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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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I confronted him about him giving his number out and now he is calling me possessive and sick.
Q. Hi.. i've been having lot of problems lately with my boyfriend.. i've been with him for 8years now. He is a good guy but i got to know that he mailed a friend of his(female)gave her his no and never bothered to let me know... i happened to find out...
A. 30 January 2008: Give him all the space he needs. If that is the way he talked to you for the first time after not speaking to you in days, he doesn't have any remorse at all. He is a bully. Dump him and find someone who treats you better. If you think that that ... (read in full...)
Why am I attracted physically to the guy I'm not really close to?
Q. I think i have a crush on a boy,but when i am with him i feel like i am with my best friend,and i never think of us kissing or anything. But then there's another boy that i don't have a crush on (i think) and i don't know him extremely well,but i am ...
A. 29 January 2008: You don't have to act on your feelings. It's perfectly normal to have conflicting emotions and confused feelings about boys that you like and are attracted to. Just because you are attracted to someone, doesn't even mean that you will like him the ... (read in full...)
The other guy wants me to choose. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating a guy (Guy A) for about 8 months and I do think I love him. About 4 months ago I met someone else (Guy B). He is very good to me and I do enjoy spending time with him but feel guilty doing so. Guy A says he is not in a "hurry" ...
A. 29 January 2008: Whose live is it anyway? You don't have to make an immediate choice here! I would just continue dating both of them until I was sure. I would refuse to entertain discussing either of them with each other and do as you please until you are certain ... (read in full...)
How can I find out if he said it only because of a dare?
Q. I'm 13 years old. I just found out something. The boy in my class who said he loved me, he was dared to say it. what do u think?...
A. 29 January 2008: I don't think that he would say it even as a dare if he didn't like you at all. So, it probably means that he doesn't hate you and probably likes you a bit. Well, at least, that's what I think. ... (read in full...)
How can we get his ex to leave us alone?
Q. I've known my boyfriend 12 years then we got together. I have a fear of losing my boyfriend because his ex (who was with for 4 years) messed with and is still messing with his head. She’s crazy, she stalks him and talks to friends and family about ...
A. 29 January 2008: If she IS an unfit mother and is smoking all day long, you should consider him asking for custody of the child. Unfortunately, you are going to be tied to her through his child for life, so HE has to learn how to handle her.
If you are both answ... (read in full...)
Happily married with a future in front of us...but I feel like I'm stuck in a rut.
Q. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I'm happily married to a great man with our whole future ahead of us...or so you'd think. I hate my job. I hate it so much its stressing me out and making me ill. I've been ill all year so far and I know its my job t...
A. 29 January 2008: I don't see which country you are from. Do you have unemployment or another type of relief from the government in order to quit while you look for work? It sounds like a particularly toxic working environment if it is actually making you sick to ... (read in full...)
Does pregnancy cause a smelly vagina?
Q. I am 7 months pregnant, and my vagina smells really bad every day, it sweats a lot more than it used to (I don't remember it ever sweating before). I will shower daily, and wash and rinse 3 different times with soap and hot water. But by that ...
A. 29 January 2008: I usually have a bath every day and swish water around inside myself, but only at the beginning of my bath so that there is nothing but pure water. Water is ph neutral and is perfectly fine for our vaginas. I find that I smell forever if I don't ... (read in full...)
I confronted him about him giving his number out and now he is calling me possessive and sick.
Q. Hi.. i've been having lot of problems lately with my boyfriend.. i've been with him for 8years now. He is a good guy but i got to know that he mailed a friend of his(female)gave her his no and never bothered to let me know... i happened to find out...
A. 29 January 2008: Talk about an overreaction. When someone reacts that extremely to what most people would consider a normal request between a couple that are in a relationship, they are hiding something. I think that Waterloo Sunset and Annalisa are right, he may ... (read in full...)
Been trying to concieve for awhile..and now I have to ask--am I pregnant ??
