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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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What should I do to motivate a proposal?
Q. Hello I'm 29 years old and my partner is 50, we have been shacking up for 2.5 years outside of the few times I kicked him out. We are both attractive and it is not a sugar daddy realtionship I love him deeply and do not want another relationship. We ...
A. 20 April 2009: Hi there,
Why did you kick him out? What did he do to deserve that? As I read your question, I get the same vibe that "Kellyxxx" got - why do you want to marry him? Not only does he have to have done something to deserve getting his butt kicked o... (read in full...)
I touched myself, does that mean I lost my virginity?
Q. Hello,I'm very ashamed to speak about this but I've no choice,I knew that my critical period must start that night but I couldn't stop,I pressed a pillow down there and touched myself.Suddenly I felt a little pain and after 10 minutes my critical ...
A. 20 April 2009: NO, NO you did not!! Unless there was a man and a penis (or a woman with a penis like tool), you did not lose your virginity! It sounds like what you did was experiment with masturbation, and let me tell you, missy - there is NOTHING wrong with ... (read in full...)
What is a sexy outfit to wear for a striptease/lapdance?
Q. What is a sexy outfit to wear for a striptease/lapdance? I was thinking a miniskirt, a mesh shrug top that ties in the middle, a black thong and some stockings? ...
A. 19 April 2009: Completely perfect - but don't forget the garter belt and sexy heels!!!... (read in full...)
Should I move in with my friend?
Q. Well... I find my friend sexually attractive (I'm bisexual, and she knows I do but she pretends she don't but she knows because I told her once and when I got drunk I kept feeling on her and she mentioned it and thought it was funny but she wants us ...
A. 19 April 2009: I agree with SatinDesire. To have this not get horribly complicated or super dramatic or ruin a friendship (or relationship), you should make things really clear with her before you move in. Trust me, moving in with someone can make or break a good ... (read in full...)
I want him to get a boner over me!!!!
Q. I finally go out with the boy I like, he asked me out but last night I went to see him and then we went about with his mates and they were like Drew she's the only one you haven't gotten a boner over and then he was like you don't know, you weren't ...
A. 19 April 2009: Hello my darling,
Your boyfriend's friends sound a little slimy - just to let you know. But anyhow, a) glasses do not make you ugly, they make you look AMAZING (I love my glasses and I get compliments all the time!), and b) if your fella is huggi... (read in full...)
My husband of 2 years is now claiming that he is really a woman on the inside!
Q. My husband of 2 years is now claiming that he is really a woman on the inside. He loves to crossdress and has been out in public to join support groups completely made up as a woman. I am having a great deal of emotional problems with this. I ha...
A. 15 April 2009: Hi there,
It sounds like your husband is trying to be open with you, but still has a lot to figure out himself! You sound like you've been pretty tolerant of him and his lifestyle, which is commendable. A lot of women wouldn't do the same. Pl... (read in full...)
Why would he tell me he masturbates to my picture?
Q. My male friend just confessed to me that he masturbates to my picture, should I be offended by this? (He has a girlfriend) What is he trying to say?...
A. 10 April 2009: Well, I'd be a little offended. It would be sleazy if he didn't have a girlfriend, but he does so that makes it just plain AWFUL. So, don't okay his actions! And don't get flirty with him, he has a girlfriend (who would be pissed off if she knew, I ... (read in full...)
How do beer goggles work?
Q. is their a scientific reason why people look better looking when your druink ? Or is it just our minds playing tricks on us ? x...
A. 10 April 2009: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/4468884.stm
Gave me some insight!... (read in full...)
Selfish one night stand. Could I get pregnant?
Q. Ok the other night I decided to go to out with my sister and ended up finding a cute guy.So anyways took him back home was drunk and horny and slept with him using no protection and I am not on any type of bc,I told him that. He never came in me a...
