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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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Concerned about people who sleep with those who they know are mairried.
Q. Why is it that advice given to a mistress is way off it seems that people do not want to hurt these people's feelings. Well as for my husband's affair there was no feelings pure anal sex is what she promised online and that turned out to be a ...
A. 30 January 2008: you're right, we live in a society with the "greedy" belief, take if available. It comes down to making choices, thinking of the choices we make and the consequenses of making those choices.
I lead a non-dramatic life. I believe myself to be some... (read in full...)
I am thinking about going on anti-depressants...any advice??
Q. I have been depressed off and on for some years and am thinking about going on an anti-depressant. What have you heard? Any suggestions? I know that most of them have the same side-effects. I was on Prozac before and it didn't work out. I know this ...
A. 28 January 2008: The reason I asked, not giving too much detail, is BPD is a disorder that the main element is past trauma. Working with people with this disorder, they have had close relations die tragically, have been rape victims (which may include being sexually ... (read in full...)
I am thinking about going on anti-depressants...any advice??
Q. I have been depressed off and on for some years and am thinking about going on an anti-depressant. What have you heard? Any suggestions? I know that most of them have the same side-effects. I was on Prozac before and it didn't work out. I know this ...
A. 26 January 2008: OK the, Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not saying, you personally would choose to use it as a cure. Let me ask you this. Asside from hurting yourself, what was your diagnosis of BPD based off of? BPD is much different than depression, and ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give me tips on making my guy scream with pleasure in bed!?
Q. Well, another question... since I'm new in this thing called "SEX", I'm so curious, I've give my boyfriend blow jobs, normal thing I know, but the thing is that I don't feel like I'm giving him enough pleasure, when he is doing it to me I'm desperat...
A. 25 January 2008: Cherriepie has some good ideas for you. My idea was much simpler, since generally guys are not too loud (afraid of waking the neighbors...) lol. Right before he climax's light and stick a lighter under his rear. You'll get a scream. lol... (read in full...)
Will he cheat on me?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been living together for almost 5 years now and part of me truly beleaves that he loves me and part does not. I was in a very bad marriage. He says that he does not watch porn or looks at other woman on the computer but i ...
A. 25 January 2008: His spanking the monkey, or watching the porn is not the real issue here. First of all, you're comparing this relationshp with your last. Actually when you do that, you're comparing your boyfriend to your ex. Remember, no one ever has a bad ... (read in full...)
She wrote love notes to her ex and I found them! How do I forget this and move on with her?
Q. Hi all, I need a little advice... My partner and I have been living together for 5mths now. When we first met we were both fresh out of previous relationships - I had been dating someone for 2mths and she had been in a relationship for 2yrs....
A. 25 January 2008: I think she needs a true opinion about her behavior. How can she say these things, then claim she loves you so much and she was stupid. I'm sorry, but if I'm really in love, I might be stupid by "accidentially" leaving the toilet seat up, not ... (read in full...)
I am thinking about going on anti-depressants...any advice??
Q. I have been depressed off and on for some years and am thinking about going on an anti-depressant. What have you heard? Any suggestions? I know that most of them have the same side-effects. I was on Prozac before and it didn't work out. I know this ...
A. 25 January 2008: i'm on lexapro, it works well for me, with no side affects. of course their may be with any medication if you just stop taking it, instead of slowly getting off of it. as far as the depression is concerned, lexapro works well. you're able to have ... (read in full...)
I'm 9 weeks pregnant..and I'm so happy about it. But I'm booked for an abortion!! ! Help!
Q. i am 9 weeks pregnant and to be honest im really happy about it. unfortunately my boyfriend is not so happy. this isnt because he doesnt want it but the cost of trying to support our baby. we are both in our 20's do not have a stable home to live ...
A. 25 January 2008: Follow your heart. I agree with the other poster. I saw something as well where they assist people who have had children. I'm not going to judge you, but adoption does give your baby a chance to live, and be raised by a loving family. Once other ... (read in full...)
He propsed to me, at the top of the Eiffel Tower--but I'm just not sure if I love him because there is this other guy....
Q. Im in love with two men. Hello i hope you can help as i am so emotional at the moment, i just dont know what to do anymore. I have recently got engaged to the most wonderful man in the world, i have been with my now fiancee for over 3 years and ...
A. 25 January 2008: We all think of could of, would of, should of. I still think about someone I haven't been with for almost 18 years. It's part of life. You mentioned you couldn't see yourself being with him long term, and just want him as a best friend. ... (read in full...)
