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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Do I just need to 'buck up' and take it?
Q. Please help. I am 19 and have been with my boyfriend for over 2 and a half years. I've never had intercourse, but he is 23 and has since he was 18... We've done oral mostly, and I've only been fingered a couple of times, with a ton of pain. I...
A. 1 August 2009: Hi sweetness,
First off, let me tell you a little story. When me and my fella had sex for the first time, I was number 23 on his list and he was my first. It's all good, we're married now and happy, so this has a happy ending. But, it took us ... (read in full...)
What is the secret of a successful relationship?
Q. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read. As alot of agony aunts on here are in successful relationships I'd like to pick some minds about this topic. What IS the secret to a successful relationship? I've seen alot of relationships wh...
A. 30 July 2009: Wow, great question.
The secret to a successful relationship. Funny, I'm getting married and I've been asking EVERYONE, "what is your secret?", and everyone has a different answer. But through experience, questions, and a really great 4 year rel... (read in full...)
My BF broke up with me, should I stay and fight or come back later.
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me after a year of dating. We had a great relationship until the end when things got tense. I started pressuring him to go to the next level and the tension just snow balled. He says he's convinced in his heart and so...
A. 29 July 2009: Your boyfriend has made his decision. I won't tell you to move on, but I will tell you that it sounds unlikely that he's going to want to get back into a relationship with you. So if you'd like to stay stuck on him, alright, but it does seem like ... (read in full...)
Was he into me and kinda ask me out?
Q. So here is a little back round. I am a teen who works as a cashier and I get a lot of people who live on farms, esp young farm boys. This guy looked to be around my age and I thought he was REALLY cute. Also the fair is this week and the local 4h ...
A. 28 July 2009: Well, big points for being gutsy, girl!! Now, I don't think that he exactly asked you out. Seems more like you kind of asked HIM out. I think he knows that you're interested, and perhaps he's not quite as gutsy as you are. But, if you want to really ... (read in full...)
We're fighting and his birthday is this week...How do I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a fight right now, but his birthday is in two days. Should I still celebrate with him? Get him a gift? Or wait until we sort things out to celebrate?...
A. 28 July 2009: Oooh, tricky situation. Do you think that things will get worked out, or are you on the verge of breaking up? Well, you have two days to sort things out. I'd try to. But since you're still dating, I would at least acknowledge his birthday, because ... (read in full...)
What does he mean by saying they have a great 'personality'?
Q. Hi Everyone I would like to know: My husband (been married almost 10 y) always says the same thing... What does it mean?When he sees a naked woman, on TV or in the newspaper or in a magazine, he looks her up and down, and says: she looks like s...
A. 28 July 2009: So he's a joker, is he? Sounds to me like this is just his funny phrase (and let's face it, it's a little funny... at least to me, who is not his wife). It's tacky, but if he's a good husband to you, a good Dad to the kids, I would just roll my eyes ... (read in full...)
Should I confront him about the pictures of him partying with other girls?
Q. Hi I am 23 I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years. My sister was logged on to her facebook showing my mom pictures of my boyfriend. When we looked through them I realized there were a few incriminating photos and a video (him hanging ...
A. 28 July 2009: I don't think you sound stalkerish. It's not as if you were poking around or being creepy monitoring his computer. You were on a different computer, showing your Mom pictures and you came across these pictures and videos you had never seen before... ... (read in full...)
Guys, what kind of presents do you like?
Q. heyy i really need suggestions for my boyfriends birthday present! im 15 and hes turning 17. guys what kinds of presents would you like, or what was the best present you ever got? and girls what was the most appreciated present you ever gave? i need ...
A. 27 July 2009: Good presents are in the thought behind it. Trust me, I've definitely spent tons of money on some guys who liked the gifts alright, but the guys that I spent time on and got something personal, they always loved the gift that much more. Let's see, a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a lump but he wont go to the doctor!
Q. Hello Everyone, My byfriend is 29 and he has a lump on his testicals (inside his scrotum not on the outside) and he tells me it has been there for a good few years. Its nothing you could feel froma general play but he showed me where it was the...