A. 7 April 2009: I don't know when "the other night" means, but please go get some morning after pill (Plan B) ASAP! Tonight! Or at least, as soon as the pharmacy opens! Call around and see who sells it over the counter, or get in touch with a Planned Parenthood or ... (read in full...)
Does it matter if the pill is taken in the morning or at night?
Q. Hi, Ive been on the pill for over a year now and Ive taken it the same time everyday everytime I start a new pack. I was wondering would it make a difference if I started taking the new pack in the morning rather than in the evening? ...
A. 6 April 2009: No, it shouldn't be a problem as long as you keep your switch consistent. As long as you are following a schedule, you should be fine. Switching from morning to night will be okay, but you'll need to either gradually make the shift, or just swap ... (read in full...)
Do women brag about their sexual experiences too?
Q. Do women brag about their sexual experiences the same way guys do?...
A. 4 April 2009: My and my girlfriends regularly indulge in filthy talk about our fellas. We talk about EVERYTHING. My girlfriends probably know more about me and my guys sex life than my guy does!! Lucky for me, my fella has no shame and doesn't care that I yack ... (read in full...)
What's your take on Manscaping?
Q. Hi Everyone, What's your take on Manscaping? Do you think a man should keep his pubic region trimmed, natural, shaved? I see lots of girls ask about this but I think it is becoming more common for men as well. I know it is personal prefere...
A. 4 April 2009: Ahhh, manscaping. Personally, I appreciate that my fella is attentive to that area. It makes things so much nicer and more comfortable for ME. Shaving it bare is unnecessary, but keeping things nice and trim is optimal. That's just me, though!!... (read in full...)
I don't like his kids!
Q. my problem is that i hate my boyfriend's kids.. he wants to bring them from chicago to live in our apartment in dallas! and the worst part is that its not only one kid, he has three (13, 10 and 8 years old)!!!!!!!! we have been living together...
A. 3 April 2009: Him and the kids are a packaged deal and pretty much it comes down to you. If you can't stand them, you're going to have to leave. He can't ditch his kids for you, so you're going to have to make a choice - can you step up and play Mom to 3 children ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go flying...But I think I am pregnant!
Q. My boyfriend wants me to go out with him and experience a demo flying lesson this weekend! Plus, we're both volenteering at a church fair and of course we'll be going up and down on all the rides. The thing is..I think I might be pregnant. It's o...
A. 3 April 2009: Hi, my darling.
It's not like you're 7 months pregnant now, girlfriend. If you are pregnant, you are a mere 3 days pregnant and unless you think one of these church fair rides will kill you - I don't think they pose a big threat to your or your ... (read in full...)
Hormonal changes in women during their period... quick poll!
Q. Quick poll: when a gal goes on her period: -Guys: does it happen that she can become difficult to deal with? As in, she's much shorter tempered and you can agitate her more easily? -Gals: do you tend to get short with people including your o...
A. 2 April 2009: For me, I don't get snappy and pissy so much as I get a little weepy. I think I'm just a little oversensitive during that time, but I won't scream at someone, so much as I'll suddenly feel like "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend plans to attend her ex-boyfriend's wedding (without me)! So upsetting!
Q. recently i found out something about my gf's sexual past with one of her ex's that was TMI and in my opinion, borderline deal-breaker. we've talked about it a couple times and was making good tracks on moving past it because i think she's worth it, ...
A. 31 March 2009: I guess I'm not seeing why YOU'RE feeling upset. I get that you don't like the past she has with this guy, but she's going to an event that marks him NOT marrying her and moving on with his life, leaving your girlfriend far, far away. On that day he ... (read in full...)
Should I take her to the prom to please my parents?
Q. My parents want me to go to my senior prom with a family friend's daughter. She is cute and friendly but I don't really know her that well so I am not that comfortable with the idea. If I don't take her I won't have a date and I will go to my final ...
