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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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He told me some awful things. Are all men like this?
Q. Hi, ok I have a SERIOUS problem. I've been madly in love with my boyfriend over the past year or so and we are having a child together. I want to make an extremely long story short so here it goes...we've battled drugs, and sex together. We've ...
A. 6 June 2008: Definately I would pay attention to the "Grave Mistake" part...... (read in full...)
My husband is making me have too many children!
Q. I need some advice. I am 8 months pregnant with my 5th child. my other children are 7, 5, 4 and 18 months old. My husband works extremely long hours and spends every second week working in another state. I was done having children after our t...
A. 6 June 2008: You have more than fulfilled your wifely duties and the fact that your husband isn't listening to you and you are resorting to this ridiculous idea because you can't discuss things is preposterous. It would seem that your opinion is valued as ... (read in full...)
I get horny during my period. My boyfriend won't...
Q. hi everyone quick question when im on my period i get super horny and i want sex but my bf wont have sex with me bc im bleeding how can i convince him 2 have sex with me? plz can anyone tell me what 2 do he wont go into the shower with me when i ...
A. 6 June 2008: We get pretty used to the sight of blood because we have to, but most guys are quite squeamish about the sight of it. I would stick to masturbation and not try to get him to do something that he really doesn't like. I'm sure that you wouldn't want ... (read in full...)
Some men put work before their women, how is a proper ordering of priorities?
Q. What ranking is a woman meant to come in their partners life?? What should be coming before them and after?? Some men put work before them, is this right?? Or should a women come before work?? Just a general question really. Something me and...
A. 5 June 2008: 1. Beer
2. Remote control
3. Computer
4. Avoiding wife using all of the above
5. Food
6. Begging wife to have sex
7. SPN
8. CNN
9. Complaining about the price of gas
10.Work...
... (read in full...)
My friend has gone a bit 'metal' and I don't know what to do. Please help.
Q. Hey, i'm really worried. i started college and met this guy (as a friend) he seemed really nice. call him J. we ended up being quite good mates.recently though he told me he liked me more than friends. i didnt feel the same way at all and told him...
A. 5 June 2008: BTW, this happened to my daughter with a person on her floor in Res. She wasn't involved with him, but he watched her obsessively (including staring INTO her window). She did tell the people on campus. At a party, he told everyone about a dream ... (read in full...)
My friend has gone a bit 'metal' and I don't know what to do. Please help.
Q. Hey, i'm really worried. i started college and met this guy (as a friend) he seemed really nice. call him J. we ended up being quite good mates.recently though he told me he liked me more than friends. i didnt feel the same way at all and told him...
A. 5 June 2008: It sounds like he has become obsessed with you and is stalking you. If you are worried enough to write here about, trust your feelings about this situation. Something is off. The aunties have given you great advice. Cut off your ties with him ... (read in full...)
If I'm pregnant how do we tell our families? (No lectures please)
Q. Hi, First of all im not here for lectures, as far as im concerned im a mature woman who may be within a certain age band *looks up* but I work 45 hours a week, I pay my way and i am independant, I have been in a serious relation ship for about a ...
A. 5 June 2008: Hi Hun,
Well, I'm assuming that that has taken the pressure off, but everything always feels a bit off after going through all of this. I know that you are probably disappointed and a bit sad, that's pretty normal, even if this was a "scare". If t... (read in full...)
If I'm pregnant how do we tell our families? (No lectures please)
Q. Hi, First of all im not here for lectures, as far as im concerned im a mature woman who may be within a certain age band *looks up* but I work 45 hours a week, I pay my way and i am independant, I have been in a serious relation ship for about a ...
A. 5 June 2008: I'll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you, Hunnie. Thank you for the long and thorough report back to all the aunties, we appreciate the feedback. Ouchies on the rod things, I never did well on the pill and I liked the IUD best for ... (read in full...)
I lost my baby and feel so alone !