A. 27 July 2009: To the doctor! Immediately! Drag him there kicking and screaming if necessary. And as for his fear of the doctor, remind him that those doctors have seen EVERYTHING and many things much worse than your boyfriend! So he needs to stop being silly and ... (read in full...)
I've got hair growing on my bottom!
Q. ok this is quite embarrassing but im sure its normal. but i have har growing on my bottom and i saw my bottom in the mirror the other day when i got out of the shower and it really looked freaky. i was just wondering what should i do about it? ...
A. 27 July 2009: You're totally normal, my dear. So I wouldn't worry about it. But, if it skeeves you out and you really want to get rid of it, don't shave it!! The hair growing back will drive you crazy, it'll be itchy and uncomfortable. Definitely get it waxed if ... (read in full...)
A spark between friends
Q. I am confused by a current tricky situation. I am single after breaking up with a long- term ex . An old admirer from the past has helped me get over the break up ( I have a child ). He said initially " he would like to support me in a tough time ...
A. 26 July 2009: It seems that there is definitely a spark there. He seems like he is very interested in you... just make sure that he doesn't either take advantage of your vulnerability or accidentally become a rebound for you. Give yourself a little extra time to ... (read in full...)
Will she make a particular sound if she has an orgasm?
Q. During intercourse last night my girlfriend gasped several times and then released a deep sigh.This was the 1st time she'd been vocal.Afterwards I asked if she'd orgasmed .She said no but now felt the need to express the pleasure of feeling my ...
A. 25 July 2009: I think every woman makes a different sound on release. Just like all men make different sounds when they finish. But once you hear it the first time, you'll never forget what it sounds like... ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to plan something for us to do. How do I make this happen?
Q. how do i get the guy i like to come up with the idea to make a plan with me? is this even possible? (i heard that guys don't do so well with subtle hints many times.) i really like this guy. i want him to come over next week when my parents are g...
A. 25 July 2009: Well, you won't get far if you don't take a chance on him. If you want to start something with this guy, why not let him know that you're interested? Sometimes you've got to grit your teeth or go for it. GOOD LUCK!... (read in full...)
Should I leave my fiance even though I'm pregnant?
Q. I thought I was going to marry my best friend, but now I feel like I am making a huge mistake by committing my life to my fiance. "John" and I were as close as any friends could be- we worked together, spent every day together and hung out in soci...
A. 23 July 2009: It seems like you will either be miserable with John with a child together, or you'll be happier without John and have a child and joint custody. Why don't you talk to your family about how you're feeling, see if you have their support to be on your ... (read in full...)
He said he knew we would have sex as soon as he met me, is this because I look easy?
Q. Met this guy on internet dating. He said he knew when we met that we are going to have sex. Why did he say that? Because I look easy or because he also felt that there is some chemistry? Went for coffee at his place and when I got home someone ...
A. 23 July 2009: Ugh, I'd just drop this guy. Anyone who says, "hey, I knew I could bang you as soon as I saw you" is like, one thousand degrees less classy than any guy you deserve. Whoever wrote that in your window... well, who knows what their intentions were, ... (read in full...)
I have same name crushes, am I crazy?
Q. Is it weird that I keep crushing on guys with the same first name? I'm fairly sure it's just co-incidence but has anyone else ever found the same thing happening to them? There are two guys that I have fancied for a few a years and they are both...
A. 23 July 2009: Hmmm, well, I went through a Nate spell. I dated three of them in a row! It was crazy. I didn't mean to, it just coincidentally happened!
So, I think that it started as just a coincidence, and now that you're aware of it, you keep noticing... (read in full...)
Curious about certain in-law behaviour. Need input on this.
Q. I need someone's input on this. My sister-in-law and a few of my wife's cousins have the tendency of getting up close to me to the point where their breast is rubbing up against my arm. For example, if we are at a party and I am taking pictures with ...
A. 22 July 2009: Hi there,
I think that they probably just don't notice. I definitely get nice and close with my friends and family when taking pictures, and I can't say that I'm thinking about where my boobs are... we're generally so close together that everythi... (read in full...)