Q. ok here goes. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 18 months and no luck yet. BUT i feel pregnant this month...does that sound weird? I have a bad lower back, twinges and aches in my womb and more so towards the left around the ovary, I ...
A. 29 January 2008: Yep. That's a pretty good sign. One of the weirder things about pregnancy is that it can affect your nasal passages. BUT let's not put the cart before the horse. Test can be effective 5 days before you period, so If you can't wait, take one ... (read in full...)
Two girls are after me but I only like one
Q. i'm 11 and their is this girl at school and she's liked me for about 6 months and i've had a few feelings for her but then there's this other girl who likes me and she's after me and now shes going through puberty she told me and she gets really ...
A. 29 January 2008: Laura's right. Tell your Mom to call her Mom. I'll bet her Mom has no idea what she's been up to with all the phone calls. ... (read in full...)
I found messages between my husband and his ex on the internet,he went out with her, I can't get over the hurt
Q. I need advise on somthing that is tearing me apart. I have been happily married for 8 years and my husband and i have a great life together. I will get to the point, he has been using Facebook for the past couple of months and comes home an...
A. 28 January 2008: Hi,
It sounds like you have had a lot of personal crisis' going on in your life, one on top of the other.
I think that intent is everything. I have a facebook account and have been in touch with old friends from high school, guys and girls an... (read in full...)
My ex's best friend is getting on my nerves, how can I handle this?
Q. I split with my boyfriend early December last year after a few weeks together, I've seen him, but not spoken to him since. I never had sex with him as I was not ready. Anyway, I always see his mate marc down the pub, and when ever I go there an...
A. 28 January 2008: They're only doing it to you to get a reaction, and it's obvious that he either still likes you or he felt like the one left behind in the split. The only thing to do is laugh it off when he does it. Have a great time and ignore him. Brush lint ... (read in full...)
Mom died, and my family is turning their backs on me, what can I do?
Q. I rang my Mom on Tuesday and was told by my sister on Tuesday that my mom had six weeks left to live. My sister had contacted everyone else in the family but me. My mom is in the US and I live in Ireland. I gathered up my resources and rang my Mom ...
A. 28 January 2008: Hello,
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. It's hard to say goodbye to your last parent, regardless of the relationship that you have with them while you were together. It does feel a bit like being orphaned, all of a sudden, you are the adul... (read in full...)
My best friend wants to take me to a hotel for sex, I need advice!
Q. My best friend and I have been hooking up. No sex. just kissing and stuff. But, recently he had the idea of going to a hotel and just having sex. I'm well up for it when he asked, and he isnt making me, but I'm so afraid I'll get attatched. He says ...
A. 28 January 2008: Women do get attached to guys that they become lovers with. It's the way we're built. If you already know that he doesn't like you "that way", and you sound like you are falling for him already, I suspect that you are letting yourself in for a lot ... (read in full...)
I want to go on the "Pill", how do I go about it?
Q. need advice on the pill really, i really want to go on it but ive never had sex and never had really bad periods really, thing is i dont fully understand it any advice on the pill plz ...
A. 28 January 2008: You have to see your Doctor to get a prescription. The pill makes your body think it is "pregnant". There are different doses, some can give you a lighter, 3 day period, there is one that lets you have your period only 4 times a year. Keep track ... (read in full...)
Two girls are after me but I only like one
Q. i'm 11 and their is this girl at school and she's liked me for about 6 months and i've had a few feelings for her but then there's this other girl who likes me and she's after me and now shes going through puberty she told me and she gets really ...
A. 28 January 2008: You don't have any obligation to like someone just because they like you. If this girl likes to fight, all the more reason to stay away from her. You have every right to like the girl that you like. Don't let yourself be bullied or swayed by her ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't contribute much to marriage.
Q. Who's responsible for doing what? I am having a very hard time understanding what is suppose to go on in my marrage. I am married almost four years and I get frustrated because I feel my wife does not contribute enough to this marrage. On the ...
