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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Since my hymen was already broken from sports, why did it hurt?
Q. My boyfriend and I were at my house alone today and we ended up in a play fight over the remote. Well, it resulted in sex. We got so turned on that we got physical. It was unprotected and it hurt. I was a virgin and this was my first time. I don't ...
A. 23 February 2009: Well that's good, way to be smart and think ahead!! But, just because you are cootie free, doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant! So just be sure that you seek out protection and keep yourself completely safe from risks.
Awesome though, ... (read in full...)
Since my hymen was already broken from sports, why did it hurt?
Q. My boyfriend and I were at my house alone today and we ended up in a play fight over the remote. Well, it resulted in sex. We got so turned on that we got physical. It was unprotected and it hurt. I was a virgin and this was my first time. I don't ...
A. 22 February 2009: Sex can still hurt even if you don't have a hymen. You're still inserting a big foreign object inside of you!! Your vagina hasn't even had to handle anything like that (big assumption there). However, you CAN get pregnant from this, you ABSOLUTELY ... (read in full...)
Want to send ex bf a flirty birthday message that doesn't push it too far. Any ideas?
Q. It's my ex's birthday on February 25th, and I still really like him (after 5 years). We met up recently after not seeing eachother for 5 years, and my friend thought he was still fond of me. Anyway, I usually give him a happy birthday text! T...
A. 22 February 2009: I like your "Happy Birthday, Have a beer for me! x". It's not too forward, but it's still just flirty enough to let him know you may be interested. Don't be too outright, you will come off desperate. Leave him wanting more and curious about if you ... (read in full...)
His porn watching is so bad I've even thought of having an affair!
Q. I'm 42 and in a relationship with a man who is 40. He has recently been injured at work and since then he would rather sit in the bedroom in front of the computer every waking moment.. He watches so much porn that one would think it would make him ...
A. 22 February 2009: EmilyAnswers is dead on. He DOES seem like he's suffering from depression... he's probably bored sick and feeling useless being stuck at home 24/7. So you need to do exactly as Emily says and get his ass back into action! Give him a reality check by ... (read in full...)
My friends say I shouldn't trust him and that he's lying but I don't know what to believe.
Q. I like this guy but he cheated on his ex of two years twice. He promised he won't do it to me and he wants a chance to prove it. My friends say I shouldn't trust him and that he's lying but I don't know what to believe. I really like him and I don't ...
A. 22 February 2009: I agree with Wise Woman (kickass name, by the way). I'd give him a shot - the age difference isn't too bad, unless you're planning on having sex. I won't give you that lecture, though. Anyhow, if he cheats on you or you catch him in a lie - drop him ... (read in full...)
I need help choosing between them, advice would be appreciated?
Q. alright, to set it off, im bi, currently liking girls. problem is choosing between two of them. alright, heres the scenerio, basically, im torn between two ladies. when we start to look for significant others, we have certain "ideals" right? ...
A. 22 February 2009: If you can't get Z out of your head, then it's obvious who to choose. You're young, and you should be with someone who you are just totally excited about. You've got the rest of your life to choose the "safe" choice.
However, back in school I... (read in full...)
If two gay guys have sex, did both of them lose their virginity?
Q. if two gays have anal sex do both of them lose there virginity? like if one of them is on the recieving end and the other on the giving is it only one of them that loses it or both?...
A. 20 February 2009: I've never heard of my life virginity being specific to women. Never in my life! Now I could just be crazy or perhaps I missed that part of sex ed, but as far as I know, virginity pertains to whether or not you have experienced sexual intercourse. ... (read in full...)
His new sex move is amazing, but I feel guilty for loving it!
Q. Dear girls Pse help me with a rather embarrassing question. A few months ago my bf was going down on me and suddenly switched tactics and flicked his tongue across my ass. After a few protestations I had my biggest orgasm EVER and a huge headache ...
A. 20 February 2009: You haven't watched much porn have you? You are completely normal, what you're doing even has a name - rimming. So congratulations, welcome to a new chapter of life consisting of mind blowing orgasms and a few headaches on the side.
