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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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My friend is too much, but she needs me. I don't know what to do.
Q. I have a friend and I find her to be rather stressful. I am a very positive person but she is a very negative person and I find she is draining on me, my energies and my positive vibes. She calls me every day and every time she whines and moans ...
A. 17 June 2008: Women don't like conflict. Most women will dump a friend an never see them again, simply to avoid having a negative, difficult conversation with them. You didn't say what exactly YOU get out of this friendship, other than listening and supporting ... (read in full...)
What are these "bumps" on her vagina?
Q. my question is pretty major. My Girl Friend doesnt want to have sex because she has bumps on her vagina, ive seen it myself. they are almost like pimples, but only occur on the surface and are nowhere by the "inside" of her vagina...do you guys have ...
A. 17 June 2008: I just thought of another comparison. If you have goosebumps on your arms, or you have seen raw chicken skin, those little "bumps" under the skin are also like the bumps around the areola (nipple) or labia (vaginal lips). Frankly Honey, you and ... (read in full...)
My love for my wife has faded! And my size seems to be a problem for both women in my life!
Q. I am married and I love another woman but I can't make a decision as to what to do. I love my wife but I'm not in love with my wife but i love our life, family and most of all my son. I am going crazy as to what to do. I can't imagine breaking this ...
A. 17 June 2008: Oh Man! Don't open that before dinner.
I totally agree with Tisha. Women adore a faithful penis, no matter what size it is! It's THE most attractive quality IN a penis, as a matter of fact!... (read in full...)
Do opposites attract?
Q. I've recently come out of a long term relationship and almost straight away started dating someone new. Its all happened quite fast and we are pretty 'infatuated' with each other, i.e sex is amazing and we really enjoy being together... and tell ...
A. 16 June 2008: I watched a show where women were either attracted or repulsed by a man's natural odor. They were actually up under the man's armpit, sniffing. The most amazing thing about the program was that all the women were attracted to a man, by scent, with ... (read in full...)
My ex is making my life really difficult!! Please help me to move on!!
Q. Hello. Ok. me and my ex broke up almost 3 months ago. Now my problem is...my ex is giving me signs that he still likes me, but refuses to start anything with me again. Now Ive decided to move on because Ive become incredibly bored of crying over h...
A. 16 June 2008: It's never a good idea to remain friends after a split, especially if you were the dumpee. The one who got dumped is always looking for a reason or a sign that the dumper still likes them, and now that you had that sign, he has you jumping through ... (read in full...)
My love for my wife has faded! And my size seems to be a problem for both women in my life!
Q. I am married and I love another woman but I can't make a decision as to what to do. I love my wife but I'm not in love with my wife but i love our life, family and most of all my son. I am going crazy as to what to do. I can't imagine breaking this ...
A. 16 June 2008: You sound like an extremely sensitive and compassionate man. It's fortunate that you understand women well enough to know that a well-endowed man is difficult to find, that must be why you are sharing yourself with more than one woman, for their ... (read in full...)
My pubic hair keeps growing back! And I don't like waxing! Any ideas?
Q. What shall i do with my pubic hair. i have shaved it but it keeps growing back. And i don't like the stuble. Waxing isn't an option what shall i do? ...
A. 16 June 2008: The fact is, most women don't remove their pubic hair, they just trim the bikini line. You may see a lot of pictures with absolutely no hair, but most guys prefer to see a neatly trimmed amount. It does, after all, make you look like a grown woman ... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with waiting for someone to find me - what do I do?!??
Q. Lately, i've completley given up on guys and everything to do with them. I haven't been in a relationship since october, and i've had a few crushes which have turned out to hurt me. I've been hurt by guys so many times, I don't know what to do ...
A. 16 June 2008: They always seem to show up when you least expect it or when you aren't even looking. People are attracted to others that are "involved and engaged" in life, so instead of sitting around waiting, start DOING! Throw yourself into your passions. ... (read in full...)
What are these "bumps" on her vagina?
