A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Mom read my diary this morning, I'm traumatised. She knows my sex life in huge, digusting detail, she knows that I'm a good child brought up very well and I never wanted that to change. I'm a 14 year old female who initiated sex with my previously virgin boyfriend, which I don't regret and don't think that I'll ever regret, we're very emotionally and physically attached to eachother, both good children, with excellent grades holding mega potential between us. I have no idea what to do about my Mom.
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female
reader, celia.capehart  +, writes (10 May 2012):
your mom is disrespectful to you. if you have good grades and have a steady relationship with a guy your mom has NO RIGHT to read your diary. my parents read my diary this very night and i plainly told them "fuck you" not saying you should say that but you should definitely put her in her place. stand up for yourself!
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (17 December 2007):
 I'm sure your Mom read your diary because she already suspected what was going on. I doubt very much that anything she read would have embarrassed her, she was probably expecting it, or something similar. The person who feels embarrassed is you because she read something that you weren't expecting her to. I'd like to tell you that she was wrong, but I'm afraid a lot of parents do this subterfuge under the premise of watching out over you. Let it go. Now that she knows, and she also knows YOU and what a great kid you are, you have someone to go to if you need any help! You might as well look on this as an opportunity to become a bit more open with her. You can use an ally and confidant in your corner now that you have entered the world of adult relationships. She'll always love you, that's what Moms do.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (16 December 2007):
 OK - I'll tell you what you do. You hold your head high knowing that you are entering the world of adulthood. Your Mum will know this to be the case from reading your diary. I can virtually guarantee there is nothing in your diary that your Mum hasn't done, or hasn't thought of doing. Some people start making this transition at 13-14 and others at 18-19. Would have been better if your Mum hadn't read your diary, but it's done know. Carry on behaving as you are with an increasing maturity and a self assured outlook.
Take care
Richard
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your answers, they have really, really helped. X
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A
female
reader, theothergirl +, writes (16 December 2007):
I dont think it is something that u should be traumatized by, big deal she read ur diary, let her know that ur mad and tell her not to go through it again and since its ur privacy, she should know about it and also respect it. Parents do that all the time. My mom did this 2 me when I was a teenager but I had set my rules straight and thank God she had gotten them. so, talk 2 her and Hopeffully she'll stop.Sorry about that and I hope she understands and knows better next time not 2 do that.
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (16 December 2007):
hiya.did your mum say i read your diary what's this i hear about such and such etc?if your mum hasnt said anything, it means that she probably doesnt want to say anything. shell probably h ave a silent opinion of you. now shes read what you got up to it means that you'll have to keep things strong between your mum and your bf. dont worry. itll be embarasing. youll get trough it. just tell you rmum if she asks that it was a private diary and you didnt realise she was planning on reading it. if she makes you feel bad, make her feel guilty.hope this helpsyou might need one of these*virtual hug*please feel free to mail me about anything else you want to talk about,lolelliexxx
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A
female
reader, keely-h +, writes (16 December 2007):
 you poor girl my mom is like that i am 14 too but i am still a virgin. my mom goes through my things thinking i am up to something so i dont keep things like dairIEs.if i want to hide somthing from my mom (like in your case a dairy ) i take it to school with me, leave it in my bag.and your mom must be so concerned her 14 year old daughter having sex already, it must come as a shock considering you sound like you are well brought up.i have no idea what you can do about your mom though how would she like it the best thing to do is to behaive yourself carrie on having good grades help around the home etc. hope i have helped, best whishes xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): I think you need to start off by asking yourself what about your mother reading your diary has made you so tramatised? If it is because you have been so graphic and your mother wiil be shocked and surprised at this revalation about you, then you need to ask yourself if your being real about who you really are. Your mother will be like any other mother, shocked and horrified that her daughter is more advanced that she thought. Most mums want and like to think they have a bond with their daughters and the type of relationship where it is safe and nurturing, where the daughter can come to her mum to get guidance and advice, particularly about relationships.Perhaps you should acknowledge the fact that your mum has read your diary, that she was not impressed and that whilst you feel invaded and exposed, equally it now gives you an opportunity to talk to her about what is going on in your life. You seem okay with how you are behaving, your not letting the rest of your existance down, grade etc, but my dear your only 14, and whether you want to acknowledge it at this time or not, you will need your mother and her support most of your life. Maybe this is an opportuntiy for you to let her in and talk to her. Ask yourself if that is how you want your relationship to be with your mother, ask yourself if your concerns now about the diary entries are more about you feeling embarrassed and exposed rather than tramatised? Tell her you know she has read it and maybe you two should talk about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): ok fisrtly you are right to be upset by your mothers actions a diary is something private and no one unless authorised by you should look at, obviously you have to adress this issue with your mother and talk to her about how she has upset you and discuss why she felt the need to look in your diary in the first place, then you will have to adress the fact that she knows about your sexual relationship with your bofreind altho you would rather not have this converstaion it has to be talked over i think your mother rhite now is going to be pritty concernd with the fact her 14 year old daughter is haveing sex and it is understandable because altho you in yourself feel you are old enoth to have a sexual relationship the law states that you are not and expect your mother to bring that fact up and be upset, you should try to explain to your mother that it was your choice and you were in no way forced into it or pressured that you just simply felt it was the rhite time for you try to point out that you are in a relationship with your boyfreind try to reasure her that your being carefull and usieng protection. try to look at the plus sides you are both good young adults and doing very well in school and that you are both mature enoth to be in this sort of relationship and assure her that if you felt like you wernt you wouldnt be doing it it is hard when someone breaks are trust but you can get passed it and talk it through the key is to communicate and not get over heated and remain calm if you dont feel like you can do this then mabe a family freind or relative could be there with the two of you to help you both talk
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): ignore what she says or feels. at the end of the day lifes about looking after number one and as long as she is not physically or emotionally hurt by what she read... dont worry about her!you sound like you have your head screwed on and in my opinion mature for your age. on how to talk to your mum you have two options, come out completely in the open and talk to her about what she read or pussyfoot around and both pretend it never happened. personally i would do the former, because after all, no matter how formal, religious, conservative or anything she may be, at some point in her life she too has experienced the pleasures of sex and liking a guy just like yougd luck x
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