She cheated before. I think she is again! Help!
Q. Hi I am 40 and I've been married for 13 years and know each other for 18 I have three children 8, 6, and 4. My wife had an affair within the first year of our marriage but I somehow managed to forgive and give her my trust back. Do you give trust or ...
A. 24 January 2008: First of all Bipolar has nothing to do with her behavior. It's a biological disorder, so you were born with it. Aggrivation or stress can act as triggers for the symptoms, but the disorder itsself allready existed. Second, never admit your part in ... (read in full...)
Aren't we too old for childish head games like these? Please advise.
Q. Okay...so this is my problem. I have always been slightly attached to one guy (Z) that I've known for about five years now. We were friends first and then after about a year we decided to try a relationship; however, that didn't work out too wel...
A. 24 January 2008: I think that's a question you need to ask him. I will say though, even if he does actually feel about you the way he says, let him know, it was not nice playing with that other girls emotions. Real friends don't do that. ... (read in full...)
Concerned about people who sleep with those who they know are mairried.
Q. Why is it that advice given to a mistress is way off it seems that people do not want to hurt these people's feelings. Well as for my husband's affair there was no feelings pure anal sex is what she promised online and that turned out to be a ...
A. 24 January 2008: The same shall be given to the men who choose to sleep with someone while they are married. A marriage is suppose to be based off love, respect, caring for the others feelings, not knowingly take part in activities they know will hurt the person the ... (read in full...)
She lied! It turns out she's pregnant. I don't know what to do?
Q. why l was lied to about a pregnancy, we split up after a 2 1/2 year relationship with my partner, shes told me to leave her house and not come back, after accusing me of cheating on her, which is not true l have my whole family which back me up,the ...
A. 24 January 2008: It oould be her plan. You didn't give enough information to really determine that. As far as the baby, call your local government, ask them if they participate or have a paternity registery. That's something that was started to prevent mallicious ... (read in full...)
He was in jail for a year and has missed out time with our son. Now I want to leave. What should I do?
Q. ok i have a problem. i've been with this man for about 4 years but last year fot the whole year he was in jail. he missed out on the best part which is our son. now that he's out he tries to have me home all day everyday and i have to do what he ...
A. 24 January 2008: You do not have to do what he says. Who is to say that anyone has the right over another person in telling them what to do and what not too. You have a son and he is your number one priority. It's your duty to take care of him, even if it means ... (read in full...)
What do we do about visitation for the children now we are splitting?
Q. I have come to end of my relationship of ten years.I belive its OVER!! After ten years,and 3 kids he recently TOLD me we have no future together.I have put up with his manic depression,his affair,his mental,verbal and physical abuse.Him twisting ...
A. 24 January 2008: you're in a different country. i recommend seeing a lawyer regarding this. i believe in your situation, getting the custody legally done in court would be the smartest thing you could do. i don't know what it's like there but here, there is no ... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex back?
Q. hi, this sounds really stupid but i need help on how to get an old boyfreind back we split late last year, he ended it, but i still have feelings for him, guess it was because he was my first. but ive still got his number and know where he lives but ...
A. 24 January 2008: You have some issues if you think he's more experienced than you are. Expereince has nothing to do with the ability to. You can't look at life that way. Do you think people who really fall in love, are love experts before they do?
Why don't you ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 6 months pregnant, married only a year and a half and my husband is leaving me, I don't know what to do, help?
Q. Hello everyone, My name is Caroline, I'm totally new on this. I only really came across it a few days ago through looking on the internet for answers I guess. My situation is awful, I'm 34, we got married in July 2006, bought our house together i...
A. 24 January 2008: After reading this, and remember we're not there with you to really experience or know who your partner really is, I would be a bit more worried about staying with him, than I would being a single parent. His behavior is not the behavior of someone ... (read in full...)
Furious over cheat claims... But what can I do about it???
Q. I need some advise people! I was out on a night out a few months ago with some friends from my uni and while out we invited a man to join us. we were all dancing with him, then i got left with him. 5 minutes later i was being accused of cheating on ...
A. 23 January 2008: I wouldn't worry about her. She'll find it doesn't bother you, then quit. People can't bug someone they can't bug. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't like my speaking style and he cuts me off. Why is he so rude to me?
