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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Need Help,Wife spoketo ex lover and its killing me!
Q. Hello everyone and thanks in advance for the help....I am a 36 yr old male and my wife of 12 years (been married 12-together 17) is also 36. We have two kids and up until last week i thought a very good realationship. Here is my situation. I ca...
A. 14 March 2009: Hey,
I agree with the other posters, I do think that you overreacting a little bit. I'm not saying that hearing that conversation between my fella and an ex wouldn't get me gritting my teeth and calling the ex a slew of obscenities, so I do feel ... (read in full...)
I think my buddy had sex with my girlfriend
Q. I need help me and my gf are both 15 and we've been going out for 8 months, we love eachother (not sexually active yet)... but im a little concerned, let me tell you the background of the story: she went to a latenight party last n...
A. 14 March 2009: Hey darling,
Well, it does add up, I'll give you that. It could also be something completely coincidental and innocent. But, my ears definitely prick up and yes, the whole thing sounds suspicious to me.
I think I would ask your buddy first... (read in full...)
Trying for a second child after the death of our baby...
Q. Trying for a second after the death of our baby. My husband and I were high school sweet hearts and both knew we wanted to have children. Sortly after we got married we tried to get pregnant after 3 years and many tries we finally got pregnant...
A. 13 March 2009: What a tough situation. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think that if you feel like it's too soon for him, avoid it. You will know better than any of us whether or not he's truly ready. Feel him out, use that faithful woman's intuition to figure o... (read in full...)
What can I do to help him change his controlling behavior
Q. Question of love is not the issue. My bf seems controlling. If u dont see things the way he does even politics he gets upset, he doesnt yell he just hides for weeks. If he does something wrong (usually not intentional) and it hurts you - he tur...
A. 12 March 2009: RCN gave you great advice!!
So pretty much, I'll reiterate, but these are my two cents! :o)
If he is 47 years old, this has been a behavior that has grown for 47 years. He will not easily change and certainly not by you. What this man needs is... (read in full...)
G/f too embarrassed to tell me anything
Q. im 14 and my girlfriend is really in experienced and shy, how do i know when she is ready for more than making out if she wont tell me because she is too "embarassed"...
A. 9 March 2009: If she says she's embarrassed, then honey - she ain't ready. It's really hard to say that to your boyfriend, and if you press her for an answer, she's going to feel pressured (whether that's the way you intend to make her feel or not) to comply. ... (read in full...)
Will she be turned off by my "lil buddy?"
Q. hey aunts , i need some advice.. okay here's the deal, me and my girlfriend really like each other and have been going out for a year..she's 15, im 14.. well any ways we've made out and stuff but have done anything other than that, and w...
A. 8 March 2009: I don't think that she'll be turned off, not in a billion years. You guys really like each other and love being together, and you're certainly measuring up!! Don't stress about it. I think she'll adore your "lil' buddy". Keep in mind, it may be the ... (read in full...)
She wants to end the affair, do I end the gifts?
Q. I have been having an affair with my personnel assistant (PA) for the last 3 years. I gave her preferential treatment in terms of promotion, gifts, conference trips and salary. At the start of the relationship I thought she was going with me for ...
A. 7 March 2009: Here's what I think you can stop: no more gifts, no more trips that she doesn't need to attend. What I don't think you can do, I'm not sure legally or not, is take away her current position and salary. You can't demote her for ending an affair. All ... (read in full...)
Jealous all the time and need help!!!
Q. I am going out with this girl who I like a lot. However I seem to get jealous a lot when she talks about guys she goes to school with or when it seems like she is flriting. Like the other day my friend was texting her and I got mad cuz i thought ...
A. 7 March 2009: Hey, don't let this get out of control. You're young and you can curb this side of you now. Listen, if she's trustworthy, trust her. If she breaks that trust it's not because you did something wrong or weren't attentive enough or whatever, it's ... (read in full...)
I keep dreaming I'm sleeping with Present Bush!
Q. This isn't exactly a relationship question, but I'm in desperate need of help here! This is going to sound really weird and borderline gross, but please bear with me. I am a young, female, Liberal Democrat of nineteen (voted for Obama and suppor...
