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*skEve agony aunt

*skEve

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*skEve's profile:

Hi,

Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.

I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.

If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.

********************************

Latest articles:

REAL Love!

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...

Some tips for a happy marriage!

This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...

20 questions to ask someone on a date!

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...

Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...

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Should i just be happy that i finally know where i am going in my life and accept that it is over or should i go with my dream of him and being at the college

Q.   Hallo ..i have been dating a younger man (29, pisces) for the past 1,5 years. It has been on and off because he has said there is no future between us and that we are not the same "class". Most people would be very upset with such comments but it ...

A.   21 March 2007: I would just go with the flow Jules, like you said he'll be leaving soon so it might be nice to give him something to remember you by. Have a great time whatever you decide. Eve... (read in full...)

Should i just be happy that i finally know where i am going in my life and accept that it is over or should i go with my dream of him and being at the college

Q.   Hallo ..i have been dating a younger man (29, pisces) for the past 1,5 years. It has been on and off because he has said there is no future between us and that we are not the same "class". Most people would be very upset with such comments but it ...

A.   20 March 2007: Well you are certainly thinking more positive Jules so that's great! And yes, if you don't run after him and he's interested then he WILL make contact. Did you manage to have a look at that movie I recommended? Eve... (read in full...)

Should i just be happy that i finally know where i am going in my life and accept that it is over or should i go with my dream of him and being at the college

Q.   Hallo ..i have been dating a younger man (29, pisces) for the past 1,5 years. It has been on and off because he has said there is no future between us and that we are not the same "class". Most people would be very upset with such comments but it ...

A.   11 March 2007: Hi Jules, He will pay for you to go over as long as you have sex with him! Hmmmm this puts a whole different light on things. I would still go over but go over with your own money and still go for your dream! The Secret is about the Law of Attra... (read in full...)

Been with the same guy for 15 years, I love him, but I also love someone else!!!

Q.   what do i do i have been with the same man for 15 years i do love him, but i am in love with another man i don't know what to do.they are both great men i don't see how i could choose between them.i have a 14 year old boy with the man i been with ...

A.   3 March 2007: There is a big difference between loving someone and being IN LOVE with someone. You say you love your partner but you're "in love" with this other man. 15 years is a long time to be with someone. You really need to ask yourself some very ... (read in full...)

Do his actions mean that he likes me or is he just flirtatious with all women ??

Q.   Guys please tell me what you think. I work with three men and eight women and one of the men I seem to have a really good working relationship with. He laughs and banters with all the women in a friendly way but when we are on our own he touches my ...

A.   3 March 2007: You said he laughs and banters with all the women so it might be that he's just the friendly type. Watch him more closely in the next couple of weeks and see if you see him doing the same with the others. Watch his eye movements with you too. ... (read in full...)

My ex told me he cant get married as he still loves me! Im totally in love with my bf and now im all confused and so lost!!!

Q.   Someone please Help me.. I really need replies that arnt the obviouse ones, but the really helpful ones... My ex and I have a child together who is now 4.. He and I split up after she was 1.. I am now with my significant other.. We have been tog...

A.   3 March 2007: You had some good times with your ex, and THAT is what you're thinking of just now. You might even feel sorry for him but don't! He's only trying to make you feel guilty and using you as the excuse not to marry this other girl. Don't fall for it. ... (read in full...)

Its not perfect but Im happy with the relationship, but out of the blue shes texting me telling me shes bad and feeling guilty towards my kindness, whats going on ?

Q.   Me and my gf had a relationship for 1+ years..for me,i wouldnt say it was a great relationship but i do feel happy with it..then suddenly out of blue, she told me through text message that she was feeling guilty towards my kindness to her and that ...

A.   3 March 2007: She's been a bad girl! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that one out... she's cheated with someone else and now feels guilty because you have been nothing but kind to her. She's too cowardly to even tell you straight! She's not for you. ... (read in full...)

We dated for 2 years, he said he loves me but isnt in love with me, is there any hope sticking around ?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend were together for almost 2 years. Towards the last few months of our relationship we were always fighting. After a talk he told me that he loves me but his just not in love with me anymore so now where just friends we still go ...

A.   3 March 2007: If you are still friends with him make sure it is as platonic friends only, in other words no sharing your bed with him as this way he's having his cake and eating it, no commitment with you but the sex is still on offer. It sounds as if the r... (read in full...)

After 3 children I'm not as tight as I used to be. How can I correct this?

Q.   hi, am 26yrs old. i got married at 18. I have 3 kids. i am happy with my life. but after my delivery my husband feels that I am not as tight as I used to be. What's the reason? Can anybody advice me? Is there any way to correct this, i want to ...

