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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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What should I get my good friend...for her birthday?
Q. What should i get my friend for her birthday? We are not in a relationship,but i do have feelings for her. She got me something for my birthday so i feel that i need to get her something. Unfortunately i have no idea what to get her. I asked advice ...
A. 19 January 2008: I agree with the other readers, jewelry is too personal. You could hedge your bet and get her the CD and bring along a single red rose with it... If she smiles at the rose, it might just be the opening to something more than just friendship.... (read in full...)
My husband told me to sleep with another man, I have and liked it,will we have problems?
Q. my husband, of two years,. has given me permission to have sex with other men. i did not ask him for this, he just told me it was ok one day while we were raking the yard (why, when we were raking the yard...wouldn't bed be a better place...but ...
A. 19 January 2008: Are you sure that he's not depressed? I have always been in the art community, and most artists can tear themselves away from a piece for dinner and an evening out with the missus. It sounds like kind-of obsessive-compulsive behavior. Have you ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to go places, for fear that people will ridicule me or bully me!
Q. sometimes i am afraid to go out, because i'm afraid people are going to make fun of me, laugh at me, and call me names such as ugly, EW, and etc.There was this one situation during summer I was at a store a random women told her friend that I am ...
A. 19 January 2008: I am so sorry that these morons hurt your feelings. Be thankful that you have those feelings, the idiots that called you names obviously don't have any feelings at all. Do you ever put other people down in order to make yourself feel better? Do ... (read in full...)
I've been told he's a user but he seems interested. Should I date him?
Q. Ok i'll try and keep it short: Last night I went for a meal with a friend, and having just finished this guy and his friend came over said hi and later I bumped into him in another pub. I felt a attraction to him straightaway, when my friend decided ...
A. 19 January 2008: If you are expecting a leopard to change his spots, you can't be surprised when he doesn't. If you are going to put your heart on the line with a guy that you already know is a user, and he stopped texting you the minute that you didn't go along ... (read in full...)
I want to hurt him, nor have any reminders of him. Should I return his gifts?
Q. Hello there, My ex and I have been seperated 6 months ago for the best. We have been meeting up every now and then trying to remain friends and he is seeing someone else right now. Only until recently, I managed to get something out of him and h...
A. 19 January 2008: The proper time to return gifts to an ex is right after the break-up. If you have kept them all this time and suddenly want to give them back, it's going to appear petty, vengeful or just simply going to let him know that your feelings have been ... (read in full...)
He's disappointed that I won't give him a handjob.
Q. Please help. My boyfriend has been begging me to give him a hand job. He says that I don't meet him half way when having sexual fun. I told him I don't like it but then he seemed disappointed. What can I do?...
A. 19 January 2008: You are very young and it's not "sexual fun", it's a form of having sex. If you aren't comfortable doing this, tell your boyfriend NO. Your body, your rules. It isn't always necessary to "go to the next step", especially if you aren't happy about ... (read in full...)
I was just wondering . . . . ?
Q. i was just wondering how many people end up with a person that they went out with when they were younger??...
A. 19 January 2008: Sorry, I didn't explain. I met my husband when I was in high school and he was in University. He was 18 and I was 17. We are now 52 and 53. We have two grown kids. I can't say that it has been my experience that many couple we have know have ... (read in full...)
I was just wondering . . . . ?
Q. i was just wondering how many people end up with a person that they went out with when they were younger??...
A. 19 January 2008: Me! Yay!... (read in full...)
Is soap a good 'lube'?
Q. is it safe to have sex in the shower when soap is used as a sort of lub...
A. 19 January 2008: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! That just made the hairs on my arms stand up. No, it's not a good lube and will burn and sting.
... (read in full...)
My right breast is larger than my left - is this normal?
Q. I'm 17, and I've noticed that my right breast is bigger than my left one. Is this normal? It's not looads bigger, but quite a fair bit. I read a story in a magazine once about a girl needing surgery because one was significantly bigger, and now I'm ...
A. 19 January 2008: Yep. Breasts are never absolutely perfectly symmetrical, so having one bigger than the other is normal. It isn't very often that one if SO much bigger that they need to have any surgical intervention, that's a very small percentage. So, no ... (read in full...)
How can I persuade her that sex is not repulsive?
Q. There is a major problem with my relationship. My partner thinks sex is repulsive. We have not engaged in any physical acts other that kissing and such but nothing sexual in nature. She was brought up very conservatively and strictly on the nature ...
A. 18 January 2008: I agree with the other posters that say to be extremely patient with her. If you are, and you show her that you are constant in your affection towards her, I suspect eventually that with a bit of encouragement, Mother nature in the shape of ... (read in full...)
Why is it that I can only get aroused through imagination, and not in reality?
