A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes: Hey everybody I'm getting $37,000 from insurance because my dad passed away, and I live with a guardian. I've been living with her for a year. How much should I give her because I know she wants some of it, she asked me if I was gonna give her $10,000 and I said I don't know. She was like alright and she sounded like she was mad... I don't know what to do? This is why I hate dealing with money because its gonna cause problems... Please help thanks, no rude comment please.
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female
reader, izzygurl +, writes (23 June 2013):
izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the advice everybody, and I really appreciate it, me and the lady aren't related, she was my dads friend before he passed away... My stepmum wouldn't take me in when he died so I had to go with her. I'm planning on getting a Honda civic and she wants me to put the car in her name so car insurance would be cheaper because in a new driver... I really don't trust her because she might take car completely... I shouldn't even have to buy a car anyways,because my dad had an Honda civic when he was living and he didn't finish the payment it was only $2000 left to pay to the dealers... So she told me and said " I will pay for the car and you'll pay me back when you get your money" that was her word but when I asked her about it she said the car was "hers" and she payed for it... It was a 2005 Honda civic, it doesn't cost $2000 the last time I checked... She didn't pay for the whole thing she tricked me and took it. My stepmum wanted the car but I didn't want her to have it, the lady even told not to give it to my stepmum... But I didn't know she had plans to take the car...My stepmum still doesn't have a car today and she still rides the bus, I feel bad I should've let her take the car. The lady I live with hers 3 cars like wow I can't believe how greedy and manipulative she is.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 June 2013):
 you are over the age of 18
you can leave home now.
You have absolutely NO LEGAL responsibility to give her a brass razoo. No a cent. She has already been provided with money to support you. Some of that money should have been YOUR discretionary spending money but she has kept all of it for herself.
Speak to the people who supply that money to her. Let them know that she gives you nothing. And then let them know BEFORE YOU MOVE OUT. So that they do not keep on sending her money after you have moved out.
Move out when she is out for the day.
You have suffered enough with this dreadful greedy woman.
This is your money. Your money entirely.
It is NOT HER MONEY. and she has NO ENTITLEMENT TO IT AT ALL.
At your age it is the start of your life.
Missaqua777 gave you very sound advice.
You absolutely do NOT need to give her money for a holiday.
To do that is UNJUST to you.
As your Guardian she would have been compensated for being your guardian. She sounds like a grasping USER .
Use the money to leave Now. Get a place to live and then put the money into a interest Term Deposit that NO ONE but you can touch for 12 months.
Getting out from under her MEAN GREEDY thumb is the best thing to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2013): You've had the heartbreaking experience of losing your dad... You've lost the security of someone that is naturally expected to care and provide for you... This £37, 000 is no consolation- but it's something that you would expect would go COMPLETELY towards your offspring's well being I.e. providing for your future, I.e College, mortgage, etc... Flat...NOT HER Or her MUM'S CAR! - This is pure greed and anything she says to you that guilt trips you into giving her your INHERITANCE money is manipulative and unfair... As moral, ethical people on dear Cupid, we are the objectives on people's situations and we see what the person who is emotionally involved doesn't see... FACT- this greedy, selfish manipulative woman doesn't deserve a pennyI'm a very considerate, thoughtful person, like most on here and would probably, like someone mentioned would treat her to a holiday or something worth about £1000 maybe... As a nice gesture... That's as far as any Nice gestures should go... She doesn't even deserve this in my opinion... For Being greedy and manipulative37,000 these days is (mad as it sounds) like 1/100,000 of a rich persons wage.. Probably less of a fraction... Lol... - Tell her straight and use that money to get away from her... That's the first step to looking After your well being and nobody's perfect... Do your best Rely on the value of yourself (which is a lot) and do the ethical thing- providing for yourself. All the best XXX :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 June 2013):
 Please listen to the advice you are given, and do not part from ANY money but what it's fair and reasonable for repaying what you consume. So what if they call you greedy, better be called " greedy " than be called " the fool that let herself be bled dry out of her inheritance " .
Get yourself a cheap car, get yourself a job most of all, and move the hell out of there. It does not seem from your previous post that you have any particular affection ties with this people, and, alas, viceversa. So, this is a good chance to move on with your life in a different environment.
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A
female
reader, izzygurl +, writes (23 June 2013):
izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes she do get money everymonth on my behalf to pay for food, bills and things I need. The money was suppose to be mine but since I'm still living with her she told me she needs the money for bills and food, so she gets that everymonth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2013): You don't owe this woman anything and if you give her anything at all, it is purely out of generosity.
The money should be used for your school expenses, clothing,
transportation, medical procedures that may not be fully covered by health insurance. You are approaching adulthood and you darn well better learn how to deal with money.
It is not to be wasted nor given away. He left it to you to take care of you. Not your guardian, who is being greedy.
You can go through that money in a flash, and you should place it in a bank account, and seek some legal advice how to protect it and how to properly use it.
You are young and inexperienced, so it is likely she'll know how to weasel something out of you. She is not entitled to a red cent; but if you want to help her out with a pressing bill or household repair, that is acceptable. If you start talking figures, she will take advantage of you for sure.
As everyone has said prior to my post, put it away for safe keeping and when you have emergencies.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (23 June 2013):
 $400 per month is sufficient to cover food and the extra cost of having another person live under her roof. Depending on the location (midwest or south) this could even cover rent for a room. For a single girl - you are looking at about $300 in groceries, $100 in bills & anywhere from $200-$400 per month for rent when sharing an apartment with roommates. What she is receiving is more than sufficient for food and bills - I assume she has a house thats paid for?
Are you in school? Is there any way you can move out -find roommates and continue with school? I think I remember you're last post - are you in nursing school?