A.   3 March 2007: Because your vaginal muscles have been stretched to enable your baby's head to push through it can leave your vaginal muscles slacker than normal. What you need to do are Kegal exercises, which amongst other things will help tighten your vaginal ... (read in full...)

Should i just be happy that i finally know where i am going in my life and accept that it is over or should i go with my dream of him and being at the college

Q.   Hallo ..i have been dating a younger man (29, pisces) for the past 1,5 years. It has been on and off because he has said there is no future between us and that we are not the same "class". Most people would be very upset with such comments but it ...

A.   3 March 2007: Watch this movie! It's called "The Secret" It is $4.95 (3.75 euros) to watch immediately from your PC. http://thesecret.tv/home.html Trust me here and watch it, then come back to me and tell me if you still feel the same way! Eve ... (read in full...)

Should i just be happy that i finally know where i am going in my life and accept that it is over or should i go with my dream of him and being at the college

Q.   Hallo ..i have been dating a younger man (29, pisces) for the past 1,5 years. It has been on and off because he has said there is no future between us and that we are not the same "class". Most people would be very upset with such comments but it ...

A.   3 March 2007: I think this woman is WRONG! Very wrong! You sounded so full of enthusiasm when we last spoke, now you are thinking negatively because of the negative thoughts she's put into your head. You will be distracted because it takes so long to settle ... (read in full...)

What's stopping him from making a move on me?

Q.   I AM 17 YEARS OLD AND ON 26TH JANUARY 2007 I POSTED A PROBLEM I HAD WITH A GUY AT MY COLLEGE. I REALLY LIKE HIM BUT NOT SURE IF HE DOES HE ACTS LIKE HE CARES I GENUINELY THINK HE DOES. WE WERE GOOD TO START OFF WITH BUT PEOPLE GOT HE INVOLVED HIS ...

A.   3 March 2007: If you both got on before and then I don't see why he would lie to you. Maybe he is with someone else. You say you've text him and he hasn't returned your texts. His mates wouldn't know whether he'd spoken with you by text or not so I don't think ... (read in full...)

So many thoughts are running through my head. Should I stay in this relationship or should I go?

Q.   Goodness, where to start! I met my husband in 1998. For me it wasn't love at first sight, but rather relief that I was still atractive to the opposite sex after several hideous relationships. We married in 2002 and our son was born in 2003. ...

A.   3 March 2007: You're right, your son DOES need two happy parents and two assertive parents that can show him the best way in life. You are definitely NOT happy in this marriage, in fact the whole marriage has been a struggle for you. You didn't marry for love ... (read in full...)

I want to go out with her and I really like her but I can't have my friends finding out! What should I do?

Q.   Hi...I like this girl and i know she likes me (that way) and i want to go for it with her...but i dont want the people at school and my friends to know about it....i just cant be dealing with that right now..and i dont want to ask her not to tell ...

A.   3 March 2007: Stand up for yourself here. If you like her then go for it, take her out, show her off! Are you so intimidated by your friends that they seem to rule your private life? Eve... (read in full...)

My fiance went to the doctors for a check up. According to him this 'hot' female doctor smiled when she touched his penis! The nerve!

Q.   Am I being unreasonable? My fiance told me that this summer (before we got together) he went to a female doctor to get things checked out down there and he said that she was hot and she put her hand around his thing and smiled. Just picturing it ...

A.   3 March 2007: He's only looking for a reaction from you to see if it will make you jealous. No woman likes to think of another female touching "their man" down there. Make up a story and tell him something equally exciting and see how he reacts but definitely ... (read in full...)

We're great friends but I want to go out with him but at the same time I don't wanna spoil our friendship! Help.

Q.   There's this boy that I really like and I think he likes me too but I get the feeling that he will never ask me to take it a step up from just being friends. The other problem is that I don't know whether to take it further because we are absolutely ...

A.   3 March 2007: Continue being his friend, ask him if he wants to go for coke or a smoothy. Try to talk with him and open up to him and in turn he'll open up to you too. If you continue talking then his trust in you will grow and that friendship bond will ... (read in full...)

He always hangs out with the popular girls but I want him to spend time with me. What can I do?

Q.   i have a crush on this boy at my school he is really hot i have always wanted to ask him to skate but he always skates with the popular girls i dont know what to do i am 11 years old is it to young to like someone so much if no what do i do?...

A.   3 March 2007: I agree with Heather here. Polish up on your skating skills so he really notices you! Smile at him as you pass. Get friendly with the other girls too so you are mixing more with everyone. Don't put on a long face but try and stay happy. Guys ... (read in full...)

