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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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My ex wanted me back but wont give up her new guy. I feel like I'm being manipulated, what should I do?
Q. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. It was mostly because I wasn't attentive enough. She started seeing someone else. I stayed away from her. I didn't call her at all. She called me after a month and told me she missed me. She told me she thinks ...
A. 31 January 2008: Sorry it happened that way. Remember relationships are not mental game playing activities. You'll find happiness, and when you do, I bet this relationship won't even compare.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I made out with his best friend?
Q. okay me and my boyfriend have not been dating very long..and i now like his best friend..and he likes me and...well...at my boyfriends basketball game i kinda made out with his friend..and i now know that i dont like him and i really really like my ...
A. 31 January 2008: I'd tell your boyfriend, because it's the right thing to do. You can't be boyfriend and girlfriend if you can't learn to be honest. It wouldn't be right to do so.... (read in full...)
He abuses me emotionally, But I can't leave him!
Q. Please help me. I'm desperate. I am so in love with my bf, I mean I have never been in love like I am now, but things have happened, I should leave him. Things have turned so nasty between us, but I am so in love, I can't actually tell the diff...
A. 31 January 2008: OK, I feel a bit out numbered. I'm the only male so far that has given two cents on this one. You do understand the difference from right and wrong. If you didn't you wouldn't have come on here with this question. I'm going to tell you, you are not ... (read in full...)
I'll be devastated if I lose her. What can I do?
Q. My wife of 3.5 years has just left after a fight and said she needed some time and space. I have been fighting depression for some few years now and did not know it until last week when I saw a psychiatrist. I have been verbally abusive to her and ...
A. 31 January 2008: First of all, she is your best friend? If so, you wouldn't want to see her in any pain, you'd want to emotionally support her and build her up. Make her feel special, and desired.
I did have to double check something. Now depression it itsself does... (read in full...)
Am I right in thinking my husband might be having an affair with a co-worker?
Q. My husband has been a bit distant from me and he's been more into his job lately. I have this gut feeling that is starting some relationship with a female co-worker of his since he used to just call on a break to say hi and that has stopped and says ...
A. 31 January 2008: Do you know why we have these gut feelings? It's a form of warning signs, same as when people develop red flags. The gut is generally not wrong. These feelings are produces when our brain picks up on changes that are abnormal compared to our usual ... (read in full...)
A love triangle, how can I get my ex to forgive my betrayal?
Q. I have a complicated problem that I need some help with. me and girl #1 dated when I was in college and she broke my heart and ended up having a child. after this, I fell in love with girl #2,we dated for a year and a half and she broke my heart as ...
A. 31 January 2008: Well when with #1, you should have told #2, I miss you, but I have someone and am happy. If you read enough of the questions that get posted on here, you'll find out how many times being dishonest can really come back and haunt someone. I know ... (read in full...)
Why won't he stop texting other women?
Q. Like other posts I have read on here, my fiance and father of my two year old has been texting other women for quite a while. There have been occasions where he has gone out at night and ignored my texts for hours, saying he didn't text me back cos ...
A. 31 January 2008: Your right, he is disrespecting you. When he says he swears on everyone's life, I'd take a step aside and say "whoo, I thought I might get struck by lighning."
There are many forms of cheating. It doesn't have to be sex. Keeping inappropriate conv... (read in full...)
My ex wanted me back but wont give up her new guy. I feel like I'm being manipulated, what should I do?
Q. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. It was mostly because I wasn't attentive enough. She started seeing someone else. I stayed away from her. I didn't call her at all. She called me after a month and told me she missed me. She told me she thinks ...
A. 31 January 2008: It's time to pack this one up. She's playing you, because she knows she can. I wrote a song not long ago, the end of the corus is "I wasn't good enough for you then, I sure and the hell aint now." Sometimes all though you want to be with them and ... (read in full...)
On facebook I said another girl is more attractive than my girlfriend, now she's dumped me, how can I get her to forgive me?
Q. Hi, i need a lot of help... About 9 months ago something happened on facebook between me and one of my friends. He told me this one girl was hotter than my girlfriend and i replied yes. It had not occured to me that it would lead me to this ...
A. 31 January 2008: This is one that is very difficult. Aparently you really hurt her badly. First of all, stop telling her she's beautiful. That's like beating your head against a brick wall at this point. You have to meet her at an emotional level.
