A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i have a boyf of 3 years who i love very much. but i have a male friend who i get along really well with, i dont have any romantic feelings for him but i know he does for me, but he knows i am with someone. we txt alot and see eachother on nights out etc. but never meet up just the 2 of us, is it ok to be friends with this guy?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (16 January 2008):
Who are we kidding here? If you don't make changes to your friendship you are digging your own trap.You know he smacks you and the number 1 mistake girls make is to think it's not serious.Guys are not that stupid.He'll hit you when you least expect it and when you are most vulnerable.He knows you have a bf so he's probably playing it smart so you think just as you say in your follow up.This guy may complicate you relationship.Stop texting him alot and keep your contact with him to a friendly greeting.By da way do you allow your bf to go through your 4n? If so don't you worry he may get upset finding texts from him?
Take care.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 You can be friends but you have to set the boundaries of friendship or you will be tempted to become more than friends.Or he could misinterpret your signals.
That is just a possibility .
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A
male
reader, ptownpetey87  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 its ok to be friends... he just thinks your hot... doesnt mean he is in love with you... lol, i have many friends i think are hot... doesnt mean i want to always get them naked!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a mill for all your help guys...the thing is i dont think these 'feelings' are too serious, he meets other girls all the time and has no problem doing so. i think its just more that he finds me attractive - nothing more serious than that i know. the other thing is i never txt him late in the night, jst if everyone is headin out at the weekend etc. id never meet up with him just the 2 of us cos i know that would be taking things too far. but we get along and i do value his advice, and vice versa - he also comes to me with other girl problems!!
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A
female
reader, elliebellie  +, writes (15 January 2008):
hi. basschick is completely right. whatever you tell your boyfriend and however much he trusts you, you are leading this guy on. it doesnt matter if the two of you dont go out alone. texting when you know this guy has feelings for you is not good.
hope this helped
feel free to mail me if u wanna talk
lol
ellie
xxx
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Hi,
I have seen this situation so many times where a friend falls for a girl but she just likes hanging out with him. The problem is the guy will do anything for the girl as he is smitten, and the girl will take advantage of his good nature.
Do the right thing, break your ties with this guy, its not fair on him , he is holding a torch for you with the expectation that you will come around. I can only imagine how your boyfriend must feel about this guy knowing he is hanging around waiting for his chance.
I'm not suggesting you are doing anything wrong or manipulating him, hell, we all like to have friends, but for his sake you should let him get over you. As a friend don't you think he deserves to meet someone himself ?
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (15 January 2008):
 No, its not okay, in my oppinion. The guy clearly wants a relationship with you, and if you go out with him, not only are you going to compromise your relationship with your boyfriend, you are definitely leading this guy on. Even as friends you put yourself in a dangerous position. The question is how serioud are you with your boyfriend that you would consider going out with a guy who has romantic intentions.
If your relaionship is shaky....which happens... then I can see you going out with this guy. I don't approve of this but a lot of girls operate that way, where they have one boyfriend while while searching out for the next guy, even sleeping with other guys. I dont think that's you though.
Just be true to your guy and dont play around with other guys, even as you say, friends.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 I think that if you know that he likes you other than a as a friend, and he has feelings for you, you are leading him on. And the thing basschick said is right, your boyfriend probably wouldn't like you texting all the time if he knew that this guy cares for you. You have to establish boundaries in your relationships. One that you should keep in mind is that you should not be texting in the wee hours of the morning to someone who is not your your lover. That's the time of night that you should reserve for your closest confidant, and that should always be your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (15 January 2008):
 No. You're leading him on and everytime you text him, or spend any amount of time visiting with him, you are giving him hope, which is a mixed message if you are truly with someone you love. You can say hello to him when you bump into each other somewhere, but I would keep the chit-chat to a minimum and stop texting and visiting with him. And P.S. I suspect your b/f wouldn't like your friendship if he knew about it, given how this other guy feels about you. So consider his feelings too. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): of course it is. x
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