Do I just tolerate it or is there a way to get my husband back and lose this woman?

Q.   My husband and I dated off and on for nearly 6 years before we got married last June. He is very outgoing, social and even flirtatious which is often fine with me as I too can be. He met a married woman about 2 months ago and has since been ...

A.   3 March 2007: He's had other women friends before and you've been fine with that but there's "something about this one" you say. I would GO with your gut instinct. She needs to stop texting your husband. Here's the deal! Your husband likes the attentio... (read in full...)

Should I tell her I've slept with someone else since we've been apart?

Q.   My ex-girl friend wants to get back together with me after spending nearly a year apart. We had had a long term relationship (over ten years) but ran into problems sexually - I have a very high sex drive where she, for a number of reasons, didn't ...

A.   3 March 2007: Telling her would be the beginning of the end of your relationship. She already suffers from depression and you said it would really cut her up! Two very good reasons to deny it. If she asks just say "Well I went 18 months without it before so it ... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...

Q.   Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know. Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail. Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering wh...

A.   2 March 2007: Hats off to you Andrew, you do a wonderful job. All the selfless hours you work are to be commended. It's also nice when a questionner posts back to let us know how things have progressed or if our answers have helped any. That (for me ... (read in full...)

Why do I keep looking for ways to spice up sex with others?

Q.   I get so bored of sex with one person so fast. After a year of a relationship, I either get with someone else or, if I stay, I constantly look for things to spice it up.I'm quite insecure so most of them are bad ideas but I need them to keep me ...

A.   1 March 2007: Like you said you are insecure and having sex with different people is a way to make you feel powerful and "useful." You've never really fallen in love before have you? You are using men as objects to satisfy you and give you excitement. My ad... (read in full...)

I am Christian and am having feelings for this other man. I keep calling myself a bitch and a whore for feeling this way. How can I stop these feelings?

Q.   I've been married to my husband for about 10 months and together with him for about 5 years. I'm a housewife, he is a great guy. He is a faithful, loving and caring person. He works hard for me. We are both Christians. As a Christian, I know that it ...

A.   1 March 2007: You are infatuated with this man, nothing more. He looks good and you have been with your husband almost 6 years and have had no one else. Put these feelings out of your head. You said your husband is a good man. Show him attention, spice up ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to have sex with another guy while he watches!

Q.   my boyfriend wants me to have sex with another guy while he watches, we have been together 3 years and great relationship. Will he think any less of me, anyone else ever tried it??...

A.   1 March 2007: Hmmmmm how strong is the bond between you and your boyfriend? How much trust do you put in each other. How do YOU feel about trying this out? If you're game and he's absolutely fine with it then great but be very careful, fantasy and reality can ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend text me after coming back from 2 weeks abroad saying he was dying to see me again. 5 days have now passed and I haven't heard anything from him

Q.   Hi There, I like a guy and I thought this guy liked me. I am 26, he is 24. Things were going quite well and we were seeing each other a couple of times a week he text me quite a lot in between too. He went away recently to see family for ...

A.   1 March 2007: I think he really does want to see you otherwise he would never have text you but he has other things to do too. I wouldn't text him back. You already did that saying that would be nice. I agree, don't run after him, if he's interested he will ... (read in full...)

We have regular sex but I want to try something different.

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have regular sex but i we want to try something different my fiance dosent want to suggest anything just incase it up sets me and im dont want to incase its not what he wants any one got any suggestions, people have said karma ...

A.   1 March 2007: Here are a couple of websites that you can both browse together. They're quite graphic so I hope you're not offended. http://www.loversguide.com/sex_positions.0.html http://www.condoms.au.com/positions/positions.html Have fun! :o) Eve... (read in full...)

Should I remain indifferent and see if they would make the first move?

Q.   When I was young, I found that some girls showed interest in me when i acted indifferent to them. As an adult, I am still living in a dilemma whether I should express my interest to them first or remain indifferent and wait for them to make a move. ...

A.   1 March 2007: If you see a girl you like you can smile and be friendly but tell them you're not into anything heavy and just want to have some fun. That way you're letting them know right from the word go what to expect. Eve... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend whom he met on the rebound but cannot see a future with her. What should he do?

Q.   This is really for my ex partner, soon to be partner. We split up about 14 months ago but have recently started getting close again. He has a girlfriend whom he met on the rebound. He cares for her but does not love her and can't see them having ...

A.   1 March 2007: The best thing for you to do is back out of the picture for say two weeks. In that time he tells her that although he really likes her and respects her as a person he doesn't think the relationship is working and thinks it better if they just ... (read in full...)

Should I confront my cheating girlfriend?