Q. Im an 18 year old virgin. My problem is that i can only get aroused by fantasy/imagination... as in imagining myself having sex with certain people that im involved with.. however, when I am actually with them, I just cant get aroused for some ...
A. 18 January 2008: I think initially that we all are a bit self-conscious about our sex lives and how our minds work. The largest sexual organ is the brain. Sex is entirely between the ears! And I think as women, we all have this little guilty thing about having ... (read in full...)
At the moment I want to be his friend rather than his partner. Am I wrong?
Q. I don't know how to tell mt bf that i want a break. It may sound easy but the situtation that surrounds it is difficult. My bf is into his third week of quitting drugs and alcohol. He has been violent but not towards me and has threatened to kill ...
A. 18 January 2008: I think that you are very wise to step back a bit while he is sorting all of this out. These are his problems, he has to own them and he has to conquer them. If you have the time, perhaps joining Al-Anon could help you sort through your own ... (read in full...)
Is it weired to call your Baby, the same name as your EX.
Q. Hi! I was just wondering-- my boyfriend and I are having a baby boy due this March, and my absolute favorite name that i have picked out just happens to be the name of this guy i used to hook up with... i want that name so bad but it's kind of ...
A. 18 January 2008: I'm quite sure that you will find that once you meet your baby, and name him, it will be his name and his alone, and any past association that you have of it being your ex's name will be the furthest thing form your mind. Just make sure that it's a ... (read in full...)
How do I 'burn' the past?
Q. It was my first love 6 years back, we were crazily inlove with each other. After a year things became distant and disturbed. One fine day he called it off...but after some discussions, we decided, we will try our best. But then things turned for the ...
A. 18 January 2008: Ooohh. That's kind of weird, don't you think? To believe in that? I would just ignore any part of what you have heard and don't entertain any "truth" in it. If you dwell on that possibility, spells or charms or even luck for that matter, or ... (read in full...)
How do I 'burn' the past?
Q. It was my first love 6 years back, we were crazily inlove with each other. After a year things became distant and disturbed. One fine day he called it off...but after some discussions, we decided, we will try our best. But then things turned for the ...
A. 17 January 2008: When a man becomes that distant and disturbed, and doesn't answer your questions, there is usually a reason, Dear. The thought has probably crossed your mind. He most likely had his mind elsewhere because he was seeing another woman. You probably ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of this spot?
Q. I am thinking of mayb takin it further with my boyfriend. I am ready to have sex but there is one thing that is pulling me back and that is i have a stubble down below. Is there anyway i can get a clean shave with out waxing as i am allergic to the ...
A. 17 January 2008: I find "Bikini Zone" cream helps with preventing ingrown hairs. There isn't, unfortunately, anything that is 100% effective at preventing all of those little bumps. The creams that they give you after waxing usually smell like they have something ... (read in full...)
Just want to tell everyone and the whole world....I'M IN LOVE!!
Q. im in love wooooooo! im aware this isnt a question but i wanted to tell the world =]...
A. 17 January 2008: YAY! Lucky You! There is NOTHING in the world like Young Love!
XXX... (read in full...)
I want to ask this girl at work out, but we've never talked, how do I approach her?
Q. How do you go about asking someone out you like but have never really talked to before? Im a kind of shy/quiet guy and theres a girl a really like that i work with, only problem is she works on a different department and iv never had the chance to ...
A. 17 January 2008: You can always grease the wheels a bit by bumping into her just before break time with a full tray of coffee from Starbucks and offer her one! Use the excuse that someone else ordered one and left for the day. Then talk! If she says "No, Thanks", ... (read in full...)
Are there any creams or remedies that dimiss the hurt during the "first night"?
Q. I am 22 and I am a virgin. More so, I am a virgin who just got engaged. I really want to have sex and so does my man - not that hes pressuring me at all. The problem is every time I try it hurts too much... i've used copious amounts of lube ...
A. 16 January 2008: The creams aren't effective because you need a muscle relaxer. The pain is like an endless circle, the fear of pain causes the vagina to clamp down even more.
A doctor's diagnosis is like a triangle. It is based on three things. The Doct... (read in full...)
Is he too young for me? Will he let me down too?
Q. A friend I've had for 5 months has told me he likes me. We kissed the other night and I really like him - I got that lovely crazy lustful feeling :o) The only problem is, my last ex (who I lived with) was a few years younger than me. He turned o...
A. 16 January 2008: He sounds like a nice, young man. I would go very slowly here. He does sound very mature and dependable, but from the sounds of things, he has a lot on his plate. I would definitely go very slow here.... (read in full...)
Am I being a bitch by saying mean things about her?
Q. ok i am 14 and i really like this boy but he claims too love another girl. we have meet once and he said i was good looking and i am a nice girl. i thought i would go on the girl "he claims love" myspace to see what she looks like shes not ugly bu...
