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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 17 July 2009: I do believe that he's dropping hints alright, but if he has a girlfriend don't do anything with him!! It is always messy to get involved with a fella in a relationship, so stay clear of anything like that! Keep up with the chatting, but ke... (read in full...)
She's stolen my thunder! How do I tell her to stop going on about it?
Q. Please please help, this is a bit of a long story. I haev a friend, z, and we're very close. last year she moved away to egypt. we have kept in touch. well, for a very long time, ever since i was really little, i have always been into graphic ...
A. 23 June 2009: She probably keeps bringing it up, because she assumes that you would be someone who she could talk about Photoshop with! She probably thinks you have all sorts of insight and conversation around Photoshop, since it's an interest you both share.
... (read in full...)
How to tell my mother-in-law she can't come at my aunt's funeral?
Q. My mother in law is a real tag along. She wants to go everywhere with me and my husband. Tomorrow, we're going to my Aunt's funeral. She's not invited because it's intermediate family only; we couldn't afford to have a public funeral. We're ha...
A. 18 June 2009: Be straight with her. Tell her, "I'm so sorry, but this event is for immediate family only. I'll let my family know that you're thinking of them." and then go. Don't let her weasel her way into attending a funeral where she isn't welcome! This is ... (read in full...)
I don't let my husband see my breasts because they are too small!
Q. Me and my husband been married for about a month now. We're very happy together but I never let him see my breasts cause I think they'll too small (A cups) and I don't think I ever want him see them. My husband begs me to let see them in dark and Im ...
A. 18 June 2009: I know that your husband is not crazy or unreasonable. He's seen your breasts under your shirt and I know that he's not expecting them to magically grow a few cup sizes when the shirt is off. As all the other posters have said, he loves you like ... (read in full...)
Sometime people just bring out the worst in each other
Q. i have completely screwed up and i need some serious help. i have had a boyfriend for almost a year now. it'll be a year on the 30th. he knows almost everything about me. we have so much fun together; but at the same time we fight like crazy. ever...
A. 18 June 2009: Hi there,
I agree with Niki. I really think that you can love someone but not just be right together. You guys seem to just get on each others nerves, and you're clearly not 100% committed to him. As much as it will hurt you to break it off, I r... (read in full...)
What makes a woman good in bed?
Q. One for the guys here! just a general question. We all know what meakes a man bad in bed right? Well what defines weather or not a woman is good in bed? It's not that I have any probs in this department but I'm really curious lol. Will be asking my ...
A. 18 June 2009: A good attitude and enthusiasm! I think a lot of women are too hung up on the physical stuff - they get too worked up about the right position or doing this one thing with their mouth they read in Cosmo. That's just icing on the cake. What makes a ... (read in full...)
How can I be famous???
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl and have always dreamed of becoming a famous disney channel star like selena gomez or demi lovato. I dont know what to do though. I cant sing, and am very shy so I dont think I'd be good at acting but I would try but I dont ...
A. 15 June 2009: Are you involved in your local drama club? Get involved at school and in community theater! You need experience on the stage... it's a one in a million chance that somebody will just spot you in the grocery store and make you a star. You need to ... (read in full...)
7 years down the line and he still hasn't put a ring on my finger!
Q. Hi, I will try to keep this brief. Beloved Boyfriend and I have been living together for approximately 7 years. We have (I think) a wonderful relationship - we are basically best friends who want to spend the rest of our lives together and hav...
A. 15 June 2009: If you are committed to being together forever, then I really think it's time to have a honest and open talk. It's been 7 years... that's a long time. I think that you deserve to know the answer to your question. As 'anon' points out, there are so ... (read in full...)
I'm too paranoid to finish in the condom
Q. Hi ever since I started having sex with girls, always pull out even I always wear a condom. I don't like finishing inside the condom, since it might break. My GF wants me to do it inside but I never do. I'm too paranoid. is this normal? my cousin ...
A. 15 June 2009: No shame in paranoia. Better safe than sorry, as they say. Why not escort your young lady to Planned Parenthood and talk to them about additional birth control? She can get onto the Pill or IUD, you could also consider using spermicide in addition ... (read in full...)
