A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm writing this on behalf of my sister. She got married(by a proposal) last week and after her honeymoon of 7days, she was complaining about her newly married husband's sexual attitude. We are in Sri Lanka and since it's an asian country, most of the girls and boys have no sexul experience before they get married. i will list you below for your easy understanding of the problem. 1. even though his penis gets strong, he is scared to go inside and he wanted her to do it by hand. 2. afterwords he did not approach her for sex during the honeymoon. 3. he is so loving and caring to my sister but her sexual desires are not met. 4. he used to discuss every thing with her and he is very worried that he could not satisfy his wife. however, my sister is still a virgin after the honeymoon and I need your advice to help them to overcome the above problem. Appreciate if you could send me some related training materials for them to read and understand. Regards, Cham.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): The first response is probably good advice - get her to take charge and if that works his confidence might come back.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (22 January 2008):
 you need to address #4. If he's expressing a fear of not being able to perform, that needs to be addressed. He might be afraid of not being able to please her. Some people it's easier not to try, instead of trying and failing. He also needs to realize that sex after marriage, it's not just about the act itsself it's about the caring and loving and the closeness between the two.
That's what I'd look at. Why is he afraid? What's causing this fear? Is he someone who's use to success, or use to trying and failing, and looking at himself as a failure all ready.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (22 January 2008):
 She si going to have to something to make him come out of his shell and depending on how much of an invert he is on these sort of matter it could be relativley easy or very hard. For example until last year i was kinf of afraid to confront a girl and it took a girl who liked me to confront me and hurt me to make me come out of my shell.
She should try having him be on bottom and taking over for him and once he is used to it and more comfortable with the idea he will begin to probably do what she wants without much reluctancie. A lot of guys with no experience including me are afraid of the first time even more so then some females which is odd considering it doesnt hurt us. Im not terrifried but im not thrilled either about my first time. If this doesnt work she may have to get him to do that on his own some other way, i could reccomend if he is clueless about the procces and innerworkings as some guys are even later in life, this can make fear even worse. Just do some research for him and make him understand what happens more. After all we fear what we dont understand.
It could be he also may be afraid that he will hurt her, and thats because her cares, and if he is afraid tell him its more discomfort then pain and its normal and you shouldnt make that stop you from doing it but make sure he doesnt go all gung ho because if he does that it could make her first time very very uncomfortable from what i hear.
Good luck!
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