A
female
age
36-40,
innocencelost
writes:*LONG BUT READ IT ALL TO UNDERSTAND PROPERLY* I know for a fact many of you girls on here have crushes/are in love/are in fatuated with your teachers, and most of you would love something to happen aswell.Most of the aunts say this is a bad thing, i am no different in this respect,however i'm going to tell you a story to show why i have this opinion and how an innocent crush can turn sour.Basically i was 15 just starting year ten and this new teacher walked into my classroom and my god, he caught my attention i thought he was gorgeous.....but unfortunately nothing would happen because he didn't teach me. wrong i was.A few months went by i didn't give him much thought if i am honest just eye candy to look at when i walked passed his room, i didn't go out of my way to see him or anything i wasn't even 100% sure what his name was. Then on day our eyes met...he looked straight into my eyes for what seemed like an age about 15 secs and if memory serves, i was the one who looked away first. eveb then i didn't think he fancied me or anything i dismissed it as he was just playing stare down or something.The week after i was on a trip with him he kept flattering me telling me how intellegent i was, how beautiful i looked, did i have a boyfriend? etc. Indeed this was the day i fell for him at the end of the day he put his hand through my hair and said 'you know you really are beautiful' and winked at me. I melted at that point. This was the point i became obsessive i ate,slept and drank that man he knew it too. i googled his name found his address, went out at everyday to the area he lived in the vain hope i would see him. Walked passed his classroom everyday to see him look into my eyes, i went mad.Then for my work exp i worked in the english block with him doing displays and stuff with him very one on one. Then about half way through it we started talking about his home life 'i don't get on with my wife anymore shes just got the kids now i come a distant second all she does is nag. i don't even think she likes me' then he looke me dead in the eye and said 'but i know you like me.' 'how?' i asked, i mean i was freaking out i though my crush wasn't obvious. 'because i've been nice to you.' (my naive little self didn't realise he'd groomed me.) then he kissed my and i kissed hm back and so began our affair.Secrets and lies with a whole lot of misery thats all it was, telling my mum i was sleeping out with friends, checking into a grubby B and B or travelodge, having sex, going home. I had no social life i was so consumed by him he didn't want me to have one either, a lad at school once hugged me in the corridor in front of him the jealousy on his face was hugely evident and thats probably how the rumours began.Ah yes people, teacher/student affairs soon become open secrets iwas teased mercilessly, because he was really strict with everyone else and not me. At first it was 'hahaha shes the special one' 'ooooooh he likes you' but then one day someone said 'your sleeping with him thats why your the favorite. I flipped out screaming at the lad who said it......i all honesty you could tell it hit a nerve. So the rumours got worse and it sent me into depression i cut myself, didn't eat, drank heavily,smoked heavily. The teacher didn't care he was getting sex thats all he cared about. About a year after we first kissed we met up i'd done my GCSES now and was going to sixth form that september. A alcoholic by now and very much depressed i asked my lover if he loved me his response 'I'm the kind of man who can only love one woman at a time and you've got to remember i am married.' i felt a surge of hate then but i was addicted to him so couldn't finish it, its like drugs you hate what you do but need it.To cut a long story short i was in sixth form for half a year then someone caught us kissing in his classroom. The decision was made for me to go quietly because out of foolish loyalty i said the member of staff had walked in just as i was forcing myself on him. The day i walked out of that school for good was the day i walked out of his life for good. I never called him (he never called me either lol). Now i work in a dead end job with no prospects, i still have issues with alcohol and probably have mental health issues because i still think about him everyday....hes so programmed into me. Its not love its an emotional scar. My story shows how an innocent crush can turn so bad, i know its an extreme and i found an abusive pervert to crush on. But face it all you lot who have crushes, what other type of person is going to act on it with you?If i could tell that 15 year old me back then, who thought oooooh nice looking guy, what would happen over the next two years she wouldn't look in his direction again, i promise you that.DON'T BE LIKE ME ENJOY YOUR CHILDHOOD/INNOCENCE AND STOP OBSESSING NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
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female
reader, kitty_3  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 I never knew so many people had affairs with teachers!
personally, i would wait until i'd graduated and turned 18. it would make things alot less complicated.
A
female
reader, Koibito17  +, writes (23 February 2009):
What the article says above is SOOO RIGHT.
