A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i had sex about 2 weeks ago and i think i missed my period... the dad treats me bad and only calls for sex. he knows i mite be having a baby but i know another guy who is better to me and i know he would make a good dad. should i just say its his and forget about the real dad?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): No,don't even think about lying.Just because he's mean has nothing to do with it.Telling another guy he has a child
when he really doesn't and you know about it is extremely
rude,selfish,and puts huge false responsibility on someone
whho doesn't need to be in the baby's life.Unless by mean,
you mean physically abusive,you'd have something to worry about,but still don't tell another guy that's his baby.The
mean dad still has every right to know that that's his child.There's nothing you can do except to put the baby up
for adoption,but you wouldn't do that to keep the baby away
from someone you don't like,would you?He might not stop
bein mean,but he will always have a responsibility to that
baby and it can never be taken away,so let that baby be
with his REAL father.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): You can't lie about this! If you're pregnant with a man's baby, then you tell him and tell him straight. Imagine how much the other guy would be hurt if he found out it wasn't his child! It's one of the most awful things you could do to a man.
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A
male
reader, youwillhateme  +, writes (6 June 2008):
NO you should not lie about this, this is something that doesn't just affect you, but also the baby, and the real father. then if you tell the other guy that its his, it will affect him too. just tell the truth, maybe this guy will be nicer when he finds out about his baby :)good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Women should go to jail for purposely lying about who is the father of their baby.
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A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Don't lie. That's never a good option.Someone mentioned below something like "I wish we could pick the fathers of our children." Um, hello! We do! It's called choosing who you have sex with! But anyway, I agree that you're not at all ready for parenting. That's understandable, you're a teenager. You should be living it up right now, not having babies! So let's hope you're not pregnant. If you ARE, and you plan to have this baby, be honest with the father. A lie is just not good. Also, I seriously think you should consider abortion if you are pregnant. You're too young to be a mother and you'e not even sure who the father is. And if it *is* the jerk, then why would you bring a child into the world who'll have a jerk for a father? That's just irresposible. I know everyone treates aboriton like it's some disasterous, evil disease or something, but it's not. It's a responsible medical choice. A legal, professional abortion will not make your sterile or drive you into some deep life-long depression. Those myths are spread by religious fanatics and anti-choice maniacs. You can actually be *happy* about having an abortion...I know many women who are. And if that's what you decide to do, don't let anyone talk you out of it. It's your life, your body, and your decision. Only YOU know what is right for YOU, and no one can stop you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): sounds like you are still playing a game like picking up the best clothes in your locker, picking up the best color for your eyes to put a dress on your barbie doll.. honey check it first if u are pregnant, if u are" think it over, say" can u manage the baby without a father? and if u can, why afraid to tell it to the real father.. if u let other guy take the responsabilities to something that he's not then you are making such a big, big trouble in the future, not only for the father, not only for you but also for the baby., you are now in your 16 or 17" try to be a little matured honey, even you are rich having a baby in this age is not that easy at all.. TRUST ME"... godd luck.... XXX
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A
female
reader, sfrancis +, writes (6 June 2008):
 No!! The truth is always the best way. If you lie then you will always have to live the lie. Hopefully you are not pregnant, and you have woken up. If some one treats you bad and you know it now, then please ask yourself, “why do I allow myself to be used this way? You have got to love yourself first. We as women do not understand what the bible means about we being a weaker vessel. Baby this mean in body as the physical person. We are not stronger enough to lift as men, but in the mind we can be even wiser. But we must apply ourselves. Use our heads. Never let yourself be used. Allow yourself to be loved. And loved by someone who loves you. Lets pray that you will not have a child that will be another child that has to grow up with out a fathers love. And please don’t be another one of those Jerry Springly women up the on TV. With a man saying “this is not really your child.” And if you are then tell the other guy straight up. Who knows he may even be the better man after all. For sure he will not be later he will never trust you again when he learns the truth.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Wouldnt that be great though? Choose the father of our kids. Hm...but it isnt reality. It isnt fair, to baby or the nicer guy, you know? The father of my 1st kid is a complete tool, abused me right in front of my son. I remember thinking to myself, "I wish this baby belonged to someone else". I left him immediatly after that, raised my son by myself for a couple of years, and found a really nice guy who was willing to treat my son as if he were his own. My son still see's the tool, but prefers to be with me and my partner. And, I am guilt free and happy. You will be too. Time heals everything, just remember, from now on, you are making decisions for 2, so next time, no nighty-night with mean jerks;)
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Surely you have seen Jerry Springer? You do live in the US. Are you planning ahead? The onlypossible explaination that I can think of is that you want those 15 minutes of fame that Andy Warhol promised that soon everyone would have? What a lovely way to treat your child and his/her father! You must be so proud of your actions! Really? REALLY? You must be yanking our chains. No one could be this mean.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we ponder to deceive.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Whatever you do, don't lie about the paternity of your child. The "nice guy" will be totally shattered if he ever finds out about your self-serving dishonesty.
If you don't want babies with nasty men, don't sleep with them. Don't fob your mistake onto some poor unsuspecting victim.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Um.. NO!If it's not the nice guys baby, then why are you laying that responsibility on him??!It's a HUGE life altering responsibility when you have a baby (especially at your age) and no one should be dragged into something like that under false pretenses. That is completely unfair and horrible to suggest..
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (6 June 2008):
 If he is such a nice guy, why would like lie to him and put that kind of pressure on him?
And of course, I'm assuming you've also had sex with Mister Nice Guy, else there's a MAJOR flaw in your plan to tell him he's got you knocked up.
It sounds like a very ill thought out solution to me. Wait until you /know/ whether you are pregnant or not - take a test and go to the doctor to be sure. If you /are/ pregnant, be honest about who the father is. It's easier than trying to cover a stupid lie.
If the father is such a total bastard, then cut all contact with him. Let him know he's got you pregnant, but don't continue to see him.
And next time, use a condom.
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