Q.   I have been suspecting that my girl has been cheating but i didnt have proof. Two days ago I finally caught her with some guy, who was her ex boyfriend, leaving her apartment but she didnt see me. No wonder, the night before she did not pick up my ...

A.   1 March 2007: Next time you meet with her face to face ASK her what she did the night before, see what excuse she gives. Now you know what she did right? If she lies to you she's not worth your time and effort. If she's lied to you about this, what else has ... (read in full...)

For 3 years I have lied to him about my age and surname! Should I tell him the truth?

Q.   can someone help me? Not only have i lied about my age, i lied about my name.. i'm so ashamed of this... so can someone please help me!? Well i met my boyfriend 3 years ago when i was 17 turning 18, he asked me how old i was and i told him that ...

A.   1 March 2007: Hey it's only a year, I don't really think it would bother him as much as you think it would. Let him know you have something to tell him that's been bothering you for some time now. He'll think it's something really bad like cheating on him. ... (read in full...)

I have problems staying interested in a relationship. Any advice?

Q.   I have a problem staying interested in relationship (i am in a relationship now) i think its because i still have feelings for this other girl that i used to really like. but now my friend likes her and i am trying to help him get her but in ...

A.   1 March 2007: You're not interested in the relationship you're in because you're interested in someone else...simple! It's not fair on the girl you're with so I would finish with her and let her find someone who does have true feelings for her rather than go out ... (read in full...)

How do I get rid of my feelings for my ex girlfriend?

Q.   how do i get rid of my feelings for my ex girlfriend? i still love her...

A.   1 March 2007: It's always difficult to move on when you split up with someone you had feelings for. I take it she broke up with you? You don't say how long you've been together or what happened. Here is a link that will help you through your pain. It tells ... (read in full...)

I need to put him out of my mind! How can I get over him?

Q.   to make a long story short, i like this guy, however i know he's bad for me (for a string of reasons, and believe me they're valid) so im trying to get over him. we never had a relationship, but have admitted to having feelings and caring about each ...

A.   1 March 2007: You need to WANT to put him out of your mind. You are in control of your brain, no one else. You know he isn't right for you for lots of reasons so don't keep flogging a dead horse here. Think of all the problems you'd have if you got together ... (read in full...)

She rejected my love tonight. Should I keep trying or let it go?

Q.   A girl whom I adore and have adored deeply for a long time rejected my love tonight, though she did it in a semi-serious way. Should I keep trying or let it go? I don't want to seem clingy or annoying etc. Thankyou....

A.   1 March 2007: What did she do to reject you exactly? What did you do for her to reject you? Give me some more information and we'll try to get to the bottom of this. Eve... (read in full...)

I would absolutely love to have a 3-some but how do I approach the wife about it?

Q.   so...i kinda wanna have a threesome but how do i ask my wife if she wants to get involved? this could be a touchy area. i think it would be so hot to be with two girls but yeah asking the wife.......

A.   1 March 2007: You need to talk to her about it, suggest it one night when asking her if she has any fantasies. If she hesitates about it at all then I'd leave well alone. Exciting as it seems, it can be the beginning of the end for a marriage. Is a "hot" night ... (read in full...)

I had a brief affair with a married man, he's avoiding me now... how do I get him back?

Q.   i am a 29 year old career woman, have known this guy for a few months, through work, ( i work in HQ level and he works in district level, and our department recently has been doing collaboration with him, which he is the developer and i am the ...

A.   1 March 2007: You had a fling with him, he enjoyed it, no it's back to reality for him. He's avoiding you because it's over, plain and simple! He IS married and he doesn't want anything to get in the way of it. He was selfish and used you love but he's ... (read in full...)

I'm still madly in love with my ex husband but I'm married again.

Q.   I would love to know the answer to this question? I was married to a guy that wanted us to be swingers cause of me being 19 when we got married.I didn't have the chance to be a teenager and have fun in any way that i wanted.So I agreed. After a ...

A.   1 March 2007: Put it down to experience and move on. Forget your ex, you're married again!!! Why did you marry when you still have feelings for your ex??? Let him go and try to spice your own marriage up. Eve ... (read in full...)

He said he'd call when he got back, that his phone was charging but I still haven't heard from him. Is he cheating on me?

Q.   Is my fiance cheating on me? He is in Florida for two months just for fun (can take his work with him). Last night he turned his phone off because he said I was annoying him and he wanted to sleep. We talked things over and things were fine. Then, ...

A.   1 March 2007: Didn't he ask you if you'd like to go with him? Seems strange to me that he'd want to go away for 2 months without you. It sounds to me as if he's sowing his wild oats if I'm being honest. If he ALWAYS takes him phone with him then last night ... (read in full...)

