A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really dislike my husband's cat! She's 11 yrs. old, she has long hair that falls out in clumps, I have found little clumps of hair that have feces in it, all over the house..I am 6 months pregnant and I have an 8 month old and I do not want this gross cat around them. I can just imagine them crawling and putting her hair chunks or God forbid, feces hair chunks in their mouths. I can't change her litter b/c I am pregnant, and my husband only does so once a week, so you can imagine the stench coming from it. Also, if I could, I wouldn't because I don't even want her..He had her long before he met me, She's very anti-social and usually will hide from everyone. At night, she moans and whines and it wakes me up, every single night, at least 3-4 times..She's not in heat and has food and water so I don't know what her problem is. She has bitten him in the face before, and when I 1st moved in, she would come up to me, I'd pet her, then she'd bite me. I guess this is where most of my dislike for her stems. My friend came over with her 2 y/o and the 2 y/o tried picking her up, and she bit her in the face. I just don't think it's safe to have her around babies and small kids, or sanitary. My husband tells me to get rid of her, but I know if I did, his mom and sisters would hate me b/c they're all "cat ppl." yet no one wants this cat..I also don't want him resenting me for it, but we fight over it a lot, for ex. I just went in the basement to do laundry, and there was a big cat turd just sitting on the carpeting, a few feet from her litter box. I don't want to deal with it anymore. The stench, the uncleanliness, not to mention the cost of feeding her and for litter when we have struggled to pay our mortgage at times. My husband doesn't even spend time with this cat at all. I feed her and give her water every day. He only pets her I'd say once a week. The only reason he still has her is because he feels a sense of responsibility to her from having her for so long, but he doesn't enjoy having her at all. What should I do?
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female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 ok so you have here the people who no nothing about animals telling you to get rid, then you have the animal enthsiasts telling you your cruel, then you have those of us who own and love cats, but also have children so we see both sides.
if the cat is truely nasty and regularly attacks people you have a problem and need to find a solution. the loose stools and fur falling out etc, is a red light. you need to get that cat to the vets, he will give you all the solutions you need. and please, make sure your husband pays the vet bills.
see my other answer below for info on food etc.
issy xx
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 I love cats, but I think you should be very careful about handling this cat while pregnant. The cat's faeces could carry toxoplasmosis which, if you would get infected, might risk affecting the foetus. If you have to handle the cat's litter at all, do use gloves when emptying it. Did you talk to your doctor or midwife about it? They might help you get the facts you need when talking to your husband about this.
My advice would be to ask your husband's mother or sister to take care of the cat for the few last years it has left. Or better, ask your husband to ask them. If they can't for some reason, maybe they can help you find some other solution. It is true cats don't like to relocate, but she could still have a better and calmer life as an old cat in a house where there are no children around, where those "cat ppl" will have the time to take good care of old her. And you will feel better knowing you don't have to worry about your children's safety and still knowing the cat is having a good home elsewhere.
And whatever decision you are making, don't worry about what his mother and sister might say, if they don't help you out with this they are not so cat-loving after all. It is your home and your life, and you and your husband have the right to take any decisions you want about this cat.
Best wishes, tell us how it goes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): I'd also like to add aunts, that you cant say cats are this, cats are that because obviously she is saying hers isn't.
Yes cats are wonderful pets, but once they start having problems, they are much harder to fix than dogs because of their nature.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): Speaking as a mother, a previous veterinary nurse and now being an animal behaviour consultant I would say:
Cats are temperamental creatures and 11 years old is quite an age for a cat although some live 16 - 18 years, with age comes aggitation (as with any animal) and regardless of how long the cat has been around, her behaviour is unacceptable and your main concern is your child. That is your priority, not the cat. You need not worry about what family members say if you get rid of her as you have that to fall back on. If they are so concerned, then they can take her on, if not be sure to find her a good home.
If you are really unable to give the cat to a home that will love her and pay her the attention that she needs, then perhaps you can confine her just to certain parts of the house. It is unsanitary to have hair and poo everywhere, especially once the child is crawling. Also the fact that she has attacked before, gives you good reason to not want her around your baby.I have a 8 month old baby and a 2 years old, we also have a cat and a dog - you would hardly know they are here, they have access to food, water and their beds, the garden and the rear rooms of the house. They are happy and get all the attention they need.
