A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:i am 9 weeks pregnant and to be honest im really happy about it. unfortunately my boyfriend is not so happy. this isnt because he doesnt want it but the cost of trying to support our baby. we are both in our 20's do not have a stable home to live in, stable jobs so im guessing the abortion that i have booked will be going ahead. how can i possibly go through with something i dont want to??
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female
reader, whitefox +, writes (14 November 2009):
well honey if you are happy about the pregancy then like others say go with your heart i know i would and if your partner isnt happy about it he cant force you to have an abortion.ye he might have good reason that you dont have a stable home and you are struggling with finances but there are people who can help dont let your partner bully you into doing something you dont want to because you will regret it later in life.i know from experience when i was 17 i had to have an abortion against my will.please could you let me know how you get on i am a very caring person and i try to help anyone i can x
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 You face a though choice, but is YOUR choice, not his.
The finance issue is just cowardice, you live in the UK not the USA, your country like any civilized country has excellent programs for supporting young mothers. You won't be rich, but if you keep the baby society WILL support you. There are organisation who can help you find out what your options are.
Consult your family, your doctor, your social services and volunteer organisations. The salvation army is a bit biased against abortion BUT will be able to help in almost any situation if things turn desperate.
You do NOT have to face it alone.
Remember that an abortion is easy on your boyfriend. He isn't the one with a baby inside. To him it is just an inconvenience, out of sight, out of mind.
The first though choice is simple, by going against his wishes you may well loose him. But an abortion just to keep a guy who was ready for the fun, but not the responsibilty? Do you really want this? Remember, together you would still qualify for financial aid. You and your baby won't starve in england. yes, it will be financially inconvenient, but does that make it alright for him to ask you to abort?
Are you strong enough to face it alone? Even if you abort, he might not stick around. He doesn't sound like the most reliable sort of guy, sorry, but this is no time for soft words. Some guys even blame the women after an abortion for killing their baby.
Facing the fact that your partner might not be right for you is hard enough but with this pressure. You got it though BUT you are HAPPY with the baby?
Let me ask you this. If you had to raise the baby on your own, with financial aid enough to make for a minimum income to live on, would you be willing to face the trials of single motherhood?
Because if you feel it is possible, and countless other women have done it before you, then you cannot abort because you would be doing it for no other reason then to please your boyfriend and how happy would you be in a relationship with a guy who asked you to kill your baby for his pleasure?
Even if you are not ready to raise the baby alone, you can always put it up for adoption. There is a shortage, so there will be no problem finding a family who will take your baby and raise him/her well.
Frankly I think you already made up your mind to keep the baby but are afraid of your relationship. Not an easy choice to make but life ain't supposed to be easy. You owe this baby more of a reason then "sorry, my bf don't want to pay for you right now".
Talk to a social worker, you can get finacial aid and even goverment housing as a single mother.
But mostly look into your own heart, the answer is there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Hello,
i am also 9 weeks pregnant and this baby was also a shock to myself and husband as it wasnt what we wanted but from day one i knew i wanted to keep this baby. however my husband wasnt so sure. i decided to go with my gut feeling to keep this baby and now my husband is coming round to the idea after seeing our baby on the dating scan. Dont do anything you dont want to do as you may end up regretting it. Hope this helps and goodluck, with whatever you decide
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): to be honest my ex boyfriend is th father to my unborn child. he is trying to force me into having an abortian. I really don't want to. so all you need to do is follow your heart and do what you want. You are the baby's mother and you will be the one who will have to carry the baby for 9 months so it should be your desicion
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): If you know that having the abortion is not the right thing for you, then don't. I recently was in your situation, but I didn't reach out for support and I made the wrong choice. It is a BIG deal!! They don't tell what you need to know or how terrible it really is. I having trouble sleeping, I see children and cry, and soon I may be divorced. Don't let anyone tell you that the gift you have been given isn't gift. Remember that where there is a will, the is a way. Good Luck! You can do it!
