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Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?

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Question - (19 June 2013) 13 Answers - (Newest, 20 June 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (20 June 2013):

Dear OP,

In short, no. Not always. Of course, when you ask successful people, they will always say that they wanted this more than all the others and/or that they worked harder for it than anybody else. But I guess that's just what they tell themselves to justify their success.

Yet, there are people who try hard and fail. Maybe they lack the realism, the skills, maybe they try the wrong way or they are at the wrong time in the wrong place.

I used to want to be a dancer. I started late but trained a lot. Always thought if I'd get more training I could still make it. Till I suffered from serious joint problems and had to stop and have physiotherapy in order to live a painfree life again. But guess what, I don't regret that I tried. I always had that dream until I tried and failed. It didn't even feel as sad as I thought I'd be when I had to give up. I found something else that inspired me and I'm good now.

So my advice is: If you have a big dream, stop dreaming and start trying. You don't regret it in case you fail, but you will regret if you never try at all. It's worth to put your energy into the things that you love.

As Khalil Gibran said: Work is love made visible.

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (20 June 2013):

Absolutely. But do understand that there is an enormous difference between wanting something really bad, and willing to do whatever it take to obtain that thing.

You can have just about anything you want, as long as you are willing to give up almost everything else for it. Things that are desirable for one person are often desirable for many, leading to scarcity and competition for that thing. What are you willing to give up to get it? Its a personal choice. For me, monetary success and independence were at the top of my list at a young age. So when my friends were partying in college, I was studying. When they were going to the beach on weekends, I was putting in overtime. When they were on vacation, I was at the office. I basically sacrificed the last 20 years of my life for what I have now. I knew what the costs were going to be, and for me, it was worth it. Im now 45, live in a 9600 sq ft mansion, drive a Porsche 911, am sitting on top of a multi-million dollar company, and likely never have to worry about money again for the rest of my life. I work still (typically 3 days a week) for the rush it still gives me, but now it is only for pleasure instead of necessity. The last 20 years were hell. 100+ hour weeks, years without a vacation, but I was willing to do it and am now reaping the rewards. I started with basically nothing, so it can be done, Im living proof of it.

Wanting it one thing, willing to do it is another. How bad do you really want it? Only you can answer that.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (20 June 2013):

I believe you can be your best through dedication and hard work. Whether that's enough to fulfill your dreams depends on talent and luck. Take athletes for an instance. Behind every successful olympian with a lot of medals there are hundreds of others that trained just as hard and gave up just as much, but simply didn't make the cut. That's how life is unfortunately.

It really depends what your dream career is. If you're aiming at a very small, 'elite' niche, you're going to have to make a plan B incase you miss. Because you need luck, too. Take acting. There are countless hopeful, beautiful, talented young actors and actresses, but only a few break out. Jennifer Lawrence has talent and looks on her side, but it took her being at the right place at the right time for the right person to take notice of that. Otherwise she may well have been just another nameless face in that particular pool.

If your dream career doesn't hinge on so much 'chance' then you have a better shot. So, go for it, but be realistic about it. Set a time limit and if by then you aren't closer in achieving your goals, then consider moving on to something else.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (20 June 2013):

CindyCares agony auntYes and no. I think it's true to a relevant extent, with hard work, ambition, determination, PASSION you can obtain surprising results and get yourself where nobody thought you could arrive. But, it takes talent too, and for some careers more than others. It takes a "daimon ", it takes something special that's already in there and just waiting to be honed and brought on. Like, if you want to be a dancer, and you are uncoordinated and with no sense of rhythm, you can still , with a lot of sweat and patience, learn all the technicalities and manage to be a decent performer.. But,if your dream was to be an etoile , a prima ballerina, decent won't cut it , and won't bring you anywhere closer to your goal.