Guilt... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be so rough and always wants anal sex
Q. My BF of 6 months is nice and gentle except in bed. I mean he starts nice and gentle but it always gets very dominant. He was abused as a child and HAS to be the dominant person in bed. I want to please him, but he now wants anal sex EVERY time ...
A. 20 February 2009: So, he says that since he was abused, this is his excuse for doing this to you? He seems to certainly be using this information to his advantage into getting you to fulfill all of his fantasies. You seem to have accepted that since he was abused, ... (read in full...)
Best wants to cheat on her b/f what do I say to her?
Q. ok so my friend told me the other day that she cheated on her bf about a year ago with some guy she met through another friend. so anyway she finished it with the "guy" and ended up getting pregnant. i believe the baby is her bf's. however now she ...
A. 20 February 2009: In her situation, it would probably be best for her to break up with her boyfriend. If she has the urge to cheat and is unhappy in her relationship, she shouldn't be in it. Even if she is pregnant with his child. However, you should encourage her to ... (read in full...)
I cheated but I want to make it work again
Q. My name is Jamie and i'm 18 years old. I know this is a little long, but please read what i have to say and help me. If you have been in my, Alex or Joe's situation before you're thoughts would be very welcome. I cheated on my boyfriend of 2 y...
A. 20 February 2009: How Alex reacted is a major red flag to me... he destroyed your flat? Threatened you? I realize that he was upset, and has the right to be - but both of these things send big neon red flashing signs to me that this guy can get out of control and had ... (read in full...)
Should I trust him or is he in over his head?
Q. Hey I'm 14 and I have been told that I'm mature for my age I guess I am. A have practicly been taking care of myself and my brother and sister for two years now, and to get to my point, boys my age are stupid so my bf is 18 we know the risks of ...
A. 19 February 2009: Hi there,
I think you need to discuss what promise he's making you with his ring. I had a boyfriend who gave me a promise ring years ago, and I kind of felt the same way you did. So I asked him to clarify what his promise was... he said that the... (read in full...)
Do women like for a man to shave his pubes?
Q. Do most women or any like it for a man to shave is pubes? or is that weird? i have asked a girl that and she said if women do men should too. but do you think men should shave their pubes? ...
A. 19 February 2009: Just like SatinDesire said, ask her! The preferences for this stuff is all over the map! We're only 5 women out of the millions out there (including your woman). Everyone is a little different.
Oh yes, and your happy trail is fine, I'm sure! ... (read in full...)
Should I do something special for him to apologize for being so stupid?
Q. Ok, so I blew it, and I'd like some advice as to what to do now. My boyfriend is 7 years older than me and has more "history" because of it. Last night, we'd had a bit too much to drink, and I got insecure about something he brought up from ...
A. 19 February 2009: Eh, the only way you should do anything exceptional is if it will make you feel better. He seems to feel fine. Now you just need to feel better about it! So, if you need to do something super nice to your boyfriend to make yourself feel absolved of ... (read in full...)
Do women like for a man to shave his pubes?
Q. Do most women or any like it for a man to shave is pubes? or is that weird? i have asked a girl that and she said if women do men should too. but do you think men should shave their pubes? ...
A. 19 February 2009: I prefer a pretty close trim. Bare is a little bit of a pornstar look - I would like bare better than a full bush, but if you decide to wear bare, WAX, don't shave. Stubble is the ultimate disaster!!... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to get his grandma to let us sleep together?
Q. My boyfriend and I are goiing to his grandma's house this weekend and we may be taking his little brother. We lived with his grandma for a few months and always slept in separate beds... but the little brother will make it so we are 1 bed short. ...
A. 19 February 2009: Ask your fella to ask her if it's alright. If she's uncomfortable with the idea, let it go. It's her house and you should respect her rules... my boyfriend and I have been together 3.5 years and my Grandma still feels weird about letting us sleep in ... (read in full...)
Should I surprise him and give him a BJ while we're out?!?
Q. Ok, so tonight I'm going out to the movies with my boyfriend. He called me late last night at work to tell me he was feeling soooo horny! I thought it was cute. And I didn't let him know, but I wanted him so bad!! We haven't had sex just yet. And ...