Personally I woul... (read in full...)
My mother married at 19, but says I'm too young to move in with my boyfriend, what gives?
Q. My grandma(my mothers mom) was married at 16 and had my mom when she was 17. And they had a great life. My mom never thought her mother was too young. My mother is also always telling me about how she started dating my father when she was 19 and ...
A. 31 January 2008: She's just worried about her kids. It may have been the best decision for her, longterm, but I'm sure it was hard. As you grow older you understand areas of life that may have been a bit less difficult by taking more time to make decisions and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a high sex drive, its driving me crazy, is there something wrong with her?
Q. this is a question mostly for the ladies- how high is your sex drive? I am asking because I am with a girl who is just about insatiable, we've been going out for three years and she's ALWAYS after sex. All the time! In the beginning we had it two o...
A. 31 January 2008: Tell her she doesn't need to rush now. There's pleanty of time. She should save some energy for when there's nothing left to do but sit around and visit grandkids.... (read in full...)
I'm with a new guy but just found out I'm pregnant by my ex, please help me decide what to do!
Q. I am currently seeing a wonderful man who has a son from a previous relationship. I absolutely love his son and can really see this relationship working out. The problem is I recently discovered that I am pregnant with an ex's child. Apparently he ...
A. 31 January 2008: I understand sometimes we're faced with challenges. My first child was born when I was 19. That was difficult, and for a period after, it was still difficult. He's still given me more blessings than the difficult areas I faced.
Weigh out all your... (read in full...)
My son is punished everytime my husband drinks.
Q. my husband is the greatest guy in the world until he starts drinking, he loves my son from a previous marraige, but when he drinks it seems like my son is the worst kid in the world and I am the worst mother. I was going to leave him a couple of ...
A. 30 January 2008: Your son is only 10 years young. Not able to fully understand what abuse can do to a person over a long period of time. You're the parent, and as the parent, it's your duty to protect your child both physically and mentally. You can tell that by ... (read in full...)
Concerned about people who sleep with those who they know are mairried.
Q. Why is it that advice given to a mistress is way off it seems that people do not want to hurt these people's feelings. Well as for my husband's affair there was no feelings pure anal sex is what she promised online and that turned out to be a ...
A. 30 January 2008: you're right, we live in a society with the "greedy" belief, take if available. It comes down to making choices, thinking of the choices we make and the consequenses of making those choices.
I lead a non-dramatic life. I believe myself to be some... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't contribute much to marriage.
Q. Who's responsible for doing what? I am having a very hard time understanding what is suppose to go on in my marrage. I am married almost four years and I get frustrated because I feel my wife does not contribute enough to this marrage. On the ...
A. 30 January 2008: Reading the posts it proves, we get married for the differences not because our spouse is like us. One of my instructors I had in school cleans his home and cooks the meals. He works much less than his wife, and earns much less also. He also has a ... (read in full...)
His ex wife does not leave us alone (harassing me, including at work, making my bf feel insecure etc.) What can we do?
Q. Hi I have been dating a wonderful man since September of last year and things have been progressing really well until his ex wife met me. Instantly she chose to take him to family court and refused to let him see his kids. She is now trying to stop ...
A. 30 January 2008: That's definately a possability. Good luck in court tomorrow. Part of me, of course, feels sory for his ex. I know it's hard to deal with these behaviors, but could you imagine living with so much internal pain, the only way to deal with it is to ... (read in full...)
His ex wife does not leave us alone (harassing me, including at work, making my bf feel insecure etc.) What can we do?
Q. Hi I have been dating a wonderful man since September of last year and things have been progressing really well until his ex wife met me. Instantly she chose to take him to family court and refused to let him see his kids. She is now trying to stop ...
A. 30 January 2008: First I want to tell you the number one things you need to do without fail in this matter. Keep a journal. Every phone call, her faking an attorney, any behavrior that is mallicious, out of the ordinary, etc. needs to be documented. Having witnesses ... (read in full...)
The other guy wants me to choose. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating a guy (Guy A) for about 8 months and I do think I love him. About 4 months ago I met someone else (Guy B). He is very good to me and I do enjoy spending time with him but feel guilty doing so. Guy A says he is not in a "hurry" ...
