A
female
age
30-35,
*ules22
writes:I need both guys and girls points of view!Basically,I am 14 and have given and recieved oral and today at school i stupidley let it slip. None of my friends have even given a hand job. i am very old in my year (year 9)as my b'day is in sep and will be 15 in 3 months. i definately do not regret having oral sex but am very consciece of what every1 thinks of me now. There is definately one girl whose opinion of me has changed for the worse but one of the guys opinions of me has changed for the better.Please help. i dunno what to think!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008): The only thing i can say is dont tell anyone your business. Especially girls. Girls are very mean! Just be careful you can get STDs through oral sex. Also remember that you are still young and that one day you will meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The more guys you do things with now the more embarrassed you will be when you are older. You can scare the most caring guy off if you 20 and you say you've had sex (including oral) with many men. Plus the most mind blowing and most satisfying sexual experiences are with someone you love. The guy could be a porn star and never be as good as the man you fall inlove with!
A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (7 June 2008):
I think everybodys said more than they meant to at some point!
So, your the first in your year, but somebody has to be the first.
Learn from this and make sure your private life is private, between you and your partner.
As long as your careful and are being responsible, then dont worry what others think.
Live your life they way you choose to.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Never trust your best friend or anybody at school with information about your private life, when the friendship gets sour....they get nasty!
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (6 June 2008):
 its fine not to regret it. just keep to yourself for a while. don't let anyone know whats going on and work out who and who not to trust with your problems and life. we will always be judged by what we do...its really stupid :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): look, im not gauging you i know how you fell but dont let people tell you how u shoulld be, best things is to focus on your school work then after 19 youve got 80 years to dress up and have sex as many times as you want, but its better knowing youve got you degrees and you dont need to rely on amyone ok. i know what your thinkin "that sad old prawn" but if you dont listen to me now, when you relize it will betoo late.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Hi Hun,
Ditto to what all the aunties have said about what is and isn't fit for public consumption. Keep your private life private. Even telling ONE person can start gossip, unfortunately. Girls get judged, guys still don't. That sure hasn't changed much.
Just wanted to make sure that you know, even if you can't get pregnant by oral sex, you should still be using a barrier method for BOTH! When giving - he should be wearing a condom, and receiving, you need a barrier method too, use plastic wrap or a "dental dam". Protect your health and future fertility. Herpes and other diseases can be transmitted, and they can affect you for life. Herpes, in particular, can cause you to have a cesarian section instead of natural childbirth. If you have an outbreak at the time of birth, the Doctor may insist on a C-section to prevent your child from getting the virus. SO - not a nice thing to hear - but it's important that you know the facts. Better safe than sorry.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Yeah, you basically get the "slut" label for being too sex-related in general.
Say your friend screws 3 different guys in spur-of-the-moment stupid hookups and "everyone knows" because of the rumors but she won't admit it or talk about it. And then you openly talk about buying condoms for sleeping with your long-term BF . . . YOU will probably get just as big of a "slut" label as she will.
Of course this is not right. And it's not even really a gender bias thing so much as a public-versus-private thing. It's just the way stuff works at that age. Being totoally open and up-front about something can be more shocking than secretly doing twice as much of it.
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A
female
reader, lushlass93 +, writes (6 June 2008):
 when everyone found out what i had done justlet it go on it shouldnt affect you you will be very surpridsed by what some people have done and what some havnt ia m in year bnine and most of the girls i know have had sex i am in the minority who havnt you shouldnt be thoiuhgt of as a slag because you are deciding to do theese things just rember you should make the decision to do it when you want not others
goodluck xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Well, use this as a lesson learned. Dont make it common knowledge what you get up to, and certainly dont shout it around the land or the school or you will be labelled a slag and it will be hard to get rid of that name in the future, just when you meet someone nice and you want to settle down with them. Stop it now.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): I remember being in year 8 and this girl show people in our class she has condoms and had sex, for the rest of the school years everyone saw her as a slut. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. The point is, sexual experience is personal, and unless you want everyone in your school to gossip about your private life, and at worse, judge you to be something you're not, then it is probably better you don't tell people your private business because it will get out and everyone will make bad judgements on you. Maybe it doesn't matter what other people think, but still, it isn't very nice knowing that there could be tons of people out there who are making unfair judgements on you.
Also I'm not surprised the girl has changed for the worst and the guys for the better. The girl can take the moral highground and with her own insecurities make herself feel better by judging you, whereas the guy probably thinks you are easy and "one of the lads".
It's very easy to get a reputation for yourself at school that will stay with you forever, remember that whenever you get up to anything and there are other people who will find out about it.
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