I've experienced having a relationship with my art teacher, and when we got caught by his wife, everything WENT MISERABLE and awkward.
I don't know how to handle conversations with him anymore, I feel so awkward everytime he teaches us or he is around; total zilch.
As soon as possible, a student must stop his/her feelings for his/her teacher. I'm telling all of you this since I've gone in the same situation and I regret it A LOT but, I didn't regret loving him. Get over your teacher before you get a miserable story out of it. If you don't want your teacher to lose his/her job, break it up with him/her.
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reader, Koibito17 +, writes (23 February 2009):
What article says above is SOOO RIGHT.
I've experienced having a relationship with my art teacher, and when we got caught by his wife, everything WENT MISERABLE and awkward.
I don't know how to handle conversations with him anymore, I feel so awkward everytime he teaches us or he is around; total zilch.
As soon as possible, a student must stop his/her feelings for his/her teacher. I'm telling all of you this since I've gone in the same situation and I regret it A LOT but, I didn't regret loving him. Get over your teacher before you get a miserable story out of it. If you don't want your teacher to lose his/her job, break it up with him/her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): This was a very nice article, thanks for the insight. And this is the exact reason why I don't want to do anything with my teacher but it is fun to fantasize(:
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reader, LoveJoy +, writes (25 July 2008):
 You know some of these stories just show theres a chance that your teacher loves you but theres also a chance that they dont, to take a chance in taking the relationship further is a great big smack in the face and ur lucky if you come out strong... Ii ent takin any chances...
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reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 I completly understand you. I've never been in the same situation as you are but I perfectly realized how hard and painful is forget someone who you loved and who hurt you on so many ways.
You made bad decision because you leave school. Maybe it would be better if you just go to the other school, where you won't see him.
He should leave school and family too, because he's not responsible enough to teach and to have relationship with his wife and has kids. 'm sure you're not the only one person he had been hurt. He's selfish enough to get hurt the whole world just to be sexual satisfied.
But now, you're the one who is important here. I don't know what kind of school program do you have in your country, but go to the another school and try to finish it. Do you want the rest of your life spend in job which is completly inappropriate for you and you're becoming sick because of it? I see from your writing you're smart girl. First try to clean up your mind, go to the psychologist or something. He/she wouldn't bite you. I was there and my psychologist really helped me. Or talk with some friend or parents. You really have to move on. I know alcohol makes you feel better, but it is limited for few hours.You probably know that. And go out, in club, disco, concert or something. You'll meet someone who is really right for you and who is worth of your love. I know it's sounds silly, but the best way to forget someone you love is to find somebody else. And maybe your teacher will become just sour memory very soon. Good luck and if you want, write me message.
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reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (28 June 2008):
 Very touching. A lesson all students in question should listen to.
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reader, Kiita  +, writes (20 June 2008):
hello. life's much about what you do with your stories. You have such a passional strong story with this guy. You ware a kid, but you know from the beggining (don't say you don't) that there's something wrong in dating your teacher. Please, assume yor part in your mistake (was it really a mistake?) and act like the adult you are now. If you don't want this dead end job, try a new jog, try getting more degrees. Come on, at age 15 you seduced a school teatcher. What is it that you can't achieve in life? Let this story make you a strong person, and let others learn from you experience and theirs.
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reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 Thank you so much for sharing this with us. This article speaks volumes and says so much more coming from you than anything than we could say. This is going to touch more young people in a way that will reach them. Thank you.
You are stronger than you think. Even if you crossed paths with the devil, you do have it in you to direct your own life. We can easily be victimized by someone who has evil intentions, but we are not victims. You are much stronger than you realize and this article is the proof of that. I'm quite sure that it has done a lot of good and touched a lot of young lives.