A. 19 February 2009: It would be a HUGE turn on that he would remember for the rest of his life.
Just be careful you don't get busted!! He would also remember getting arrested with his pants down for the rest of his life.
Good luck and have a blast!... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby? Or not?
Q. When my mom was 16 she had her first child. which was my older brother who is now 32 and got a 7 month old baby of his own, which is my neice and he has a wife. I am now 16, 17 in september and I have been suffering from depression since I was 13 ...
A. 19 February 2009: Hello, my darling...
Oh, I want to give you a hug. I understand why you want a baby, but sometimes even though you really, really want something you need to grit your teeth and do what's best for you, your body and future child - wait until yo... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to cope with working with my ex!
Q. I fell in love with a guy who I still think is a wonderful person, and we dated for 2.5 yrs. He was the love of my life. It was rocky for a while and ultimately ended largely because he never could get comfortable with the fact that I've enjoye...
A. 19 February 2009: Oh my...
Men, right? What is with that competitive nature and then the self esteem problems that come out of it?
Well, you can't do much of anything. You can only keep dong what you're doing. I'm sure you've already tried to reassure him tha... (read in full...)
He acted as if he liked me, now all of a sudden he's being cold, I wonder why?
Q. There is a guy I know that had a crush on me back when we were kids... we've crossed paths now and again throughout our lives, and as it turns out, i am now close to his mother, so i see him more frequently. lately he's been saying things like "I ...
A. 19 February 2009: Maybe this is new tactic to get you. Maybe he's playing hard to get. Or, maybe he got sick of waiting around and thought that maybe you just liked the attention but didn't actually like him. Let him chill for a few days and then pick back up.
... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have an operation to restore your virginity???
Q. I am married and divorced but my family has arranged for second marriage. He wants my virginity back, he said it is possible you can go operate, it is possible?...
A. 19 February 2009: Does he honestly think that a pricey surgery will bring back your virginity? Magically erase your last sexual partner? This man sounds a little delusional to me, and definitely selfish. The surgery will only bring back your hymen, just another body ... (read in full...)
We're friends... but we do have sex!
Q. After dating for 5 months, I got pregnant and miscarried. He then said he just wanted to be friends but now we are having sex again. I told him "friends" don't have sex, so don't break my heart, but said I wasn't pushing him for an answer until he ...
A. 18 February 2009: You told him your terms, you just need to stick to them. Definitely leave him, at least until he's ready to make a solid commitment to you... otherwise, no more sex for him! I wouldn't even bother with the cards or any other kind of effort. Show him ... (read in full...)
I'm freaking out after my horrible sex experience with my BF, can you help me?
Q. So i'm seventeen and my boyfriend and i had sex last night as a late valentines day present and now i'm freaking out. Well my boyfriend kind of pressured me into having sex at this camping trip and he didnt stop when i told him to stop being so ...
A. 18 February 2009: Your boyfriend is a scumbag. No man should do that to you, he clearly is focused on his penis and not at all on you. Disrespectful douchebag!! As for your bleeding, it is fairly normal if he was that rough on you, but if it persists or if you feel ... (read in full...)
I'm dieting and exercising, why am I not losing more weight?
Q. i have recently begun a diet. weightwatchers to be precise. i dont go to any meetings as i cant afford this but i have the newest book and have researched alot into it. i am 5ft2 and at the beginning i weighed 11st10pounds. which i know is very ove...
A. 18 February 2009: Don't get discouraged now! You are only a month in. It is very difficult to lose weight, it's all about maintaining the lifestyle and you'll see long term progress. You should be incredibly proud of yourself though - it's really hard to make a ... (read in full...)
What's going on in his head? I need advice
Q. I started dating my first boyfriend a month ago.I am just turning 18 and he is about to turn 19. He spoils me,and takes me out to nice restaraunts,and I lost my virginity to him acouple weeks ago. eveybody thinks he is my prince charming including ...