A. 7 March 2009: Eh, girlfriend, it's a dream. I have bizarr-o sex dreams ALL. THE. TIME. I'm not sure what that says about me, but certainly not that I actually have feelings for Homer Simpson (last nights questionable act).
I don't think this means that you... (read in full...)
Ex fiance backin the picture and more confused than ever!
Q. A few months back I put up a question about my ex-fiance that recently came back into my life. Well, things have been... interesting. I'm not exactly sure where to go with this. Here's a quick synopsis of whats happened. Was engaged to this ...
A. 7 March 2009: Oh Gosh, a closer look at everything tells me - just cut contact with her. Don't wait around any longer. Law down the law, as you say!! Say listen, you're with me or you're not. Then, let it be over.... (read in full...)
Should I wash my hands after someone very poor touches me?
Q. I'm from the Philippines and I have a moral issue... I like to help the poor, give them alms and stuff they need... but am I being a bad person if I immediately wash my hands after they touch me? I'm very confused....
A. 7 March 2009: It's not awful to wash your hands, as everyone has said just don't cross the line into rudeness by washing your hands immediately and in their eyesight. Otherwise, absolve yourself from guilt. You're just germ-conscious, but your heart is gold!... (read in full...)
Should I get my mum something really special for mothers day...?
Q. Hey. Mothers day is this month and I'm a little stuck for as to what to do. My mum's mum (so my gran) died just before Christmas, as did my mum's dad (my grandad). He died literally two weeks after my gran did, so it was really sad and hard for ...
A. 7 March 2009: Oh my, your poor Mom!!! What an awful time she's going through and what a great daughter you're being to her. If you've got money to work with, maybe take her out for a pampering day - massages, facial, a manicure. Buy her something pretty, like a ... (read in full...)
Ex fiance backin the picture and more confused than ever!
Q. A few months back I put up a question about my ex-fiance that recently came back into my life. Well, things have been... interesting. I'm not exactly sure where to go with this. Here's a quick synopsis of whats happened. Was engaged to this ...
A. 7 March 2009: I think you really need to detach yourself from this one. I don't know if she's necessarily playing head games with you, I think that you guys have a history together and yes, she cares about you. But does she want to be in a relationship again, ... (read in full...)
How do you make sex beautiful for both of you?
Q. Ladies what do you do to make sure you are satisfied during sex? What do you do to satisfy your man during sex? What do you do to make sex beautiful for you both? ...
A. 7 March 2009: It's important that both parties have their partners pleasure in mind. It's important that you share what you like and what you aren't crazy about, because neither of you are mind readers! The best sex me and my fella have is after a good massage ... (read in full...)
Why did she send that text? And what should I do with my ex when I see her? Confused!
Q. So my girlfriend dumped me after about a year of dating she started to tell me she still had feelings for me but just did not want a boyfriend...even I love you etc...I'm still so in love with her, perhaps more now because I lost her. After a few ...
A. 7 March 2009: Don't be tricked again!! She seems to have a clear MO, she comes to you when she's feeling lonely or when she wants attention, but she doesn't want the full commitment of a relationship. She's keeping you on a string, and that's no good. Don't let ... (read in full...)
Everyone else seems normal and I don't know what's wrong with me!
Q. I don't know whats wrong with me. I feel like bursting into tears all the time for no reason. I don't want to go out with my friends anymore and my mood swings are so bad i just want to give up on everything. I get so many spots now and i never us...
A. 7 March 2009: Definitely check out alternatives to the Pill. It can wreak havoc on your hormonal system!! Not to mention, you're 14 and that's a rough time to be in. Your hormones are already going crazy and feeling depressed is sort of a phase of growing up. ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel bad when I hear his voice mail messages?
Q. I just found out by another woman that my boyfriend of 4yrs were together during the summer time and I just found a text message on his phone that he had sent her 3weeks ago..a nude pic of himself..he denied it at first but after I found out ...
