A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:to make a long story short, i like this guy, however i know he's bad for me (for a string of reasons, and believe me they're valid) so im trying to get over him. we never had a relationship, but have admitted to having feelings and caring about each other. we stopped talking suddenly (after talking for close to 4 hours a day for awhile) because i realized i should stop. im just having trouble getting him off my mind. i've tried to talk to my friends, go out, but everything is a temporary distraction, i still am alone at night wanting to talk to only him. is there anything to help getting over someone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fairhalflin  +, writes (2 March 2007):
 you need to stop looking at all the good things about him and look at his flaws. learn to WANT to not have him around. you dont seem very enthusiastic about getting over him. either that or just shut him off completely from your world...it works. its cruel but it works.
dont worry, everything will be okay.
just dont dwell on it.
if you find yourself thinking about him...do something like reading or something.
try your hardest.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (1 March 2007):
 You need to WANT to put him out of your mind. You are in control of your brain, no one else. You know he isn't right for you for lots of reasons so don't keep flogging a dead horse here. Think of all the problems you'd have if you got together with him. Think POSITIVE! Tell yourself you deserve much better. Keep yourself busy and think about other things when you're alone. It does work, you just need to really apply yourself. The more you say you don't WANT him the more you'll think of him. So stop wanting.....
Think of all the worst case scenarios that could happen if you got together with him. Would he cause you heartbreak? Would it cause you to fall out with family? Would he cheat? Steal? Bring you problem after problem? Do you really need all of this in your life? The guy's a loser, you know that deep down. Save yourself the hassle love and move on. You CAN do it, you just need remain positive and assertive. YOU are in charge of your thoughts, no one else.
Eve
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