A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've known my boyfriend for 3 years, and we've been dating just over two and a half. Though we've had our ups and downs it's been a good relationship. We both discussed marriage and decided on a year half- 2 years. He has recently said he thinks this is too soon, and he isnt ready for it. Were both still in the beginning of our career's and i think i am less bothered about waiting till i'm further along. I think it's a journey will can undertake together. I wonder if he is getting cold feet about spending his life with me. He says he loves me, but why must i be the one to compromise on a deal we made orginally?If you love someone dont you want to wake up to them each morning? I dont understand where to go from here. I'm tired of game playing, leaving and him pulling me back. And so his he, as he has told me the next time i say i'm leaving, he'll let me go. I love this man so much, but should i just go? forget it. move on. Find someone who is estatic enough to fall in love with me and marry me?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): You two have to look at the pros and cons and decide if your settling for each other cause of comfort or are you two soulmates???I once stayed in a relationship simply because I couldnt stand to see him with someone else and to be honest we are still together and are on our second child but still no ring on my finger. I tell him we aint living right and that I want to spend my life with him but he always has an excuse like we need a house first or we need to take things one day at a time but Ive decided that I stayed with him for the wrong reasons.Make your feeling known and compromise.Your worth it!!And dont settle for less than you deserve.Live is to short to for regrets!!!And time is ticking!!!
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (13 December 2007):
 You are really young to get married these days, but I can understand your impatience to get on with your lives. Are you engaged? If he wants to wait a few years before marriage, would a long engagement be a good compromise for you? At least that way, you wouldn't be wondering if he is committed to you (and that you won't be worried that you're wasting your time waiting for him). He should be willing to discuss it as you and he had discussed being married in the future before. Good luck with everything.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): whats the rush to marry? Perhaps its the fact that you leave when you disagree that makes him think twice marrying you. You say that marriage is about waking up each morning to that person, which it is but it is also being strong enough to discuss disagreements and to stick them out and to be prepared to do anything to make it work - no matter what is thrown at you.
Perhaps its not about him not loving you enough - perhaps about he loves you so much that he doesnt want to marry soon, only to become another divorce statistic.
If this guy, that you love so much is all that you say, surely he is well worth the wait. Try not to add pressure on him, this will only cause resent if he feels forced into a decission.
...............................
|