A. 31 March 2009: Hi there,
If you're available and she's a cool girl, why not go? You don't need to go as anything serious, even just as friends. Who knows, maybe you'll have a good time with her! Make a new friend or...? And if it bombs, well you went on a date w... (read in full...)
How many positions during sex?
Q. Quick poll/survey/whatever you want to call it: How many positions do you like to go through during sex?...
A. 29 March 2009: I say: 2-3
My fella says: 3-4
Good conversation starter!!! (But not recommended for the first date, lol!)... (read in full...)
I can see us breaking up but I still have fun with him
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years and nearlly two months, lives with me and my family and has done for 2 years. Recently tho we;ve been argueing alot, we usualy argue but neevr this much before. He says he doesnt think thing's are working out and doesnt want ...
A. 28 March 2009: Hi there,
It doesn't say anywhere in your question whether or not you love him. You've been with him for 3 years, do you love him or are you feelings 'eh' towards him? If you love him and want your relationship to work, you should really stick th... (read in full...)
My g/f says she doesn't want to have sex anymore
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and I am very much in love with her. The other day we were lying in my bed and she started talking about how she doesn't want to have sex anymore until she loses weight. I keep telling her that she is ...
A. 27 March 2009: I doubt that she's cheating on you unless she's given you any other indication of doing so. She's probably telling you the truth and just feeling self conscious about her body until she loses that weight. So, what I would do is be sexy with her ... (read in full...)
Should I continue with my application for the military?
Q. Hi. I need some advice and hope someone is able to help. I am engaged to a wonderful man and we have been together for nearly 5 years. However because im still young and in a dead end job, ive applied to join the Military. I am always thin...
A. 27 March 2009: Hey darling,
My fiancé just signed up for the Marines. Mostly because of a rough economy, but also because he needed a challenge, and wanted to set up a good life for us. We're getting married soon - thank goodness he doesn't leave until Septembe... (read in full...)
Why did I only get suspended if she started it?
Q. Hi everyone!!! I have a problem you see my best friend in the whole world and I got in a fight last month and it got very physical. And she slapped me first cause she said that people said that I was talking bout her behind her back but I wasn't!! ...
A. 26 March 2009: Because it takes two to tango, my dear!! I know that it feels unfair and that she started it, but it seems like the fight got pretty nasty! Did you hit her back?
Lesson learned, my sweet. Good luck!... (read in full...)
He won't go out with me because I'm "flat chested" Grrrrr
Q. Well basically, I am 14 and I am not fully 'developed' yet. Like I haven't started my period and my boobs are basically like mosquito bites. This is because my mum developed really late. She didn't start her period til she was 16 but the annoying ...
A. 26 March 2009: HAHAHAHA.
Touché!!... (read in full...)
He won't go out with me because I'm "flat chested" Grrrrr
Q. Well basically, I am 14 and I am not fully 'developed' yet. Like I haven't started my period and my boobs are basically like mosquito bites. This is because my mum developed really late. She didn't start her period til she was 16 but the annoying ...
A. 25 March 2009: Ugh, what a jerk!!!!!
First off, you don't want this guy OR his friend. What he said just shows exactly what he wants from a girlfriend - not a relationship, but some boobs to play with. He can get a blow up doll for that!
Trust me swee... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair with our daughter in law!
Q. four months ago my husband came to me and confessed to an affair. this was the second time he cheated-or at least that i caught him. first was ten years ago with his secretary. i forgave him then but this time was much harder. it turned out the ...
A. 24 March 2009: It seems to me that you are putting way too much blame on your daughter in law and not nearly enough on your husband. Even if your DIL has an attitude problem, she's the vulnerable one here with a husband far away, grand kids to take care of, etc. ... (read in full...)
Is my marriage doomed after my wife cheated on me?
Q. Dear all, I hope that by canvasing the globe for opinions I might find consensus and a clear path ahead. 3 months after I got married last year my wife tells me that she's cheated on me since we got married. Her reasons were the things were a bi...