A. 30 January 2008: You need some single time by yourself to pull yourself together. You need to find out more about yourself and really reflect on why it is not a good idea to date 2 guys at the same time. Relationships are not competition. I know it's an ego boost, ... (read in full...)
How can we get his ex to leave us alone?
Q. I've known my boyfriend 12 years then we got together. I have a fear of losing my boyfriend because his ex (who was with for 4 years) messed with and is still messing with his head. She’s crazy, she stalks him and talks to friends and family about ...
A. 30 January 2008: First of all, having a child. Her behavior is not appropriate for raising a child. Your boyfriend may have a chance to obtain custody. Actually a better than average chance. I sounds as if she may be borderline personality.
The problem is the abno... (read in full...)
Looking for men who have been cheated on but worked it out????
Q. Is there any male out there who was cheated on, but managed to work out your relationship? I'd love to talk to you about what happened....
A. 30 January 2008: I don't know too many people who haven't been cheated on at one time or another. ... (read in full...)
What should be the right choice to make here?
Q. This is a very awkward situation .I hope I can explain it as close as possible,and someone might be able to relate to this or give an advice. So its a long and troublesome marriage ,was real love i guess, but today, its an other story.. So the pr...
A. 29 January 2008: So, is what you're saying is "I am willing to live like this?" You haven't just given up on your marriage, your children, but you have given up on yourself. Think about how powerful you really are as a person. You were powerful enough to lose your ... (read in full...)
Boy in class sexually harassing me.
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl, and i need some advice. This boy in my class has been sexually harrassing me again after he was suspended. he touched my bum. but the thing that scared me was when he zipped down my zipper. what do u think that he was trying ...
A. 29 January 2008: He was suspended before? This time you need to notify the police. It seems as if a school suspension didn't teach him anything. ... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable when he touches me.
Q. This may sound odd, but I've had an interest in my accounting teacher for awhile now. He has always seemed nice to me, but only recently has it seemed like he's been intereted in me, which worries me. He asks me to stay after school to help correct ...
A. 29 January 2008: You'll need to put an end to it. If I were you, thinking of my own daughters, I'd be notifying a school counselor or someone there you get along with. Who knows if you were the first person he's crossed the boundaries with.
He needs to not be teac... (read in full...)
I bring it up and she argues, Now what?
Q. I've been with my g/f for about 3 years now. Everything was great until about a year ago. Now, unless I initiate the sex there is nothing. But the lack of sex isnt really my issue. Its that she just really shows no kind of interest in me or sex. We ...
A. 29 January 2008: Being a man, I hope you don't mind me commenting. What sort of issues did she have in the past relationship. Was it the detachment as she's having with you?
Does she have any history or sexually based assaults in her past? This could range from... (read in full...)
Two weeks later having my period.
Q. I'm over 2 weeks late with my period and i just had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated inside of me 3 times, what are my chances of being pregnant?...
A. 29 January 2008: If it was during ovulation, a fairly good chance. Get a pregnancy test, that's the only way to know for sure this early. Take care.... (read in full...)
Cheated before, I have the right to know if she has after we got married
Q. My wife is an oral sex freak, by that I mean going down on guys. Before we were engaged she told me she blew about 12-15 guys and wasn't sure of the exact amount because lots of guys she did lots of times. I overlooked this because her reas...
A. 29 January 2008: I think you should tell her what you know. I don't think you should attempt to forbid the friendship, because that would be controlling behavior, but I think you should express your concern in how you feel about your wife associating with this ... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted his child!
Q. If you had a friend that you had known for a couple of years and then you found out that some time ago they had been in the paper for assaulting their child who was 3 at the time, would you then see that friend in a different light and would it make ...
A. 29 January 2008: It would make me wonder. I wouldn't pry into it with them, with my children I probably wouldn't expose them to him. I guess it would depend too on if he was convicted or falsy accused. We just had someone here released from prison and had first ... (read in full...)
I got so drunk and did something real stupid! Help
Q. i am so overwhelmed with embarrassment right now. in my local bar i pulled a guy into the packed bathroom and tried to get him into the cubical.. i was so so so so so so so drunk and its completely out of charecter but it has really effected my ...
A. 29 January 2008: Are you always this horney, or just when you're drunk? I don't know, under heavy alcohol, too many people who are themselves when drunk. I really wouldn't worry about it. If someone brings it up, just laugh with them, let them know "I'm not drinking ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is in tatters due to his affair. How can We move on!?