A. 28 January 2008: Like Peoriaman said, there are no set rules. But carping about everything that she DOESN'T do is a sure way to set yourself up for a lot of arguments and grief. If you can, sit down together and make a list of jobs you both hate. Then make a list ... (read in full...)
Shocked and hurt that he suggested, I clear off my huge debt!
Q. I have been with my partner for a year and just recently we bought a home together. I came to the relationship with £7000 debt on my credit card and he agreed that this should go on our mortgage as the interest rate was cheaper. We were talking abou ...
A. 28 January 2008: It's the equivalent of $14,000. The amount that it will cost on her mortgage, if paid over 25 years, will be $140,000.... (read in full...)
Pregnant and worried..that I may be having a miscarriage! Help!
Q. I'm just over 8 weeks pregnant. I've had alot of dischargey stuff since finding out I'm pregnant and read alot of women do. But today I noticed it's going a beige colour and I don't think this is normal and it's starting to worry me, could I be h...
A. 28 January 2008: I'm pretty sure that beige is perfectly normal. They only start to worry if it's bright red and you are cramping. I actually had spotting occasionally, sometimes after sex. It can also happen around the time that your period would have started. ... (read in full...)
What do people think of the pill for contraception?
Q. I've been seriously thinking about contraception lately and i'm not sure which way to go. I'm going to make a family planning appointment to talk things through with a professional but i'd like some opinions from other people too. I'd like to go...
A. 28 January 2008: Good for you for backing up the condom with a regular form of birth control. And please, use a condom ALL the time until you marry. You are the one who is protecting your future fertility, and the best way is a condom, every time.
When my d... (read in full...)
I want to move abroad with my daughter. Where do I stand legally in regards to her father?
Q. Hi i want to take my daughter to live abroad.Iwas not married to the father however he is on the birth certificate,how do i stand legally?...
A. 28 January 2008: I'm Canadian. Ten years ago, it started getting harder and harder to travel without a signed and notarized letter from my husband saying that I could travel independently with our children. I think that you should consult a lawyer in your case. ... (read in full...)
Do Mum's appreciate honesty about the sexual behaviors of their teens?
Q. I know all about different types of contraception and the effects and side-effects and popularity of all different types of contraception. I'm trying to be very open with my mum about everything but obviously not too much detail and i was just won...
A. 28 January 2008: As a Mom who has gone through this in the recent past, my kids are 22 and 26, I can honestly say that opening the doors and talking gave me the opportunity to give them the benefit of my experience without being judgmental. I read a great article ... (read in full...)
Shocked and hurt that he suggested, I clear off my huge debt!
Q. I have been with my partner for a year and just recently we bought a home together. I came to the relationship with £7000 debt on my credit card and he agreed that this should go on our mortgage as the interest rate was cheaper. We were talking abou ...
A. 27 January 2008: The financial side of the relationship IS a business. It's a good thing that one of you has a business head on their shoulders, 7,000 on a credit card is a large amount amount of debt. I'm eternally grateful that my husband has a good business ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I kept my part of the bragin but he never kept his...
Q. I have had a boyfriend for 3 years, he was the best thing in my life i did everything for him. This year our relationshiop I feel is falling apart because what people say about us really hurts our feelings. On the first day of the second term ...
A. 27 January 2008: It's very hard to go against the wishes of your parents at your age. This is especially true when he has a parent that is abusive. Try to think of it this way, if meeting him secretly is going to put him in harm's way, wouldn't a more loving ... (read in full...)
Huckabee's all wrong
Q. Ok.. This is kind of a touchy question, and I'm not even sure if I should be asking this or not. But I'm going to anyway.. just cuz I have very strong feelings about this. (as would anyone and their religion.) I'm LDS (a mormon) and there's...
A. 27 January 2008: I don't know very much about the Mormon faith. My husband was researching our family background and we found out that the Mormon Church has the largest archive of births and deaths in the world, and that this came about from a calling to record all ... (read in full...)
We were going to stay mates after splitting but she doesn't seem interested. Should I let it go?