Depressed from the bombshell my wife dropped. She wasn't a virgin.
Q. I recently got married and on our wedding night my wife dropped a bombshell by saying shez not a vrigin. she said she had sex while she was 9 years old and the guy was 20 years old. She didn't have any boyfriend or any sort of relationship since ...
A. 15 June 2009: Amen, Eyeswideopen. Your wife didn't just have sex when she was nine. She was sexually violated when she was nine. She was raped. You should be depressed for your wife, not because of your wife. I imagine this has left her scarred from such a ... (read in full...)
I feel like a child compared to my friends because I'm not having sex, drinking and taking drugs!
Q. Im 14 years old and all my friends are already having sex and giving guys BJs and drinking, drugs ect... i really don't fit in but for some reason im friends with them there nice people but i feel as if im werid cos i dont have a boyfriend and im q...
A. 15 June 2009: Your friends will all be therapy for the rest of their lives. You may feel like a child in comparison, but scrap that feelings. You are acting more like an adult than any of your friends, who are acting immature, unsafe and downright stupid. You are ... (read in full...)
Myster gift of flowers..are they from my date?
Q. Hi, im a seventeen year old girl and i have only ever had one boyfriend. we were together 11 months but then split for the best. ive been single now for 9 months, recently ive been speakin to this guy, ive known him about 3 years now, we speak every ...
A. 15 June 2009: That would be an expensive prank to play!! It's not cheap sending flowers! How sweet of him, and as 'SmellyEllie' says - BLATANTLY they are from him! Who else could they be from? Drop him a line or an e-mail and say thank you for the gift and say ... (read in full...)
I call my ex every time I get drunk to tell her I love her and miss her.
Q. Hi whenever I go partying with my friends and get drunk I call my now ex girlfriend from about 3 months ago to tell her I love her, and miss her. I don't want to do it. But everytime I drink I think of her and miss those times together. I dont know ...
A. 15 June 2009: I found the perfect phone for you:
http://news.cnet.com/8301-10784_3-6088879-7.html
Problem solved!... (read in full...)
Was it rape or change of heart?
Q. so here how it goes..... my best friend has a tendancy to be a little bit dramatic and when i say alittle bit a mean VERY she makes the war in the middle east a play ground schuffle. so anyways it was a very nice day at the beach yesterday so we ...
A. 15 June 2009: As Icelordess says, god bless her, you just be honest and say exactly what you heard. The only thing that comes to mind is that perhaps they were doing oral sex or something and that's where she wanted to stop - and then he just kept going. But, who ... (read in full...)
What does a leather bracelet/fabric bracelet mean these days anyways.... anything?
Q. so, im gonna see this chick, and noticed she is wearing a leather ''friendship'' bracelet ... i am a bit older than she is, (its a surfer style thing, and im a surfer, but just not for years and years) -- so the only place i can ask this, without ...
A. 15 June 2009: It's just an accessory. Maybe I'm out of the fashion loop (though I do read my Cosmo and Glamour monthly), but I'm pretty sure the arm you wear it on doesn't signify if you're available or not. At least not here in the US! Just rock it on whichever ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get our sex life back on track?
Q. My boyfriend and I are getting near our 3-year anniversary, and seem to be in a sexual rut. When we first started having sex after the first year, we had sex every other day, and now we go weeks - and now 2 months - barely touching each other. I ...
A. 15 June 2009: So who is really having the problem initiating things here? That is my question... is your boyfriend just not interested? Are neither of you gutsy enough to initiate things and start up a steamy sesh? Somebody is not holding up their end of the ... (read in full...)
How many couples have sex when the woman in on her period?
Q. Hi everybody, I am wondering how many women or couples out there have sex when the woman is on her period? I have to do it with my boyfriend everyday no matter what and I am not about to skip the sex because of my period. I don't see the problem ...
A. 15 June 2009: We do sometimes - not during the heaviest part of the week, that's my preference. Too messy, I guess. I just feel like I'm going to look down and feel like a slaughterhouse or something. So that, I avoid (though my fella could care less). But at the ... (read in full...)
Is a good idea to sleep with a good friend?