Females: How do you react when a guy is hugging you and he gets an erection?
Q. Females: How do you react when a guy is hugging you and he gets an erection? Do you act flattered? Are you usually disgusted? I hug this girl from time to time and I always get an erection whilst hugging her. I used to find it embarassing unti...
A. 22 July 2009: I won't lie to you, I'd be a little skeeved out if a guy hugged me and had a massive erection. It would make me want to avoid the hugs, or at least avoid eye contact. But, if she continues to want hugs, to hold on for awhile, then I would assume ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with only wanting to have one sexual partner?
Q. My boyfriend says that I have "twisted view" whatver that means. He and I been together for almost 2 years now and he took my virginity. According to him he wants to have sex with other people now because he is too used to me. He is 19 years old. He ...
A. 21 July 2009: You are not crazy. And you need to drop this boyfriend. I know he means a lot to you and that you want to marry him, but I fear you'll be setting yourself up for a lifetime of this argument, "being monogamous is unnatural". He wants to sow his wild ... (read in full...)
How do I come clean to my mum that the condom she found was mine and my boyfriend's?
Q. my mom found a condom that me and my boyfriend used but i couldnt find any excuse but to tell her that it was one of my friends from work that put it in my bag but i find it hard to believe that she believed me and im 16! i dont know how to tell her ...
A. 21 July 2009: Ask if you two can go out to dinner. Make it nice, have a little girl's day. Maybe a little shopping, a movie, a manicure? You'll be feeling close and chummy by the end, so you can sit her down and say, "Mom, I really want to talk to you about ... (read in full...)
My friends feel more like family than my actual family do
Q. Hello. I would assume its an issue. When I'm around my parents I'm quiet, easily annoyed and angered. I have a step-mother, with her I feel like the 3rd party ya know? I get left out with my family. Cleaning,running errands for my parents and what...
A. 21 July 2009: Hi there, sweetness.
You already got some great advice, but I also wanted to point out that a LOT LOT LOT of teenagers feel this way. You're 14 - it makes sense that you would rather be hanging out with your friends than your family. That's p... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to plan something for us to do. How do I make this happen?
Q. how do i get the guy i like to come up with the idea to make a plan with me? is this even possible? (i heard that guys don't do so well with subtle hints many times.) i really like this guy. i want him to come over next week when my parents are g...
A. 21 July 2009: He can't read your mind, and as you've said - a lot of guys aren't good picking up subtle hints. But when I want my guy to plan a day out, I just tell him. I say, "hey - I've got Saturday free and would love a hot date with my guy. My fam is out of ... (read in full...)
I don't want to seem psycho by texting too much, but I really like her!
Q. So i saw this girl at my job i haven't seen in about four years. We had a thing in high school and i really liked her. And vice versa. We talked awhile and i ended getting her number. We text each other and she told me she still liked me. How she ...
A. 21 July 2009: Hey there,
Maybe she is just not a texter. I know I'm certainly not!! People text me and I just sort of drop off... I prefer a phone call or face-to-face. Perhaps your gal is the same way? But try not to overwhelm her with your affection and atte... (read in full...)
What does being someones pigeon mean?
Q. Would like to know what this phrase means. What does being someone's "pigeon" mean?...
A. 20 July 2009: You might find the song "No Pigeons" by Sporty Thievez helpful in your answer. It's totally inappropriate, but it is all about pigeons. It was in response to the TLC song "No Scrubs".
Perhaps you will find your answer there? Or perhaps that wil... (read in full...)
I'm so frightened. I think hes suffering from post traumatic stress
Q. I married my best friend of over ten years three years ago; right outside of high school. A month later, I found out I was pregnant. Two months into it, my husband enlisted in the US Army. He was deployed to Iraq four months before I gave birth. ...
A. 18 July 2009: It sounds like he definitely has PTSS, definitely get him help as soon as you can. Time is sanity and your safety. I'm sure that he loves you and the kids, but that sort of trauma can make you do things you had no idea you were capable of. Please ... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 17 July 2009: I do believe that he's dropping hints alright, but if he has a girlfriend don't do anything with him!! It is always messy to get involved with a fella in a relationship, so stay clear of anything like that! Keep up with the chatting, but ke... (read in full...)