This money needs to go towards your future and not someones car allowance/pocket. They seem very bitter to have you around - are they related to you? They are exceptionally greedy - they do not even need $2000. It's not money they have any entitlement towards. I'd be looking to move out and using this money to secure an excellent education.
Buy a cheapy car - newish (2/3 years old, but low miles) and the rest put towards school. Honda civics are excellent cars for students due to low gas usage, low insurance costs and they drive forever. Don't put all your money in a car - in a car crash you'd lose the money you've invested in it (insurance never gives you 100% back). Use this money wisely towards your education and later an apartment/house.
Also, be wise and stop talking about this money. If they ask, tell them that you've deferred payout till you are 25. Get yourself a mailbox at the local post-office (cost no more than $12 per month)or have your letters sent to a friends house.
Be smart here. You're learning a very valuable lesson here - people can use you and are greedy. People could care less that you now lack a parent - instead they are thinking about their own gain. She is greedy and selfish.
She has been fairly compensated each month through social security payments. There is nothing else she is entitled to.
Please move out - these people are trouble.
Everyone here is giving you very honest advise - we're adults here and can see you are in a vulnerable position. Please take peoples advise.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (22 June 2013):
 What? You don't have to give her anything! How dare she ask if you're planning to give her 10 grand? The money is none of her business. You would do well to stick it into a bank account far away from her.
Please listen to the advice you're given on DC and don't give her money.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2013): Also, why don't you go discuss this with a lawyer. You'll get plenty of advise on how to legally handle this situation. An appointment wouldn't cost more than $100.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2013): You give nothing. It is an inheritance meant for you and your future. You now have no father, a person who would have helped pay for college and perhaps given you a down payment for your first house. This is what the money is mean for - very smart, long term things that will improve your life.So, do not spend a penny of this money on make-up, food, rent, etc. Only school and a property. Do not give anyone this money. It is meant soley for you. Lock it away in a CD or investment account for another five years, till you're more mature to use it wisely and till a time when you can easily say NO to other people's stupid demands.This is what happens when people here someone has gained money - whether through a lottery or inheritance. Suddenly, other people want a piece of the pie. You start giving it away and before you know it, very little is left for you.Is your guardian being paid monthly? Can you explain this part. Are you going to school or working?
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A
female
reader, izzygurl +, writes (22 June 2013):
izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe and her mum wants me to give them something, her mum wants me to fix her car and they call me greedy when I try not to talk about the money.... I plan on getting my first car with the money and give her like $2000 and her mum like $1000 but she might think that's too little, I wanna put the rest in the bank for college or school related expenses. I let her be my payee from social security so she can get money $400 every month for bills and and food I eat. Hmm I don't know if that's enough, I really don't know what else to do. She's really greedy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2013): I agree with CindyCares, don't give any money but do start paying rent etc. That money can go towards college and your future. You certainly don't want to be just giving a away to a guidian of ONE year. Its your money, not hers. She has no right to it at all.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (22 June 2013):
Nothing. Your state appointed guardian has no cliam over your inheritance.
Why do you still have a guardian, btw, aren't you over 18 already ?
If you mean that you are still living with your EX guardian, and want to keep living there, agree on a monthly sum for your share of rent ,food and bills.
Otherwise, more simply, move out.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 June 2013):
Is the Guardian a family member? Are they being paid by the state?
If they are a family member and taking care of you has cost them money when they don't have it then some amount may be appropriate, but 10k is too much.
If they are being paid by the government then don't give them a penny.
This money is not a payday, it's to pay for things your dad would have bought if he were still alive, including a inexpensive car, college, etc.
You'd be amazed at how fast 37k can disappear... If I was you I'd start planning your purchases right now, and try to stay with the plan. Try not to live off the money, but rather use it to supplement your income while you use it to enhance your future... Down payment on a house even... that way you're getting something out of it (a house) but it's still worth something when you sell.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 June 2013):
 None. It's your inheritance, not your guardians. Ask your guardian how much she will give you once she inherits anything.
Why does your guardian know how much you will inherit? How does she know you will inherit anything at all? Leave her out of your financial business, don't say a peep about what you get or how much, or when you get it, or anything.
Your guardian gets NADA. Okay? I don't know who this guardian is, but she sounds like nothing but a blood-sucking mosquito, trying to get her hands on your money.
Just tell her the inheritance was locked into an account that can only be used to buy property.
And look into this, where in the law does is say that you have to give your inheritance away??? Excuse me, but that's your money, and you're not supposed to give any of it away unless that's what you personally want. You don't owe it to your guardian to give her a thing, and I would be especially careful since she comes off as so greedy, caring more for money than for you... So if she cares so little for you, and only wants your money, don't treat her any better in return.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (22 June 2013):
Put the money in the bank and keep it for your future. The insurance is meant to benefit you and while no one said you can not help your guardian, I feel like 10k is way too high. It is not your guardian's dad who has passed away. There is no real reason she deserves so much money when she is your legal guardian.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2013): First of all, you need to deal with money your whole life, I know it's not the most pleasant thing to do but a very important. Your ability to do it good can make your life comfortable or not. Second, drop the emotions. You need to to talk to the lawyers about this situation. Don't pay attention to your guardian emotions, of course she wants money. But it's absolutely not the way to do it. If she asking you like this I am pretty sure she is not entitled to it by law. 37k is not a lot of money at all. You are very young and probably still in school. This money can get you a better car, not new if you are smart. And some money to use to put away for hard times, but that's all. It's not like you inherited 370k. She wants a huge chunk out of it. We don't know the exact situation, why she even thinks that she can ask you for you dads inheritance, but talk to the lawyer. All the best.
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