He says I'm fat, wants to leave me and wants to have sex with other women... but I love him, what do I do?

Q.   hi me and my bf are together for 8years now.a year ago he started to swear at me then he changed alot towards me he got very rude and had a bad temper, he gets angry quickly. He told my yesterday he actually wants to leave me coz its my fault he ...

A.   1 March 2007: Sounds to me as if your relationship is one of habit more than anything else. He has no respect for you whatsoever and is bored! The relationship has run it's course. You need to move on here. Have some respect for yourself, let him see you ... (read in full...)

I have been with my girlfriend a year now and although we have sex I have never made her cum. Any advice?

Q.   hey there:) well... this is like my 1st message so it feels kinda weird. Right then... Ive been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a bit and we have sex alot.. alot alot lol. but yeah i have never made her cum... she says she love...

A.   1 March 2007: My advice to you would be to take your time with her and have lots of foreplay. Don't just dive in there. Giving her plenty oral will do it, explore her genital area with your tongue and give her clitoris plenty stimulation. Don't penetrate her ... (read in full...)

He doesn't trust condoms and I don't like taking medication including birth control pills. How can we combat this?

Q.   when my boyfriend and i are messing around to the point of possible sex, it always ends because he doesn't trust condoms and im not on birth control. he has asked me before if id think about going on it, and i have thought about it, but the more i ...

A.   1 March 2007: If you want to be "natural" and your partner doesn't want to take contraception either then the best form of contraception would be ABSTENTION! Eve... (read in full...)

I'm 12 and just lost my virginity, now I'm really regreting it!

Q.   omg....I am 12 and I lost my virginity this year. I love my bf...i do but, now I'm regreting wat i did. I feel like a slut now! I promised i would "save" myself until I got married! But i have just been wanting to do "it". I just wanted to see wat ...

A.   1 March 2007: Make an appointment to see your GP or go to a well woman's clinic and they will be able to test you AND it's confidential! Either that or buy a pregnancy kit and take a test. I would wait a little longer though to see if your period arrives before ... (read in full...)

I think my girlfriend is cheating with my ex-best friend!

Q.   I think my GF is cheating on me with my best friend. Him and I aren't friends anymore because he did something to her when they were alone in his apartment so i stopped talking to him. I just want to know how i can find out if she really is cheating ...

A.   1 March 2007: Ask her outright! WATCH her face. Does she look at you when she replies? Do her eyes dart to and from you? Does she look at the ground or anywhere BUT at you? Does she blush? Does she get angry and tell you not to be so stupid? Does she ... (read in full...)

I am in love but keep pushing him away because I was cheated on in the past. How can I fix this?

Q.   I have had issues the past few years with letting people in. I am in love right now with someone, but I keep pushing him away. It's like I don't want him to love me back. I think this is due to my past of being cheated on. How can I fix this?...

A.   1 March 2007: You need to believe in yourself and tell yourself that your failed past relationships have NOT been your fault. It takes two to make a relationship work. Be more assertive and try and build on your confidence and self esteem. h... (read in full...)

Should i just be happy that i finally know where i am going in my life and accept that it is over or should i go with my dream of him and being at the college

Q.   Hallo ..i have been dating a younger man (29, pisces) for the past 1,5 years. It has been on and off because he has said there is no future between us and that we are not the same "class". Most people would be very upset with such comments but it ...

A.   28 February 2007: I WOULD see him before he goes, there's nothing wrong with that, you are still good friends and you'll also be able to see by his body language how he feels about you. I do think you're right not to sleep with him. That will only cloud your ... (read in full...)

He doesn't trust condoms and I don't like taking medication including birth control pills. How can we combat this?

Q.   when my boyfriend and i are messing around to the point of possible sex, it always ends because he doesn't trust condoms and im not on birth control. he has asked me before if id think about going on it, and i have thought about it, but the more i ...

A.   28 February 2007: There are lots of different methods of contraception available today and not just the condom or the birthing pill. Have a look at the link for other methods that you might find more comfortable with. h... (read in full...)

Should i just be happy that i finally know where i am going in my life and accept that it is over or should i go with my dream of him and being at the college

Q.   Hallo ..i have been dating a younger man (29, pisces) for the past 1,5 years. It has been on and off because he has said there is no future between us and that we are not the same "class". Most people would be very upset with such comments but it ...

A.   25 February 2007: You said your passion is painting so I would pick up where you left off there and concentrate on that first and foremost in order to get your MA. He made you take a look at yourself once and put you on the right road, maybe him going to London i... (read in full...)

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