, Euphoric 's contribution too implies a good point, which is : what's the purpose ? what do you hope to accomplish ?
If you have reached 26 still virgin, and it wasn't a CHOICE, .. it means that you have some kind of difficulty in your relational life. Maybe you are painfully shy, maybe you have social anxiety, maybe you are morbidly obese or have some sort of disability that eats at your self esteem ...I have no idea, anyway there was something that makes getting laid more difficult for you than for the average guy.
Ok, so now you pay this girl, see what sex feels like, appease your curiosity... and then ?
Rinse and repeat all over again, for the rest of your life ? Always escorts, always understanding flight attendants ?
It's going to be damn expensive . And most of all it's going to be sad and self defeating. I mean, if the reason why you can't get laid normally is, pardon my bluntness, that you feel a bit of a loser... won't this paid experience reinforce your perception ? particularly if you have to repeat it again and again ? Won't you end up feeling like a total loser ?...
My point , I guess is : think about what's the point of this thing. If you pay a woman for sex, you will be neither the first nor the last , and no, you won't go to Hell with horned devils all around you- but , what's ONE encounter going to change ?... It would be more sensible to spend that money for something that would alter what prevents you from getting laid - like therapy if it is a psychologial issue...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): "I think she does this as a second job or on the side rather."
Even better. If you have the cash and think she's hot, then you've no reason not to in my mind other than whatever misgivings you may have.
With all due respect to Euphoric grabbing a promiscuous stranger from the Internet is just as "disgusting" as paying for a night with an air hostess.
Make your decision based on what you want OP, not what women think. I've never needed to pay for it but I've never had a very hot woman offer herself in that way to pay for it either, if I was single and had the cash I'd probably go for it. I wouldn't worry about "keeping it a secret" either, if it was my virginity I'd just say I lost it an air hostess and that's it. I don't see how money changing hands makes the act of fucking them somehow disgusting, I mean we generally have to pay for that privilege by buying them dinner and drinks anyway, so it's all the same. The only difference here is you're guaranteed to get laid.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (17 June 2013):
Dear shootit,
Since cerberus spoke FOR having paid sex, I'm gonna play the "angel" on your shoulder :)
I agree that you should lose your virginity if you want to and it's good to know what sex feels like. However, why pay for it? It's disgraceful. And honestly, I don't believe sex is the same when you pay for it, one party is just faking it because of the money.
Most women disapprove of guys paying for sex, so you will have to keep it a secret to your future girlfriend or you risk of her finding you immoral.
I really think in the long run it would be better to analyze WHY you're still a virgin. Are you too shy to talk to girls, did you wait for "the one" for too long, are you seriously overweight or what is it?
Maybe you can find the reason and find a way to overcome it. You're going to be proud of yourself if you can "hunt" out in the wild :)
Alcohol has helped a lot of people to lose their virginity, so maybe think about a meaningless one night stand when slightly drunk (not too drunk though for obvious reasons)?
And look, if you're really desperate, the internet (I always say it but it's true) is a jungle full of people with different fetishes. Who knows, maybe there's some hot cougar who would love to take away your virginity and introduce you to the world of physical pleasures (or maybe that's just my fantasy..well.. change of subject).
.. all I want to say is: Get creative. There are a 1001 ways to get laid and paying is easiest, but not necessarily most fun.
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A
male
reader, shootit +, writes (17 June 2013):
shootit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAt the same time, I think she does this as a second job or on the side rather.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): You may also regret passing up this opportunity. I say go for it, shootit. If nothing else it will get rid of mystery surrounding sex for you.
Shootit do you want to live a life of missed opportunities, is that not pretty much how you find yourself still a virgin?
You have nothing to lose except the mystery and once that's gone it really is easier to deal with because it's no longer the monkey on your back.
Just as a matter of curiosity, why would you not? What is there about this that you'd regret if you did it? That you paid for it? Who cares? No one need ever know.
Better her than some trafficked crack addict, plus you're paying for a service, which means she'll give you your money's worth, will not judge you on performance and will be far more forgiving of in that respect. She'll probably show you a trick or two too.
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