A
male
age
41-50,
*valdesmitsu
writes:I am married and I love another woman but I can't make a decision as to what to do. I love my wife but I'm not in love with my wife but i love our life, family and most of all my son. I am going crazy as to what to do. I can't imagine breaking this family up but I just can't get that feeling back no matter what we have tried. The other woman is madly in love with me and all i think about is being with her and sharing my life with her. I would not leave my wife and just start a relationship with her off the bat. I know that's wrong, I realize I need time to myself. I feel beyond horrible about this. My wife is a wonderful woman, spectacular in many ways but my love has faded. I need help ???!!! [Moderator note: Added second question by this poster to this thread. Copy follows below.]I am very well endowed and my wife and another woman I have sex with often have a hard time dealing with it. They complain that it's to big and I have to go slow and be extremely gentle. What can I do if anything at all ? Don't woman usually like it bigger ?Help ? ! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Oh Man! Don't open that before dinner.
I totally agree with Tisha. Women adore a faithful penis, no matter what size it is! It's THE most attractive quality IN a penis, as a matter of fact!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 June 2008):
 This is a very tricky question, with many people involved. One way to start to tackle this issue is to put your priorities in a list.
In no particular order I offer up some items for you to prioritize.
Son, girlfriend, wife, current standard of living, other offspring, house, friends, family other than the immediate nuclear group you listed.
Perhaps you might be doing your wife a favor if you gave her the option of finding another man who will not be engaged in extra-marital affairs? She might actually be happier with a man who is not sleeping around. In fact, I think that this might be a good idea, let her know that the marriage is on the rocks and that she can go out and find another man....
I expect that your wife probably knows that you're unhappy in your relationship. Women usually can figure this out, unless there is something else going on that has kept her from working on this dilemma. She may even know about the other woman, but has been waiting for you to make a choice.
As far as the size thing goes, well, there are men who know what to do with what they have, and those that don't. If you buy into the myth that women like it bigger, then you also have to work out what to do with the extra size. The fact of the matter is that most women prefer a penis that is faithful and theirs alone.
If the penis in question is going to be out there with other women, well, then, most women would prefer to know that so that they can make informed healthcare decisions. There are loads of things that are sexually transmitted, and most women I think, would like the option of not being exposed to them.
Here's a link for those of you who do not practice safe sex.
http://www.visualdxhealth.com/searchResults/adult_Male_Anogenital.htm
Good luck in whatever you decide.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 You don't need help. You need a good slap, and if you carry on as you are I'm fairly sure your wife will give it to you sooner or later.
Oh, yeah, I don't mean it literally, of course. I would never condone violence of any sort, although I suppose it's possible you might be the exception to the rule.
I don't think I've ever read a question or answer here from anyone quite so opinionated and, putting it as politely as I possibly can, self-centred and pig-ignorant.
Get your act together. Choose the woman you want, and explain to both of them that you made an awful mistake. If you are incredibly lucky and make an effort to change your attitude, the one you stay with will forgive you. Neither of them would, if they read what you've written here.
Sort it out, before it gets sorted out for you and everyone gets hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): Yes, moderator, I think that putting the 2 questions together was a very wise decision. It does allow the aunts to appreciate the entire situation.
To the person asking the question, there are many women who don't like big ones. It hurts or is at least uncomfortable many times. No, that is not from personal experience. I have been told that by some women and have read about it also.
If you want any woman to appreciate you sexually then you have got to learn to be gentle with your larger than life tool. Just because the only thing you have to pound in a nail to hang a picture is a 8 pound sledgehammer doesn't mean that you should swing it at the wall with all your strength. Be considerate and do other things to pleasure them besides trying to brush their teeth from the bottom end.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (16 June 2008):
 You cant have your cake and eat it, you have to decide. if you are not in love with your wife then try and get the sparkle back, its your responsibility as much as hers. As another auntie has said, love changes, when youre in it for the long haul there are many ups and downs but most men dont cheat they work at what they have to stop the love fading.
As for the big dong, no there is nothing you can do and as for women liking it big, theres big and theres too big. 10 inches is enough for me
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 June 2008):
 (Thank you Moderator for putting his two questions together. Put a whole new slant on the situation.) To the poster: It's obvious that you don't give a rat's ass for your wife's, son's, and family's well-being. If you decide to follow Dude's advice skip the doctor bill and just send me your address. I like to help people.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (16 June 2008):
You sound like an extremely sensitive and compassionate man. It's fortunate that you understand women well enough to know that a well-endowed man is difficult to find, that must be why you are sharing yourself with more than one woman, for their own benefit.
Not.
I think if I hear the words "I love her, I'm just not IN love with her" one more time, I'll scream. Grow up. Love changes. If all you wanted was that early adrenaline rush and no responsibilities, why on earth did you marry and have a child? OF COURSE the other woman adores you, she's not the one who has to wash the skid marks out of your shorts. Perhaps your penis is so huge because all of your blood is always in it and not in your brain where it should be! THINK! You stand to lose a lot if you continue this. And you also stand to have TWO families and be even more miserable because your love for your mistress will fade after she becomes a jock-washing, dull little housewife who takes care of your next child but doesn't attract you anymore because she has other mundane things to do BESIDES adore you - which of course will cause YOUR love for HER to fade AGAIN!!! Exactly how many times are you planning on doing this before you realize that YOU are responsible for your own happiness and that you get out of things what you put into them...
You aren't happy in you marriage because you aren't putting enough of yourself into your marriage. How can you when you are divided? Be a stand up guy. Be an example of what a man should be to your son. Be the kind of man that you admire. Don't be a schmuck who has to hide anonymously because he's skirting around on his young wife and son. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have them? Leave your mistress and reconnect with the woman that you chose to marry. Do the right thing.
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A
female
reader, Sexygirl01 +, writes (16 June 2008):
This is a decision you have to make for yourself. You need to ask your self who means to you more? your new love? or your own blood, which is your son. What is the guarantee that 10 years from now, this woman will still be by your side? At least you have some guarantee that your son and current wife will always be there. So you need to sit and ask yourself what makes you more happy? A family or the woman you might be infatuated with.
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