Q. my question is pretty major. My Girl Friend doesnt want to have sex because she has bumps on her vagina, ive seen it myself. they are almost like pimples, but only occur on the surface and are nowhere by the "inside" of her vagina...do you guys have ...
A. 16 June 2008: If she has little "pimple" like little bumps around her "outer" lips and vagina, much like the pimples around her nipples, then it is a normal feature of the vaginal area.
If they are open, look like a pimple about to burst, or have disc... (read in full...)
For the guys that ever let their significant others go because of "internal" issues... what did you eventually decide and how long did it take you to realize it?
Q. For the guys that ever let their significant others go because they were "confused", had personal issues, unsure about their life, scared, afraid of feeling vulnerable, liked them "too much" or for any other similar INTERNAL reason, what did you ...
A. 12 June 2008: Ya, Whoa, BIG question.
The only thing that I can add from my own perspective is that if you are unhappy enough to want to end the relationship, you should do so before you have kids, which complicates the hell out of leaving for everyone invo... (read in full...)
I never orgasm during sexual intercourse, but when I masturbate I do... why is that so?
Q. I'm a very sexually active 25 year old female. I have been having sex on and off for about 7 years. I have noticed that i NEVER orgasm with sexual intercourse, but when i masturbate manually with my own fingers inside, i can orgasm in less than 10 ...
A. 12 June 2008: I wish to belong to the .1% club... Tisha! LOL! That's the percentage of women who can have a orgasm just by nipple stimulation alone! I would never leave the house, except to go jogging. How on earth would that work? Jog - then hold on to a ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to marry my fiancee and keep things as they are with my boyfriend?
Q. I am not sure what i am doing anymore. I am due to get married very soon, but although i love him in a way, i am having an affair with another man. To make it all worse, it has been going on on and off for 8 years, the other man is married, and ...
A. 12 June 2008: Love and Marriage isn't all about Finding "The Right Person" for yourself - It's all about wanting to BE "The Right Person" for them.
Pardon my being blunt, but it doesn't sound like YOU are the "Right Person" for either of these two men, Dear. ... (read in full...)
I am married and started an affair with a married man... I was booking a room for us and he said he had to think about it!! Is he not up for it!?
Q. I have been married for ten years, not always happily although things are ok at the moment. I have recently started an affair a married man. We have only met twice and all we have done is kiss. I feel like I have really fell for this guy after just ...
A. 12 June 2008: You'll forgive the obvious conclusion that if you are booking the room, you are doing the pursuing. It does sound like you are unhappier in your marriage than he is. Instead of using him as the catalyst to finally have the courage to do something ... (read in full...)
She has changed so much since she became pregnant. How do I get it to go back to how it was?
Q. I met my girlfriend about six months ago. I am a very successful professional and she is a single mother with two small children. We come from very different backgrounds, but still, after the first date we were hooked on each other. She would call ...
A. 11 June 2008: I'm concerned too. If she has shut down like this, it sounds like she is hiding something. Are you sure the dates line up? Is this child yours? Sorry to be a black cloud Hun, but that's the first thing that I thought when I read this. ... (read in full...)
How can I reassure her that she's not a "Rebound" girlfriend?
Q. Before this current relationships i was in a long standing relationship of over a year and we were engaged but things didn't work out. Now about a year after that relationship i met an AMAZING girl that i'm crazy about ,but one problem is that. ...
A. 11 June 2008: I was saying that in jest! The only way that you can prove your intent is through your consistency. Just be honest, loving and straightforward. I wouldn't go so far as to indulge her and let her become compulsive and paranoid about this issue ... (read in full...)
How can I reassure her that she's not a "Rebound" girlfriend?
Q. Before this current relationships i was in a long standing relationship of over a year and we were engaged but things didn't work out. Now about a year after that relationship i met an AMAZING girl that i'm crazy about ,but one problem is that. ...
A. 11 June 2008: Marry her! LOL!... (read in full...)
My online guy wants to marry me even though we've never met!
Q. So, I may seem insane to you guys after asking this question.... I've been talking to this guy online for about 3 1/2 years. We've become good friends and both have been wanting to date for quite some time..but he lives in TN. Last year he joined ...