Q. I lost my baby 2 months ago and i am finding it very difficult to open up and talk about it with my partner. I'm so angry i can't let it out because I won't stop. He doesn't seem to understand this. can anyone help please? I really need some hel...
A. 4 June 2008: Hi Sweetie,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your child. That is devastating. I think that you have been through a lot, and it can't be easy for you right now in particular if this would have been around your due date. No one can tell you ... (read in full...)
Some men put work before their women, how is a proper ordering of priorities?
Q. What ranking is a woman meant to come in their partners life?? What should be coming before them and after?? Some men put work before them, is this right?? Or should a women come before work?? Just a general question really. Something me and...
A. 4 June 2008: It is a very difficult balancing act that every couple has to work out for themselves, depending on their careers, whether or not they are married and whether or not they have children. It's a normal day-to-day struggle and there's no pat answer. ... (read in full...)
Is this possible? Science-wise?
Q. is it possible to get pregnant if i have my boyfriend ejaculate in my mouth, and i save it in a syringe and then inseminate the semen into my vagina? ...
A. 4 June 2008: Only if you have started your menstrual cycle and are fertile. Good Grief.... (read in full...)
Pregnant but not in love with this man!
Q. I am 7 weeks pregnant with a man's baby who I am not in love with. I just recently got out of a four year long relationship and can only wish that it was his child. I am 22. What should I do?????...
A. 4 June 2008: Are you financially and emotionally ready to start a family? How do you feel about your pregnancy? Would you want to marry the father? You will have to be prepared to be tied to him through this child for the rest of your life. Is he someone ... (read in full...)
How do I stop acting like a crazy jealous girlfriend?
Q. Hi, I've been dating a guy from work (and keeping it on the DL) for about 2 months now, and I really like him. It's different for both of us, me especially, since he's never dated a white girl (but has dated interracially) and I've never dated a ...
A. 4 June 2008: I think that you are wise to question your connection with him and pay attention to your feelings. It's not wise to ingore them or sweep them under the rug. But there's certainly no harm in continuing the relationship to find out if it's going to ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about pregnancy even though he used a condom?
Q. I foolishly had sex with my boyfriend at 15, should I be worried about my period? It's been 34 days since the start day of my last period, and 17 days since I lost my virginity. I have not had sex since. Is this a normal reaction of my body, an...
A. 4 June 2008: Yes, it's still early days, you could still just be late, those symptoms could just be your period coming on. Get your boyfriend to take you to the clinic or see your Doctor. I believe that in the UK, he can't call your Mom and Dad, so don't be ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish and unreasonable about sex?
Q. my wife and i both work full time jobs.it seems that we have sex only one day a week.always our first day off together.we have the same two days off every week.its always in the morning when we wake up and usually the same way.during the week im ...
A. 4 June 2008: No, I don't think it's selfish or unreasonable. I think that you are both run off your feet and tired after working such long hours. If you really want to make her feel like she has the time for sex a few more times a week, perhaps you could open ... (read in full...)
I'm comfortable with my new girlfriend but sometimes find it hard to come with her without fantasising. Is she the one?
Q. I sometimes have difficulty reaching orgasm with my new girlfriend. I've been seeing her a month and feel very comfortable with her. Last night for example though, she cooked dinner, which I really enjoyed and we had a wonderful evening relaxing ...
A. 4 June 2008: Hhmmmm. I'm not sure that you are ever going to find someone who makes you stop fantasizing all together, but perhaps what you are feeling here is that you aren't really in love with this woman? Maybe your just not that into her... I would try to ... (read in full...)
Can I work out the date I conceived?
Q. my last period start 2 march then i have no periods till now i check it its positive now i m pregnant and i want to know my concive date i had sex on 13 march 15,16,18 march i visit to doctor 21 may they tell me by ultersound my baby is 11 weeks...