Bless.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): wow.thank you SO much for telling your story and i admire you for being strong and sharing it with us.i personally have strong emotions with my teacher and you make me see the negative side of the student-teacher relationship.i have a wonderful relationship with him(friends)and wow....sometimes nolie i wish he would be married so that i couldforget about him....but my teacher isnt even married no kids and currently just broke up with his girfriend.no lie sometimes i want more but i realize id hurt his life..i cant think about only me i have to think about him to....i care about him and hey just as long as i have his friendship thats all i need....even though it hurts but hmm....theres one thing i dont regret....loving him....feeling this beautiful feeling and that if it wasnt for school i probably woulda NEVER meet him.thank you again for sharing your story and this guy hes nothing but a jerk dont let him get to you okay hun....forget about him....i know thats hard but you have to.take care-Maria
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): Although I understand how terrible your situation was, I would like put an alternative point of view to this.I went to an all girls boarding school. In my eyes, this is a terrible thing for any parent to force upon a child, as although I know my parents sent me there because it was a very good school, whilst in such an establishment, one develops a fairly unbalanced view of life.As my school was a good five hours drive from my home, I didn't go home often at all, and thus the only male contact I had was with the male teachers, of which there weren't many.One of these teachers took my A level english lessons, and from the moment I first set eyes on him, I developed this immense crush on him. He was 34, and was really nice to me. I used to seee him a lot around the grounds outside of lessons and we'd often, having met by chance, walk around the grounds chatting about anything and everything - he was just lovely to me.Anyway, as time went on we got closer, and one day whilst on one of thes walks (which we had started arranging to go on by now), he took me down into the bit of woodland at the edge of the grounds. Once we were truly out of sight, he turned to come face to face with me, and he kissed me. Of course, I kissed him back, and I will never forget the feel of that first kiss, with him running his hand through my hair. Anyway, after this, we did indeed continue on to start having sex on a fairly regular basis. I was (and am today to some extent) totally in love with him - he was so nice to me.However, unlike the OP's experience, our relationship did not go sour. I left 6th form three years ago now, and am in my penultimate year at university. I still meet up with him, and speak to him on the phone on a regular basis, and his support has helped me through a lot of things, most of all my mother dying.I know pupil-teacher relationships are often bad, and are indeed not something which should take place in the first place, but I just wanted to put in a different point of view. Feel free to message me.
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reader, Angels Eyes +, writes (31 May 2008):
 OMG thanks so much for posting this i am kinda in the sme situation as you were. I'm compltely head over heels in love with my teacher and i always want something to happen between us and i know it will never happen cause i'm only 12 and theres a 15 year age gap between us!!And i know how much trounble it would cause!!But i now know after reading this how severe a teacher pupil relationship could get.Thanks againxx
E-mail me if you wantxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): Thank you for your courage in sharing this with us all. I wished I'd known you then, I wished somebody could have helped. Your very brave, and it's not fair that this man hurt you like this. I'm sorry, so very,very sorry.
Thank you so much for staying around to help others, all my love and blessings go out to you. Good luck, take care of you......
PS: OhLawdWhatDoIDo is right, your life isn't over, your still young, you can still continue your studies. You'll probably do very well as this time you have the determination and knowledge to put your head down, get your classwork done and pass your exams. It takes 7years to be a doctor in the UK. You are young enough to be a doctor, teacher and anything else you want to do untill you finally drop dead and meet your maker. Don't let him win, don't give up on your life.
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reader, OhLawdWhat DoIDo +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Your life isnt over yet! If I were in your position I would get back into education and finish it the best I could so that I could have some better job prospects.
Try and get some professional help about your alcoholism if youre not currently receiving any help. Same goes for the mental health issues.
Correct the authorities on the story with that teacher. He shouldnt be working as a teacher and you shouldnt have the blame round your neck!
I wish you the best of luck!
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reader, sweetuffy23 +, writes (30 May 2008):
This post should be a help to all you girls out there whos in love with your teachers.It is so upsetting that some people actually have to go through the situation and consequences as myself.I also went through this not realizing he was grooming me.Yea it wasnt just about looks it was personailty and he was so sweet.His wife wasnt treating him right and he needed someone there for him.Yea couple months later our sercret came out.I suffered through humiliation and depression for 3months and im still recovering at this moment.Its not a good scene.I'm speaking about a 30 year old with a 16 yearold.Its disgusting.He will move on with his life the struggle will only be hard for you.tHERE ARE TO MANY TEACHERS GROOMING STUDENTS.We are there to learn not to be preyed on.Even if its the studnets fault the teacher understands circumstances and rules.But anyways i thank the poster for posting this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed reading it, as so many girls have crushes on their teachers. I'm glad you're sharing this with us on DC :] I'm sorry to hear things didn't turn out for you, but things will get better.
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