A. 18 February 2009: Hey sweetness,
This is your chance to prove what a cool girlfriend you really are. It's totally okay to have these minor freakouts in your head (we all do), but like like Rach and Shortstuff said, just relax and chill out. He'll come to you. He ... (read in full...)
Why do some women hate their men watching porn?
Q. why do some women have a problem when they find out their man enjoys a little porn? i don't get it. we all know men need something visual to get them excited, so what is the difference between a woman reading an erotic novel or having a fantasy...
A. 18 February 2009: Some chicks are just super insecure or feel like they want their relationship to be sexually exclusive not only physically but visually too.
I'm like you, I could care less that my fella checks out porn - I know that he loves me best and would al... (read in full...)
Should I help him or do men usually do that themselves?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a few months. We want to begin to get intimate. When we are ready to have sex for the first time (I'm a virgin and he's not)should I help him put his penis in me or does the man generally do that. Any tips ...
A. 18 February 2009: DEFINITELY help guide him in. Poor men, they fumble around and have no idea what they're doing. You'll have a much better idea of where he should be aiming than he will.
He may be able to just go ahead and slip it in himself... but you being a ... (read in full...)
Having change of heart about having abortion
Q. I am going to try to make this quick...I am writing because I need advice very soon. My situation is down to the eleventh hour so to speak. I am pregnant and have had a change of heart,I think??? I really think I want to have this baby and know it ...
A. 18 February 2009: I'm a pro-choicer, but firmly believe that you should do what your heart tells you, not anyone else. Don't have an abortion for other people in your life, it is your child, your body, your life. They will not have to live with the emotional ... (read in full...)
Job-phobia!
Q. Job-phobia? Ok so I am 16, last year I tried to work somewhere and I worked for like 1 week. It was hard work and they didn't pay me. I am a pretty shy person about this kind of stuff so I wouldn't fight for my money. Now that I am 16 I want to ...
A. 16 February 2009: Your English is pretty astounding, having taught yourself!! So WOW, well done. Clearly, you're an extremely bright and ambitious young man... and working to support your family is admirable.
You are so young, and it's normal to feel afraid o... (read in full...)
Breastfeeding a 10-year-old? I'm shocked, what do you think?
Q. I was shocked! I recently discovered that my aunt sister in-law is still breastfeeding her 10 year old daughter. I came about this information from my own daughter around the same age. Being the concerned parent that I am casually engaged the topic ...
A. 16 February 2009: I've read that the longer you can breastfeed, the better for the child. While breast feeding a 10 year old may be socially taboo or frowned upon, it's still nobodies business but theirs. Nobody is harming or abusing the child, and the family is only ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother that I've been using her vibrator?
Q. Okay so I have a major problem. It's the second time that I've had the guilty feeling this bad. But it's for really stupid things. I've done really really worse things and I've never given it a second thought and it just bugs me that I'm bothered by ...
A. 16 February 2009: Your Mother does not need to know!! Please, just don't do it again. That's the best you can do! Please absolve yourself of the guilt - yes, what you did was definitely weird, stupid, but it wasn't the most horrible thing in the universe. You didn't ... (read in full...)
Who here is really in love after two years?
Q. I decided to ask this question after receiving a reply on here from another user talking about after two years of marriage she is no longer happy with her guy - I've never really lasted much longer than 2 years with any one guy either. Anyo...
A. 14 February 2009: I'm going on year 4, and we're very happy. We're extremely compatible, and manage to just get along beautifully. It's a lucky situation, but just great for us!... (read in full...)
What am I supposed to talk to his sister about?
Q. Ok... Me and my boyfriend have being going out a month. We are both 15 so we cant drive so for V - day we are going with his mom and sister. His sister doesnt seem to like me to much and he just said i many have to hang out with her in the mall. ...
A. 13 February 2009: Hey,
Why not just bring up something like, "that shirt is really cute, where'd you get it?". A compliment always breaks the ice... and if she's cold to you after that, well, you tried.
Maybe, "what's your favorite store here?" and then ... (read in full...)
I need some questions for my valentine's day fun!
Q. Valentine's Day Questions? Hi there, I have been dating a guy for a few months and know them pretty well. We are spending our first Valentine's Day together this weekend. We have a hotel booked, champagne for breakfast etc. I thought it would...