Q. Dear cupid, To begin with, I had dated this girl during summer and the fallin year. She goes to a different school than me.[private].Well when we broke up, we promise that we contact with one another.But suddenly weeks later, we both didnt call ...
A. 26 January 2008: You haven't moved on if you are still thinking about her. The point of remaining friends only works if you have moved on. This is a catch-22. If you haven't learned this yet in school, you will probably learn it this year! It's probably for the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is calling himself "Big Daddy" at work..what would YOU do?
Q. Ladies: I have a quick question for you. If you found some receipts that your boyfriend had signed at work signed "Big Daddy" how would you react? I found a couple of them so far and I'm wondering if I should even say anything about them. Please ...
A. 26 January 2008: Does he have a secretary? You should become very good friends with her. Find out his schedule and where is is planning on having lunch or dinner. Then just pop in! Not nice, but very effective... *evil grin* ... (read in full...)
A question for girls...have any of you ever masturbated like this??
Q. I have always wondered if anybody else has ever masturbated this way or if it was just me. What I used to do a lot (I rarely do it this way anymore) was to prop myself completely off the floor by holding myself up with my hands and leaning over the ...
A. 26 January 2008: I guess this is cheaper than dial-up phone sex! Perhaps we can hook-up all the porn hubbies and the ones who are doing on line searches for girls with this one question?
... (read in full...)
Pregnant, homeless and confused....
Q. I was 5 months pregnant when my Husband asked me to leave our home because he said he was miserable due to our fighting and bickering. We used to fight about fidelity issues on my behalf. Prior to me getting pregnant, he said he was over those ...
A. 26 January 2008: I'm with Waterloo Sunset. Why on earth did you leave home? You have legal rights here! Stay put at your parents house and get legal council. You need to think about you and the baby right now. He should be supporting the child and you have a ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on where I can get a vibrator from?
Q. i'm 16 and i like to masturbate but when i do it's always just with my fingers. i really want a vibrator but it's not like i can just go buy one and there's no way my mom would ever buy me one. what should i do? any ideas on things i can use that...
A. 26 January 2008: Lots of local shops, drug stores and discount shops sell "personal neck massagers" - LOL - so all you need is cash and a bus route! If you have access to a cheque or credit card, on-line is the easiest way to shop, and they usually ship discreetly ... (read in full...)
Why would she think that
Q. i think my close freind thinks i fancy her when i totally do not! on thursday we were sitting in the hall and i was looking at some girls who were saying things about me and she started to pull down her skirt and look at me weirdly.i said "why are...
A. 26 January 2008: It just sounds like a misunderstanding. I'd say don't worry about it and forget it.... (read in full...)
I'm not Asian so could we be compatible
Q. I have a question about a guy I am interested in that I may be starting to date (assuming he moves things forward with me). He has been separated for three years and his divorce paperwork is with the lawyers. His ex-wife is not contesting the ...
A. 26 January 2008: No, Really, write to me at my mailbox...... (read in full...)
I don't want the abortion...But they're all pressuring me!
Q. I'm 17 and 8-9 weeks pregnant. I have my first midwife appointment on the 25th February. My boyfriend and parents are basically forcing me into an abortion that I don't want because I KNOW that after it I will be a wreck. Sure abortion is for ...
A. 26 January 2008: I don't think that anyone can tell you what is right for you or whether or not you should have this child or not. No one has the right to tell you how you should feel about your own views on abortion or how you should feel about this pregnancy. If ... (read in full...)
My friends fiance keeps coming onto me! How do I deal with this?
Q. i've been friends with my mate for about 3 years now. of all my friends she's the craziest and wildist. then she met a bloke fell in love and after 2 months she got engaged. she then fell pregnant (having both decided they wanted a baby straight ...
A. 26 January 2008: If they were married already, or if they were tied together already by having a child, I would say that you should tell him to back off and that if it ever happens again you would tell her. But because they are technically single, and just about to ... (read in full...)
Secretly in love with my wife's sister. I realise my marriage was a mistake. What next?