A. 7 March 2009: It's completely normal to feel sad when you hear his voice. After all, you're still mourning the breakup. But, you need to delete those messages, I wouldn't even bother listening to them. Just delete them. You did the right thing by throwing him out ... (read in full...)
We are drifting apart in the bedroom, how can I sort this?
Q. I have been married 19 years and it seems we are drifting apart in the bedroom, she doesn't seem to want to make love any more. What can I do to corect this? drifter ...
A. 5 March 2009: I think everyone is right, this is a phase people go through at various points along a relationship road. I think it's just an indication that your relationship needs a big boost. You're stuck in a rut, maybe she's getting bored or just not feeling ... (read in full...)
Does wearing specs mean I'm a geek?
Q. Whats your view as society on people who wear spectacles.? Recently i moved in to a new college and i am taking science and math classes. people call me a geek. Should i stop wearing them???...
A. 5 March 2009: Never in a billion years!!!
Glasses are the hotness! I've been wearing glasses forever and when offered the chance to move to contacts, I say NEVER! Glasses are such an awesome accessory - you have two looks! With glasses, without glasses.... (read in full...)
Need to hear from people who have broken up with their first love and re-connected after many years?
Q. Has anyone broken up with their first real love only to get back together for good later on in life? I love him with all my heart and Im finding it possible that my heart keeps breaking more and more every day he's not here. its been seven months ...
A. 4 March 2009: My first true love and I broke up after a year and a half, and oh my Gosh, if my heart wasn't crushed. That pain lasted for a good year, just me constantly weepy and in a daze. It was rough, Thank God my friends could stand me after it all, because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going to kill me! I just had sex with my ex!
Q. I had a one night stand and we weren't just kissing, I did not have a condom, I was not even planning to have sex, I was coming out of my job but worst of all it was my ex! My boyfriend is going to kill me. I am so afraid that he is going to find ...
A. 4 March 2009: Don't tell him, just ditch him. Clearly, you're not totally 100% invested in this relationship or you wouldn't have cheated. And the fact that you're so afraid of him and his quick, volatile reactions is a major red flag to me. If he's got a nasty ... (read in full...)
I would love to have sex with her but I don't want to lose my virginity just yet.
Q. Hi aunts, I need some advice. I have a girlfriend and I absolutely adore her, she feels the same way about me, and I'll never do anything to pressure her or hurt her. See I'm a pretty nice guy (14), really sensitive and caring, I'm not like those ...
A. 4 March 2009: Oooh, how I adore you. The classic penis vs. brain struggle, but you sound like you're smart enough to be thinking with you head at least!! I think that it's great you and your girlfriend get along so well, and I think it's marvelous that you don't ... (read in full...)
I found another woman's panties in my boyfriend's glove compartment!!!!
Q. I was driving with my boyfriend to his apartment. I stopped at the durg store to buy some condoms but when I got back to his car I found someones elses panties! He knows they must of been there before but how could I not see them??? Then worst of ...
A. 3 March 2009: Why did I write right quite? What does that even mean? I mean right QUICK!!!! A you should make him eat those panties (unless he's into that kind of thing, in which case you should burn them in front of him). ... (read in full...)
I found another woman's panties in my boyfriend's glove compartment!!!!
Q. I was driving with my boyfriend to his apartment. I stopped at the durg store to buy some condoms but when I got back to his car I found someones elses panties! He knows they must of been there before but how could I not see them??? Then worst of ...
A. 3 March 2009: I sure hope you dumped him right quite!!!
What a jerk!... (read in full...)
I can't be open with my b/f!
Q. hi, i cant get myself to be open about my feelings and stuff with my boyfriend anymore. i trust him but i'm afraid he'll end up thinking i'm too needy. i've got too many issues and i dont want to scare him off. what to do?...
A. 3 March 2009: I completely agree with the first poster.
For me, when i need to emote to my fella, or vent, or just get my feelings out in the open, it is best if I give him good warning first. I say something like, "hey sweet, I really need to vent right no... (read in full...)
Is it too early to propose to her... I'm 14!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months now and I'm a sophmore in high school and she is a junior and she's going to enlist in the national gaurd and me in the navy but I really really love her and I was thinking about proposing march 31 her ...
