A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok, i dont know where to start really.I am a 19 year old girl, perfect life at uni, perfect boyfriend.I should be so happy. I live with 4 lovley girls. However, i hate who i am. I know it sounds ridiculous. I know im quite a nice person but i dont have any 'banter'. I was friends with these girls last year, but since the summer, i dread going home to them cos i dont know what to talk about!!!!i just freeze up and my mind goes blank, its so weird!!!i know i cant be that bad, else my boyfriend wouldnt be with me, i just dont really know WHO iam. i never make funny jokes like evryone else.Im so selfish sometimes too, i never text my mum or family unless i really think about it.Im very insecure within my relationship and get jealous very easily. i feel like i always have to look the nicest out of evryone.can u help please?lovex x x x x x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (21 January 2008):
 You're normal. The way you're feeling is not strange. You just need to spend some time re-defining yourself, and who you are, not being like everyone else. What do you want to do? What direction do you want to take? What career do you want? What are your interests that you can spend more time doing?
When I was 19, I didn't know what direction I wanted to take either. At that age, I listened to real loud music and drank a lot of alcohol. I was always looking forward to where the next party was going to be. Other than that, I had no clue.
I don't party anymore. I'm a single parent. I work in law, and donate spare time to helping others. It may not be too much of a glamorous life, but it's a direction that created happiness. You're direction will come. It takes some time, but you'll figure it out.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Hi
You need to stop feeling this insecure! you are your own person unique and wonderfully made. let me tell u something those people you want to be like they also wish they can be just like you crazy isnt it? so stop torturing yourself and focus on doing things that makes happy, I understand why you cant text your mom and also have nothing to say to your friends its because of the way you feel about yourself, you can not learn to apreciate someone if you dont love yourself. love yourself first then you will see your relationship changing towards others as well. its like that.
Jovial
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