A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:You have probably read my other questions recently about my online potentials! Well, I've been talking to this girl recently who sounds really nice, and guess what, she asked me when we are going to meet up! I have been out with younger women before, but the age difference then was 9 years. This one is 11 (she is 23 I am just 34!) Any ideas for fun first dates? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (9 July 2013):
 I agree with Euphoric. It's not a great idea to have a first date coincide with an outing with friends. Even if she brings some of her friends, it just kinda diminishes your opportunities to have a one-on-one conversation with each other.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (9 July 2013):
Dear OP,
I'm sorry your date didn't show up. That's really rude.
As for your new question, no, I wouldn't ask a girl you met online to join you and your friends. Especially not for a first date. Why? Because she would face a group of strangers instead of just one. So she might feel left out or like a sidekick and it would be awkward to introduce her. "Hey guys, this is Lissy, we just chatted for the last two weeks and I've never met her in person before.." No, no no. It has to be a one-on-one date. I can understand you're more cautious after this first let-down, but I'm quite sure this is just an exception.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI arranged everything, a drink and a walk, and she didn't turn up!
Since then I have been messaging a girl on a dating website (for 2 weeks), we get on well, she even gave me her number! I am going for a few drinks with some friends on Saturday; should I ask her along?, and if so, when should I text her to ask?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 June 2013):
 I agree with Euphoric 29, a first date ( and a blind date too ! ) should never be too construed and complicated. Ideally, it should be planned as simple - and short.
First, it's really about talking,breaking ice and getting to know each other, which you won't do if you go, say, to a 3 hours Wagner's concert . Second, in case that either one feels there's no particular spark of interest and the date is going sort of bland - you have to leave them a way to back out graciously and unfussily. IF instead things are going famously , nothing easier than prolonging the date spur of the moment ( dinner THEN drinks , walk THEN movie etc. ), or ,if that's not possible , ...just fixing another date there and then.
So don't plan anything that would take up all day or all afternnon, and nothing too structured since so far you don't even know what she really likes .
It's summer, weather it's on your side in UK too. I think going to a nice sidewalk cafe' for
ice cream, people watching and chatting will be more than enough as a first time. Then, if you decide to meet up again, and you found you have common interests, you can plan to go to a museum if you are art lovers, to a flea market if you like old stuff,.. and so on and so forth.
But as a first time, keep it simple.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (22 June 2013):
Dear OP,
If I was you, I wouldn't plan too much about a first date - you can save that for when you know you like the woman (2nd, 3rd date).
Some bad first dates I remember were when the guy had a program in mind and forced me to stubbornly go along with it. I remember having to walk for over an hour in the afternoon heat in my uncomfortable high heels (I wanted to look good), just to go to the special cafe that the guy had in mind. By the time we arrived, I was soaked in sweat and had blisters on my feet, while he was all comfortable in his trekking sandals.
Also, I once was invited to a contemporary opera when I already mentioned I wasn't too much into contemporary music or operas.
So, if you figure out everything in advance and don't pay attention, you might forget what's really important: How the girl feels right now. Don't blindly try to impress by being original, but pay attention to her. If you planned a picnic but she's showing up in a white dress and high heels, ask her if it's okay to sit in the grass and everything. If it's raining and she doesn't have an umbrella, organize one before you go on a foot walk to the nice restaurant that you've planned. These are little things but they make a difference.
I would say it's best to have two or three options in your head and then decide spontaneously, with the girl, what to do.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (22 June 2013):
 Hi
How about a gallery then lunch, depends where you live in UK and what's available in the day. There might be a outdoor show or fair as its summertime which can be fun, chatting, eating hotdogs etc as you wander round
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2013): I'm 22 and I love date picnics.... Some good food, maybe homemade stuff to impress her, and a bottle of champagne/non alcoholic if you prefer. And just laying together on the grass talking about everything!
Maybe a stroll or a boat ride too :-)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 June 2013):
 How about a picnic? Look up and see if there are any concerts/play in the park (if you live near an area that does those). Find in your local paper some new bands and go listen, they might suck but it can be fun anyways.
What does she like? and what does she like to do?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (21 June 2013):
 For a first date I think people just want to talk and not be distracted by doing something active.
I always think a dinner date is nicer than meeting for a coffee, you can find out about eachothers tastes in food, enjoy the more relaxed atmosphere of the evening and everyone looks better at night lol!
If your CP means you are a bit dodgy on your feet, perhaps sitting down is a better option for starters.
( I am glad to see you have gotten round to meeting other people)
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (21 June 2013):
Is a long walk out of the question as well? It's so cliche, but that's my favorite first date setting: coffee shop/cafe followed by a walk around the city or a park.
I'm about your date's age, and I can tell you that we don't need all our dates to be super spectacular and energetic just because we're young. Save that for once you guys know a lot more about each other's interest, hobbies, and bucket list items. First dates are for getting to know each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIce Skating and swimming are out because I have got Cerebral Palsy (bit wobbly, nothing else) and I can't swim!
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