A
male
age
26-29,
*rleslie
writes:I'm really nice to my little sister (11) but she is mean to me. We get along but out of no where she will start calling me names and hitting me for no reason. I'll hit her back some times but I get tired of it. I really want me and her to be close and not fight. Every time I put my arm around her she claims she can't breathe when my arm is just on her shoulder. When I ask for a hug she says no EVERY TIME. When I say I love you she says I hate you to. We are half siblings, we share the same dad. We just found out about each other last year, my dad knew about me and paid child support but I never knew about him until I asked my mom who my real dad was. So, now I'm going to move in with my dad in a year. Right now im down for two months and I want me and my sister to be nice to each other, I at least want a hug twice a year.
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male
reader, arleslie +, writes (13 June 2009):
arleslie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBTW, she was grounded this week for calling my step-mom (her mom) fat and being mean to her also... She also has another half sister (My step-sister) and she has lived with her, her whole life. so she's not used to being an only child.------------pinktopaz My dad knows it hurts my feelings, but he's not really the emotional type. But, my step mom also knows that it hurts my feelings and she has comfort be about it to and has talked to her also but things haven't changed.downsycreatures When she hits me it more like horse play, and it ends up in a play fight, but sometimes I hit her to hard and stuff and I don't like hurting her. Also, She hardly ever gets hugs and kisses from other family members.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 June 2009):
 I just want to add in - never stop saying "I love you". Even if she doesn't return the sentiment, never stop saying it. I don't want to be all dark and dismal, but you never know what will happen to you and every day it's important to tell the people you love that you love them. Even if she is mean to you and if she gets into a mood (she's 11, it happens), she will always remember how you told her that you loved her every day. It is so important to feel like you are loved even if you don't show that it matters to you - it probably does mean a lot to her. And definitely, down the road, she'll remember how you always told her that you loved her.
She's just growing up and being difficult. Kids do that. Maybe you can still offer to take her to the movies sometime. Making effort never hurts. But, give her space so that she can do that growing up that she needs to do... and don't be hurt by her attitude. She'll grow out of it. You just keep being the big brother who loves her.
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, freebird  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 Hi there,
Its very nice that you want your sister to accept you as a friend. Its great to have a sister.
But when I was growing up , me and my brother used to fight a lot. I once pushed him to the wall and he had this enormous bump on his head. poor thing. So fighting is a sign of a healthy sibling relationship !!!. But we share a good rapport now and are there for each other.So siblings fight even if they happen to share both the parents.
Also your sister might be having her own troubles in coming to terms with a divided family or she might be feeling insecure that she will have to share her dad's love and affection with you. Since she is eleven she might take time to understand.
meanwhile you can keep being nice and normal to her. also don't insist on the hug. let her grow up enough to understand your love!
But you are very sweet, I must say!
Hugs ( till you get your annual quota)
FB
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 June 2009):
Tell your dad. Let him know it hurts your feelings because you're trying to be nice to your sister and she's constantly mean to you. It's not tattling, but it's something that your dad can probably get through to her better than you talking to her. She's just a kid and being bratty. If she's used to being the only child she may be upset and jealous of you. Just back off of her for a while. Don't be mean to her, but don't make so much of an effort to be her "friend." I'm sure once your dad talks to her and she notices that you're not paying attention to her the way you were before, she'll come around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): I understand how you feel. It was the same with my little sister. When I moved into a boarding school and left home, I got a called from her. She said that she missed me and loved me. I was 16 and she was 14. Things change when you leave home and barely see each other anymore. You start to realize what's important.
Give your sister some time and space. At that age girls are quite emotional. She's trying to become more adult-like and probably feels like a baby with too much hugs and kisses from family members. Just drop hints that you are there for her if she needs you. Otherwise, just leave her alone. When she hits you, just be the more mature person and stop. Leave the room.
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