Q. Hi people, My husband had an affair last year. We have made enourmous progress in trying to get back on track, but it is tough. Through the recovery process, our sex life obviously has come into discussion and debate. Our sex life pri...
A. 29 January 2008: First of all cheating is an act. Unfortunately it's an act that affects other people and causes harm. It sounds as if he's appologized over and over again for his actions. From your end, that just isn't good enough. Why? You're in pain, and as long ... (read in full...)
Career advice needed
Q. hello,friends. i need help about my career,i m from india now i m 23 years old qualificaton 8th class only, beuse of my family problems, i cant able to stady , now i m faceing lot's of problem in life , i m trying for job but i didnt get and la...
A. 28 January 2008: When dealing with companies on line, make sure you research who you'll be working with. For being in India, I don't know if there are manufacture sales companies there. One area that does well is having a website, set up an account with wholesale ... (read in full...)
I cheat on him to get back at him and because I am lonely! Help
Q. God I am so stupid, well I know what everyone is going to think when they see this, "what a whore". Well here it goes... Iv been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and Im only 21. We love eachother and we have had a lot of problems but we have always ...
A. 28 January 2008: You need to tell him that you are. I don't think you're stupid or a whore. I think your decision making needs some work. You can get back at people, but all you do is take a problem and add a problem on top. Revenge isn't a good solution to ... (read in full...)
We fell in love 5 months ago, now he wants to end it, why?
Q. hi i met a wonderful man 5 months ago and the way we met we both believed it was fate. we clicked straight awy and fell in love he was always making me feel spcial telling me how much he loved me that i was the best ting to ever happen to him. we ...
A. 28 January 2008: Does part of this quick interaction with him include sex? The problem with rushing in to quickly, even if it seems like fate is weeding out truth from "I'll say I love you until I get what I want."
Sory this happened to you. This part of you that... (read in full...)
How can I prove to her that I won't pressure her for sex like her ex?
Q. Well theres a girl that i think im starting to fall for. Well she a few weeks ago got out of a relationship because he kept pressuring her to have sex and thats all he talked about all the time. and she has been hitting on me. Asking a lot of ...
A. 28 January 2008: I'm not saying just come out and blurt that your a virgin, but if opportunity comes up to weave it into the conversation, it would be a good idea. The reason for that is honest is a huge key to having a good relationship. Letting her know is not ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is in tatters due to his affair. How can We move on!?
Q. Hi people, My husband had an affair last year. We have made enourmous progress in trying to get back on track, but it is tough. Through the recovery process, our sex life obviously has come into discussion and debate. Our sex life pri...
A. 28 January 2008: I sure hope you feel better. You can type and go off about your feelings, when you really need to sit him down and reapeat what you told us to him. Forgiving him is not forgetting. He may not even deserve the forgiveness, but you'd be doing it for ... (read in full...)
I do stupid things, don't want to loose him
Q. So me an my boyfirend been togather for 4 monthes now we moved in togather like rigth away an it was ture love at first sigth every one said i was crazy my firends was like you don't even know this guy an i'm always the one to think things out but ...
A. 28 January 2008: First I'd like to say I feel for you and your situation. It must be hard growing up the way you did. You must be confused, maybe angry, and not having real positive views.
For your situation, this is normal behavior. It's seen quite often in foste... (read in full...)
How can I prove to her that I won't pressure her for sex like her ex?
Q. Well theres a girl that i think im starting to fall for. Well she a few weeks ago got out of a relationship because he kept pressuring her to have sex and thats all he talked about all the time. and she has been hitting on me. Asking a lot of ...
A. 28 January 2008: I think it's a good idea to tell your fear. It shows your honesty. But as far as your question, actions. The only way to prove it is to not pressure her. ... (read in full...)
I hate cheating, but why do I do it?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years, WHY when I'm drunk to I exit reality and hook up with someone.. ALWAYS. I know its wrong too... Self control sucks. Like I just lose it, and I'm tired or it. I'm not partying anymore, I love my boyfriend, can ...
A. 28 January 2008: The first step is to be honest with yourself in knowing this is a real problem. The hard part is you have to be honest with your boyfriend and let him know about your problem.