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A
female
reader, Trinnity08 +, writes (28 January 2008):
 No you cant becuase you will regret it for the rest of your life think carfully before you make any decistions please dont just do as ur told because once its done there is no going back .take care xx trinnity
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (28 January 2008):
 here in the uk we get alot of help as a single mother. do not go through with this abortion you cannot be forced into it. it will scarr you for the rest of your life. please think about this, go to the doctor tell the situation and ask for advice on if the case scenario came that your boyfriend would leave you.
its not just about you two anymore theres another life involved...a life that can be saved x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I agree with a few of the other people here, put the child up for adoption. I can't guarantee the child will always be happy in someone else's home but no one's life is completely good or bad. I don't think the kid should have to die because of money problems.
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A
female
reader, KellyP  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 PLease dont do this. Im sorry to be so rough but this could be the biggest mistake of your life. Once you get your baby things may be hard but im pretty sure you would never regret having it when youll see it smile. On the other hand if you do this...just like the other persons said you could regret this your whole life and as the said your boyfriend cant decide for you he has to take is responasbility and acept your choice and just so you know your boyfriend may not always be there but your baby will always be so dont kill it even though its scary you have to do this thats the way it goes and i promise itll be fine There is so much people who are in the same situation of you and you can get help for sure. PLease dont kill it its a human being ok i dont want to get into that anti-abortion talkin sorry but for real thats the thing that can make you the more happy at the end of it all and you know what i almost envy you because its been 4 years that im with my bf and we always talk about babies and im so young to have one i have to finish my studies and everything now understand me I would never do that on purpose to get pregnant at my age i know this is not funny and this is not the way I want things to go but I always tell myself that if it happens because I take pills and everything And im pretty much ya did something too for this not to happen well if it happens anyway man that was meant to be this way and i cant lie sometimes I dream about this happening to me and I know I would find a way to work things out even if its not easy so please follow your heart before anything else and if at the end of it all you choose not to keep it i hope youll be happy with it but i also hope itll be your choice not your boyfriend's so good luck with that ... luv xxx
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Follow your heart. I agree with the other poster. I saw something as well where they assist people who have had children. I'm not going to judge you, but adoption does give your baby a chance to live, and be raised by a loving family. Once other main thing is that working with pain, and disabilities as long as I have, you'll personally have a much greater chance of developing long term emotional difficulties, such as post traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety etc. by having an abortion vs. adoption. I've counseled people who have had abortions, and the guilt is still just as present 20 years after the procedure.
As far as your boyfriend, it's your body, your decision. He may not be ready, but it took two to get you pregnant. If he was ready enough for the act, he needs to be ready for whatever your decision is. It may mean quickly taking a direction to find stability.
When my son was born, almost 18 years ago, I was 19. Both his mom and I didn't have stable incomes, we had a difficult time for about a year or two. Now his mom and I are both college graduates. It took longer than not having children for her, and I just completed at 36 years old. The point is, we worked, (separate homes) but developing stability. All though we had challenges, I've been blessed having him in my life over the last 18 years. We were in the same position you are in now, but we decided to take the hard road and raise a child, and have become much better people for making that choice.
I hope this helps you. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, nunununu +, writes (25 January 2008):
hi,Friend
It hurt to read your story.Please keep the baby,I am sure you will find out a way to survive,please don't get the abortion.Ask for help,please.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): i really hope you don't abort! that is something i think is wrong. their are other things like adoption. or like laura said about the gov. when i thought i was pregnent i was considering abortion but i could not do that because i couldn't take a life like that. i really hope you choose the right decision and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): well first of all dont go through something like this if you are not 100%, as th emotional scarring could be really difficult and affect you. i think you should talk to your parents and your boyf about this, after all, unplanned pregnancies happen every day to ppl who cant accomodate them. talk to your parents and explain that you are really happy and wanna start a family but you need help, and your boyf should understand, after financial difficulties can be resolved with help and determination.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 I read that there is a govt. scheme for financial help for single and pregnant woman in the UK. You could try it and save your baby. Or arrange with those organizations that handle adoptions in your country.
Or lastly , you could consult your parents over this matter.
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