A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my ex boyfriend broke up with me 4mths ago, we didn't talk for a month, then he began talking back to me. we had arguments till he felt we shouldn't communicate, I will say fine and respect what he said, then he come and try talk again when I don't communicate at all, I will act cold and he will have a problem with it. I will end up talking to him then we will get in argument again and he will always bring up no communication or less communication which I hate because I know he is the one that communicate to me first after breaking his own words, why he is the one who got to say when he should talk to me or not, when it comes to me if someone said not to communicate whether through argument or not I respect what they say. Since we always end up talking back and again had an argument this one was huge over the phone. while arguing he show up after work just to argue with me again, instead of going to workout then blame me for him coming back to talk to me. I call him a douche bag and he is blind and stupid. he take it real hard and was angry and walk out. he give me back the phone I lent him. so I take it and put it in my desk at work. before I can get home he call me and tell me to call him please when I get home and use the number he call me with which is his brother's, I did he want to know if I have the phone for him to come pick it up at my home which is 3 miles from where he lives. I told him I didn't bring it home with me. we argue again and he tell me this time no communication and hang up on me. next morning when I get to work open my desk (which cannot be locked), my phone was missing, I asked who was in my desk, someone told me my ex boyfriend came in the office and went in my desk. we work for the same place just different sections. Now I am left with if to go harass him where he work for my phone, which will create scenes, not my style at all. he said don't communicate to him so what do I do? I am puzzled and confuse, how can one say no communication yet have the audacity to come and take what you don't even lend them. and now I am left with no communication. what should I do? I don't want him to think I harassing him like what he told my friends.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2013):
 Who is paying the bill for the phone? If YOU are then report it stolen and have it shut off.
And for goodness sake STOP taking to the dude!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 June 2013):
 You should colour your phone gone, buy a new one, and take it as a lesson to become asserive. People can only play games if you play along with them, and sorry but you called all this drama upon yourself big time. Broke up 4 months ago and still bothering to bicker and argue and exchange insults ?? what for ? what do you want from this guy ? You must want something, otherwise ... it would be so easy : YOU stop communications, whatever he says or feels about it. He can't talk to you if you act mute and deaf. He starts talking... but obviously you answer , why. Just slam the phone down, ignore him, don't answer texts, even better change number, block him on social media , tell security or your colleagues at work to not let him in when he shows up, - problem solved.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (21 June 2013):
 wow, no offense, but what an extremely unhealthy relationship you two have! no body should ever say things like that to each other. hopefully you both will eventually learn to move on and break this bad cycle.
technically, he stole your phone. you could get him in trouble if you really wanted to. but it's not harassing him to get the phone back. it belongs to you! you should go to his part of the office and get it. or call that number and get him to bring it back to you or you'll report it stolen. or last suggestion - get a friend at work to go get it from him. that way, you're not breaking the "no communication" thing.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, VioletMoon +, writes (21 June 2013):
First off, you are not a victim of this man. Meaning you did not have to agree to any contact that he wanted to have with you. You could've said no to any further communications at any time.
At this point, I would forget about the phone. If you try to get it back you will have a big fight on your hands and not give you the phone.
You have had way too much trauma and drama with this man already. Do you really want more?
Just simply pull yourself back from him and make a committment to yourself not to have any thing further to do with him. It would be a good time to work on learning how to love yourself and take good care of yourself.
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