Is changing your appearance a good way to get over someone?
Q. my boyfriend and i spilt up a few days ago, we havent really dicussed it, i just said it was over and that was that, i dont really want to go into details about it, but i had good reasons for it though. i don't want to ever go back, but i have long ...
A. 17 July 2009: Hi there, sweetness...
Well, I know of lots of people who go through a break up, then revamp themselves as a confidence boost and a middle finger to their ex. And hey, it can really work for some people, make them feel better and give them tha... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend is charging me with vandalism!
Q. Long story short, my bf cheated on me. i didnt know how to deal with this, ive been upset for the last two weeks so in a drunken rage i took red spray paint to his door (he has a door that leads outside) and painted CHEATER on it really big it felt ...
A. 17 July 2009: I don't know, my darling. You're going to have to get some answers from some people familiar with the law, but it seems like to me that you're pretty much guilty of vandalism. You did spray paint his door, and while I sympathize with your reasons ... (read in full...)
I told him to wait, then I freaked out ....
Q. I told my boyfriend that I was going gave him virginity on his birthday. He isn't a virgin and waited for me since I wasn't ready yet. He started pressuring me unintentionally, he kept telling me he wait until his b-day and I sort of felt like I had ...
A. 16 July 2009: Things are best unplanned. Like a first kiss, and especially like losing your virginity. Losing your virginity is something that should happen naturally, when it feels right. Pressing yourself to lose it on a certain date and time makes the whole ... (read in full...)
I am super paranoid about my boyfriend spending one night at his friend's place
Q. Do I have something to worry about or are my friends just trying to get things into my head? Ok, so my boyfriend is hanging out with his buddies this weekend..it's one of the guys B-day. :) Anyways, he said that he might drive out Friday after wor...
A. 15 July 2009: Nahh, there's no problem here. Time apart in a relationship is a totally healthy, encouraged thing. If you spend every waking hour together, you won't appreciate each other and get a chance to miss each other. You have to do your own thing and he ... (read in full...)
Is it stress, or am I just pregnant?
Q. I am a sexually active 18 year old. I do not use a Birth Control Pill but I do use condoms consistently and carefully. I always make sure to check the condom and put it on/take it off properly. I get really paranoid, so after sex I check the ...
A. 15 July 2009: I really think that you're not pregnant, you and your missing period are suffering from major anxiety, crazy and huge life changes, yo-yoing weight and new antibiotics. All of these things can cause your cycle to get out of whack and I'm not ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy the company of his family
Q. I need some advise. I have been dating a man for alomost 2 years. I have met his family and found that I have absolutely nothing in common with them. His family seem very nice but when ever he asks me to go to a function with them I get a nervous ...
A. 14 July 2009: That BBQ sounds like a blast to me!! Man, his family is my dream family! Shrimp, broccoli, wine, board games? This is practically my ideal evening!! You seem like you come from an active family though, and I can understand if sitting on your butt ... (read in full...)
Would you appear on the show Bachelor or Bachelorette?
Q. Here is something I wanted to float out there to all the Aunties and Uncles. It may seem stupid, but I have just thought I would ask. Right now, between working on my sites, and looking up at the television, I just ran into this trainwreck of a ...
A. 14 July 2009: These shows are the worst!! Oh God, they are just such crap. Who wants to fall in love on a television show - not that I think that's really, even possible. With all the crew work, editing, cameras everywhere, hair and makeup, all that crap - who ... (read in full...)
What is "smart casual"?? What do I wear?
Q. Hi guys. Well basically me and this guy that I like (we went out before and broke up) are seeing each other a few times while his parents are away (dont worry- we will be sensible) and we have been dicussing it tonight. He has asked for the first ...
A. 14 July 2009: Well GOOD LORD! I've never heard of "smart casual" - but, I will take into account that you're in the UK and that could make me a little more out of the loop.
Here is my dress code suggestion: LBD. Little Black Dress. It never fails, it's alw... (read in full...)
Condom split and her mom would kill me if she's pregnant!