A. 16 January 2008: You want to call this girl names because you think that you are in competition with her for this boy's affections, but he has already told you that he loves her.
Some guys like big women, some guys like blondes, some guys like tiny women, some guys... (read in full...)
Are there any creams or remedies that dimiss the hurt during the "first night"?
Q. I am 22 and I am a virgin. More so, I am a virgin who just got engaged. I really want to have sex and so does my man - not that hes pressuring me at all. The problem is every time I try it hurts too much... i've used copious amounts of lube ...
A. 16 January 2008: By the way, It's called "Vaginismus" and you can google it on Wiki and read all about it. Hope this helped!
XXX... (read in full...)
Are there any creams or remedies that dimiss the hurt during the "first night"?
Q. I am 22 and I am a virgin. More so, I am a virgin who just got engaged. I really want to have sex and so does my man - not that hes pressuring me at all. The problem is every time I try it hurts too much... i've used copious amounts of lube ...
A. 16 January 2008: Hi,
A few women have extreme pain because the muscles clench up in the vagina, but this doesn't happen very often. It can be caused by fear, anxiety from trying beforehand and previously having pain, or it can come from hang-up from your upbr... (read in full...)
Your general thoughts of the uncircumcised penis?
Q. Hi im 17 years old and i am affraid that my penis is too small. it only measures 5.5 inches when errect. please help???? Also i was wondering what people thought about circumsized penises? by the way im circumsized....
A. 16 January 2008: I believe that that is about the absolute average size for a penis, and most statistics will bear that out. The guys who write in to Penthouse are usually starting to measure from a few inches behind their butts! lol! AND guys in porn usually get ... (read in full...)
A move means we will break up. What should I do?
Q. My family are planning on moving house but I don't want to. Mainly because I am with a girl I know I could spend the rest of my life with, but we've both agreed that we mean so much to each other, a long-distance relationship wouldn't work. What...
A. 15 January 2008: Honestly, it's worth a try! How far apart will you be? What are the circumstances? Can you visit each toher? Will you have the opportunity or the funds? What's the worst that could happen, break up now or break up later?... (read in full...)
My uncle is the 'town nutjob'...what can I do to get him from hurting our family?
Q. My uncle is ruining our lives. He (Let's just call him "Bob") lives on the same street as us and he is becoming absolutely unbearable. I have felt increasingly suicidal due to this man and he is making me ill. I do not want to be related to him as ...
A. 15 January 2008: First off, people who use Christianity as tool to become judgemental haven't got a clue what exactly Christianity is all about. Judge not lest ye be judged - is a perfect example of where your Uncle is truly being the Mental in judgemental. He is ... (read in full...)
In love with my best friend, please help........
Q. We've been very good friends since our childhood.These days I hardly get the opportunity to meet her as we both are busy with our jobs,but that really didn't affect our friendship. I love her from the bottom of my heart,but I could never express ...
A. 15 January 2008: If she says that she wishes that you could meet more often, and isn't replying "EEeewwhhh" or joking about your romantic messages, I think it's very possible that she may like you too.
If you are worried and don't want to lose her friendship, but ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to be 'just' friends with a guy who wants to date me?
Q. hi i have a boyf of 3 years who i love very much. but i have a male friend who i get along really well with, i dont have any romantic feelings for him but i know he does for me, but he knows i am with someone. we txt alot and see eachother on nights ...
A. 15 January 2008: I think that if you know that he likes you other than a as a friend, and he has feelings for you, you are leading him on. And the thing basschick said is right, your boyfriend probably wouldn't like you texting all the time if he knew that this guy ... (read in full...)
A move means we will break up. What should I do?
Q. My family are planning on moving house but I don't want to. Mainly because I am with a girl I know I could spend the rest of my life with, but we've both agreed that we mean so much to each other, a long-distance relationship wouldn't work. What...
A. 15 January 2008: My husband lived in Amsterdam for 16 months when we had a 12 year old and a 14 year old. He lived in Toronto for 4 months when we had a 2 year old. He lived in London when I was living in the Netherlands with a 14 year old. We've been married for ... (read in full...)
Did I say something wrong? What else was I supposed to say? I don't understand why she reacted like that.
Q. Hey weird fight with my girlfriend the other day and I am so confused. what is the appropriate response in this sort of situation: We went to a party at a mutual friends house. One of the guys there brought along a new girlfriend to introduce ...
A. 15 January 2008: If your girlfriend ever asks if another woman is attractive, the standard answer is NO or Not as attractive as you are, Dear. It's obvious by her asking that she was insecure about this particular other female, so just tell a little white lie. ... (read in full...)
He has a new gf and they are lovey dovey in front of me..should I switch seminar groups?
Q. Hi everyone. I broke up with my boyfriend and he left me for another girl in my seminar group here on campus. Whenever I am there they are lovey dovey in front of me and I am still having trouble dealing with it. I have been trying my best to ignore ...
