A
female
age
36-40,
*indingitharder
writes:when my boyfriend and i are messing around to the point of possible sex, it always ends because he doesn't trust condoms and im not on birth control. he has asked me before if id think about going on it, and i have thought about it, but the more i think about it the more i don't want to. i know the negative risks of birth control are small, but i feel like i don't want to take the chance. also its just simple that i don't want to be on any medication even if it is just birth control.i supposed my question is what do you think i should do? are there any ways around this problem besides me giving in and getting on some sort of birth control? or is there anything that could get him to change his mind about condoms?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (1 March 2007):
 Condoms don't just protect against pregnancy, they can help prevent the spread of infectious disease as well.
I think this calls for a rethink.
A
female
reader, Whisper +, writes (1 March 2007):
 I think the best method is the contraceptive pill. Lets face it, getting in the momement and then having to stop and put a condom on kinda kills it i agree with your bf! Contraceptive pills are safer than they have ever been, and its not really that hard to take them, they are also discreet. There may be other methods of contraception to suit u better though, but i was in the same position as you, the pill suites me! Go toyour family planning clinic and have a chat, they are very helpful :)
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 March 2007):
 If you want to be "natural" and your partner doesn't want to take contraception either then the best form of contraception would be ABSTENTION!
Eve
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A
female
reader, findingitharder +, writes (28 February 2007):
findingitharder is verified as being by the original poster of the question these are all very helpful answers!
thank you all so much.
but really its just that i don't want to be on any certain type of birth control be it the shot, the pill, the coil ect... i wanna be natural! hah
but im def taking all these answers into consideration, i really do need to talk to a doctor and talk to my babe.
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A
female
reader, mum2be +, writes (28 February 2007):
You could try the coil, but that can give you pinful stomach cramps for the first few days. See you local family plnning clinic for advice. Whatever, even if you don't trust condoms 100%, make sure you still use them, they are usually effective and help protect against STI's
all the best
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A
male
reader, mwendwa  +, writes (28 February 2007):
when talking about this he should also know that there some contraceptives for men. although they are not very popular he should also consider using them.if there is love involved then I am sure that you will both find the 'centre' and solve this.
goodluck
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (28 February 2007):
There are lots of different methods of contraception available today and not just the condom or the birthing pill. Have a look at the link for other methods that you might find more comfortable with.
http://www.sexualityandu.ca/adults/contraception-2.aspx
The best thing to do is to make an appointment with your family planning clinic and talk to them about it. They will take everything into consideration and help you decide on the best method for you both.
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): Please consider the risk you run of HIV without a condom. It is a good way to protect yourself until you in a fully committed relationship. Boyfriends come and go, some are truthful and some lie about past partners and cheating. Get yourselves tested, use more that one contraception and use condoms until you get married. Everyone else here was right about visiting your local clinic together, they can help you both decide (and persude him that condoms are best along with something else).
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 February 2007):
 You know, I think you should go to your local clinic.
I really do. Tell them exactly what you wrote here, that you don't trust condoms and you're wary of taking medications and they can talk to you really thoroughly about your options. I'd suggest going to a Planned Parenthood near you. They're great, will talk to you for as long as you want and their main goal is to set you up with a birth control method that you feel comfortable with.
Even just call them on the phone! Planned Parenthood, they're fabulous!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (27 February 2007):
 I think it would be a good idea to visit your doctor / family planning clinic for advice, as there are lots of options. I understand your concern with medication, as I am reluctant to take any pills myself unless it is a life or death matter. However, I am not in your position, with the worry of a possible pregnancy, un-planned. I suggest you both visit a clinic TOGETHER, to discuss the options available. there`s sure to be an option that will suit you both. Kind Regards, Heather.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (27 February 2007):
 Hi,I think that if you embarking on a sexual relationship with someone you have to be prepared to take some sort of precautions. The onus should be on both of you not just one. If the comdom isnt ideal or the Pill then there are several other options... The coil, the injection, the nuvaring, the cap.... if you do a google search or a speak to your family planning clinic they will give you all the advice you will need.These two links may be of help to you.http://www.ruthinking.co.uk/about_sex/contraception/index.aspxhttp://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptivecoil.htm
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