A. 24 March 2009: She's gotta go, bucko.
She hasn't apologized. She couldn't make it 3 months into being married without cheating. It seems to me that you're giving her WAYYYY too much power in this situation - you say you don't want to make her beg, but brother,... (read in full...)
Some creative and inexpensive ideas for a birthday gift would be appreciated
Q. I need some birthday gift ideas for my boyfriend of two years. His bday is coming up in exactly one month from today, and I would like some ideas on what to get him. I am leaning more towards making him something, like some arts and craft, cookies, ...
A. 23 March 2009: I think your ideas are all perfect!! Why not make him delicious dinner, then give him a delicious massage - and playing in the background can be a mix CD (or playlist) that you made especially for him. After his fantastic massage, feed him cookies! ... (read in full...)
He says he didnt write that email. Could the computer have a virus, or is he lying?
Q. Just a couple of hrs ago I was mailing out an Invoice for my partener of 8yrs and opened up his contacts which opened up an old email account of his that was rarely used. I found an email in the drafts folder addressed to Sexy Men Directory. The ...
A. 23 March 2009: Hey my darling,
As Eyes said, no computer can magically write an e-mail. They can send endless amounts of 'em, but they can't sneak into someones private e-mail and compose one themselves.
It was a draft, at least he rethought his decision to ... (read in full...)
He loved me when we couldnt be together, but now that there is a chance for me to live near by he doesn't want me anymore
Q. How do I know if he has real feelings for me? I met this guy on the internet about 9 months ago. We then started chatting online and webcamming for several months. i then took a chance and flew to Canada and spent a wonderful month with him. ...
A. 23 March 2009: Hey there,
Oooh, you poor sweet thing. Here's the thing about long distance relationships, they're great because they're kind of non-committal. You can live your own lives, do whatever the hell you want and still have someone to talk to, listen t... (read in full...)
I'm straight but want to experiment with gay sex! How do I go about this?
Q. I am a straight, 20 year old, virgin male. I'm insanely horny but have been unsuccessful by all means. I have always been turned on by gay porn, but always was attracted just to the sexuality of it, not the fact that it was men, and I never had any ...
A. 23 March 2009: In all my years giving advice on this site, I don't think I've ever recommended anonymous sex. It can be dangerous (you don't know where strangers have been!! Disease central!), and you never know when you'll get mixed up with shady folks. However, ... (read in full...)
We're only 14 & everyone says its just infatuation?
Q. Hello to everyone who stumbles upon this question and for those who take the time to read and answer this, thank you. I am currently 14 years old, living in the UK. I've been going out with this boy who is the same age as me and we've been tog...
A. 22 March 2009: Time will be the teller here. But for now, don't doubt your love and don't listen to those suckers trying to undermine it. Your love is completely sincere, genuine, honest - TRUE. Sure you're 14, and it may not be forever-love, but it certainly is ... (read in full...)
Bored with Marriage!!
Q. I really do not know where to start.. Some of the questions asked seem "all to familiar". My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years. We have 4 children total, all under the age of 11. Two from previous marriages and our youngest 3 and ...
A. 21 March 2009: I wish your husband was the one writing this question, because he seems like he needs an awful lot of advice and help. I think you are getting frustrated and annoyed with his lack of romance and intimacy and commitment to the basis of your ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I am bisexual?
Q. Can anyone who is bisexual tell me how they first realized they were bi? I definitely know that I am attracted to guys and I have had a bf. I have always assumed I am straight but my really good guy friend thinks that I am bi because we alwa...
A. 21 March 2009: Hey,
I think you're wayyy too concerned about fitting yourself into a box - gay, straight, bi. Well, sister that's a really big spectrum and there's an awful lot of gray area in between. You're young, you don't have to commit to being ANYTHING... (read in full...)
My dad is putting so much pressure on our relationship...