Normally I would not advise rehoming a cat at such an age, however the baby being around is going to be more unsettling for her and it is probable that her behaviour will get worse. I agree that pets should be for life - but that is something to think about when you first take them on and we must assess each case individually. If you feel that the safety of your child is compromised - the cat has to go.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): Opinions: "It is rare that a cat would bite anyone in the face most of all it's owner " , "Cats are not hurtful creature", "Cats are for life", "cats dont attack humans"......FACTS: "My friend came over with her 2 y/o and the 2 y/o tried picking her up, and she bit her in the face" , "But oneday, I wasn't paying attention and she bit my young 10 mth old on the face." Goodness, people! excellent you can alloww yourselves to be subjective with other people.s problems that can affect their lives for good.no more to add
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 I have had three cats and currently have a dog.
The biggest issue here is that the lady is pregnant and her husband is not taking care of HIS cat. Try to remember, she is not emotionally tied to this pet, and as a woman, she is NOT elected emotional keeper of all things. She should NOT be taking care of it or living in a dirty house because there are very REAL health risks when a pregnancy is involved. She should not be touching the cat or touching his litter or messes and should not be grooming the cat because of toxoplasmosis, a very real health threat to pregnant women and fetuses.
Take the cat and the husband to the vet, get HIM proper instructions. HIRE A HOUSEKEEPER, give the place one good thorough clean sweep, for her safety and peace of mind. Take the husband to her obstetrician, and give him proper instructions in the care of a pregnant spouse.
Try to put it into perspective, the spouse and future child take precedence over a cat. Always have, always will.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (15 December 2007):
 rhythmandblues2 that was a nice response, and the photo is very suitable
As a cat owner of over 16 years, one passing away recently. I know a little about cat care.
Cats are one of the most clean animals there is, if they are not lying there, eating or pooing they are cleaning themselves, and a cat of 11 years of age should be an expert at this. Hair falling out shows that he is not being groomed properly, i have to brush my long haired cat often or his hair gets in knots and is painful for him, so i brush it reguraly.
I always have had cats that can go out doors and go toilet, but when they were little we had litter boxes. We changed them at least every 4/5 day or whenever it gets full and too smelly. If humans cant stand it, imagine how they feel.
Cats are not hurtful creature and house cats dont attack humans unless threatened, and they are more scared of babies than they are of adults, and are very warm towards babies. Plus its true cats dont really bite, its not how they attack, they use their paws.
big clumpy poo shows a bad diet and maybe you need to get some better food for them, IAMs is great for older animals and is not too expensive.
Ctas are not something that once they become problems you can ditch. They have feelings and should not be discarded as it hurts them as much as it would us. And putting an 11 year old cat in a home means it will be there forever, as no one will get a 11 year old cat.
As for your husband spending time with the cat, cats are solitary creatures, but are still around and just because we dont spend as much times as we would with dogs doesnt mean they wont be missed.
Cats are for life and yes he does have a responsibilty to care for the cat legal and moral.
Read up on cat care and then it will become a more enjoyable experience.
Cats are clean, friendly and good pets, in my opinion if properly cared for safe around babies
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): Ok, now you are going to hear from the cat.
First off my hair should not be falling out in clumps, and my feces should not be stuck in it...I have long hair and no one that I live with will brush it daily to keep it mat free and clean....I wish they had the good sense to take me to the groomers for a bath and a hair cut to get rid of my matted hair.
As a cat I am actually very clean, I bathe myself daily, I despise dirty litter boxes that are only cleaned weekly, I tend to pee or poop elsewhere in the house if my box is too smelly even for me...I like that clumping litter that you scoop the urine and stuff out of daily, I like the entire litter changed out once every two weeks at minimum, and my actual box washed out with something containing amonia and left to air dry with clean litter in it,,,,if you can smell the box, imagine how turned off I am as my nose is much more sensitive than yours.
It is rare that a cat would bite anyone in the face most of all it's owner, I think you may be exaggerating here.as I would not bite a baby in the face or a man, I would rather spit and swipe my paw and run away if I could..and if I did bite it is because I am in pain....I am 11 years old, I need a senior blood work up at the vet and I may suffer from arthritis, there are things you can do to make me feel more comfortable....ask the vet.
I was adopted as a cute little kitten, now that I am an old cat I think you owe it to me to see me through to the end of my life, it is difficult to re-home an old cat, most people don't want it if they know they will lose it in a couple of short years.