A. 3 March 2009: Listen, sweet. I personally think that neither one of you is heading off at least until you finish school. Do that first. Then, if you're both graduated, still together and in love and prepared to make a lifelong commitment, THEN do some proposing. ... (read in full...)
Could I still get a purity ring if I had sex before marriage?
Q. i have already had sex once and it was the biggest mistake of my life.i wanted to wait until i was married.could i still get a purity ring?a promise to myself that i will not have sex again until married?...
A. 2 March 2009: Maybe buy yourself a ring and wear it for your own reasons. I think that if you want some sort of object to symbolize "a promise to myself that i will not have sex again until married", that's cool. That's fine. And it's your own business.
Good ... (read in full...)
Why do some girls want to become porn stars?
Q. why do some girls want to be porn stars .why can't they get office jobs?...
A. 27 February 2009: Porn pays a TON more for 3 hours of very little work.
Office, you're being treated like a rat, working 6 hours a day and getting paid squat.... (read in full...)
How to meet Latin women?
Q. I have always loved Latin women. I have dated a few before. I am headed to visit an old friend in Argentina later this year and I see this as a way to meet a potential girlfriend in a place where I have heard there are beautiful women. But the ...
A. 26 February 2009: I see you live in America - go to craigslist.org and see if you can find a Spanish tutor. There are always ways to learn Spanish. You could get one of those CD learning sets, or go to a local community college and sign up for a Beginner's course.
... (read in full...)
How can you tell if you're being used or not?
Q. Well this is what happens when you get bored in astronomy class... but anyway I have been thinking a lot lately. I met a girl a few weeks ago, I hung out with her for about 4 hours the first time we met and things just clicked immediately and one ...
A. 25 February 2009: This is a pretty vague question, just because there is absolutely no indication of anyone using anyone. You went out with this girl, you had a nice time, you hooked up, and...? I mean, what do you think she's using you for? Money? Attention? Just a ... (read in full...)
Female to male anal
Q. In general do women tend to like or dislike the thought of a straight male liking Anal sex and do/would they like to give it?...
A. 25 February 2009: It really depends on the woman!! Just as some men love the thought of anal sex and some men want to run to the hills at the thought, women are all over the map too.
I, for one, kind of like the thought... and I might be up for some kinkines... (read in full...)
How do I stop being taken for granted and seen for who I am?
Q. I'm a 23 year old female. I've been seeing a friend and occasionaly we makeout. But I feel he's started taking me for granted. I know I'm fulfiling some of his basic urges but I'm an attractive, intelligent girl (at the risk of sounding cocky). How ...
A. 25 February 2009: Definitely by pulling away. Sorry, I know you didn't want to hear that, but seriously IT WORKS. My boyfriend is looking over my shoulder and says that there is NO BETTER WAY!! He says that as horrible as it sounds, human nature is to want what you ... (read in full...)
Dick size & pregnancy?
Q. does dick size have to do with getting a girl pregnant....i went with this dude and he had a super little penis (we definatly didn't have sex) but he has a new girl now and I guess she's pregnant with his baby I'm sittin here thinkin to myself you ...
A. 25 February 2009: That's pretty cold, sister. I can feel the chill from here!
Dick size has nothing to do with getting a girl pregnant. If he can cum, he can make a baby. I hope that the new girl in his life is a little less superficial than you - and I'm usually ... (read in full...)
My wife is trying to get into playgirl to earn extra money
Q. I'm 34, my wife's 32, and we've got a 5-year-old son. For the past few weeks my wife's become obsessed with trying to get into Playgirl magazine as a means of earning extra money. The first time I heard it I asked her "You said what?" and sh...
A. 24 February 2009: http://www.playgirltv.com/
You will be greeted by half naked men and if you press "Enter", you will be greeted by not one, not two, not THREE, but FOUR penises. Not a lady on the page. It advertises itself as the "ULTIMATE ALL MALE MEGASITE... (read in full...)
For anyone who has forgiven a cheating partner, how did you do it? How long did it take you?