Just from reading your statement, and not knowing you, it sounds like... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's past involved threesomes, 2x rape, or was this just 2 big mistakes? What am I to believe?
Q. Hello there!! I have this little problem with my girlfriend. Only recently after her many lies she told me that she had two times on two different ocassions sex with 2 guys. But it gets much more complicated than this. The first time it happened...
A. 28 January 2008: It does help her to not feel revictimized. This happened before you got together. When she's, more than likely, felt guilt for this time and time again, why do you feel it's in your place to continue her being haunted by this event. How do you feel ... (read in full...)
My old friend has a wife and child now, but I love him from 10 years ago and want him back now
Q. I have been friends with this man since we were 15yrs old we are both now almost 40. I always knew he was attracted to me, i was also but was always involved with someone else and he was so painfully shy he never tried or said anything. The day ...
A. 28 January 2008: It was difficult. When loving her, I chose her best interest over my personal desires. Doing that was very hard, but who said doing what's right is always easy.... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't contribute much to marriage.
Q. Who's responsible for doing what? I am having a very hard time understanding what is suppose to go on in my marrage. I am married almost four years and I get frustrated because I feel my wife does not contribute enough to this marrage. On the ...
A. 28 January 2008: You two need to sit down together and make a plan that both of you will get some of what you want. You're both nitpicking, and need to stop doing that. There's more important things that need to take place in a marriage without the extra drama. ... (read in full...)
My old friend has a wife and child now, but I love him from 10 years ago and want him back now
Q. I have been friends with this man since we were 15yrs old we are both now almost 40. I always knew he was attracted to me, i was also but was always involved with someone else and he was so painfully shy he never tried or said anything. The day ...
A. 28 January 2008: We were friends, then a relationship, then back to being friends. She lives half way accross the U.S. but we still chat. With her, my love had to be of an unselfish nature. She's happy, and I'm happy that she is. ... (read in full...)
My old friend has a wife and child now, but I love him from 10 years ago and want him back now
Q. I have been friends with this man since we were 15yrs old we are both now almost 40. I always knew he was attracted to me, i was also but was always involved with someone else and he was so painfully shy he never tried or said anything. The day ...
A. 28 January 2008: You're welcome. I had to do the same thing once years ago, and had to let her go. It was hard. But I did it because I do love her, and her happiness meant more to me than being with her myself.
Take care.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's past involved threesomes, 2x rape, or was this just 2 big mistakes? What am I to believe?
Q. Hello there!! I have this little problem with my girlfriend. Only recently after her many lies she told me that she had two times on two different ocassions sex with 2 guys. But it gets much more complicated than this. The first time it happened...
A. 28 January 2008: I would have to say it was just 2 big mistakes. You're right about this may happen once, but twice. Thinking two separate people would joke about it. That's not very likely.
The problem here is why are you viewing her past like you are. What real... (read in full...)
Our sex life is in tatters due to his affair. How can We move on!?
Q. Hi people, My husband had an affair last year. We have made enourmous progress in trying to get back on track, but it is tough. Through the recovery process, our sex life obviously has come into discussion and debate. Our sex life pri...
A. 28 January 2008: You keep saying that he needs to open up and talk about what had happened. Why is that? When someone cheats, usually the other person doesn't want the details of it. You say you're the one who threw up, showered and slept on the couch. The issue ... (read in full...)
My old friend has a wife and child now, but I love him from 10 years ago and want him back now
Q. I have been friends with this man since we were 15yrs old we are both now almost 40. I always knew he was attracted to me, i was also but was always involved with someone else and he was so painfully shy he never tried or said anything. The day ...
A. 28 January 2008: Divorce is extremely painful. I know cheating is not the right thing to do. Trying to pry in between a husband and wife is not right also. There's more at stake than just a marriage, their is a child there. That child needs both mom and dad to act ... (read in full...)
Concerned about people who sleep with those who they know are mairried.
Q. Why is it that advice given to a mistress is way off it seems that people do not want to hurt these people's feelings. Well as for my husband's affair there was no feelings pure anal sex is what she promised online and that turned out to be a ...
A. 24 January 2008: The same shall be given to the men who choose to sleep with someone while they are married. A marriage is suppose to be based off love, respect, caring for the others feelings, not knowingly take part in activities they know will hurt the person the ... (read in full...)
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