Q. I have had a few boyfriends in my time, but i have never gone 'all the way' with any of them, coz i have never felt like they deserve it. but im now almost 18 and my best guy friend and i have been talking alot. then it ended up with us both ...
A. 15 June 2009: Bad plan, sister! These things always manage to backfire. They really always do... when you "cross that line", as Darkstars says, it just somehow gets so much messier and more complicated. Someone gets feelings, someone gets awkward and weird - the ... (read in full...)
I miss my sister so much & don't know how to deal with it
Q. Well im not sure if this question really applys to this site, but i kinda need a bit of help, my sister just moved to b.c around last christmas, she is coming down for a vist, but i dont know what to do, i miss her so much i love her she was...
A. 15 June 2009: Hi, my dear...
My heart breaks for you. I've been the older sister who left my baby sister to move across the country. And it was so hard!! Not only for her, but for me! We are super close (and 8 years apart). I missed her all the time, and we t... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 14 June 2009: Hey there,
Well!! You've made good progress!! Good for you!
This is what I think you should do. You're talking all the time now, why don't you make time to go get coffee or lunch? I think seeing each other face to face in a non-threatening,... (read in full...)
Isn't it normal for women to like cuddling and kissing?
Q. I'm a very tactile person and I love to show affection with touch, hugging and cuddling, etc. My fiancee doesn't like hugs or cuddles... except as a precursor to making love and only when she initiates it. This leaves me feeling like just a piec...
A. 13 June 2009: Hey there,
I am not a touchy-feely person. I'm not a real cuddler. I like kissing, hugging is okay, but I like it at the right place and time... but as for cuddling? Usually makes me just feel uncomfortable, smothered, suffocated. It's too much... (read in full...)
I feel miserable and concerned about my health
Q. I understand that most women have uneven breasts. I have always noticed mind. I have no quite a complext about since my female doctor commented about them. I have been experiencing pain in the bigger and today thought the pain may be due to the ...
A. 13 June 2009: Hello, my dear...
While my breasts are surprisingly (and unusually) symmetrical, I have been working with/around/for breasts for years. In the last two years I've been working at Victoria's Secret, making breasts look normal, addressing everyday... (read in full...)
I just want my sister and I to get along!
Q. I'm really nice to my little sister (11) but she is mean to me. We get along but out of no where she will start calling me names and hitting me for no reason. I'll hit her back some times but I get tired of it. I really want me and her to be close ...
A. 13 June 2009: I just want to add in - never stop saying "I love you". Even if she doesn't return the sentiment, never stop saying it. I don't want to be all dark and dismal, but you never know what will happen to you and every day it's important to tell the ... (read in full...)
She was an escort and posed for nude photos
Q. I've been dating a sweet, wonderful woman for two and a half years now. She's smart, beautiful, incredibly gentle and kind. I love her a lot and believe she loves me too. I even considered asking her to marry me. Recently however, she con...
A. 11 June 2009: She's got a smudge on her record. Otherwise, she is a complete and wonderful person. You love her. You could marry her and make a beautiful life, memories, kids together. You're going to be kicking yourself down the road for letting this get to you ... (read in full...)
He made a bet to take my virginity, I found out and hit him
Q. My `boyfriend` is 23 and im 17 I recently gave my ``boyfriend`` my virginity (we both wanted it). Well I fonud out he made a bet with his friends that he could have get me drunk and have sex with me on his birthday. I was so mad that I punched h...
A. 11 June 2009: Amen, Cerebus!!! I couldn't say it better...
Though I will say this, you showed great restraint. I would have kicked him in the boys. What an asshole!... (read in full...)
Should I put my foot down or am I overreacting?
Q. I am 34 weeks pregnant and I have been married for 7 months. My husband, however, is still visiting a dating site and contacting the women on there. He does let them know that he is married, but he wants them to send him messages and pictures. I ...
A. 11 June 2009: Put. Your. Foot. DOWN.
7 months in and he's already out there chatting up women? And you're pregnant with his baby? Has he absolutely no regard or respect for you and your marriage? I really think that you need to stand up for yourself here and... (read in full...)
Question about morals in today's world!
Q. Hi. Would I be right in saying that if a man and a woman fancy each other and are exposed to each other for sustained periods of time (i.e. months/years at work) then basically they are going to sleep together regardless of whether or not one or ...