Q. Hello there, Me and my GF are both 18 and we had sex the other day and the condom split and I 'cummed' in her. She is worried now and so am I about her being pregnant. She tells me that she is bleeding downstairrs and she always feels sick in th...
A. 13 July 2009: My, my!! Well, if you only had this slip up the other day, I doubt very much that she would be showing symptoms by now! So don't get yourself worried - she is probably stressing as much as you are, hence the sick feelings in the morning. As for ... (read in full...)
Jealous of another student!
Q. i was the smartest girl in class just after miss intelligent came over im alittle jealousd and all the teachers like her now even though i'm better than her in everything other than studies, what do i do? ...
A. 13 July 2009: Good incentive to get you working even harder and pushing yourself even further. Now you don't have to slide by as the smartest gal, now you have to work for it. And when you begin to see your scores improve and your grammar, spelling and English ... (read in full...)
Two guys are chasing me for sex, what should I do?
Q. Well i'm a 14 year old girl, and um Lately i've been gettin alot of attention from the guy's i'm a Virgin and Just got out of a long bad Relationship, I know 2 Guy's That like me right now but They mostly want to have sex, tHat's not the bad Part, ...
A. 13 July 2009: Neither of 'em!
I like "Your Friends" suggestion of cutting both of them off and seeing who wants to pursue you for an actual relationship. These guys are both just enjoy the oral sex and possible sex without any strings attached. You are worth mu... (read in full...)
An Open Letter to All My Friends and Loved Ones....
Q. To All My Friends and Loved Ones.... It is time to say goodbye. My usefulness here is depleted. I have enjoyed every minute of it and have been so fortunate to meet the people I have! I may be back someday...I don't know for sure. But right ...
A. 9 July 2009: Aw, Britt!!
Well, do what you gotta do. But hustle back, we'll miss you - and definitely miss your solid advice. Take care of yourself and when things get shitty, ask yourself "if I was a question on Dear cupid, what would I tell myself?"... (read in full...)
He said 'oops' after the sex ...
Q. hello, im a 16 year old girl needing help. i had sex with a friend of the family and after having sex he said oops. could that mean anything bad? because im scared that he might have gotten me pregnant but its to early to tell....
A. 9 July 2009: Well, were you relying on him pulling out? Was he using a condom? Are you on birth control? I'm assuming if you're scared that you're pregnant, you weren't using any sort of reliable birth control method, and an "oops" very well might mean that he ... (read in full...)
The best snog of our lives...
Q. Hey. I'm Mimza and I have a question for you. Me and my boyfriend want to have the perfect most wonderful snog of our lives, and we are researching all the websites, and trying to get advice. I really need some. Thanks! xxx...
A. 8 July 2009: Haaaahahaha, Eyes.
As for your question, the more you plan it and the more that you read about all these wonderful, amazing, fantastic moments, the more pressure you put on your own moment to be that great. I have a feeling that you're going to... (read in full...)
Am I a slut or are my friends just prudes?
Q. So I hook up with a lot of guys, not as in have sex, but oral and makeout and stuff, a lot of my friends tell me I'm a slut, and they say that they're kidding, but I don't think they are. It could just be because they are prude, because I don't ...
A. 8 July 2009: I think your friends are being a little mean by calling you names like that, but it does seem like maybe they're a little worried about you. Making out with lots of guys, okay. But oral sex with a lot of guys is totally dangerous and could earn you ... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 14 June 2009: Hey there,
Well!! You've made good progress!! Good for you!
This is what I think you should do. You're talking all the time now, why don't you make time to go get coffee or lunch? I think seeing each other face to face in a non-threatening,... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 29 May 2009: Hey darlin,
Next time he asks you, ACCEPT. Or, if you're feeling gutsy (and I hope you are), you should go ahead and ask him to do something casual.
Don't be scared - the worst that can happen is that it doesn't end up going anywhere and you... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 29 May 2009: Sister, it's not even close to too late! It's only too late if he's married or one of you dies. So get on it!! You guys have a history together and that can be a great start to a great relationship. You will never know until you try and you don't ... (read in full...)
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