A. 11 June 2008: You haven't met him and what he "Selectively" has told you online may or may not be an accurate representation of the type of person that he is. You need to slow way down. I think that considering marriage to an online relationship might just be a ... (read in full...)
I feel hopeless right now, I want to split up but the dogs are keeping me with him!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and living together for 6 years. We have 3 beautiful dogs together. He has made it clear recently that he does not want to get married or have children even though he knows I want children more ...
A. 10 June 2008: Sorry Hun! Scratch the first two lines! I stand behind the rest of the advice still - LOL! Where, oh where did I put those reading glasses...... (read in full...)
I feel hopeless right now, I want to split up but the dogs are keeping me with him!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and living together for 6 years. We have 3 beautiful dogs together. He has made it clear recently that he does not want to get married or have children even though he knows I want children more ...
A. 10 June 2008: I'm assuming that you don't want to go against his wishes and accidentally get pregnant, because you would be wrong to go there. Deception is always a mistake. From what you describe, your relationship is stagnant and at some point, these ... (read in full...)
Could you help me get over the fear my ferry will sink?
Q. I know this is a little off-topic, but please could someone help me? I'm going on holiday with my family and my boyfriend in a couple of weeks, which involves getting the ferry from Dover to Calais. I have a huuge fear of going over the sea, as ...
A. 9 June 2008: I've taken one from the Netherlands over to England. They are lots of fun with movie theaters, bars and restaurants on board. They are pretty huge, so the motion of the ocean isn't as pronounced as it would be on a smaller vessel. You know, you ... (read in full...)
Worried that my bf and I will drift apart..due to all his out of town meetings!!!
Q. My b/f of 3 yrs and I have a problem. During our first 3 years together, I worked at a place that gave me alot of flexibility in my hours, so I was able to travel with him when he attended out-of-town meetings and I got used to being with him and ...
A. 9 June 2008: If you need to attend meetings with him (that's not normal, hun) in order to keep him on a short leash, then you know that he is prone to behaving like a dog and that he needs a leash. All of his previous behavior patterns point to the fact that he ... (read in full...)
Can intense eye contact signal something?
Q. Hey guys I was just wondering if you could help me with something I,ve noticed for a while now. In school there is this guy who makes a LOT of eye contact with me and I cant help but make eye contact myself until one of us gets embarassed and looks ...
A. 9 June 2008: Yeah, he likes you. You should try and think up an excuse to approach him. Dropping your books when he is nearby, or something else (less lame, perhaps). I think he's probably interested and waiting for an opening to approach you. Guys are ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of over 2 years never wants to make out with me... WHY?
Q. My boyfriend of over 2 years and I recently broke up. One thing that really bothers me about our relationship is that he never wanted to kiss or make out with me. I find this so embarrassing and it makes me feel horrible. When we first starte...
A. 9 June 2008: Hi Hun,
I think that you need to realize that this is all about him and his issues and that you should not take this on as yours. This has nothing to do with you or your desirability as a woman or your sexuality. There is something going on with... (read in full...)
I'm Lonely--where are all the down to earth, fun people at??
Q. I am so lonely after my husband had died, he was my best friend know he is gone. And do not have anyone to chat with at all. How can I make new friends or just have somebody close to talk with. I am fun person but people are so shallow and stupid. ...
A. 9 June 2008: Lotusmama88 had some very good points. I really think that following your passions will lead you to others that have similar outlooks on life. There is nothing as attractive as a person who is engaged in what they are doing. You're bound to meet ... (read in full...)
He wants me back but isnt sure what to do with the girl he is dating now? Help!
Q. Well, I recently posted up stuff about my x and i... WELLLL... We ended up sort of working things out and now out of random we got into one little fight and now he is dating some 16 year old? OUT OF RANDOM!!!! That day he asked her out he was ...
A. 9 June 2008: Really? You would sell your dignity for a guy who doesn't know what he wants, let's his parents make his decisions and most of all, treats you like crap? Which bulls**t are you swallowing now? The stuff You want to believe, or the stuff HE wants ... (read in full...)
