A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:Hello.Ok. me and my ex broke up almost 3 months ago.Now my problem is...my ex is giving me signs that he still likes me, but refuses to start anything with me again. Now Ive decided to move on because Ive become incredibly bored of crying over him every night and not being able to concentrate on anything.Ok so about 2 months ago, my ex told me that he had been thinking about asking me back out. I gathered he was just feeling that because we had just broke up so I told him I dont want him asking me until hes 1000% sure he wanted to. Now about 1 month ago, I went to a club with my mates for a party. Now it started off so well and I wasnt thinking of my ex at all and I was so happy. Then my friend told me that there friend saw him with another girl. I was quite shocked and felt rather let down and etc, and I became really upset. So the next thing that happens that night is that he turns up with a lod of friends to the party. I ignored him for some time but then spoke to him. I said I didnt want any arguements and that he has a right to have a gf, but all he did was shout at me saying how I could accuse him of such a thing. We didnt speak again after that for about a week. After that we spoke and settled things and he insisted he didnt want a new gf for a long time. I said I didnt mind and all I wanted was to just have the truth. A week later me and him went to a pub to see my friend sing in her band. My other friend apprently spoke to him and asked him if we were back together again. He said no but also said he wished we were, but doesnt know what I want. Now last week he was introduced to a girl by my friend who had a crush on him for about a week i think. When I found out I was quite upset, but I had told myself to move on and just forget about it. My friend who told me about her has now been mentioning her and him all the time, even though I ask him not too becuase I dont want to hear about them anymore. He has claimed that my ex and her now like each other after 6 days but whenever I ask my ex if hes found someone new he denies it.I want to move on, but I also want to know...what does he want with me?For some side notes...he dumped me. he wanted us to stay best friends after we split, he talks to me on msn all the time. (hes not a phone person)
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male
reader, CalciumBirdy +, writes (16 June 2008):
Sounds like he doesnt know what he wants.
Best adivce i can give is to stay away and forget about him. From my own knowledge guys dont like to admit they don't like someone anymore.
You dont need to get hurt anymore by the sound of it. He may be telling the truth about ur friend liking him, but from what you have said, he seems to be the type of guy who is going to try and make you jealous by claiming to like your friend.
You are strong enough not to let this get to you, because all he wants is you to come crawling back to him.
So my advice is just stay clear of him and watch him lose interest.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 It's never a good idea to remain friends after a split, especially if you were the dumpee. The one who got dumped is always looking for a reason or a sign that the dumper still likes them, and now that you had that sign, he has you jumping through hoops all over again. Look, the "biggest sign" is that he showed up to the party WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
If a guy is feeding you lines, whether it's out of trying to be nice and remain friends, or whether he is feeding his own ego by having you pining after him, the thing is that you should ignore what he SAYS, and watch what he DOES. Actions speak louder than words. Pay attention to what a man DOES.
You should move on and find someone else (and Make sure he cuter!!!). Sorry if this was blunt, but I though it was best to be straightforward - you are wasting your precious time on him and he doesn't deserve it. Stop dwelling on this problem, and look at the opportunity that it's presented you with, being single and free to look again! Everyone does go though this heartache, and being dumped once or twice, but that only means that your "guy" is still out there, waiting to meet you!
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