A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend wants me to have sex with another guy while he watches, we have been together 3 years and great relationship.Will he think any less of me, anyone else ever tried it??
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female
reader, mel2009  +, writes (31 March 2011):
My bf started this idea about 3 years ago and convinced me this is what he needed to make him cum more. He was absolutely obsessed with me fucking as many guys as I could with huge cocks no matter what sending me endless emails of guys off craisglist. I was willing to give it a go to spice up our spice life with the ones I liked but he become over time very frustrated they werent big enough. We have now been together for 6 years and have just recently broken up cause there doesnt see to be anything else sexually we havent tried and the spark is gone on both our sides for different reasons. We tried too much to quickly. I would strongly recommend you think long and hard before you open this window cause once its open fantasy becomes reality and things can get out of control especialy on the male front. Like what else can I get my gf to do. This became a obsession and nothing about love which is what I am about so I stopped and went in a different direction. It wasnt about us anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): Cuckoldry-- look that up.
This has nothing to do with "he loves you less" as some people mentioned.
You should consider the fact, that he loves you so much, he wants to see you happy and enjoying yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): this idea of your boyfriend is kind of stupid, well imature, why in the world would he want you to have sex with an other guy, AND WATCH IT? doesnt he love you...i believe you shouldnt do this...just beacuse your boyfriend is telling you this...he might as well have sex with you and video tape it, if he wants to see you do a guy...might as well be him right ???
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A
female
reader, staci  +, writes (5 March 2007):
Tell him u get 2 pick the guy. If he agrees then he probably just wants 2 c u do any guy. if u r into it then bang away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): Hi there
I have done this with my long term boyfriend and it was an incredibly horny experience and we both enjoyed the whole experience. We were and still remain very close. I wouldn't listen to those saying that he doesn't love you or can't have any respect for you to even ask you to do this. It seems to me that they can't seperate sex and love. For me it says that you have a good strong relationship for him to feel that he can talk to you and ask you about this. Not many people can. You need to decide whether this is something that you want to do and also (as previous people have said) whether your boyfriend will get jealous. If you have any fear that he may start comparing himself then don't do it. If he is comfortable with that then it's up to you. If you feel confident about this then it won't be the end of your relationship, it will be another step in an excellent sex life.
Since doing this with my boyfriend he hasn't once asked now we've done it with a bloke can we invite a girl round. It doesn't work like that. His fantasy isn't about sleeping with another girl. It's about watching you enjoying sex.
Have fun x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): It is ok fantasy land stuff but in reality i Don't think you should do this. It sounds more like his fantasy, in which case, he doesn't really love you at all. You are there to fulfill his fantasy. No. This action will only split you two up. I know you may feel you want to please your bloke but he isn't really thinking about you - is he? Tell him to get back on this planet and put more attention into your relationship and less on what he want. If he doesn't like it then just walk away and find a bloke who love you for you and not just for the sex toy image.
Take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (2 March 2007):
Okay, deep breath as I'm going to expose a little of my personal life here, but hopefully in doing so it will add weight to my answer. I'm guessing that none of the other people who have answered your question have had the kind of experience you're talking about. Well I have. I am in a long-term, extremely strong, close and loving relationship, but we have had threesomes involving another guy. Not hundreds of them - just a handful of times.
Now, I'm only speaking of our personal experience, but WE had a great time, it was a fantastic sexual experience for me and my partner (and the other guy!!) which we enjoyed so much we repeated it a handful of times. It is not demeaning, debasing, disrespectful, or immoral. Neither is it the beginning of the end of your relationship. The last time we did it was over 18 months ago, and our relationship is as strong, as close, as loving and as respectful as ever (and a good deal better than many more "normal" relationships which are full of pent-up frustrated and largely dishonest/secret sexual inclinations). However, that is just our story - it doesn't mean it would automatically work for you guys, so think about it carefully.
From your perspective, think about whether you like the idea yourself and feel turned on enough to want to do it for your own enjoyment as well as the shared enjoyment. You can't do it simply for him though. From his perspective, and here I agree with AskEve, he needs to be 100% sure he won't have any jealousy or comparison issues. If he has the slightest fear that the other guy might be bigger, or better than him or that you seem to be enjoying it just a bit too much, then DON'T do it. I never had any jealousy issues and have never been the jealous/possessive type. So when we did it, the more she enjoyed, well quite frankly, the more I enjoyed it - I never once thought "shit, he's bigger than me (and he was!) or he's better than me (no comment!) it was just a great piece of fun - but I was secure enough to have no doubts about our relationship outside of this bit of fun.
It worked for us superbly. But not everyone is the same, so think about it carefully.
Good luck and hope you have fun!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): In other words, you are asking 'will he still respect me me if I do this'? Well, what about you? Do you respect the fact that he even asked you to do this? Do you find it sort of disturbing that he would ask you to have sex in front of him, with another man. Quite frankly, I am wondering if he even does respect you. It seems your bf has grown complacent and has forgotten why he cares for you in the first place. He has lost interest in sole commitment, fidelity, happiness. He is no longer being protective of you and he only wants what is pleasing to him. He wants a fantasy fulfilled, just for him. So what does that tell you about him? I think he may be a high risk for anything long term..because he's demonstrating impulsiveness and poor judgement in this relationship. He's asking you to fulfill his sexual fantasy. The reality of all this, is when one's sexuality is so tied into gaining his own pleasures and not wanting to treat you like his lady but rather a 'sex toy-a piece of meat' for his own pleasure..I would be asking, what the hell is he thinking. Give him a resounding, huge 'NO' and re-evaluate this relationship, because he is proving that he is ultimately self-centered and he has forgotten that true joy does come from sharing his life and love with one person...you!
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A
female
reader, sugabean  +, writes (1 March 2007):
how much does your boyfriend love you and how much does he tresure your sexuality and your emotions is the question. if he can be so inlove with YOU he wouldn want any other person involved with you. It might be a test. it might just be a fantasy hes got!
YOU WILL GET HURT no him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): I think he will think less of you if you try it, he may just be a bit bored with your sex life. Try spicing it up by bying some books on sexual technique and try something new, give him the book so he can learn his new thing....and go have some one on one fun! I know he may think he is up for it, but threesomes always end up in someone feeling jealous and trust is forever eroded....my advice is do not go down that road, this is not a great sign in my book about your relationship, I think there may be some commitment issues here that you may not be looking at a long term commitment from this fellow. How long does he need to decide to ask you to marry him?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 March 2007):
 Hmmmmm how strong is the bond between you and your boyfriend? How much trust do you put in each other. How do YOU feel about trying this out? If you're game and he's absolutely fine with it then great but be very careful, fantasy and reality can be two completely different things. Is he normally a jealous person? Does he ever get jealous or possessive when you chat or flirt harmlessly with others? If the answer is yes to either of these questions then I definitely wouldn't do this. You might end up having it thrown in your face for months/years to come ie "you really did like it didn't you?" "was he better than me?" etc.
Only you know how possessive he can be. Like I said if he isn't then great! Just be careful that he doesn't throw you the old line.... "hey you got to try it with another guy so why shouldn't I try it with another woman, it's only fair!"
Dodgy ground! I wouldn't do it but that's just me!
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): Do "you" want to try it? How do "you" feel about it? It's not what he wants/thinks it's what how you feel/want. If you don't feel comfortable don't do it, if you want to then write down the pros and cons that it can do to your relashionsip. Good luck =)
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