A. 4 June 2008: If you ARE on a 28 day cycle, and you DID ovulate around the 14th, and you slept with one guy on the 13 and another guy on the 15, 16 and 18th, however, it's not going to help and it's too close too tell. You would need to have a DNA test after the ... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 4 June 2008: Perhaps his feet were cold! LOL! Sounds like he loves you a lot hun! He was honest enough to tell you how he really felt in the hopes that you would listen! As long as he wasn't purple in the face and screaming like an idiot, he just had one of ... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 4 June 2008: I had someone once tell me a lovely story about marriage.
Loving someone else isn't about FINDING "That Perfect Person". Loving someone else consists of finding that "person" and Then WANTING to be the "Perfect Person" for them (not in chan... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 4 June 2008: When you are married, the whole point is considering the other person's needs before your own, because you love them and place them before yourself. If you think about that point, then asking before you take the only pair of socks that he has ... (read in full...)
If I'm pregnant how do we tell our families? (No lectures please)
Q. Hi, First of all im not here for lectures, as far as im concerned im a mature woman who may be within a certain age band *looks up* but I work 45 hours a week, I pay my way and i am independant, I have been in a serious relation ship for about a ...
A. 4 June 2008: Well, Hun, I'm sorry that you may be facing this. Have you decided what you want to do?
Condoms have a 3% failure rate - best case scenario. Under normal usage, the failure rate is more like 14%, according to the FDA. Nature really intended sex ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about pregnancy even though he used a condom?
Q. I foolishly had sex with my boyfriend at 15, should I be worried about my period? It's been 34 days since the start day of my last period, and 17 days since I lost my virginity. I have not had sex since. Is this a normal reaction of my body, an...
A. 3 June 2008: According to the FDA tables, the highest rate of effectiveness for condoms is 97%, but the lowest rate of normal effectiveness is 84%. That would include human error, breakage, using a condom twice (big no-no), slippage, leakage, etc.
C... (read in full...)
Could you tell me if I am pregnant?
Q. I was having fun with my boyfriend the other day, and we had intercourse trice.. He ejaculated outside the vagina on the stomach in the first time, we waited around 20 minutes before he got back in shape and we went at it again. i was wondering, ...
A. 3 June 2008: If the ejaculate is still moist, the sperm can still be alive. Even if it was on your stomach and ran down to the moist environment of your vagina, the little swimmers could still be active and they travel. Air doesn't kill them, but if the ... (read in full...)
He told me some awful things. Are all men like this?
Q. Hi, ok I have a SERIOUS problem. I've been madly in love with my boyfriend over the past year or so and we are having a child together. I want to make an extremely long story short so here it goes...we've battled drugs, and sex together. We've ...
A. 3 June 2008: Sociopath sounds like a very good description. if you are aware of him ever actually hurting any small animals in his past, psychopath might fit too.
I'm so sorry, Hun. I'm not being flippant, but all of the Aunties are right. A lot of us are ... (read in full...)
Can I work out the date I conceived?
Q. my last period start 2 march then i have no periods till now i check it its positive now i m pregnant and i want to know my concive date i had sex on 13 march 15,16,18 march i visit to doctor 21 may they tell me by ultersound my baby is 11 weeks...
A. 3 June 2008: No matter how long your cycle is, the thing that never varies is that you ovulate 14 days before the start of your period. So, if you have a 28 day period, you ovulate on the 14th day. And if you have a 40 day cycle, you ovulate on the 26th day - ... (read in full...)
I might see him on Sunday, should I talk with him, his family, what? I like this lad!
Q. i like a lad, i am 16, e is one or two years older. my brother play for a football team, they are the blacks, that lad helps coach the reds. i know all of his family. once he went to one of my brothers football matches, i kept on pulling my skirt up ...
A. 3 June 2008: Yes. Talk with him, he'll like the fact that you approached him. Guys don't like the pressure of always being the ones that are expected to make the first move. Talk with his family too. That usually impresses a guy because you are freindly, ... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 3 June 2008: Ha Ha Ha Eyes!
You just reminded me of some good underwear stories! I worked in an art department for years with a big, manly guy. He was quite funny, frank and outspoken, and he would come in from time to time and say that he had run out of u... (read in full...)
How can I slow down my metabolism?