A. 11 June 2009: Hahahaha!
I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh. I just think that that is a pretty wild assumption! You're assuming that NOBODY has self control, NOBODY has morals, EVERYBODY prioritizes getting laid with no regard to anything else. You must not know... (read in full...)
My mum won't let me get my hair cut!
Q. hi. i really want to cut my hair but my mum wont let me. it's waist length now and it's not really practical for when i have to do lab work. my mum is a religious fanatic and refuses to let me have a hair cut. its not like i want it really short, ...
A. 11 June 2009: And, maybe you could do something positive with the hair you cut off? Not sure if they have programs like "Locks of Love" or anything where you are, but perhaps you can donate your hair to a cause. God would definitely give you the thumbs up on ... (read in full...)
Lacking in communication, sexless marriage, what should I do?
Q. I am a 37 year old man. I have been married for 8 years with one 3 year old girl. My question revolves around sex. for the last few years i am lucky to get lucky once every 3 months to 6 months, and then i have to almost beg for it. when i try ...
A. 11 June 2009: Hey there,
Now you may have a problem here - scratch that, you DO have a problem here. It's just a question of whether or not she's cheating, which somehow I doubt. I hope somehow, that soothes you. You haven't mentioned any other indicati... (read in full...)
Do you guys think I'm way in over my head with her or should I ask her out?
Q. Alrighty then. I'll try to make this as brief to the best of my abilities. I'm 24, she's 22. We met in a forum where artists gather and discuss... whatever it is we discuss. Few words about her: She's cute (I'd give her a 7 out of 10), sort of...
A. 10 June 2009: Hooray!!!
Puts a smile on my face. I'm happy for you and for your revelation... you're right, there's always a billion reasons NOT to do something. If she is someone who makes you say "And my God, she is worth the effort." - you absolute... (read in full...)
Do you guys think I'm way in over my head with her or should I ask her out?
Q. Alrighty then. I'll try to make this as brief to the best of my abilities. I'm 24, she's 22. We met in a forum where artists gather and discuss... whatever it is we discuss. Few words about her: She's cute (I'd give her a 7 out of 10), sort of...
A. 10 June 2009: Personally, I am much more attracted to a guy who hasn't been with anyone than a guy who's had 50 women. You have no idea how attractive virgins/newbies can be! Some girls really love "breaking a guy in". I think you are just nervous and you're ... (read in full...)
Violent past
Q. My new partner is really lovely and kind to me but i recently found out in his past relationship he was really violent and abusive. Do you think he will be the same with me or do you think he has changed? ...
A. 10 June 2009: I would just ditch him now. Personally, I just wouldn't take my chances of getting wooed by him, falling for him and getting trapped. That's what abusive men are best at - charming you and getting you emotionally attached... then their true colors ... (read in full...)
Do you guys think I'm way in over my head with her or should I ask her out?
Q. Alrighty then. I'll try to make this as brief to the best of my abilities. I'm 24, she's 22. We met in a forum where artists gather and discuss... whatever it is we discuss. Few words about her: She's cute (I'd give her a 7 out of 10), sort of...
A. 10 June 2009: Seriously, Amen EmilyAnswers. (I heart that girl.)
You are writing this all off before you've even done anything. Goodness gracious! It sounds like your online lady is giving you the go ahead, and the only thing holding you back is this random i... (read in full...)
Guys: Does it bother you if your girl uses a vibrator?
Q. This is a little embarrassing. I have enjoyed masturbation for many years, and then for my seventeenth birthday my weird but lovely best friend bought me a vibrator. Ever since then I have loved using them on a daily basis. I was quite a late ...
A. 10 June 2009: My man was shocked when he found out that I had NEVER used a vibrator and he went out and bought me one ASAP. Thank God for him, because it is awesome and I had been totally missing out. He loves me, he loves the vibrator, we're all a big, happy ... (read in full...)
I insulted my wife while drunk, she went to a hotel, how can I fix this?
Q. I got really drunk and when I home (I came home wasted 10 times in a row). My wife was in the kitchen and she started yelling at me for coming home drunk and not calling her. Then we had a fight about my drinking and pretty much everything that's ...