Plus, let's not forget it also takes a bit of luck , we can't sort that out . Being in the right place at the righ time. Once I read an interview with that hearthrob from Beverly Hills 90210 ( Luke Perry is he ? not sure ). He said that when they gave him the role in that show, it was like his 147th audition, and he had always been turned down before. Now, sure he is commendable for his determination, and dedication, and faith in himself. But, since he is objectively a lousy actor, he was also lucky. He was there when they had in mind some skinny blond dude with more or less his face. Serendipity, that's a big help too.

Another opposite example would be Gauguin, Modigliani and so many other painters who obviously had the talent, but only got fame and stellar quotations for their paintings... after their deaths, and after struggling with poverty, debts and semistarvation all their life. No serendipity for them. Or poet John Keats. Everybody loved Keats ...once he was dead . When he was alive, he had to mooch from friends to have enough to eat.

So, how one knows when to keep stubbornly pursuing a dream regardless of obstacles, and when it's time to pack your things up, go home and open an hot dog kiosk ?...

Well, one does not really know I think. For some people the passion and the drive to follow a certain path is so burning, that it does not really matter if success comes or not, they just can't ever see themselves doing anything else. At these levels, money or no money, recognition or no recognition, it's all the same, they just NEED to do their thing to be alive.

For people without this all consuming passion, and the intent of being able at some point to pay their own bills , I think it makes sense giving themselves a time frame. One year or 5 years or ?, according to personal circumstances and finances. You give it your very best shot for that period, you do your best to make it happen, and if it does not, .. fast on to plan B. It's not a defeat or a failure. Our potential is limitless also in the sense that there is not only one dream for each of us, but many possible ones, and many ways we can excel and express our personalities and unique abilities. After all, .. perhaps it is better being a fantastic bank clerk or housewife, , than a mediocre performer , fashion designer etc.etc.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (20 June 2013):

YouWish agony aunt"Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?"

I think that looks good on a fortune cookie, or in one of those "Inspirational Quotes" booklets. But I think it's a trite and limiting saying.

People have limitless potential. But the cemeteries all around the world are lined with hard workers who "wanted" their dreams.

I have questions for you, and I'll clarify them:

1. How hard, and how many years, and how patient are you?

Many people go for their dreams, guns blazing, only to run out of patience and stamina and discipline. They get distracted, they get impatient and cut corners, and finally get off track.

2. Can you take rejection and criticism and grow iron skin?

When it comes to careers, you have to take every inch of ground that you can when you are advancing. Many people are terrified of being rejected for the dream job, so they either don't go for that job, or they don't go for the promotions or advancement needed to move forward. If you want to follow your dream, you need to be bullet-proof emotionally, because you will be passed over. You will find brick walls. People will criticize and reject your work, especially if you are an artist or someone in the public eye. The first Harry Potter book was rejected 12 times before it was picked up for publication. Had J.K. Rowling taken it personally and shut down emotionally, she would still be on public welfare instead of the billionaire she is now.

3. Are you versatile?

This means -- are you open to looking for your dream using ANY WAY necessary, or are you hung up on details? Some people get hung up that they *have* to be accepted by only the right college, or only the ONE single firm, or the ONE brand, or the ONE sports team to realize that there is more than one way to achieve your goal. They'd rather bang their head against the wall trying to get through it rather than go over it, under it, around it, or even ignore that wall and go searching for another one.

4. Do you have emotional baggage?

This speaks to your friends and family..and romantic relationships. Do you have friends who are likewise dedicated, talented, with similar goals and great intellects and insight? People don't stop to think that even if they have ardent dreams they want to follow, they need to be selective with who they share their life with. Toxic relationships, slackers, drug users,people going nowhere, people who are insecure in themselves so they must try to tear you down, and even family members who mean well, but their own baggage would try to sabotage you.

5. Are you talented?

Like others have said, if you have a voice like chalk running down a chalkboard, singing is probably not for you. If you show a talent in an area (which is likely if it's your dream job), that is a good thing. But like my friend who was a professor at Julliard once told me, the lists of people who fail to get into that school are lined with talented people. You need talent AND discipline. If you get touchy and defensive every time someone criticizes you, then you have a huge weakness that could stunt your dream. People need to learn how to take constructive criticism and use it to their advantage after vetting the source and motive. That speaks back to a thick skin.

