A
female
age
36-40,
*aria14r
writes:ok i have a problem. i've been with this man for about 4 years but last year fot the whole year he was in jail. he missed out on the best part which is our son. now that he's out he tries to have me home all day everyday and i have to do what he says cuz if i dont he gets mad. i cant stand that because i took care of myself and my son for that year and i continue on doing it. he dont work or do anythin. when he got out he tried to start yelling and spanking my son but i told him that he has no right i dont care who he is. i want to leave him but he always ends up making me feel bad n i end up getting back with him. i dont know what to do to end it for good. my feelings for him changed thru out that year. i loved being alone now everyone tells me that i dont seem happy cuz i'm not. what should i do? how should i end it without hurting his feelings and without him being mad? please help me. i want someone who is actually going to pay for my movies and my dinner. i dont want to pay for someone anymore. except my son.
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female
reader, lynnb84  +, writes (24 January 2008):
GET OUT NOW. You cannot stay with this man. You must take your child and get as far away from him as possible. The abuse will only get worse. He'll start hitting you, and you and your son cud both end up dead. Please leave.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (24 January 2008):
 You do not have to do what he says. Who is to say that anyone has the right over another person in telling them what to do and what not too. You have a son and he is your number one priority. It's your duty to take care of him, even if it means living alone. Your boyfriend's anger, agression and telling you what to do with this controlling behavior is not at all a good environment for your child to be living in.
You know it's time to end this. Don't wait until his behavior escallates. He may try to make you feel bad, but protecting yourself and your son, you don't have anything to feel bad about when leaving. If you stay, then you will have something to feel bad about, as your son begins developing negative behaviors immitaing his dad.
I also think, with his behavior, that a police standby would be important for when you move your things out. And when you do, think positive about it, because there is absolutely no love produced from abuse and controlling behavior.
Take care.
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