A. 10 June 2009: This seems painfully obvious, but perhaps you are too caught up in your own world to see it - you need to stop drinking if you want to save your marriage. End of story. She doesn't not deserve your drama, your moods, your abuse and all the crap that ... (read in full...)
How can I feel more confident doing a strip tease for my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend says he'd really like it if i did some type of dance for him like a strip tease, but i have no idea what i should do. I feel really embarrassed and put it off all the time and tell him i'll do it another time. I told him i feel ...
A. 9 June 2009: Speaking as someone who worked in a strip club for a small stint of time (as a DJ, but I did a little dancing here and there), the best advice I can give you is to A) take a class, B) go into things ready to feel silly... a good attitude and sense ... (read in full...)
My man is going to his ex apartment for plumming. I think theres more to it
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles here's a good question for you :) My man is planning on going to his ex-wifes apt. because he says the landlord called and asked him to quote some plumbing work. I really have no reason to suspect anything other than wha...
A. 9 June 2009: If you have no other reasons to have suspicions other than the fact that you've had past wrong-doings by men, I would try to trust your fella. Is he close with his ex? What sort of relationship do they have?
Can you go with him, or at least wa... (read in full...)
Teenage mum. Will my lesbian relationship affect my baby?
Q. Hey I am a young mom with a baby aged 5 months. I have just started getting my life back on track when i met roxanne. We are now dating. Will this affect my child with the fact i am a lesbian?...
A. 8 June 2009: NO, NO, NO, it will not affect your baby. What will affect your baby is having a loving parent, maybe two loving parents (if Roxanne would like to be now or in the future, considered a parent to your child), who are happy together. Your child will ... (read in full...)
Met her, texted her, no response, saw her with boyfriend, didn't talk, not interested? Should I forget it?
Q. ok you females really confuse me. basically i met this girl at uni and i got her number. she said shes seein someone and i asked if it was long term and she said "its not and i don't know where things are going". she replied "yes" after i asked he...
A. 8 June 2009: Sounds like she made up her mind. She's got a boyfriend, so this is your cue to back off and cool off. Maybe her and her boyfriend got more serious, maybe she lost interest in you. Please consider that she may have given you her number because ... (read in full...)
Wanted to talk to girl at club, she wouldn't after talking with her friends, why are women so insecure?
Q. i approached a girl at a club and i asked if i could have a chat with her. enthusiastically she said "yea why not, but leme talk to my friends first cuz we're leavin soon, so i'l be back". after a couple of minutes i noticed she was around me with ...
A. 8 June 2009: Chicks go in packs to be there for each other. Trust me, brother, if she had really been interested and wanted to talk to you, she would have come back to talk to you - even if her girlfriends were encouraging her not to. She made her choice.
... (read in full...)
He's clingy and insecure! Need dating HELP!
Q. OK.. So there is this guy i've been dating for two years this September.. I love him to peices and i think he may love me a little [too much] I'm seventeen and he is twenty so i can see where some of this comes from.. he proposed to me in february ...
A. 8 June 2009: Hello my darling,
Enough is enough!! Why are you telling him "I promise it's not forever"?? YES, YES, YES it should be forever! This guy sounds like a pain in the ass, and you guys have completely different things that you want in life. Clearly ... (read in full...)
How can I be sure that she is ready to lose her virginity?
Q. I have a gf who's a virgin what would the signs be that she is ready to lose her virginity other than saying "I want to lose my virginity"?...
A. 8 June 2009: She's given you the go: "I want to lose my virginity". But, if you want to really make sure, really let her take initiative. You can start things, by kissing her, taking off clothes, etc. But let her really be the leader and direct things. Make sure ... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 29 May 2009: Hey darlin,
Next time he asks you, ACCEPT. Or, if you're feeling gutsy (and I hope you are), you should go ahead and ask him to do something casual.
Don't be scared - the worst that can happen is that it doesn't end up going anywhere and you... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 29 May 2009: Sister, it's not even close to too late! It's only too late if he's married or one of you dies. So get on it!! You guys have a history together and that can be a great start to a great relationship. You will never know until you try and you don't ... (read in full...)
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