6. Are you willing to discipline yourself financially?

This one is so much overlooked by people, but it is one of the biggest corroding cancers that can halt dreams and paralyze the dreamers. One credit check can mean the difference between that dream job and the sidelines. Credit Card debt can choke out opportunity. In the U.S. a CIA job or an FBI job or other Top secret level jobs require sterling credit, and you're not allowed to join with bad credit, because it's exploitable. Likewise, being a business owner will stop cold if the bank you're looking to ask for financing thinks you're not a good risk. Learn money management and live austere and frugally now WELL below your means. Save now, get rid of debt, and invest your money wisely. Show me a person unencumbered by debt and spending addiction, and I will show you a person who can do ANYTHING in life. Financial gluttony will wreck you just as much as food gluttony and speaks to impatience.

7. How's your health?

Stamina, health, image, discipline. I'm not talking about being vain, nor am I assuming your dream job is in modeling. But health is important. When you work with people, good health builds confidence and increases your abilities. A healthy person has more doors open to them. Drop bad health habits like fast food, comfort eating, sedentary lifestyles, and building good habits that will increase your performance and longevity. Work your INTELLECT as well!

I could easily add 30 more questions for you here, but I want you to succeed, and simply telling you "Sure, you can do anything" may feel good to you, but it won't help!

I believe you *can* do anything, but that means giving *everything*. You have to be extraordinary, and while people are off fretting about their problem relationships, their petty issues, nursing their offenses done against them, and wondering why they can't binge drink and spend $100 every Friday night and wonder why they're having a hard time concentrating, you stay focused on what you need to do.

It's not enough to say that you *can* do anything. It's making a blueprint to decide HOW you'll accomplish it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013):

Yes ,I really think many things are possible with effort !:)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 June 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI think so, IF you are being realistic with those dreams. For instance, no matter HOW hard I work at it, I'd never be a singer *chuckles* I just can't sing to save my life, never have.

Also, don't let "speedbumps" stop you, sometimes in life you just have to take some detours :)

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (19 June 2013):

With the right attitude, persistence and hard work you can achieve a lot. Certainly not everything. It depends on how ambitious, intelligent, and charismatic you are, among other factors that you can't really control.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2013):

I think that for the most part, it's always possible to succeed in some way with hard work. You might not get to the dizzy heights that some will (not everyone can reach the top), but you'll get somewhere.

And if nothing else, it's always best to try. You have nothing else to lose.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (19 June 2013):

shrodingerscat agony auntIn an ideal world, hard work and persistence would be ALL that would stand between us and our goals. Unfortunately, we live in the real world where sometimes our dreams simply can't or won't be realistically achieve-able.

It's -always- smart to be a realist and have a Plan B.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013):

Yes I really do! But you have to be willing to give it your all, even if that means working 365 days a year if necessary - ususlly it won't come to that,but you need will power. If you have that I'm sure you will succeed,

Good luck!

Xx

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (19 June 2013):

C. Grant agony auntHard work is important, for sure. But it has to be matched with ability and aptitude. There is nothing in this world that would make me an artist -- even my stick men are awful -- so it wouldn't make sense for me to put my effort in that direction. Success is more likely if you work with the endowment of talent you were born with.

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A female reader, Lolly_Poll United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2013):

I think it is dependent on what you want to do as a career choice. For example if you wanted to be a dancer, but had two left feet and could not dance at all, no amount of desire and passion would necessarily make you an award wining dancer. However, if it is something that is attainable, then nothing is stopping you other than yourself. I was told that I would be a failure and make nothing of myself throughout my schooling, however I now have a place at a top university after receiving 5 unconditional offers. Be realistic with yourself, if your career is genuinely obtainable then never let other people stand in your way. Even if it isn't, there's no harm in trying!

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