Q. How do I forgive my boyfriend for cheating on me? How do I get the images of the two of them out of my head? A short background: My boyfriend broke up with me last March and slept with a girl that night. We got back together a day or two later...
A. 24 February 2009: Hi dear,
Here's the thing - you keep calling him your cheating partner, your cheater boyfriend, but in reality he wasn't your boyfriend at the time. Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be upset, sad, angry about it. I would be too. But, to ... (read in full...)
Should I write a complaint?
Q. i went to the opticians the other day and had the most awful experience. firstly it was fine, i was so calm and happy trying out my contact lenses for the first time! Then the optician sent me through to a woman who didnt realise there was a lense ...
A. 24 February 2009: If you had a terrible experience, sure you should write a complaint! I've had the exact same experience with contact lenses, aren't they a bitch?? And it doesn't help when the trained professional across from you won't even show you how to put them ... (read in full...)
Is this normal? Does this mean that first time sex will hurt?
Q. Sorry if this is gross but I am very worried. I am a virgin but have done gym and horseriding my entire life and used tampons for several years. I do not think I have a hymen as I can't see it or feel it and I have fingered myself. However ...
A. 24 February 2009: Hello my dear,
You don't have anything to worry about. Just because you've lost your hymen doesn't mean first time sex won't hurt. Any time you try to put a big, foreign object inside of you - it'll hurt! The breaking of hymen is what makes so... (read in full...)
She won't let me touch her below the waist in ANY way
Q. Hey, me and my 15 year old girlfriend (were sexually active but don't have intercourse) is very very self concious about her period. She won't let me touch her in anyway below her waist, any ideas to help her ease up? She's very clean..always, and ...
A. 24 February 2009: Ya know, she probably hasn't been at this for too long and I'm 22 and still don't like my fella of 4 years to be messing around with me during my "Dark Week" - a.k.a, my period. Usually I'm feeling really gross and uncomfortable and I just want him ... (read in full...)
Partner kept nude pictures of a one night stand, I'm not sure what to make of it all!
Q. Hi:) My dilemma is a bit complicated but here goes! I was on my partner's PC looking for pics of a family holiday we had recently had. While looking for the folder they were in I came across a folder full of poetry and short stories he had written. ...
A. 23 February 2009: I personally agree with TalkingHelps, but just not quite as harshly. I don't think that you're a drama queen, per se, but I do think that you overreacted. Personally, I keep all those keepsakes and memories too. It is a shame he deleted that poetry ... (read in full...)
What if my husband doesn't get me an anniversary gift?
Q. My 5th wedding anniversary is coming up this Saturday. I got my husband something I know he will really like, but I'm thinking he is going to not get me anything great. He has a habit of not getting me gifts. I don't think I have ever gotten a ...
A. 23 February 2009: Well, he sounds like he's pretty consistent with his gift forgetting, so you need to be extremely forward with what you want. Dropping tiny hints won't work, you need to speak clearly to him. "So on Saturday, after dinner, I thought it would be a ... (read in full...)
Since my hymen was already broken from sports, why did it hurt?
Q. My boyfriend and I were at my house alone today and we ended up in a play fight over the remote. Well, it resulted in sex. We got so turned on that we got physical. It was unprotected and it hurt. I was a virgin and this was my first time. I don't ...
A. 23 February 2009: Well that's good, way to be smart and think ahead!! But, just because you are cootie free, doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant! So just be sure that you seek out protection and keep yourself completely safe from risks.
Awesome though, ... (read in full...)
Since my hymen was already broken from sports, why did it hurt?
Q. My boyfriend and I were at my house alone today and we ended up in a play fight over the remote. Well, it resulted in sex. We got so turned on that we got physical. It was unprotected and it hurt. I was a virgin and this was my first time. I don't ...
A. 22 February 2009: Sex can still hurt even if you don't have a hymen. You're still inserting a big foreign object inside of you!! Your vagina hasn't even had to handle anything like that (big assumption there). However, you CAN get pregnant from this, you ABSOLUTELY ... (read in full...)
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