A
female
age
36-40,
*reakfast@Tiffany's
writes:Me and my boyfriend were together for almost 2 years. Towards the last few months of our relationship we were always fighting. After a talk he told me that he loves me but his just not in love with me anymore so now where just friends we still go out on the weekends and he regularly calls. But I’m secretly hopeing that one day we'll be back together again but I don’t know if I’m waiting for nothing. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): You are in fact, waiting for a man who has used some cleverly crafted words to keep you hanging and that is sad because he's in control, here and you are allowing it. Get your personal power back and, tell him 'see ya around' and move on to greener pastures, dear. This question about people who state to another "I love you but I'm not in love with you" pops up a lot on this site. Let me tell you what I think when one says that to another. To me, these words are a huge smokescreen-in other words, he can't come clean with what he really feels so therefore it is hurting you and he's not being honest. He would be better off to say "I like you as ag good friend but I don't love you" The ""I love you but I'm not in love with you" words sound good but in actuality they are the words of a person who simply, doesn't love the other. These are the words of a man who likes to keep his female friends hanging, until he needs them. Kind of a selfish thing to do isn't it and it's working for him because he has you totally confused and wondering, doesn't it? When we date some in our life...it's all for a purpose. It's to find some to share a meaningful, exclusive, love relationship with. Someone who wants us as much as we want them. Right? Go on, minimize or totally obliterate contact here with this guy and get out there...and start living again. Go find a guy who when he says "i love you' , he really means and shows your through loving actions. You do really deserve so much more than simply....waiting on nothing.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (3 March 2007):
 If you are still friends with him make sure it is as platonic friends only, in other words no sharing your bed with him as this way he's having his cake and eating it, no commitment with you but the sex is still on offer.
It sounds as if the relationship has just run its course. The last few months you both began fighting and arguing all the time, this is usually a very clear sign that the relationship is weak. It's time for both of you to move on with your lives and make new friends, you may or may not get back together, but don't wait for him. Meet new people, take up new hobbies, finish your studies, get a career, go out and travel, see the world. There is so much you can do with your life, don't waste it hanging around waiting for something that might never happen.
Eve
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (3 March 2007):
 I do hope your not sleeping together as this will almost certainly just cause another complication... there is no such thing as just a friend and we have sex... Been there done that and it hurts like hell when the other doesnt want what you want!
If your secretly holding out staying friends just in case he changes his mind you could get set up for a bigger fall.. Hes told you that he loves you but not in love with you, im not sure that i see him changing... yes he likes the idea of hanging out and so do you, but to him its probably because he enjoys your company and its easier to hang and chill with you as you know him... and probably share some common ground... the problem is your already seeing more than he is... and hoping secretly that being his friend will make him fall "in Love" with you... this may only lead to heartache... i think the fact that the relationship ended in the first place is because it wasnt right for him and he didnt have the feelings you have... im sorry to say it and i know it hurts, but i really do think its the end of the road for the relationship, remaining such close friends is going to take its toll on you... Hes seeing it as friends, your seeing it as so much more hun.
Im not saying dont stay friends, im just saying be cautious as he really does just want to be your friend and be there for you but not in the way a boyfriend or a long term partner would be, the load has been lightened for him and feels easier that you know he doesnt love you in the true sense, but does still want to be part of your life.
Yes love can take years to build, but you cant put everything you have in to something that may not happen, remain open and dont close the door to other oppurtunites that may come your way....
Take care x
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female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (3 March 2007):
 If I were you I would keep the friendship you have for each other because good friends are hard to come by, but I wouldnt wate around for him to change his mind sweety.
Are you still sleeping together? if so DONT because if you are he will never commit to you(why buy an ice cream when they are giving them away????)
Dont go out looking for a new bf but if one comes your way and you like each other I would go for it.
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