A
female
age
30-35,
*ayleex
writes:I don't know how to tell mt bf that i want a break. It may sound easy but the situtation that surrounds it is difficult. My bf is into his third week of quitting drugs and alcohol. He has been violent but not towards me and has threatened to kill himself. I love him so much and i really want to help him but i don't know what he is going through. He has been taking drugs for 10 years so i know that it is going to be hard for him but i cannot help him. I feel that our relationship is disappearing before my eyes. I think that if we seperate while he sorts himself out that we will be able to salvage what we have. I am willing to support him as much as i can and when he is better pick up on our realtionship. I just need advice of how i tell him this without him thinking that i am pushing him away or just leaving him to this on his own. Am i wrong for thinking that i should be there for him as a friend rather than his partner?
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 I think that you are very wise to step back a bit while he is sorting all of this out. These are his problems, he has to own them and he has to conquer them. If you have the time, perhaps joining Al-Anon could help you sort through your own feelings about your boyfriend, his addiction problems, and how not to be either a codependent or an enabler in any way. If you and he separate while he "dries-out", it would certainly show him that you are still there for him by attending meetings to support his recovery as well. Good Luck with everything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): No you are not wrong but leaving him alone in the middle of this problem would put doubts in his mind.Listen u do something to make him fall in love with you then U leave him for a while and when he will come after u.Tell him the reason that i do not like person who use drugs or alcohol.If u truly love me than u will have to leave the drugs or else goodbye fore-ever.Then he will leave drugs fore-ever
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