Why falling for your teacher is never good!
Q. *LONG BUT READ IT ALL TO UNDERSTAND PROPERLY* I know for a fact many of you girls on here have crushes/are in love/are in fatuated with your teachers, and most of you would love something to happen aswell.Most of the aunts say this is a b...
A. 9 June 2008: Thank you so much for sharing this with us. This article speaks volumes and says so much more coming from you than anything than we could say. This is going to touch more young people in a way that will reach them. Thank you.
You are stro... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings about my best friends love life
Q. I'm so confused. I met my best friend nearly 15 years ago when we were at college together. We dated for a few months but we realised we were better at being friends than lovers. We both live in the same town so we have shared each others ups and ...
A. 9 June 2008: Nahhh. I wouldn't even go there. If you already accepted all of this, the end of the relationship and the beginning of your being best friends years ago, and have always been in the habit of sharing these details, it would seem petty or ... (read in full...)
I have Asperger's Syndrome so can't read body language easily, how can I tell if a girl finds me attractive?
Q. I'd like some help with a little problem I have, since I have a form of Autism (Asperger's Syndrome) I have a little difficulty understanding body language. My question is this, how can I tell if a girl finds me attractive or if they are flirting?...
A. 9 June 2008: Some signs and body language:
Dilated pupils.
Flipping and running her fingers through her own hair.
Legs crossed with the top one pointing at you.
Body pivoted towards you.
Licking her lips.
Giggling.
Reaching out and touching you during ... (read in full...)
Men, what would you do if your partner came home with a sex toy?
Q. So I want to take a poll even if I only get a few answers its ok. The question. The senario. Just home from the local porn store. Just bought a new toy. One that is pleasurable for both individuals. This question is basically for men. Women you c...
A. 8 June 2008: If it's a new episode, in our house EVERYTHING stops for the Simpson's! Even new sex toys. My husband would probably think that your guys priorities were beyond questioning, I mean, come on, it's the Simpson's. We can't even have a dinner party ... (read in full...)
Missing Tampon??
Q. hi, pretty embarassing question here. I'm not sure whether ot not I have a tampon inside of me still or not. Yesterday, I used one and I'm not sure if I took it out or not. I've looked with the use of a mirror and cant seem to see anything...
A. 7 June 2008: Did you feel up behind your cervix (the thing that feels like the end of your nose inside your vagina)? Sometimes they get stuck there. Just wash your hands an use your index finger. Try shifting positions to see if it with reposition itself. My ... (read in full...)
We both really like each other but are in different 'groups' at school...what should we do?
Q. I really like this girl and she feels the same way, but at school we are in totally different groups and we never get the chance to really socialise. What should we do?...
A. 6 June 2008: We would all love to give you the benefit of our knowledge and let you know that we all have our regrest about the groups in school and how we let these self-imposed groups divide all of us. There were people that I wished that I had the nerve to ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to try to get him to change his job?
Q. hi. my boyfriend works offshore 5 weeks on and 5 weeks off.I moved in with him last year away from my parent.i rearly see them.Im finding it more difficult to deal with every time he leaves.i cry every day and just sleep all day to pass the time.I j...
A. 6 June 2008: My husband has travelled and we have lived apart several times because of jobs - even when our kids were babies. Our separations were 2 months, 1 and 1/2 years and 1 year! We would get the occasional weekend, but most of the time, it was about 5 ... (read in full...)
I need both guys and girls points of view!
Q. I need both guys and girls points of view! Basically,I am 14 and have given and recieved oral and today at school i stupidley let it slip. None of my friends have even given a hand job. i am very old in my year (year 9)as my b'day is in sep and wi...
A. 6 June 2008: Hi Hun,
Ditto to what all the aunties have said about what is and isn't fit for public consumption. Keep your private life private. Even telling ONE person can start gossip, unfortunately. Girls get judged, guys still don't. That sure hasn... (read in full...)
Are we liying to cover up something bigger?
