A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am in a relationship of 2 years that generally, i'm content with. i have never had many girlfriends and most of my close friends have always been guys. i do consider myself a tomboy so when a guy hits on me, i'm pretty flattered. my current boyfriend is a bit older and just isn't into the idea of spontaneous sex, or having fun. sometimes when i confront him saying i feel like we don't do things other couples my age are, he just claims that he cooks me dinner every night, so shouldn't that be enough? anyway, i find myself getting my "girly flirts" out with my other guy friends since i just don't get much of it with my bf. a while back, on the last day of an awesome conference that took place in a different part of the states, i met a really hot guy and we ended up exchanging numbers and IMing pretty regularly for the next several months. it was so exciting talking to him because the more we talked, the more i learned about him and it turned out most of our interest were very similar--which was quite remarkable considering we have really abstract hobbies and playlist! of course, i was hush hush about the whole thing and have never told anyone i even met him. (not even my best friend!)the whole thing with him has been incredibly thrilling because it's been such a big secret. at some point though, it was kind of disappointing when it turned into sexting---it happened once or twice and then we just kind of stopped talking to each other. idk about him, but i was kind of disappointed that it turned into that because he was so cool. he finally texted me recently and of course, he was interested in sexting. i wasn't too into it--so i ended that conversation quickly. i started thinking about him again and sometimes find myself wondering if my current relationship is worth it. i get so excited thinking about another person having the same general interest as me and being sexually attracted to me. i certainly don't feel like i want to get girly with my boyfriend, but--as soon as that guy and i started talking, i was hitting the gym everyday. who knows, what do you guys think?
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female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (22 June 2013):
 I think you enjoy the fact you have the same interest which is very important in friendships and relationships. Its possible thats its the thrill of dealing with someone new and compatible. Its a real good to have same hobbies plus same music taste. Its wonderful that he is attracted to you. He may not be just into that one aspect of the friendship. The fact you are involved with someone is the issue to why your into the attention your getting from someone other than your current boyfriend. If you become single you have met your match already you wont have to look.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 June 2013):
 I think if you so easily can sext and IM another guy, then your current relationship is not something you are really 100% committed too.
Yes, you didn't continue once you found out the guy only wanted to sext, but the fact that you kept it a secret says a lot. It say that you KNOW it wasn't really OK to do.
I don't think the "guy" you met and IM'd a lot is one for you either, but maybe you need to reconsider if the one you are WITH is someone you really WANT to be with, not just stay with out of familiarity and because it's convenient for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2013): you may love/have feelings for your current bf but you guys don't seem very compatible. it's already one thing if people with different interests both make the effort to get into their partner's hobbies etc. But if this is going only one way and you're feeling your bf isn't putting effort to share your hobbies and interests then maybe you guys just aren't compatible.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 June 2013):
 Personally I think that sexting is definitely already cheating . And probably even all your correspondence with that guy before the sexting could be called an emotional affair. Seen as you kept it rigorously secret fron your bf... you were aware that the conversation was innocuous and the intentions, much less.
Poor boyfriend. Do you want to keep him around just because he is a safe bet ,and keep cuckolding him mercilessly according to your moods ? Why. Do not do that to him- if nothing else, in gratitude for all that good dinners he cooked for you.You find him sort of boring, and that's ok, you don't have to stay with him if your interest has waned, But be generous , set him free and let him find the quiet girl fond of homemade cooking that would appreciate him just as he is.
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A
female
reader, queenadelaide  +, writes (21 June 2013):
No it's not.
Find someone you have a better connection with. You are clearly restless. It's only a matter of time before you start another emotional affair with the next exciting person that comes along because something's missing from your current relationship.
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