Q. My b/f of 3 yrs.is continually cutting me off in the middle of something I'm saying because he says I "take too many words to tell a story"...he wants simple yes, no, and very few words. The least amount of words possible to say whatever I need to ...
A. 23 January 2008: These behaviors are controlling. He's attempting to control your actions to fit what he wants. A relationship, is being free to express yourself. People don't date because they want some clone like themselves, they do so because the respect the ... (read in full...)
I may have an STD and if I do...does this mean my bf may have cheated on me?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 months now, we have a great relationship and i love him loads. A couple of weeks ago i started noticing little lumps down below and i think i may have a STD or something (its quite sore and the skins gone b...
A. 23 January 2008: It could be so many different things. Do you shave down below? Could it be bumps cause by a razor burn? If you've changed soaps, or something that has come in contact that causes irritation. I would wait to see the doctor before placing blame or ... (read in full...)
Everything was great till she said I lied about my past.
Q. Been in a relationship for 9 months. Everything was great till she said I lied about my past. She is a police officer and I had a case that was going on it finally ended two days before Xmas. With a ruling that we could still see each other. She ...
A. 23 January 2008: I'd just apologize to her. There are crimes, that if convicted, a police officer is not allowed to date. Any type of assualt, domestic crimes that include any form of violence, felony's etc. That's because the person convicted can not be around ... (read in full...)
My Dad ignores me...is this why I always go for older men to date?
Q. I have this thing where i always fancy older men, and by that i mean aged between 25 and about 40...its really bad, and my friends are a bit like wtf.... i know the only reason i am attracted to them is because im looking for a fatherly figure ...
A. 23 January 2008: The father figure idea, is that girls seek adult male affection, such as between a daughter and a father. Being attracted to older men, all though it may develop into a sexual attraction, with the attraction comes a false sense of the affection ... (read in full...)
I'm bi and thinking of women too much. How can I work this through without it affecting my relationship?
Q. I am in a loving relationship with my long term boyfriend. I consider myself to be bisexual and cannot stop thinking about women at the moment. It is beginning to affect our physical relationship a little bit. How can I work through this without ...
A. 23 January 2008: You have to remember temptation is all around us. You say you're in a loving relationship. The sex included in a relaitonship where the two are really in love is much deeper than just the act of having sex. In that sort of relationship, the issue ... (read in full...)
I'm loney, sad and bitter! How can I find happiness?
Q. Im so god damn stressed and depressed. I feel like my life is a load of crap and it will never get better. At work, i feel like im not good enough for them, im just to common, I girl that likes to have a good time, im not stuck up my own arse! M...
A. 23 January 2008: First of all buying a vibrator is OK. I know pleanty of women who have them. I don't think any less of them than I would any other women. Second, no all guys cheat. I'm someone who does not. I'd casterate myself before you'd find me inflicting that ... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past disgusts me--over 20 guys from the age of 16-18!!
Q. When me and my wife first hooked up, she was 18 and had me thinking she had been with two guys before me. Then the first lie came to light when I had to take a DNA test for our first son, because on a trip back home she had sex with "a friend". So ...
A. 23 January 2008: It's up to you. You're the one who deicides the level of hope you still have in being with her. I didn't think that in the beginning of relationships part of the personality test is how many people you slept with. Now, it is wrong misleading the ... (read in full...)
I'm going through severe depressive episodes along with anxiety. I can't eat, sleep or drink anything. Does this guy love me??
Q. I recently posted a question concerning my boyfriend. We have been dating for five months. I suffer from clinical depression and have been struggling on sunday and monday a little bit. We were supposed to get together on Friday, but when I called ...
A. 23 January 2008: You do deserve an answer. I wouldn't wait for even more days. In getting an answer, you need to be willing to accept whatever that answer may be. I can't tell you what it will be, and I don't want to judge. Sometimes guys have issues that come up, ... (read in full...)
He is so loving and caring to her but her sexual desires are not met. What's his problem?
Q. I'm writing this on behalf of my sister. She got married(by a proposal) last week and after her honeymoon of 7days, she was complaining about her newly married husband's sexual attitude. We are in Sri Lanka and since it's an asian country,...
A. 22 January 2008: you need to address #4. If he's expressing a fear of not being able to perform, that needs to be addressed. He might be afraid of not being able to please her. Some people it's easier not to try, instead of trying and failing. He also needs to ... (read in full...)
Is it strange to not miss sex?