A. 15 January 2008: Are you able to concentrate enough to pass the course? Make sure that you get there early enough to sit down front instead of behind them, so you don't have to look at the display that he is putting on.
If you have a really good-looking frie... (read in full...)
Light bleeding ..am I pregnant or its due to the pill?
Q. if i had an unprotected sex on the last day of my periods i wasnt bleeding though then a couple of hours later i took the contraceptive pill but a week later i again got a light bleeding ..am i pregnant or its due to the pill??...
A. 15 January 2008: I'm not sure that I understand. If you mean that you have been on the pill on a regular basis, and you were just on the days off part of the cycle, and the same day you started the next round of your cycle pills, then you should be fine. But if ... (read in full...)
How do I walk away from someone I love so much?
Q. hey, i wrote in a cuple weeks ago asking should i stay or walk away from my married boyfriend, the thing is. i got 1 reply saying stay, i saying leave and 1 saying run. the thing is i no he's not happy where he is. i no he's not. if you read my f...
A. 14 January 2008: I didn't read your last question or the postings, but every man who cheats on his wife Always, ALWAYS says that he is in an "unhappy marriage". It says a lot about a persons character that they would stray on their spouse. You might not want to ... (read in full...)
How early can I take a pregnancy test? Do I HAVE to wait until my next period?
Q. Hi. On Friday night I had unprotected sex, which I know was stupid and everything, but now I'm worried I could be pregnant. I was just wondering whats the earliest I could possibly take the test?? I'd only just come off my period when we did it, ...
A. 14 January 2008: You can take the morning after pill up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. You still have time. GO to your Doctor or a Clinic NOW. ... (read in full...)
How can I help my wife cope with her grief??
Q. hi, I need some help my father in law died 2 weeks ago and as you may tell my wife is not too good at the moment. Well at first she wouldn't talk to me or anything or even hug me because she was frigthened that she would start crying and not be a...
A. 13 January 2008: Hi,
I'm so sorry for your wife's and your loss.
I lost my Dad on September 27th last year. It's been only 3 and a half months for me. The fact is, there isn't any set pattern for grief. There may be a lot of stages to go through, but everyone... (read in full...)
He jokingly said I am not active whilst in the missionary position, when HE is in charge. Any suggestions - to surprise him?
Q. Usually, me and my partner have sex in the missionary position. I'm not sure I like this as much as I did to begin with though, for several reasons. 1) It's hard to change into other positions, as he is in charge. 2) He jokes that I don't do much ...
A. 12 January 2008: Here's a few tips for a bit more control. Put a pillow under your butt to tip your pelvis upwards, it can help. You can grip behind under his butt with your heels and pull him in. You can also wrap your legs around the small of his back. You can ... (read in full...)
He says we cannot share a relationship as he does not have a cell phone - to be able to maintain contact. Should I stay away?
Q. I lost my virginity to this guy a few months ago. Since then we talk. I want a relationship but he doesn't. He says he likes me, but it would be hard to be in a relationship because he doesn't have a cell phone and it wouldn't be fair to me ...
A. 11 January 2008: What a load of horse-manure. Is it a "Magic" cell phone? Wow! Pulling this on you after sleeping with you and then telling you that you can wait if you want to. He's a real prince among men, isn't he?
I'm sorry, Honey, but I agree with all ... (read in full...)
My husband is a lovely man but we have become... companions. Facing a new start at this age is frightening, what alternatives do I have, you think?
Q. Am in the middle of a divorce have been married for thirty years to a lovely man. However we have been just friends best mates now for apprx 5 years. I cant imagine what life will be like without him but also know if we dont end this now I will ...
A. 11 January 2008: Have you tried counseling in the face of all of this? I might suggest personal counseling as well. Why on earth is it up to him when they are both your children and they are at this age? If YOU allow your daughter to talk to you that way to you ... (read in full...)
Why is I seen as so acceptable for boys to masturbate but not girls?
Q. why is i seen as so acceptable for boys to masturbate but not girls?...
A. 11 January 2008: It's a misconception, Dear. It's a perfectly normal habit for both men and women and the "safest sex" that there is! How else can you enjoy your sexuality if you don't know how your own body works? Practice makes perfect!... (read in full...)
Heartbroken that this guy loves somebody else...but what is wrong with me??
Q. Ok, I really like this boy i thought finaly i have found someone who seems decent has no girlfreind and i have a chance with i started talking to him about 2 days before new years day. So about last week it was going great but then he had some...
A. 10 January 2008: Don't give up so quickly. And if he asks you to meet up, then meet up with him. I meet with him regardless of what is on his phone. It's not quite the same thing as him telling you that he's got a girlfriend that he's in love with, so until he ... (read in full...)
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