Q. I'm not usually one to express my problems over the net, but would appreciate an outside perspective on this issue. My partner of 5 years and I got engaged 3 months ago. Everything was great until our family found out we had got ourselves into a bad ...
A. 20 March 2009: I think that first you need to have a heart to heart with Daddy.
I think you need to talk face-to-face, calmly but assertively about how he feels about your fella. You tell him straight: I don't want to pick sides. I love you Dad, but I love my ... (read in full...)
An aspiring drama actor in an awkward scene
Q. hello aunty,I am an aspiring drama actor,recently I have done some good plays and an upcoming actor..last week I was offered a lead role in a drama,which has a romantic story..but this time I have been paired against my sister -in-law,(my 2nd ...
A. 19 March 2009: If you want to be a professional actor, you can't turn down a role for any reason, not unless it's a crappy play that'll just make you look bad. You need to be building your resumé, and it seems like you'll be working with noted talent. This could ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found messages I shouldn't have seen, now it's causing all sorts of problems!
Q. My mom and my step dad have been together ever since I was in kindergarten. I am fifteen now. They have been on and off basically my whole life. Separating then getting back together, etc. I have never really had a problem with it. A couple ...
A. 19 March 2009: Hi there,
You need to stop feeling bad about what you did. Think about it, you saved your Mom from a life with a dishonest, deceptive, cheating man. Had you not told your Mom, she'd be completely oblivious to the shady business your step Dad was ... (read in full...)
How can I repair months of damage of making him feel unwanted and allow him to feel happy and secure in our relationship again?
Q. I love my husband and want my marriage to work. I've spent months thinking I don't love him and then when we're about to split up I feel like my heart is breaking in two. How can I repair months of damage of making him feel unwanted and all...
A. 16 March 2009: Hi there,
I think that to keep a marriage spicy and not just a friendship (such a challenge, I know!) it takes a lot of dedication from both parties. People say that marriage is hard work and that's no lie. To keep things spicy, you need to make ... (read in full...)
I need your help here! How do I get my girlfriend to open up to me? Do I have to open up first?
Q. Hi, I'm having trouble opening up to my girlfriend to get her to open up. I always imagine just being totally romantic to her and kissing her passionately but I'm afraid of the out come is what scares me and if I screw up. I feel like such an idiot ...
A. 16 March 2009: Hey there,
I agree with Elegabalus. Sometimes you just have to be a little assertive. I'm not saying be aggressive, but asserting yourself will go somewhere in this situation. Most girls feel as awkward as you do making the first move, especial... (read in full...)
What are the signs of a true female orgasm?
Q. I want to know what the signs of a "true female orgasm" are. I know that there are some people who say that you can't tell but I don't believe that. So someone please help me by making this clear to me....
A. 15 March 2009: You got great advice, just adding in...
Keep in mind that some women's contractions are more obvious than others. For instance, if your lady has been working on her Kegel exercises, she may have more noticeable contractions, but she also could ha... (read in full...)
Its a big step going from his, mine to "ours"
Q. My boyfriend and I recently decided to move in together when my current lease is up in June. It seemed like the natural thing to do, and I was even the one who suggested it, but now that it's 'offical' I find myself getting rather nervous. I've ...
A. 14 March 2009: Here's my take: completely normal.
It's completely weird to go from living your own life by your own schedule without consideration for anyone else, to living with someone, always there, suddenly it's both of yours, you have no personal space or... (read in full...)
Need Help,Wife spoketo ex lover and its killing me!
Q. Hello everyone and thanks in advance for the help....I am a 36 yr old male and my wife of 12 years (been married 12-together 17) is also 36. We have two kids and up until last week i thought a very good realationship. Here is my situation. I ca...
A. 14 March 2009: Hey,
I agree with the other posters, I do think that you overreacting a little bit. I'm not saying that hearing that conversation between my fella and an ex wouldn't get me gritting my teeth and calling the ex a slew of obscenities, so I do feel ... (read in full...)
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