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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I date a physician .He cheated on his wife with his mistress.He left her and is dating me and I'm a nurse were he works.The rumors at the hospital was he cheated on both xwives.Should I let this bother me?Everybody looks at me weird when I go to work.Do they know something and are not telling me? I heard there was letters written and left at work that he was a cheater,Liar,Pornography,gambler,smoked and was a alcoholic.Somebody must really hate his guts.Give me advice?
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 You seem to be getting lots of advice from all the people that you are working with. You are just not taking it. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): I would definitely listen to other people's advice on something like that. This guy obviously has a reputation and not a good one. If he had a bad reputation just because he had a "psycho" ex who tried to taint his reputation than people would be talking about her being psycho and not about him. There is a REASON why he has this reputation and it is not for any good that he's done. If I were you I would cut my losses.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): Sadly, here's the blunt answer:
If he did it before, he'll do it with you.
People don't make huge changes in their mentality just because they meet someone new...It takes much more than that.
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A
female
reader, Confusedinthecity84  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 Just because his job is typically considered respectable doesn't mean that HE is. Have you confronted him about his reputation? People may be trying to warn you without trying to tell you what to do. Is there anything you've noticed about him that makes you suspect that any of the accusations are true? Try to look at him with a critical eye, even though that's hard when he probably treats you extremely well now that you're dating.
Is there a fair, unbiased person whom you can trust and who knows him better than you do? Try to find solid facts about him, and don't just rely on how nice or charming he is when you're around or the two of you are in private. You need to be sure you're not getting into something that will end up hurting you in the end.
Be cautious. Everyone makes mistakes and people can be petty and vicious in the rumor mill. But, if I were in your place, I would make sure that the rumors are objectively and absolutely NOT true before continuing to date this man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): You risk your own reputation with this guy. People are looking at you thinking "FOOL!!" He left them, chances are he'll leave you. He sounds like a womaniser and a bit of a twat if you ask me.
Find someone worth your time before he completely embarasses you in front of everyone.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 To cut the long advice short, it looks a typical, doctor using his position to get one other girl thing. It is your turn now, and who know who's next.
Yes most probably your reputation will go down with him and you will be another point in the scoreboard for him.
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