As to my diet, I need to be on a quality dry food for senior cats, Purina One sold at the local grocery is a good choice, IAMS sold at PetsMart and various stores is a better one....these foods will make my stool smaller and drier and less sticky to my fur, and you will have less to clean from my litter. If I have bad teeth, they need to be pulled by the vet, and I will need wet cat food for senior cats....
As to your babys, I will be curious, I may go lay on their blankie if left on the floor, but when I see those little legs pumping to be near me, I am gonna hide!...I am rather afraid of miniature humans that don't stand erect like my owners.
Funny thing is, I am being blamed for my owner's lack of care of me, how twisted is that, I can't clean my own litter box, I don't choose my own food, and I cannot remove matts and clumps from my fur, I depend on you to take care of all of that for me and in return I give you a purr now and then and I try not to eat your flowers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): When your babies' will have been in contact with the animal's dirtiness or aggresivity there may be no turning back, in an unfortunate case! Why do you put relatives ABOVE your childrens' safety? Have you thought babies have a most vulnerable immunitary system and even your unborn child can suffer from this distressing situation as the tension you accumulate is harmful and may very well reflect onto a temperamental, irritable behaviour, among other drawbacks, later? Instead of your friend, it could have been your baby who was hurt. At a second read of your post I see your husband told you to get rid of the cat, but you are afraid his relatives will resent you as they are "cat lovers." Goodness gracious. You don't want to live IN [remorsefulness] for acute neglection if any of the children survives with a scarred face or any respiratory disorder, HEAVEN FORBID!... Your husband should not be so passive about this situation. You have two options: either release the cat, either release the cat. If you're so worried about this precious family "inheritance" simply put an [advert] and place it into somebody else's care until it finds a permanent owner, or take it to an authorised institution for animals without owners if you REALLY want to do this the correct way. And please do it for your childrens' sake NOW.
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female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (14 December 2007):
Ok, first she is 11 years old, she doesnt have long left in this world.
Second, has she been spayed? a lot of female cats get really cranky as they get older if they have been spayed, something to do with hormones.
If you are finding clumps of hair with feces in it, I would assume she is fairy ill, or that her diet is wrong for her, so I suggest getting her down the vets for some checks on that front.
Meanwhile change her diet to science diet or mill, or even go cat, as long as its dry food not wet or tinned.
One handful morning and one handful night time is more than enough, even with tinned food she shouldnt have more than one tin for a whole day. So I dont really understand where the 'cost of feeding her' comes in. you can get 6 tins of tiger from asda for £2.80 ish, or a box of go-cat which should last about a week, for around a quid. Obviously you will have different stores over there, but Im sure you will have your own variations of stores own cat food, or dry cat food, and thay are not that expansive.
If she is getting expensive food, then maybe that is where the cranky-ness and the messy-ness is comming from, as it is probably too rich for her.
definatly change her to a dried food. No table scraps or treats either.
As to cleaning out her litter tray, wear gloves.
Personally I prefer dogs, but My husband is a cat fanatic. I have had four children and though we do have one unfriendly cat, they have all survived without getting any disease or serious injuries. cats tend to stay away from babies, just make sure you never leave them alone together and the cat has no access to your childrens sleeping areas.
Summery, you CAN clean up after the cat, stop being a prude and get some gloves :D.
Buy budget cat litter and change to dried food.
Get her down the vets for checks.
Never leave children and cats alone together, never allow cats into sleeping areas.
Be confident in the fact she only has a few more years of natural life left.
Dont stress about the cat, it will pick up on your feelings and will disprespect you even more.
If all else fails, re-home her.
I hope that helps some, please please change the food first though, give it a few weeks and I think you will see a change. Just make sure she gets no treats or table scraps or leftovers, and do not over feed her.
Take care xx
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female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 Tell him, his cat - his responsibility. Its not your job to get rid of the cat. As a parent of 3 children I've been here, but it was a dog. I had her long before I had kids, she was dreadfully jeolous of my babies, but I persevered. I had seperate spaces, it was an organisational nightmare. But oneday, I wasn't paying attention and she bit my young 10 mth old on the face. You can't ignore the fact that this animal is not appropriate to be around children. If your husband thinks that it will all be ok, I'm telling you it won't.
Tell him to deal with it before the baby is born.
Be strong.
You are very right to have concerns about this, my daughter still has a scar on her face to this day over that dog. Children and badly behaved animals simply don't mix!
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