Q. Is there a way i can slow down my metabolism? I know its a wierd question, but i am really skinny and trying to put on weight. The pigging out thing doesnt work. I know my stick figure would be a dream come true for some else but where i come from ...
A. 3 June 2008: Become middle-aged. It's worked SOOooo well for me! LOL!
Seriously, I know that your culture appreciates women with more weight on them, but there isn't a cure other than time if you are naturally slim and genetics are involved. Pigging out, espe... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 3 June 2008: My favorite thing (NOT) that my husband and my kids would do was treat my wallet like a bank! I'd have a full grocery cart at the cash and open my wallet to find out that someone had taken all the money! (and that's always mortifying and ... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 3 June 2008: Well, he had a point. Asking is the right thing to do first. If the situation was reversed, you would be miffed too. Hopefully, he wasn't screaming or blowing it out of all proportions, 'cause that would be a bit wrong over a simple pair of ... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem with my direction?
Q. Hi! I'm a 15-year-old girl who is straight and who loves boys! My sister is a lesbian and she gave me some episodes of the L World to watch last week.I wasn't ok with that coz'i'm not a dyke!!!I watched the show and I loved it!!! Now when I go on...
A. 3 June 2008: I don't think that normal curiousity or watching shows or videos is an indication that you are gay or bi, it's just normal curiousity. I suspect that you would have had crushes on girls long before now if you were gay, and that you would probably ... (read in full...)
Nipple stimulation produces very intense sensations... is this odd?
Q. just a quick question about pleasure. when my nipples are stimulated i get an odd sensation like a craving but i dont know what for or how to get rid of it. im not a virgin...far from it but for example when im in the shower and the showerhe...
A. 3 June 2008: That's a new one for me! Thirsty! I have little contractions in my belly that might be mistaken for hunger, but it's your uterus contracting and the blood flowing to your vagina and clitoris, preparing your body for sex! I do get hungry AFTER ... (read in full...)
Embarassing question, I seem to have lost a vibrator...
Q. okay, this is embarrassing. About 2 weeks ago, I came home from a night out (yes, alcohol was involved). I fell asleep with my cordless "bullett" (a small vibrator) and have not been able to find it since. Is it possible that it is lost inside of ...
A. 3 June 2008: Without Bateries - VERY GOOD IDEA! Every flipping time I get overseas, there's a lovely little "Official" white card tucked inside my suitcase, telling me that they have once again, triumphed over the forces of evil by rummaging through my scanties ... (read in full...)
Cunnilingus blues... this discharge is ruining my sex life!
Q. I've had thick white-ish discharge when I get wet for as long as I can remember. All my friends told me they got it too sometimes, but when my boyfriend found out, he stopped going down on me. I try to clean it off whenever I can find it, but it's ...
A. 3 June 2008: Hi Hun,
You are sabotaging your own ship when you do things for his own benefit that he won't do for you. Firstly, stop faking orgasms. That is a good way to a stunted sex life. Communication suffers and the relationship does too. If you simp... (read in full...)
I've been seeing a married man but now when he wants to move in with me I get cold feet, what do you think I should do?
Q. i have been seeing a married man for eight years and now he tells me he wants to leave home and move in with me. problem is i dont want him to i know if he cheated on his wife with me for years i cant expect anything but the worse from him but at ...
A. 2 June 2008: I think that he was treating you like a Queen because he had time to when someone else was washing the skid marks out of his shorts! When his wife was his maid, he didn't appreciate her because she was acting like his wife, probably because she ... (read in full...)
I'm ugly and it gets me down....
Q. Ok, so Im a 15 year old girl and I have major self-confidence issues. You see, Ive got an Ok body but my face is really ugly. I think its ugly and so do other people. Its my nose that makes me ugly - its too big and horrible and makes my other ...
A. 2 June 2008: Oh Hunny,
I wish that I could give you a mirror that made you see how beautiful you are for yourself, but until you love yourself and accept yourself as you are, you're never going to believe your family and friends who think that you are bonn... (read in full...)