A. 12 February 2009: - If you got one more life after this one, what would you come back as?
- Where was your favorite place to go in elementary school, middle school, high school?
- If you could get any educational degree (for free, of course), what degree woul... (read in full...)
What's his problem? I don't deserve this!
Q. my partner is being really nasty just lately and i have asked whats wrong but he wont say. we have been together for over 3 years we have a daughter and another on the way and i also have a son by a previous partner. we planned this baby so i k...
A. 12 February 2009: Hey sweet,
We need a little more information than this... how is he being nasty? Is he saying nasty things to you, is he closing himself off and giving you the cold shoulder? Is he making you feel unattractive or inadequate? How is your physical... (read in full...)
I want to call the wedding off, but he doesn't. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I'm in need of advice desperately.I've been in a relationship for the past 2 and 1/2 years now,we are getting married in a few months time and I'm studying .lately Ive been having doubts about us,about the wedding,about just being with ...
A. 12 February 2009: I agree with Artistry, so I won't bother writing too much, she said what I would have, only much better than I ever could have!
I don't think you should marry him. Your intuition and gut seem to be telling you to break off this wedding, and thos... (read in full...)
He was wet rubbing against me..could I get pregnant from this?
Q. Tonight me and my boyfriend were fooling around, he was fingering me and I was giving him a handjob. One thing led to another and both our underwear came off and our genitals were rubbing up against each others. He had ejaculated, and I was wet too. ...
A. 12 February 2009: Yes, you can absolutely get pregnant from this. You need to be using protection, from both pregnancy and STI's because both can be contracted like this.
Respect yourself and your body by protecting it from such risks!!... (read in full...)
I had sex with my best friend's fiance, should I come clean or avoid to do it again?
Q. I knew my best friend's fiance before they got together. He is extremely attractive but when he was single I had a boyfriend. I have since split up with my boyfriend. I live in London and regularly make trips up North to see my best friend. Her ...
A. 12 February 2009: A silly mistake? That's when you get drunk at a bar and slap a girls ass. That's when you get caught up in a moment and makeout with the hot guy you were behind in coffee line. That's flirting with your friends man. What you did was completely ... (read in full...)
Am I just being stupid by not giving Jimmy what he wants?
Q. Alright, (Not their real names) I love Matt (18 yrs old) I love Jimmy (14 yrs old) I am Sarah (14 yrs old) Matt is my ex, we dated when I was 12 and he was 16. I never really got over him, as in, I tend to fall back for him whenever I reall...
A. 12 February 2009: You are NOT stupid for not giving Jimmy what he wants. You, are obviously a smart, classy girl and he is obviously a horny teenager who can't think with anything but his you-know-what. Don't stick with him... he will be one of those guys who is only ... (read in full...)
I want a name that is mine..not a generic name!
Q. I've posted before about how I hate my name, and I've decided I want to change it. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but I've never been able to identify with the legal name I got. I feel like it's not even my name and I was meant to be named ...
A. 12 February 2009: Change it! Change it! Change it! Change it!
(that was supportive chanting, if the tone didn't get across via the world wide web.)... (read in full...)
Do guys prefer blondes over brunettes?
Q. do most guys perfer a pretty blonde to a brunette. any guy i have known always went for the blondes heavy or thin. do guys not like brunette are we not good enough or pretty enough like the blondes...
A. 11 February 2009: Okay, not hating on those blonde bombshells, but I'm a smokin' brunette and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I've never had trouble finding a fella, even have completed for a guy with a blonde - I took home the trophy (but dropped the guy a few ... (read in full...)
I want a name that is mine..not a generic name!
Q. I've posted before about how I hate my name, and I've decided I want to change it. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but I've never been able to identify with the legal name I got. I feel like it's not even my name and I was meant to be named ...
A. 11 February 2009: You know, my best friend changed her name when we decided to randomly move across the country. I loved her old name (Caroline), but she hated it with a passion. She said it never fit her, never felt right. So she changed it (to Alethea, if you were ... (read in full...)
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