Q. when i make out i dont feel anything, even when im having sex.. i feel as if i could do with out it. I just broke up with my ex a couple of months ago, and all my friends keep asking me how im holding up with no sex. TO be honest i feel fine... i ...
A. 22 January 2008: I've gone almost 2 years without. Just like quitting smoking, there will be withdraws at times, but they only last a short time just like a ciagarrette withdraw.
Take care... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 22 January 2008: It's about time. lol. Take care.... (read in full...)
We have hurt each other very much and now she has left. I love her though...advice?
Q. Help, my wife has left me! We have hurt each other very much and now she has left. I love her very much and I know she loves me, but the pain is to big at this point. We have children and I also don't want them to hurt. I am feeling depressed and I ...
A. 22 January 2008: First of all, you need to look at and grasp a hold of why you chose her to marry. This is your motivation to create change. Change is difficult, but it's well worth it. You said you both hurt eachother very much. With your change, you can't look at ... (read in full...)
Everything still reminds me of her and I dream about her all the time. It still hurts to have lost her. Any advice?
Q. Was with a girl for 2.5 years. We had lots of ups and downs. She had a problem lying(sometimes for my better) and i had some times where i got anger and treated her like shit. We truly split back in May when i missed a important event of ...
A. 22 January 2008: You're right, quite often we don't see the problems we caused form our end until the damage has all ready been done. At least you have the personal responsibility to see the areas that you did, indtead of just blaming everything elsewhere.
D... (read in full...)
Dating this guy could create problems with my ex...help!
Q. My partner left me, after a four year relationship, nearly 7 months ago when our baby was less than a month old. My dilemma is that one of his best friends and I have feelings for each other and we don't know whether or not to act on them. We have ...
A. 22 January 2008: no it's not wrong. your ex left you, you're open to date who you choose, and without intimidation from your ex. do what's right for you and your child. don't keep yourself prisoned because of your ex.... (read in full...)
I want him to love me more! So much so that he's be scared to leave me...
Q. i want to make my boyfriend love me so much so that he gets scared to leave me, but i dont know how....
A. 22 January 2008: I think you have some fears generating here. You can't make anyone love you. You just be a good person for him, and if it's meant to be, his love will take care of its self. I wish there was an easier answer, but that's just not how it works.... (read in full...)
Do I delete her email before he sees it?
Q. I need your advice. My problem is and had always been my bf's ex. When my bf and I started dating they were still seeing each other, then he promise me that he had no feeling for her and that everything was over between him and her. That was at ...
A. 21 January 2008: I'd let him know that you know what's going on, you don't appreciate being played, and will not be there for his game playing. You don't deserve to be in the middle of these people. Stop contact with him, and find someone wants to be with you for ... (read in full...)
How can I put a stop to her being abused?
Q. im close friends with a girl who is in an abusive relationship, but shes too scared to finish it incase things turn really nasty. what do i do to help her? he repeatedly beats her and has even attacked her with knives, resulting in numerous ...
A. 21 January 2008: notify the authorities.... (read in full...)
My husband told me to sleep with another man, I have and liked it,will we have problems?
Q. my husband, of two years,. has given me permission to have sex with other men. i did not ask him for this, he just told me it was ok one day while we were raking the yard (why, when we were raking the yard...wouldn't bed be a better place...but ...
A. 21 January 2008: It's not him sleeping with others. Your question is with you. With marriage comes responsability, respect, honesty. He told you to do it, you liked it and want to keep doing it. That's fine, if he said you can do it over and over again. If it was ... (read in full...)
My bf has a strange problem...is there help for this?
Q. Okay, so this is really weird, but any help would be much appreciated..! I had noticed that whenever my boyfriend of 5 months(who is 18) and I(16) are on a night out together and have been drinking, he tends not to speak to me very much at all...
A. 21 January 2008: This does sound weird. He needs to get checked by a doctor. The only one I can think of off the top of my head is anxiety.... (read in full...)
What does that mean?
Q. theres this guy dat hates the guy im datinn because he likes me...so i broke up with himmmm then he finally started to talk to him. i broke up infront of the guy i likeee den he started to laugh he told my ex "first is nicole now jamie....why dont ...
A. 21 January 2008: it means he sees you as being a player. someone who's not really serious about the boyfriend or the boyfriends feelings. no it doesn't mean he likes you. it means if you break up with your boyfriends in the way you did, then it wouldn't be to ... (read in full...)
