A
female
age
30-35,
*8ta09
writes:OK.. So there is this guy i've been dating for two years this September.. I love him to peices and i think he may love me a little [too much] I'm seventeen and he is twenty so i can see where some of this comes from.. he proposed to me in february and god im so stupid for saying yes.. the engagement is off now because i wasnt ready.. but here is the problem.. He's clingy, possessive, depressed alllll the time [he has a lot of insecurities...hes a big guy] deep down he's a wonderful person and he deserves the best.. but good god he drives me completely insane!! i dont know what to do.. he knows were on a rough road and we've split up twice but both times he was more up my a** than he was when we were together! Im unhappy with him and i've explained that to him time and time again but i get the whole "Geez if im so bad then why dont you just get rid of me!?" followed by a dirty look and the feeling inside where i just want to push him out of my car.. lol when we break up he doesnt get the whole "I promise its not forever" speech so i dont see what im doing wrong here because he always tells people that were trying to fix things when d*** it i dont want to be with him and i thought i made it crystal clear.. i even saw another guy and made it obvious i liked him. im stuck between a rock and a hard place here and i need some help.. i love the kid to pieces and i dont want to hurt him but somethings gotta be done.. im unhappy. OH!!! and did i mention he is 'daily' saying he wants to have a baby and doing things like holding my stomache while cuddling and saying things like 'a boy can dream cant he' and i am 17 im NO WHERE close to having a kid i got college and a career to look forward to. im sorry if it seems like im ranting [i kinda am] but i figured honesty can make this question easier to answer.. help me out guys...
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female
reader, 78ta09 +, writes (10 June 2009):
78ta09 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks so much guys.. you know ive heard this time and time again from friends but for some reason its much easier to accept when its from complete strangers =] you guys are great
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 June 2009):
 Hello my darling,
Enough is enough!! Why are you telling him "I promise it's not forever"?? YES, YES, YES it should be forever! This guy sounds like a pain in the ass, and you guys have completely different things that you want in life. Clearly he wants some gal who he can marry and make tons of babies with immediately, and you are more ambitious than that. You're thinking about who you should be thinking about - YOU. You've got a career, college, your future to look forward to, and I really think that this guy is just going to hold you back from all of that. If he's not getting you pregnant, he's going to be driving you crazy with his constant insecurities and being so dependent on you.
You are young and have got a lot going on for you. I know that he gets even worse when you're broken up, but I think that's because you're not being serious enough when you end things. You need to really be firm and tell him that it is over, O-V-E-R and that you're not interested in seeing him in the future. Now maybe that won't, in fact, be true, maybe down the road you'll start up again - but I wouldn't give him that thought or else he'll hold onto it for dear life and he won't disconnect from you like he needs to.
I really think that you need to do what's best for you, your sanity and your future - leave him. I think that ultimately it will be better for him too - he needs to get his own life and maybe find someone who is better suited for him and who can make him happy in the way he wants to be happy... some girl who will be content being with him 24/7 and being Little Miss Homemaker with little babies running all over the place. I'm not saying that's a bad thing - it's GREAT for a girl who wants that in life. But clearly, it's not great for you. That would be like a prison sentence for you, it seems. You're just not ready for what this guy wants. So let him go and find what he wants while you go and kickass in your own field, reaching your goals and ambitions. Don't let him hold you back!
Good luck, sweetness!!
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A
female
reader, freddo2007  +, writes (8 June 2009):
hii, i can see where your coming from, my ex was the same he was my first bf and i thought i really loved him but the best thing i EVER done was get rid of him, so all i got to say is just say its over and move on, once you say its over your incontrol and you just have to ignore him and not let your feelings et to you and whatever you do is not feel sorry for him cos if you stay with him it most likely lead to worse. you say your sick of him and you dont like the idea about him wanting a baby and your not ready best thing is for use to been separet girl be strong it will do you really good in the future.
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