Q. Do our lies covering up something bigger? I have lived with a women for about a year. Over the duration of this period, we have both either stayed in contact with or made new acquaintences of the opposite sex. We both reassure one another that...
A. 6 June 2008: Well, neither one of you cares enough to fight, get jealous or get angry about it. It doesn't sound like you care enough about each other to stick around, so perhaps the relationship is alright for now, but I would really question the reason why ... (read in full...)
He told me some awful things. Are all men like this?
Q. Hi, ok I have a SERIOUS problem. I've been madly in love with my boyfriend over the past year or so and we are having a child together. I want to make an extremely long story short so here it goes...we've battled drugs, and sex together. We've ...
A. 6 June 2008: Definately I would pay attention to the "Grave Mistake" part...... (read in full...)
Is 5 years a big age gap?
Q. i am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 25 years of age..so do u think 5 years of age gap between us makes a difference..do u think he is too old for me????...
A. 6 June 2008: I think 10 years would be a huge gap at your age and that might be difficult, but if you feel comfortable together, 5 isn't really too big. It all depends on the two of you. My son was 25 dating a twenty year old and they have been together now ... (read in full...)
I have never been given an orgasm by my boyfriend. what do I do about it?
Q. my bf and i have been together for 1 1/2 now n we love each other alot. we have a great relationship inside and outside of the bedroom but the only problem is in all that time i have never gotten an orgasm. he's my first and i knowi'm not hhis but ...
A. 6 June 2008: Do you know how to orgasm? Do you masterbate? The only way to teach him is if you know your own body. Usually, a couple has to learn together and teach each other how you give pleasure to our partners. If he hasn't given you an orgasm yet, he ... (read in full...)
They make fun of me because I don't share their vice... is this not childish?
Q. everyone makes fun of me because i dont smoke weed,do you think thats childish?...
A. 6 June 2008: Heck No! Stick to your principles! I think that's great! Most people who have a problem with a certain vice only wish to drag you down to there level anyways. I don't disapprove of grass, but I have seen far too many young people smoke it every ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling so depressed about the guy I like getting a girlfrined?
Q. Ive bin frends with this guy for almost a yr now and at 1st tht was only how I thought of him, but a few mnths ago I started getting feelings for him. I would tease him and stuff, being flirty but never actually say it, so I think he probably didn ...
A. 6 June 2008: Well, if you weren't at a point in your relationship where you could be straightforward before, and you didn't try to express your feeling then, I think the thing that you should do, is to bow out gracefully. You did have your chance, you just ... (read in full...)
I might be having a baby, but the "dad" is mean to me, should I tell the other guy who is nice to me that the baby is his?
Q. i had sex about 2 weeks ago and i think i missed my period... the dad treats me bad and only calls for sex. he knows i mite be having a baby but i know another guy who is better to me and i know he would make a good dad. should i just say its his ...
A. 6 June 2008: Surely you have seen Jerry Springer? You do live in the US. Are you planning ahead? The onlypossible explaination that I can think of is that you want those 15 minutes of fame that Andy Warhol promised that soon everyone would have? What a ... (read in full...)
My husband is making me have too many children!
Q. I need some advice. I am 8 months pregnant with my 5th child. my other children are 7, 5, 4 and 18 months old. My husband works extremely long hours and spends every second week working in another state. I was done having children after our t...
A. 6 June 2008: You have more than fulfilled your wifely duties and the fact that your husband isn't listening to you and you are resorting to this ridiculous idea because you can't discuss things is preposterous. It would seem that your opinion is valued as ... (read in full...)
He told me some awful things. Are all men like this?
Q. Hi, ok I have a SERIOUS problem. I've been madly in love with my boyfriend over the past year or so and we are having a child together. I want to make an extremely long story short so here it goes...we've battled drugs, and sex together. We've ...
A. 3 June 2008: Sociopath sounds like a very good description. if you are aware of him ever actually hurting any small animals in his past, psychopath might fit too.
I'm so sorry, Hun. I'm not being flippant, but all of the Aunties are right. A lot of us are ... (read in full...)
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