Lost after mothers Death and Wife leaving me for some other guy
Q. Hi There, On Thursday my wife who i married only in april of last year told me it is over, we had been together for five and a half years. She started this process back in november by saying that she just wasnt happy in the relationship and...
A. 21 January 2008: You can, and you will face this. It just doesn't seem as if she was the one for you. The marriage was more a way of securing her from leaving, instead of getting married for the right reasons. Marriage is a commitment, and some people (female and ... (read in full...)
My bf's ex-gf is psycho? And now, I'm going nutty..help me out here!
Q. I don't know where to begin. I have had alot of bad relationships. I know what you're supposed to say and not say. Pretty much I always get sick of how people treat me and then I just act like them and I can't help it. I hate myself cause I like do ...
A. 21 January 2008: I think you really have a good grasp on these behaviors and recognizing how they are not OK and can cause problems and also really destroy relationships. That's good. What is not is there is too much transferance going on here. That's where these ... (read in full...)
How can I be like everyone else?
Q. ok, i dont know where to start really. I am a 19 year old girl, perfect life at uni, perfect boyfriend. I should be so happy. I live with 4 lovley girls. However, i hate who i am. I know it sounds ridiculous. I know im quite a nice person but i don...
A. 21 January 2008: You're normal. The way you're feeling is not strange. You just need to spend some time re-defining yourself, and who you are, not being like everyone else. What do you want to do? What direction do you want to take? What career do you want? What are ... (read in full...)
If my bf has never gotten a girl pregnant with the pull out method...does that mean he doesn't have pre-cum?
Q. My boyfriend is quite experienced sexually and has been using the pull out method for as long as he could remember. I understand that pre-ejaculates occur in some men but not others. If my boyfriend has never gotten a girl pregnant throughout his ...
A. 21 January 2008: nope just means he hasn't gotten anyone pregnant... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend does not know I acted so as to please another man only because this threatened me he would harm him... or us both!
Q. Hi. Well I think I've got a huge question... I think about 3 months ago my boyfriend and I broke up. I took it really hard at first and then I just sort went on with things and didn't really care...because we weren't talking to each other... ab...
A. 20 January 2008: There are unresolved issues. Get in out in the open with him to discuss what had happened. Being controlled like this and made to act in a way that is against your beliefs is wrong. It should not be something that is condoned or put up with.
B... (read in full...)
My bf's ex-gf is psycho? And now, I'm going nutty..help me out here!
Q. I don't know where to begin. I have had alot of bad relationships. I know what you're supposed to say and not say. Pretty much I always get sick of how people treat me and then I just act like them and I can't help it. I hate myself cause I like do ...
A. 20 January 2008: First of all, you do belong, if there wasn't part of you that believe that, you wouldn't be on here asking for help. He needs to get out of your life. Not because you don't love him, just that you can't jeprodize the possible safety of your ... (read in full...)
My husband told me to sleep with another man, I have and liked it,will we have problems?
Q. my husband, of two years,. has given me permission to have sex with other men. i did not ask him for this, he just told me it was ok one day while we were raking the yard (why, when we were raking the yard...wouldn't bed be a better place...but ...
A. 16 January 2008: So you tell your husband after every time, or just that once. It sounds like he was not giving an open invitation to the whole buffet, just to one dish.
You're taking advantage of your husband. You're putting sexual desire over your marriage, and ... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 10 October 2007: I tend to be shy about sex too, but you left yourself open, and I just had to take it.... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 8 October 2007: You should feel lucky. How many women have a husband who's mission is to give his wife an orgasm? You usually here of guys, the whole 2 minutes, if that, leaving their partner to wonder "what about me".
This has been strange. It's almost like we'... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 8 October 2007: Good luck at the Doc.... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 8 October 2007: Good luck at the Doc.... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 6 October 2007: I would still see what the possible cause of the pain is. For a period I had pain too, lower ab area, right before. Very dull throbbing pain.
I went to the hospital a couple of months ago because I thought I has having a heart attack, and my daug... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 5 October 2007: Is it the area that is being stimulated that is painful, or somewhere else, like as the body is preparing for the explosion?
With his mission do you think about what you want the outcome to be, or do you just relax and enjoy? Trying too hard can ... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 5 October 2007: Is it the area that is being stimulated that is painful, or somewhere else, like as the body is preparing for the explosion?
With his mission do you think about what you want the outcome to be, or do you just relax and enjoy? Trying too hard can ... (read in full...)
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