Q. what if you can't stand being married to the person you've married. what if after years of being married you realize that you've made a mistake. what if your marriage has turned out to be that you thought you could change the person you married, ...
A. 26 January 2008: The last time that you slept with you wife is when you were 15 after 10 years of marriage? Are you from the backwoods or do we have the wrong figures here? Could we have some more details please?... (read in full...)
What is rape
Q. i'm only 13 years old and I posted a question about a boy in my class rubbing against me while i was pinned against my locker. do you think he was trying to rape me?...
A. 26 January 2008: What he did was really bizarre and inappropriate. It wasn't rape, but it was assault of a sexual nature. What concerns me the most is that he would do this spontaneously, without any permission from you. Please don't put yourself in any position... (read in full...)
He has his cake and eats it
Q. Ok. I had an affair with a man I am in love with and he is in love with me. I got a divorce and he didn't. He told me he couldn't leave because of his small child. He does not want to lose his child or have his child growing up being shameful of ...
A. 26 January 2008: Probably until the child is 18. Are you prepared to wait that long? She sounds like she is fighting for her man! I guess you will know the truth when she becomes pregnant again... Don't forget, all of the information that you are getting ... (read in full...)
I'm not Asian so could we be compatible
Q. I have a question about a guy I am interested in that I may be starting to date (assuming he moves things forward with me). He has been separated for three years and his divorce paperwork is with the lawyers. His ex-wife is not contesting the ...
A. 26 January 2008: I think that I would just take things very slowly and see how it all develops. He might have simply been that involved because of proximity, "any port in a storm", and not for any other reason. I think the bigger "red flag" is how you felt about ... (read in full...)
Do you think she is someone he would like to have an affair with??
Q. I have recently found out that my long term partner of 10 years has been emailing another woman in a way I feel is wrong. here are some examples: Hi Nici just a quick e-mail so you are in my contacts folder, hope you're ok and not enjoying the war...
A. 26 January 2008: It would surprise me if a guy didn't ever sneak a peek at porn - for most guys, viewing porn is normal. But contacting other girls online? That and contacting someone after meeting them 5 or 6 times is cheating - having emotional dalliances. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong or is it the thought that counts??
Q. My girlfriend of over2years didn't buy me a birthday card last week. She wanted to but didnt - for lack of money. Next week she went and spent her money on socialising. I would have apreciated a hand written bit of paper. It's 'the though...
A. 25 January 2008: I think you have every right to be annoyed. Was the thought - I'll have more beer money if I don't get my boyfriend a card? It's not the money, it's the fact that she didn't make you a priority and she hurt your feelings. As Taste of India has ... (read in full...)
I'm so happy with my married guy...but love my bf and am not sure he would leave his wife.
Q. I have been having a casual sex relationship with someone I work with; he is married and I have a bf. He had been cheated on in the past by his wife, and there are still problems. He just isn't happy with her. He and I started messing around o...
A. 25 January 2008: It's fun and enticing because neither of you have any responsibilities in this fling, just sex! Of course it works well! Throw in an ex wife and a couple of step children, then start washing the skid marks out of his shorts and paying the lion's ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give me tips on making my guy scream with pleasure in bed!?
Q. Well, another question... since I'm new in this thing called "SEX", I'm so curious, I've give my boyfriend blow jobs, normal thing I know, but the thing is that I don't feel like I'm giving him enough pleasure, when he is doing it to me I'm desperat...
A. 24 January 2008: Yep. I think the only way that my husband would actually scream in bed is if I were to wait until he is ready, and then tell him I dented his car... Most guys grunt - that's about it. I guess we're the peacocks in that department too! ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give me tips on making my guy scream with pleasure in bed!?
Q. Well, another question... since I'm new in this thing called "SEX", I'm so curious, I've give my boyfriend blow jobs, normal thing I know, but the thing is that I don't feel like I'm giving him enough pleasure, when he is doing it to me I'm desperat...
A. 24 January 2008: I'm not sure guys scream as much as we do... Can we here from some guys out there?... (read in full...)
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