Should I get a pregnancy test for my girlfriend as she is a bit worried?
Q. Hey I'm 16 and I'm afraid. My girlfriend and I had sex, and We DID usea condom (and I'm pretty sure we put it on right, she put it on) and after about 10 minutes, I decided to check the condom and nothing wrong, but she noticed it was like whitish...
A. 2 June 2008: Hi Hun,
The chances of any pre-cum leaking out of a condom and causing a pregnancy would be pretty slim, and I'm pretty sure that if you didn't cum inside the condom before you pulled out, the whitish substance was probably just her own natural lubr... (read in full...)
Can I give my boyfriend's last name to my baby?
Q. my babys daddy is out of the country and thers no way that he can make it here the day im going to give birth to my baby . but wer still together. can i still give my baby his fathers last name??...
A. 1 June 2008: Absolutely. You can name your child anything that you like and register the baby's name as you wish. You can declare on the birth certificate the name of the father of the child. Make sure that the father agrees with you before you do put all of ... (read in full...)
Is this a medical issue or is it that my girlfriends have been satisfied quicker than I have?
Q. Dear DearCupid, I have what feels a serious problem, I'm in love with this girl, we have been for nearly 2 years(in a relationship). We began to have sex in October last year. I love her so much; but a problem that we seem to have is that I can sa...
A. 31 May 2008: I would go to a qualified Urologist and discuss this with them. A Doctor's diagnosis is compared to a triangle, and it's important to have all three sides to get to the right diagnosis. The three things are, the Doctor's knowledge, the physical... (read in full...)
Can anyone help after my first night sex experience?
Q. I met a guy in 3 months ago went on a first date who was the perfect gentlemen went home and ended up having sex. We contacted each other the next week, then left it for a couple weeks and then he asked me out again. I just said it was a drunken...
A. 31 May 2008: If you aren't sure about his intentions, and he has acted in a rather jealous or possesive boyfriend kind of way with the whole texting you when you're out with someone else, you could meet him for a coffee (not a drink) and have a long conversation ... (read in full...)
Embarassing question, I seem to have lost a vibrator...
Q. okay, this is embarrassing. About 2 weeks ago, I came home from a night out (yes, alcohol was involved). I fell asleep with my cordless "bullett" (a small vibrator) and have not been able to find it since. Is it possible that it is lost inside of ...
A. 30 May 2008: Have to agree with BigSis here, you should definately just post a random question that you have always wanted to know the answer to, just to continue the fun, you seem like our kind of people! Enjoyed reading this thread and so happy to hear that ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help after my first night sex experience?
Q. I met a guy in 3 months ago went on a first date who was the perfect gentlemen went home and ended up having sex. We contacted each other the next week, then left it for a couple weeks and then he asked me out again. I just said it was a drunken...
A. 29 May 2008: By the way, I wrote the answer before I read the follow-ups and my computer was closed on your question. I hope that you follow Twirly's advice.... (read in full...)
Can anyone help after my first night sex experience?
Q. I met a guy in 3 months ago went on a first date who was the perfect gentlemen went home and ended up having sex. We contacted each other the next week, then left it for a couple weeks and then he asked me out again. I just said it was a drunken...
A. 29 May 2008: I doubt very much that he would come back to you if the sex was bad, but the fact that you noticed he is only going on and on about the sex is a BIG HUGE FLASHING BILLBOARD. He is very, very interested in having sex, and because you did have a one ... (read in full...)
Embarassing question, I seem to have lost a vibrator...
Q. okay, this is embarrassing. About 2 weeks ago, I came home from a night out (yes, alcohol was involved). I fell asleep with my cordless "bullett" (a small vibrator) and have not been able to find it since. Is it possible that it is lost inside of ...
A. 15 May 2008: Doctors deal with "lost" items all the time - especially tampons, so don't be embarrassed, you won't be the first one to ask him/her this. I think you should just make an appointment and go and see your Doctor. It will give you some peace of mind ... (read in full...)
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